Paperwork

When Sasuke woke, it was raining.

It was a heavy rain. The sort that was only appropriate for a funeral, and when he opened the curtains, the shadows of water against glass crawled over his skin like thousands of living things. Worms rolling down his face, down his arms and his naked skin, everything a parody of itself. Utterly poetic and disgusting to him, and so he shut them with a snap, turning back around.

The room was a parody of homeliness. King sized bed, standard white comforter, brown electric blanket, white sheets, more pillows than necessary. Standard off-white lamp built into the wall sitting above the bedside table. Standard chair, too hard to be comfortable in, in the corner. Standard oak desk with large computer chair. High definition television in the standard chest of drawers. Next to it, a fold out chair where luggage was meant to sit. A few feet away, a closet with a full sized mirror over the doors. Break for the bathroom, with tiny bottles of shampoo and conditioner. Never enough towels. A hairdryer that never gets your hair completely dry. A shower you only realize you don't know how to work until you're completely nude. Everything is a parody of itself. A joke retold badly.

Naruto was still in bed.

They had a plane leaving in an hour.

Sasuke took his suitcase into the bathroom and didn't bother locking the door behind him. Forced the shower to life after fucking with every knob and brushed his teeth while he waited for the water to heat up. There was a trail of red bruises that wrapped around his throat like a necklace. Another series that started at his collar that were darker, more of a purple, and one of them even had a little dried blood. By his navel, the hickeys were nearly black. He took three Tylenol for the soreness and stayed in the shower longer than he had time to spare. A few minutes after he stepped out, he canceled their tickets and rescheduled it for the red eye flight. Naruto wouldn't care. And even if he did, it was his fault for not getting up.

He knotted his tie tightly and went to the lobby with a few cups of coffee. The people who were checking in always skittered in, covered in rain, trying to laugh off how embarrassed they really were. As if it really mattered, but it didn't. Nobody cares. Not in a hotel, not when everything is that fake. Today, they would mess around on bureau dime, tomorrow, it was back to work. Back to dead bodies, back to broken families, back to communities shaken up because they've never dealt with anything like this before. Almost everywhere they went, it was something they'd never seen anything like before. But today, it would be desk work. Writing reports, condolences to families, signing off on things, releasing the reports to the local police.

It didn't matter.

Sasuke carried the cups back up to their room, one taken with so much cream and sugar it couldn't be classified as coffee anymore, and one taken black. Naruto was stirring when he returned, still clutching fiercely at a pillow, and Sasuke prodded him sharply in the temple. "Get up, idiot." Naruto let out a whine, clapping a hand over the spot Sasuke had poked and rolling onto his stomach. "Shut up, 'suke, it's too early."

He gritted his teeth, dropping Naruto's coffee in the trash and putting his own down on the desk where their laptop cases lay. Sasuke's was black leather, made completely for durability so he would never have to buy another one. Naruto purchased his on one of their first cases, a series of homicides in Tennessee, apparently the only place in the country where buying day-glow orange anything didn't cost more than buying standard black or white. He opened the curtains again, warily, more to let in light despite the rain being visually distracting in ways no person without his visual deficiencies could ever comprehend.

He booted up his computer, and as usual, it attempted to tell him all sorts of things he didn't already know. Weather: 60% chance of rain. Really, only sixty? Temperature: Mid to low 40's. Current location: Seattle. Impressive, but no cigar. They'd been in Seattle last week, and were now in Eminence, Missouri. Population: 548. The town had seen a series of spree killings that the Behavioral Analysis Unit had shuffled onto Naruto and Sasuke in Violent Crimes. Naruto had gotten them in trouble with the men on the sixth floor so many times that they always got the shittiest assignments, the stuff that was going to end up messy and might get one or both of them killed. Granted, it wasn't as dangerous as working organized crime or hate crime, but nonetheless, the agents who investigated murders like this had a tendency to end up shot. Like Naruto. Or dead. Like Sasuke's last three partners.

"Ugh, baby, close the blinds."

"I'm not your baby, get out of bed. We already missed our flight back to Washington."

"So why should I have to get out of bed."

"Because you have to write your report."

"Goddamnitttt." Naruto rolled so that half of the joints in his back popped and sat up, rubbing his eyes, and Sasuke watched him openly. He was decent looking in the face. Too many scars, but regardless. From the neck down, he was ripped. Six pack, a rather elaborate tattoo on his stomach, everything toned to reflect the way he worked out every morning. Considering he subsisted on a diet almost purely of sodium, it was even more impressive. Sasuke returned to his computer screen after a minute or so, pulling up a word processor to type out his formal release to the local law enforcement, who had done nothing but get in their way for the entire case.

"... guh, what time is it?"

"Ten forty-eight."

"Wanna do it a few more times."

"No."

"Totally didn't expect that one. Why don't you surprise me more by taking your coffee black and tossing mine in the-- GODDAMNIT SASUKE, REALLY."

"Hn."

"Frigid bitch."

"Shoe's there."

"What- OW, JESUS."

The only peaceful part of any workday was when Naruto was showering. The idiot didn't sing in the shower, but he did spend a long time in there, probably trying to wash away evidence of sex with Sasuke. Which they had every night they were together on business and most night they weren't, but they weren't together. Though Naruto had been sleeping on his couch for the past few weeks because he got evicted, and by sleeping on his couch, it was more like sleeping in his bed after screwing him six or seven times. But still, they weren't together. Their relationship was perfectly professional. However, the least peaceful part of any workday was when Naruto got out of the shower, because he usually came out in an extremely desiring mood, and Sasuke had never not been the object of desire.

For the past.. four years?

But they weren't together.

And this day was no different. After Naruto got out of the shower, he ruined Sasuke's immaculate suit and fucked him into a short coma that he didn't stir out of until around one in the afternoon. In which he popped a second pill - this time, a much stronger Percocet - took another shower, and got dressed again just in time for Naruto state that he was hungry. This was Naruto's favorite part about any given case, the last meal they had before leaving town for the airport. Every town had the best of something, especially if it was a smaller town, and they'd been recommended to go to some family restaurant and try the steak. Sasuke, who liked to ruin everything by being a vegetarian, ordered a tasteless salad, while Naruto attempted to eat 72 ounces rare in order to get it free.

He did not succeed.

"Jesus, you're stupid. You're going to get sick on the plane."

"Sasukeee."

"Shut up."

So Sasuke was stuck with driving them back to St. Louis. Naruto, typically, loved car trips, especially if they were long and drawn out because he enjoyed talking a lot. Sasuke liked neither of these things, and had a pair of cordless headphones from which he could listen to audiobooks and as long as he occasionally grunted, Naruto would be appeased. Which, in retrospect, was a very girly attribute, and probably his only one. About two hours into the trip, Naruto complained that he was hungry - which Sasuke did not believe that all - and that he needed to use the bathroom. And if it weren't for the fact that Sasuke had drank almost an entire pot of coffee after post-shower sex, they wouldn't have stopped, but they did. And in the middle of some boondocks town at a dirty gas station manned by a guy who probably couldn't read, Naruto apparently felt the need to slam him up into a wall and kiss him like something out of a drama.

Earning him a very solid punch in the face.

They finally escaped out from the rain when they broke I-44, and the remainder of the trip was mostly quiet. Naruto's stomach pains finally stopped long enough for him to sleep, much to Sasuke's agitation as he, himself was extremely exhausted and all the caffeine he'd taken in was already wearing off. But he didn't bother waking him up and making him drive. By the time they got to St. Louis, Sasuke was regretting changing it to a midnight flight, because it somehow left them with six hours to spare and he immediately pointed out - as a Cheshire grin grew on Naruto's face - that he was too sore to have sex again and that they still had reports to write. So they checked in their luggage and had their tickets printed from a kiosk, bought some coffee at the best airport coffeehouse in the terminal and finished up the bureaucratic bullshit they had to keep up with if they wanted their jobs.

Which they apparently did.

Naruto eventually found them an empty meeting room to make out in, and despite it being a complete risk to the same jobs they filled out the paperwork for, they did. Just like they always did, despite Not Being Together. And Naruto was perfectly content with just making out with him, like they were still teenagers, even though they were long past that stage of their lives. (Despite Naruto not appearing to mature mentally much farther than 16, and Sasuke having the mental capacity of a 65 year old.) This went on for maybe 45 minutes, mostly kissing and a lot of Naruto trying to suck his throat (which Sasuke disallowed) and teasing him about being a frigid bitch (which Sasuke hit him for). Nonetheless, it was nice. The same way Naruto had thought the morning's rain had been nice. It slowed everything down.

Dinner was Panda Express for Naruto, one of those stupid veggie-wrap things for Sasuke. How the guy managed to stay in decent shape eating nothing but rabbit food, Naruto couldn't compute. Though, in retrospect, he probably got protein from sucking Naruto off so much. And it couldn't be emphasized enough; Sasuke did that a lot. Maybe he was just doing it so he didn't blow away when a breeze came by. In the middle of staring off into space, Naruto turned to him and abruptly vocalized this hypothesis, earning him yet another fist to the face, and this one actually made his nose bleed a little. Which Sasuke looked like he may feel sorry for, but that could have just been because his knuckles were sore from hitting him so many times.

At nine, Sasuke fell asleep waiting in the terminal. About ten minutes later, with no one to talk to, Naruto fell asleep along with him, and they would have slept straight through the boarding if a stewardess hadn't been kind enough to stir them awake. Apparently the other passengers weren't kind enough to be bothered with it, something that had vastly irritated Naruto, but Sasuke hadn't really cared. The plane was sparsely filled; only about half the seats were taken and no one looked under 16, let alone the screaming-infant type. The take off, uneventful. They'd flown so many times that they could recite the captain's directions by heart should they want to, but neither of them did. All the captain really had to say was that if they crashed, they were probably going to die a horrible death, only to be identified by dental records.

Naruto fell asleep first. Sasuke fell asleep an hour later, turned away from him and towards the closed window, and at some point or another, Naruto's arm would hook around his waist. The next day, they'd do it all over again. Some people are so deeply in love that it only takes one day to experience every aspect of their relationship.

fin.