Chapter specific warnings: Non-con, swearing, mostly off screen violence.

Disclaimer: Don't own much of anything, and definitely not the characters and I'm most definitely not making any profit on this story. (So consider this whole story disclaimed, because I won't be repeating this every chapter.)

One day I had the strange idea that I wanted to write a Supernatural/Naruto crossover. Some sort of funny Dean meets ninja thing. And it really was a very strange idea since I'd never watched Supernatural and very little Naruto. But inspiration is inspiration, so I went for it anyway. That story never did get written, but I did write this. And when the first try at funny didn't work, I tried again. The result wasn't funny either (that one will show up towards the end of the story), but it sure was fun to write. Before I knew it I had a whole bunch of ficlets, written in a completely random order and only loosely connected to each other.

I'm posting them all here, but I'm trying to figure out some sort of chronological order for them and maybe edit them a bit, so that the end result might almost be a coherent story. I'm sure the ficlets/chapters will wary quite a bit in length, style, tone, quality and so forth.

There are most likely going to be completely OoC moments, there won't be much if any action and the plot might border on the completely ridiculous. There will also be some rather heavy handed hints of slash and tiny hints of polyamory, but the most any characters really do is hug. I think you can close your eyes, slap your hands over your eyes and pretend really hard that they're just good friends. That should work. Mostly. But then I see slash even in places where there isn't any, so I'm not the best judge of that.

There's probably going to be some spoilers, but I'm not all that sure for what or where. I did watch some Supernatural before I posted this, but that hardly makes me an expert (I thought I might as well, since I already wrote about it). But this whole story in its entirety is supposed to take place before and during the first season of Supernatural, as for where to place it in Naruto I have no idea, but there are most likely vague spoilers for most of the series. I'm trying to not contradict canon for either series, but I'm hardly an expert (hah, I know next to nothing) so if I do, just… I don't know, pretend I didn't? Consider it slightly AU?

Nothing At All Happens,

and Dean meets a ninja

Dean Winchester never talked all that much about his life. For one thing, most people wouldn't have believed him anyway and those who did usually didn't belong to the type that believed in the whole "sharing is caring" thing. Dean sure didn't. That's the way most hunters lived and Dean had been one his whole life. He'd never known how to be anything else.

And that made the whole thing worse really. He hunted monsters as a way of life. The whole thing was just embarrassing, he damn well knew how to take care of himself.

No. Dean didn't talk about his life much, because besides his dad and his brother there'd never been anyone to talk to anyway and he'd just never been raised that way (and he had to wonder where Sammy got it from). This thing was special though. It was something Dean did not talk about. Ever. In fact he didn't even think about it. As far as he was concerned it never happened.

It was embarrassing and if Dean's thoughts somehow accidentally strayed toward the thing, which they didn't because it never happened, but if they did then he told himself that that was the reason he'd never mentioned the thing. Because it was god damned embarrassing. And no one needed to know.

It had all happened not too long after Sammy's fight with their dad. Because everything had been fucked up after that. It hadn't even been on a hunt, because that would have made it at least understandable. But no, it had all happened because Dean had gone out for a few drinks, hustle some money, pick up some girl, that sort of thing. And of course that was no reason to let down his guard, which he hadn't. Because Dean wasn't stupid. Trust no one, that's how a hunter survives.

Maybe part of the problem was that he was so used to looking out for the supernatural that he forgot to be afraid of the things that weren't. Oh, he'd been in enough bar brawls and such in his time to know that something completely mundane could hurt him just as well as something supernatural. But it wasn't the same thing. After seeing the things he had, some regular guy just didn't feel that threatening.

He never found out exactly what happened. Maybe someone slipped something into his drink, because it was all kind of fuzzy. One way or the other though, Dean had found himself unconscious, well more like he'd found himself waking up from unconsciousness, but still.

Dean had blinked and squinted and groaned and tried to move just to find out that he wasn't going anywhere, because he was bound hand and foot and whoever had done it knew damn well what they'd been doing. No, Dean was lying sideways on an ugly comforter on a lumpy motel bed (there was no way Dean didn't recognise a motel room when he saw one) and he was going exactly nowhere.

He couldn't see who was in the room with him. If it wasn't for the sound of someone breathing he could as well have been alone. Tied up, helpless on a bed. And he was sure he could turn around if he tried hard enough.

"What the fuck do you want?" He tried to spit out angrily, but it came out too slurred to sound right. It'd do though.

He felt the bed dip under another person's weight and struggled to turn around, to move, to do something. Anything.

A knife blade pressed against Dean's throat and he stopped moving. Someone chuckled behind him. It sounded male and far too close. He felt a hand pull at his hair, until his head tilted backwards leaving his throat completely exposed.

He still couldn't see the bastard.

After a moment the knife moved away from his throat. Dean did his best to get his fuzzy brain to cooperate and think of a way to get him the fuck out of there.

He heard the sound of something being ripped and at first he didn't realise at all what it was. But soon enough it was only too obvious that the bastard was using the knife to cut away his shirt.

Then the hand left his hair. Hands pulled away the tattered remains of his shirt. He flinched as they touched his bare skin. He swore, but his tongue didn't move like it should.

The man was breathing heavily and the sound seemed to drown out every other noise.

The hands moved lower. Grasped his jeans and Dean cursed and tried to fucking well kick him, but it didn't quite work. Because he was fucking helpless.

And that damned ripping noise again as the fabric of his jeans tore under the knife. Dean found himself wishing he'd worn boxers and it was such a stupidly useless thought that for a moment he felt like laughing.

He trashed and cursed and it all amounted to nothing as the hands seemed to be everywhere. And why the fuck didn't he say anything. Only breathing, panting and Dean's slurred curses.

There was a swish of quiet movement and then suddenly the hands were gone and everything was completely silent.

A car drove past outside.

Dean recognised the noise of a body falling to the ground.

He felt the bonds on his wrists give away and less than a heartbeat later his legs were free as well. Dean scrambled out of the bed, stumbling over the tattered remains of his jeans, still clinging to his ankles. He turned around to face whatever was behind him, backing away until he could feel the wall behind his back. And not a moment too soon because his vision was swimming and his legs were shaking and the wall was probably the only thing keeping him up.

He blinked and tried to focus his eyes. A pale, black haired teenager was standing on the other side of the bed, bangs falling into his face. Irrationally all Dean could think at the moment was that the kid looked too damn pretty.

"He's dead," the kid said tonelessly.

Dean blinked. He looked downward and could just see a hand sprawl out from behind the bed, but the bed blocked his view of anything else.

The next thing he knew he was sitting in a heap on the floor, the wall obviously not having been enough to keep him up anymore.

"Alright," Dean mumbled. "Fuck."

The kid was suddenly standing in front of him, dark eyes peering into his. Fuck, he should have been paying more attention. The kid sighed, looking vaguely irritated before flipping open a cell phone that had appeared in his hand. He spoke a few quick words in a language Dean didn't know.

"A… friend is going to bring clothes and transportation," the kid explained. And this time Dean distantly noticed that his speech was slightly accented. The kid would have sounded cute if his inflection hadn't been about as varied as a robot's.

"Thanks," Dean whispered. He was getting kind of cold. He was shivering, wasn't he?

He wasn't sure how much time passed before a blond just as young as the other kid bounced into the room. He wasn't quite as too pretty as the other kid, but made it up by being too energetic.

The blond asked something Dean didn't understand, again. There was a one word answer that must have been either a yes or a no, but there wasn't any hope of figuring it out by that tone.

The blond kid crouched down in front of Dean and he looked up into the most brilliantly blue eyes he'd ever seen. The kid smiled kindly.

"Here." He said offering Dean a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. "You can shower after we get you away from here."

Dean stared at the offered clothing. Shower. Maybe that'd help. He thought he could still feel hands on him.

He noticed that the two kids were occupied with looking at something on the other side of the bed. Dean pulled on the clothes as fast as possible, which wasn't very fast at all under the current circumstances.

"Ah," the blond said. "Good, you're done." And Dean was right the accent did sound cute when there was actual inflections in the tone of voice. "Come on then."

Dean followed the two kids to a car waiting outside, without giving the motel room a single backwards glance. For a moment he hesitated outside the car, instincts flaring up.

Don't get into a car with strangers. He snorted and tried not to laugh.

"You're shaking," the blond kid observed. "We should hurry and get you in a warm shower."

Dean crawled into the backseat of the car.

"I'm driving, bastard," he heard the blond say.

"Fine."

"You don't even know how to drive a car," the blond added as he sat into the drivers seat.

"Neither do you, idiot." The car doors slammed shut.

"Well, I know more than you. I got the car here, didn't I?" The engine started with a few hiccups.

"I'm glad I wasn't here for that," the dark haired kid said dryly as the car started moving.

"Bastard," the blond growled.

And it wasn't really familiar, but it was close enough and Dean felt himself slipping into sleep.

When he finally saw his dad again after that Dean never told him where he'd been for five days. "Out." He just said, when his dad asked. And it was left at that. His dad made his assumptions and Dean never corrected him. It wasn't mentioned again, and why would it have, because it wasn't really that special. It wasn't like his dad hadn't been away doing whatever for three of those five days anyway.

And Sammy wasn't there to ask, 'cause Sammy had left and wasn't coming back.

So nothing had happened. Because Dean Winchester didn't get into trouble he couldn't handle and he sure as heck didn't get rescued by kids that looked maybe fifteen if he was feeling generous. That would have been embarrassing as hell.

Most of all Dean Winchester didn't get afraid, not the mind numbingly terrifying kind of afraid anyway. Because he was Dean Winchester, he was a hunter and he damn well knew how to take care of himself. It was a good thing then that nothing special had happened.

And if he woke up shaking from a nightmare every now and then. Well, Dean had seen a fair share of things that would cause anyone nightmares. He'd ignore them just like he always did.

Well… right. If the storytelling seems a bit choppy and fuzzy on the details, do remember that it's supposed to be from Dean's PoV. He's not in a situation where his observational skills would be at their best; he had been drinking earlier, he's possibly been drugged, he might be suffering from a concussion and at the end there might be shock setting in. (Yes! I can explain any and all inadequacies with "that's how it's supposed to be".)

I'm not completely comfortable posting something that has anything relating to rape in it, which this obviously does. Because I can't possibly understand the emotional repercussions of something like that and I'm left feeling like I might inadvertently be making light of the people who have suffered trough something like that.

If it's not clear from the fic itself, Dean didn't technically speaking get raped (if one assumes that rape by definition means penetration). And the way he's dealt with the whole thing is by basically ignoring it, which I felt fit in with the way Dean deals with most emotional issues. The way I see Dean he would have figured that since he didn't actually get raped (in effect; nothing happened), he has no reason to be upset about it. Also he never saw or heard who or what it was that did this to him, or what happened to him/it. He quite deliberately doesn't look at what he can only assume is a corpse, this might be either because it'll be easier for Dean to forget the whole thing or because he doesn't want to see if it really is a human being, because in a way it'd probably be easier to think it was something supernatural. Not that Dean would be consciously thinking of anything like that at that point.

As for the choice of Naruto characters, I'd think they were kind of recognisable. :) In a way I would have liked having some other characters (because I feel all unoriginal here), but it sort of carried over from that original idea of writing something funny where I wanted someone pretty and the image was just stuck in my head and I thought I might as well go with that since it didn't really matter all that much. Of course that only got me as far as stopping the rape and I didn't want to leave Dean alone in that room with a corpse and I didn't really see any other choice than have Naruto suddenly appear. :P

That's all for now. Do feel free to review.