Overall A/N on the subject of the fic: The first thing to note is that the chapter titles do not reflect the nature of the story. The story is dealt with in a serious way, but the chapter titles are all very silly. Don't be fooled. Secondly, this is not a completed story. I am posting as I write because as all my teachers and my parents know, I am hopelessly impatient. My mood influences my writing, so if some characterizations are off or waver a bit during the course of the story, it's because I'm down or I'm hyper or I've been writing for 4 hours straight until 3 in the morning with nothing to sustain me but a can of Sprite and a roll of Sweet Tarts. (This has been known to happen, trust me. Go read my story Insanity @ 3 AM' and you will see the result of these combined factors.) I'll do some major polishing once this fic has run its course, I'm sure.
Further up and further in,
-Sarah, aka Raven

Let the fic begin.

(The boring essentials: Feel free to ignore this if you know the drill....
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the Lord of the Rings, in any of their various incarnations. Warner Bros., JK Rowling, etc, own HP. New Line, the Tolkien estate, etc, own LotR. I'm not making any money off my fics, or else I would probably be living in New Zealand right now (chatting with Peter Jackson, were all my dreams to come true...), and please do not sue me, because I just spent my last 10 bucks on the premier issue of Starlog: Fantasy Worlds. (Can you guess why? Half the articles are on HP, the other half on LotR... BIG DUH)
Feedback: is a thing almost more acceptable than chocolate. (Almost.)
Please no archiving without my consent.)

Chpt. 1 A/N: Yes, it really will be a crossover someday. Kindly wait for my tired fingers to catch up with my racing thoughts and then you will be presented with Chapter Two, which, I hope, will be more interesting. :) Chpt. 1 is basically just getting caught up on the overall HP situation w/ Voldie and such.

------------
Chapter One: Eye of N.E.W.T.
------------

The Road goes ever on and on
Out from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
Let others follow it who can!
Let them a journey new begin,
But I at last with weary feet
Will turn towards the lighted inn,
My evening-rest and sleep to meet.
-----------

Ungh. Don't talk to me. I'm trying to... awwhhhn.... to... to... memorize...

Harry shook his head. He never found out what Ron was trying to memorize, because he yawned and fell asleep in the middle of his sentence. As Harry closed his fifteenth book on the advancement of magic in the 20th century, Ron's head drooped forward onto the library table and the flame-haired Weasley boy snorted slightly and muttered something nasty, apparently to Quidditch referee that only he could see.

Harry hated researching papers for Professor Binns, their History of Magic teacher, because the only sort of thing Binns would accept was something as dry and long-winded as the professor's own lectures. Harry added another sentence or two to his third roll of parchment on the subject -- and those three rolls were only notes and outlines; he hadn't even started the paper yet, though it was due tomorrow. He looked enviously across the table at Hermione's tidy stacks of papers and books, and at one paper in particular -- her finished essay, neatly signed and ready to turn in.

He was just wondering if he dared take a quick peek at it to help him along when Hermione herself came walking back to the table with her arms full of books.

Harry sighed and looked out the window instead. It was a gorgeous day outside -- sun shining, cool breeze blowing... the giant squid in the lake raised one tentacle out of the water and waved it enticingly, as if boasting to all the hot and miserable students studying for their finals that it got to go in the lake and they didn't. Harry scowled at it.

It was his seventh year. Voldemort had been defeated end of last term, and now that all the trouble was over, everything was so incredibly boring. With his greatest enemy gone, there seemed nothing left to do. Hogwarts was still much better than the Dursleys' house, but then, he didn't have to stay at the Dursleys' any more since Sirius had been cleared of all charges and had moved back into his old house. Harry stayed at his place for the summers now, and even went over for Christmas sometimes. (At least, he had last year -- which had turned out to be disastrous, but Harry didn't care.) Sirius had even told him that he was welcome to stay there for a while once he graduated, while he looked for somewhere of his own.

Ron's dad, Arthur Weasley, had finally been promoted to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and the Weasley family income had been greatly increased. Ron never groused about Harry's small family fortune any more, since he had one of his own now. Fred and George had started a successful and currently booming business in magic tricks and gags, but usually spent most of the money they made inventing new and increasingly large and sometimes dangerous pranks. But since it was what they'd always wanted to do, they didn't mind the lack of real profit.

Eloise Midgen's acne had miraculously cleared up in their fifth year, and though her nose was still off-center, she and Ron had been steadily dating for two years.

As far as he knew, Hermione still kept in close contact with Viktor Krum. Krum had already graduated Durmstrang, and Harry was pretty sure Hermione was planning on meeting up with him once she had graduated also. As for Harry, he was still right on Cho Chang's tail. He hadn't exactly asked her out yet or anything, but really, he was planning to. He just couldn't help but think about Cedric every time he saw her, and that in itself was rather off-putting, not to mention the fact that he went extremely red and had to duck or look away whenever she looked at him.

Remus Lupin was now Professor Lupin once more, as he took up the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor last year. All the parents had agreed to it, despite the whole werewolf business, since he had rescued quite a few Ministry of Magic law enforcement agents two years ago and had actually received a medal and commendation from the Minister himself. (Fudge still held his top-ranking position, but thankfully he was a changed man -- the experiences of the past three years had been too much for his ego. He was much kinder, more open-minded, and humbler than he used to be.) Lupin himself had seemed completely shocked that anyone cared at all.

Malfoy was just a gnat in Harry's ear anymore. Usually Harry ignored him completely, since his father was in jail and Draco himself was being closely watched all the time by the Ministry. One slip-up and he'd be joining Lucius in Azkaban -- which, thankfully, had normal human guards now. The dementors had flocked to Voldemort's side in the battle, but they had all been destroyed or banished in the end.

Dumbledore was still Headmaster; all the teachers held their previous teaching positions, none of them had been hurt (even Snape); the castle hadn't changed very much for all the fighting and other oddnesses that had been going on for several years now; basically, everything was the same, only there wasn't any great evil that needed defeating. Just school. And these awful N.E.W.T.s that he had to pass to graduate. Harry loathed tests with a passion, but these were worse than any he'd ever had. There was apparently a reason they were called Nastily Exhausting.'

Harry turned back to his paper, looked at his last couple of notes, and groaned. He leaned forward and hit his forehead on the table a couple of times, startling Hermione out of the depths of Advanced Bacteria and Fungi for the Knowledgable Student of Herb-Lore, and making Ron grunt and twitch. (He'd stayed up half the night studying for Potions and had been feeling somewhat blurry all day, hence why he had finally given in to sleep.)

What is it? asked Hermione. Something not making sense? I can probably help you...

groaned Harry, still resting his forehead on his sheet of notes. Hermione's help' was almost never helpful, just more bewildering. I hate tests, that's all.

Oh, come on, retorted Hermione. They're only to help you later in life, not kill you while you're young. You have to learn something, don't you?

No. I don't want to learn anything at all. I want to be happy and stupid for the rest of my life.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

All right, look here, she said. If you don't do that paper of yours that you've currently got your face in the middle of, I'll start reading this book to you. She brandished Advanced Bacteria and Fungi at him. Harry caught a glimpse of a very large page with barely discernible, minuscule type on it, and decided he'd rather read about goblin peace treaties than hear several pages of big words about mold.

He lifted his head, sighing again, and gave Ron a light shove. He woke up spluttering.

Twelve uses of dragon's blood, professor, sir! Uhn... powerful transfiguration aide, especially in the Animagus charm, which is very complicated and... Harry? Wha? Oh. Thought it was the test already, he finished sheepishly, ears going extremely red.

Harry snorted, and picked up The Advancement of Magic in the 20th Century, Volume 16.

-----------

It was only two more weeks until Christmas break, which Harry was looking forward to immensely. Sirius had hinted that he might be paying a visit to the castle at Christmas rather than having Harry over, so Harry had put his name down on the list of people staying for the holidays (a list which was, he had noticed as he scrawled his signature, very short). He hoped he hadn't misjudged. Ron and Hermione put their names down, too, since they had nothing better to do.

Three days passed and Harry hardly left the library. He felt like he was turning into Hermione, and it was vaguely horrifying. Even Ron could be found scanning through piles of books in his free time, trying desperately to master Transfiguration, which he was struggling with. Allowing his pride and ego to take control, he refused all help from Hermione and sat squinting at large books with very small type all day.

Their last class before Christmas break was Defense Against the Dark Arts. Professor Lupin remained the school's favorite teacher, not least because he was a werewolf. (Besides the fact that he gave far less homework than the other teachers.) As a matter of fact, Lupin seemed to ignore what he was when he taught, and had spent a week solely on the subject of werewolves; how to discern one from a normal wolf, how to defend yourself, etc. Not surprisingly, it was the most detailed of his lessons, because he just knew a lot of it naturally. (In a broader view of the world, I may add that several of his lectures that week were later recorded in a tome of magical essays, and were regarded as some of the most controversial speeches on werewolves in the history of the magical community. Lupin delved, though not extremely deeply, into what it was like to be a werewolf, and advocated, in most cases, to capture rather than kill the wolf, if it was at all possible; because, he reminded everyone strongly, a werewolf on the night of a full moon might be your physician, local store attendant, or even best friend for the other 29 days out of the month.)

Harry shook Ron awake for the third time that day and pointed to the door of the library. Ron yawned gapingly and they stumbled blearily out into the halls. It was still fifteen minutes until class started, but their first stop was the second floor boys' bathroom.

After shocking themselves awake by splashing their faces with icy water they finally managed to make their way to the Defense classroom -- which they found to be empty, except for Professor Lupin and Hermione standing by the desk. Lupin smiled when they entered, taking in their wet bangs and faces and guessing what had kept them.

he said, in that impeccably calm voice they'd all become accustomed to. Decided to join the class after all? Harry and Ron, out onto the grounds, if you will. Hermione's been waiting for you. We're having a practical lesson again today -- I know you enjoy those, so off with you. I'll be there momentarily.

Harry nodded, suppressing a yawn. Hermione came over, beaming in an annoying sort of cheerful way.

Harry! Have you been in the library all night? I couldn't find you in the common room last night and with Ancient Runes along with everything else I didn't have any free time to check the library, but I figured that's where you'd be...

Uhn. Fell asleep at the table. Ron woke up around midnight, so we were back really late. I'm surprised Filch didn't catch us.

Oh, well. I finished my Potions essay, finally --

You just have to remind me, don't you? Ron said, wincing.

Well, if you'd get a decent night's sleep sometime maybe you could actually stay awake in the day and pay attention to class --

Ron threw up his hands in exasperation and said, There's no such thing a decent night's sleep around here, Hermione! I stay up studying at night so I'll understand class the next day even thought I'm not awake for the class next day! It's impossible, I tell you!

Hermione sighed and gave up.

Harry broke in with a hurried, What d'you suppose we'll be against today? Lupin's gone over just about every Dark creature there is.

Hermione shrugged and Ron looked darkly at the front doors that they were now nearing. I've been flipping through Fantastic Beasts about that. There's only a few things left -- the ones that aren't safe to have near any students, like dragons and basilisks and chimaeras.

Harry thought he ought to be intimidated or something by the looming front doors in this case, but really, having just defeated the forces of the Dark Lord, another dragon didn't seem like too much trouble.

They were just about to push open the heavy front doors when Professor Lupin, walking briskly down the halls, caught up with them. Smiling, he opened the door for them and motioned that they go out first.

It's been a very pleasant week, hasn't it? he asked politely as they walked across the grass to where the rest of the class, looking extremely puzzled, was standing around a few hundred yards from Hagrid's hut. Warm for winter.

I'm sure it has, Harry said bitterly. You'll have to tell me about it. I haven't been outside for six days.

Mm. Tests. Somehow I feel satisfied, in a guilty way, to be giving tests instead of having to take them... for one thing I don't have to worry about keeping Peter off my back. He always wanted to copy my answers. Excuse me, would you? I have to go talk to Hagrid. Be right back.

Lupin hurried off again. Harry and Ron exchanged glances and shrugged. All three of them went and stood by their classmates, waiting curiously for their lesson.

Two minutes later, Lupin and Hagrid came back from Hagrid's cabin. Hagrid was leading Fang and appeared to be completely prepared for a long trip or something of the sort, what with his moleskin overcoat on and his tattered pink umbrella poking out of one overlarge pocket.

Lupin was looking quite cheerful as he came and stood in front of the class.

All here? Good. Now, what we'll be studying today is called an Acromantula. Can anyone tell me what that is? Ron?

Hermione, Harry, and several others had put their hands in the air at the question, but Ron was one of the few who didn't. By his pasty white face and the cold sweat breaking out on his forehead, though, it was quite obvious that he knew what an Acromantula was.

It's a... it's a... a... spider, choked Ron, apparently having lost his voice. Big spider. It can talk, and -- he stopped and tried to hide a shudder.

Quite right, said Lupin, still perfectly cheerful. No worries, Hagrid is good friends with the one we're about to meet. It won't hurt any of you if you're with him, so don't wander off. We've made the arrangements already. We'll be meeting in a clearing near the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Follow Hagrid and me, please.

He's mad, muttered Ron, wiping his forehead with his sleeve.

No, he's just a good teacher. Watch where you're going! -- oh. Hermione barely kept from laughing when Ron tripped over a tree root in his preoccupation with spiders.

This particular Acromantula's name is Aragog. Lupin was calling loudly and walking backwards so everyone could see and hear him. Treat him with respect, please. One trait of an Acromantula is their inability to be trained or tamed in any way. I'm afraid it may not be a very good idea to get this one angry. Here we are!

He turned around again at a tap on the shoulder from Hagrid. They were at the edge of the clearing. Ron's steps faltered as they neared it.

Harry tugged Ron's sleeve to make him keep going. Finally he and Hermione practically had to drag Ron into the clearing, but once they had, it proved to be a very interesting lesson.

Aragog was indeed there and thankfully either never noticed or didn't recognize Harry or Ron. He seemed only slightly grudging that he wasn't allowed to eat any of the students, but Hagrid told him very firmly that Dumbledore wouldn't like it whenever the spider turned a few of his blind eyes on one of the wary Gryffindors. (Lupin explained that even thought he was blind he could sense the exact location of everyone present with a sort of echolocation. Ron didn't seem too happy about that.)

Ron looked about to faint when Hagrid finally bid Aragog farewell and they all left the woods. Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas, and the other Gryffindor boys were beside themselves -- they chattered on and on about Aragog's gigantuan mandibles and multiple milky eyes and the way they could just tell he was going to try and leap out at them at any moment on his huge spindly legs. Ron gave them a withering glare as they passed on their way back to the castle.

Lupin led them into the castle and stopped right inside the doors. He called everyone's attention and said, If my schedule's right, which in all this Christmas confusion it may not be, I believe this was your last class for this term? Twenty or more heads nodded. Well, then. No need to go back to the classroom, as I saw most of you had forgotten your things anyway -- several faces went red here --so go where you will. You're dismissed.

People scattered in various directions, only a few of them going towards the Defense classroom for their things. Mostly they went towards either the Gryffindor tower or the library. Harry, Ron, and Hermione, however, stayed with Lupin and just followed him.

Have you heard from Sirius lately? Harry asked as they walked back towards the Defense classroom.

I have, said Lupin, trying to keep the laughter from his tone and failing.

Harry prompted.

Remus almost laughed but managed to hold it back in time. Composing himself, he said, He's coming to stay here for Christmas -- for old time's sake,' he said, and I quote. You might want to put a few extra locking charms on your trunks before he arrives. His version of nostalgia is a bit... different than everyone else's.

Harry snorted. Ron looked vaguely worried, probably because he lived with Fred and George and knew precisely what Lupin was talking about. Hermione smiled.

I suppose you still have some work left to do... Harry groaned at Lupin's words. Lupin smiled thinly. Better be off, then. I've got papers to grade -- Ravenclaw fifth years. If there are any students in this castle whose verbal skills were influenced by Professor Binns, the Ravenclaws would be them. Try and take comfort in the fact that I haven't actually been outside for more than two hours over the past week either, Harry. I'll see you tomorrow.

He waved them off down the corridor and went into his classroom, running a hand through his gray-flecked hair. Harry sighed yet again and turned to the others. What now? I don't think I can stand another minute of studying today. I'll go crazy.

Hermione opened her mouth to protest, then hesitated, as if a growing part of her agreed with him.

And I need to recover, added Ron quickly. Dinner should be soon.

Hermione gave in and laughed. They walked towards the Great Hall, feeling something of a burden lifted as they willingly left their books and papers behind them.

-------

Another week passed and Harry paced himself on schoolwork. A cold front had come in the day after their last Defense class, and there had been a fair amount of snow since then. Seamus, Dean, Harry, Ron and Neville were currently having a military-style snowball fight with several seventh-year Huffepuffs.

As Harry and Neville ducked and ran a few yards to the cover of the next snowbank (the ducking part didn't help Neville, who got hit in the head by a snowball anyway -- a lot of it slid down the back of his coat and he yelped), Harry heard a loud cry from Ron behind him. The words were lost in the wind, but Harry looked up just in time to see a huge black dog bounding through the snow straight towards him. He shouted and tried to throw himself out of the way, but the dog rammed straight into his shoulder, reminiscent of the time in Harry's third year when this same dog -- or rather, his godfather, Sirius Black -- had bowled him over in his enthusiasm to get at Peter Pettigrew, also known as Wormtail.

The dog rolled to a stop behind Harry; it turned into a man with a small pop, and before Harry could do anything Sirius had yanked back the hood of Harry's winter cloak, grabbed a handful of snow, stuffed it in the hood, and pulled the hood right back over Harry's head and face. Sirius howled with laughter as Harry tried to struggle to his feet and get the snow out of his hair at the same time.

Ron came plowing towards them through the snow just as all the other Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs rushed past in a jumbled attempt to pelt Neville and Justin Finch-Fletchly, a Hufflepuff, with as many snowballs as they could get their hands on. Apparently Neville and Justin had been designated the first-priority targets and everyone else had given up their sides to chase them.

Sirius choked to a stop in his laughter when Harry scooped up a snowball and threw it square in his face. Ron finally reached them as Sirius was coughing and wiping slush out of his eyes.

Sirius stood up and grinned at the two of them. Miss me? he said mischievously. His personality had taken a huge swing back towards the way he used to be before Azkaban because of the Dark Lord's downfall (Sirius was always grimly proud to say, afterwards, that he had had a personal hand in the execution of Wormtail, although Harry tried to avoid him when he got himself into that mindset. It brought out the deeply buried madness that had been left over in him after the war and several more close encounters and long stays with dementors; and the deadened aspect of his dark eyes became more pronounced, which was always unsettling).

Harry grinned back and shook his hand, as if between co-conspirators (and indeed, Sirius' neighbors dreaded the summers when Harry would come over, because of the stunts they were capable of pulling off when they worked together).

Hermione burst out of the front doors of the castle at that moment, hardly dressed for walking in snow, in only her regular robes and a light cloak. She shivered and crossed her arms in the strong wind, but managed to fight her way over to them.

she chattered. Great to s-see you! I s-saw you f-fly in -- I was b-by the w-window. H-how h-have you b-been?

Sirius shook his head and took off one of his two heavy cloaks and put it over Hermione's shoulders. She smiled appreciatively, though her teeth kept chattering.

Let's get inside first, said Sirius over the wind. I want to check on old Remus, too. How's he doing? Snape still making the potion for him?

They trudged through the snow up to the front doors, which clanged shut behind them, making Hermione jump.

He's fine, and yes, said Harry, taking off his own heavy cloak in the sudden heat of the halls. Either they had had a central heating system installed or the house-elves were really getting busy with the fireplaces and Heating Charms, because the inside of the castle was sweltering this year, unlike previous years when it had been chilly and drafty in winter. I've heard Snape griping about having to make it fresh every month and how complicated it is and stuff...

Sirius snorted. Sounds like him.

Going to ignore me all day?

Sirius jumped and spun around. There was Lupin, standing next to the front doors with his arms crossed, smiling as usual. Sirius laughed, and he and Lupin embraced briefly.

Harry said Snape's being unusually vindictive this year, said Sirius, as they all walked in comfortable company towards Gryffindor tower. Lupin nodded, grimacing. How goes it with the Registry?

Lupin shrugged, suddenly quiet. Fairly well.

Sirius smile flickered, then returned. He turned his attention to Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who had been silent until then. How's the last year going for you three? Going to pass the N.E.W.T.s with flying colors, I expect.

Ungh. Don't talk about tests. I'm sick of tests, muttered Ron, and Harry nodded vigorously. Hermione frowned slightly and gave the two boys a brief glare. Sirius snorted.

They came up to the portrait of the Fat Lady and Harry absentmindedly said the password (Artemis Fido).

The castle's unusually full for Christmas break, Sirius commented dryly as they tried to force their way through the crowded common room to the far corner.

The train leaves tomorrow, said Hermione.

They found an empty table and sat around it; they talked for a while and did the usual catching-up on each other's business. Eventually Lupin left, saying he needed to get some sleep. Harry glanced quickly out the window and saw that the moon was nearing full, and couldn't blame the professor.

They talked for a while longer, until it seemed that they had run out of things to talk about. After a long while of debating, Harry, Ron, and Hermione got up and went up their respective staircases to the dorms, while Sirius left the tower for the guest rooms across the castle.

Gonna be a weird Christmas, Ron muttered groggily from behind his curtains several minutes later, when they were both lying in their beds trying to go to sleep.

murmured Harry, half-way gone already.

No bad guys, Ron went on, voice fading. Don't have to worry about jinxed brooms or anything... gotta worry bout maroon sweaters, though.... He fell asleep mid-sentence again, and shortly started snoring lightly.

Harry didn't hear his last words, though, because he had gone to sleep on the words bad guys.'
--------