Chapter 1

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You Can Bet On It

Warnings: yaoi, cross-dressing, religious references, and cursing!

Stupid Bet

Mello POV

"Fucking Near" I hissed to myself as I walked down the street in a black gown with a slit in the left side almost to my hip, clunky ankle-length-laced black heels, "natural" makeup, and shaved legs. "I'm going to kill the sheep!"

Why was I cross-dressing in the first place? Funny you should ask. You see I'm a member of a detective agency under a boss named Watari. The top four agents in the building are myself, L, and Light, and Near. Near and I had been rolling our eyes at the awkward chemistry between L and Light so I bet him that they would get together at the company New Years Eve ball in a few months (L tends to move slow what with being socially inept and all). Near had said they would get together in less than a week. I'd scoffed and said it was on and the loser had to look like a girl in public for a whole day and not give away that they were a guy (not that we would anyway)... L and Light were caught by Near and I making out in the stairway the next day. I still think Near instigated it. "Fucking cheating albino!" I yelled causing people to look at me weird. "My first day off in three weeks and I have to go out like this. Just perfect." I growled and snapped "what are you looking at?" at a man who kept staring at my fake (I was wearing a strapless bra stuffed with tissues) breasts. Snarling I went down the street to where I was planning on watching a new action flick in the cinema. Nice and dark so no one can see me inside.

On the way there I pictured Near being chained to a wall and me dropping acid on him slowly killing him. Little bastard deserved it. I was so lost in my happy world of torturing Near and ignoring his pleas for mercy that I collided with someone. We both fell on our asses and I looked at them and saw it was a boy my age with unnatural-looking red hair, a tan vest with fake fur dividing it into rectangles, a white and black big-striped shirt, tight ribbed blue jeans, black gloves that widened unnecessarily mid forearm, and thick black combat boots. He was also wearing some weird silver-rimmed goggles with orange tinted lenses. I struggled to my feet in the heels from Hell and he helped me up.

"H-hey my name's Matt. What's yours?" he asked.

I paused deciding whether or not to tell him. See a not-so-little-known fact about me is that I'm gay. Like flaming only badass. This 'Matt' guy was kinda cute. I was pretending to be a girl so what would be the harm in going out with him to have some eye-candy to pass the rest of the day from Hell?

"I'm Mello" I said in a soft and girly voice giving him subtle bedroom eyes. He gulped and blushed. I'd bet he was a virgin but I'm not going to be making any other bets any time soon.

"Hey d-do you wanttogoforcoffeeorsomething?" he asked as he avoided eye contact.

"Sure why not" I replied thinking if he was a gentleman I'd get some free coffee out of the deal by having him pay for it. Yes I'm a bastard but at least I admit it OK? He seemed shocked I said yes. I took a guess that he was a geek and probably a gamer. That made it less surprising that he seemed to not know how to act around "girls". Or wear a decent wardrobe because damn something went wrong in his outfit. Plus he was really pale like he shunned sunlight which did not help. Yet somehow he was still sexy. Weird.

We went to a small café nearby and sat down. Poor Matt looked like he was going to faint. A waiter came up to us and asked what we wanted in a hyper tone. I wondered if he was taking advantage of the employee discount on coffee or just naturally acted high. We ordered our drinks: black coffee for both of us. There was an awkward silence as neither of us knew what to do that was mercifully interrupted by the waiter bringing out drinks. That's when Matt began asking "date questions". Oh jeez here we go. How honest do I want to be?

The truth is that I like sex a lot. A lot. But I do like relationships too they just end up… bad. I always fuck up somehow (seriously it has never once been the other guy's fault) and then there is an epic fight then we go separate ways. However, I do like the part where the relationship is good and do want to have–possibly– a permanent one (it doesn't hurt that I think sex while in a relationship is better for some odd reason). Matt, even though I don't know him yet, seems to be worth a shot. There are two huge problems though: he might not be gay or Bi and oh yeah HE THINKS I'M A GIRL! Shit I ruined this already. Maybe if I get him to like me as a girl though I might stand a chance… maybe.

"So what do you do for a living?" he asked in a nervous rush. I'm not going to lie about anything else. I decided to answer his questions.

"I'm a detective" I said keeping up with the girly voice. "I'm really in it for the fieldwork 'cause getting the chance to shoot some assholes and not get arrested is fun." I sipped my coffee waiting for his reply. He seemed spaced out so I prompted him "what about you?" I can't wait to see how he responds to that one.

I'm still working on Second to None have no fear! This is what I've been doing when I hit a dry patch. I'm posting what I have done now because my friend on Deviantart wanted to read it.