Feast of the Fallen

Denial.

Elissa's spirit had grown increasingly malicious, and when her temper flared, it was as blistering as molten lead. All she needed was some time alone, time to enjoy nature and all it had to offer, to feel the sun's warmth on her cheeks while she gardened, to hear the soft whinnies of newborn colts in the stable. She just needed a little time to get healthier, to feel normal again.

Distracted by her self-imposed mission, she never noticed Zevran tracking her movements or observing her from atop a high branch. Watching in the shadows, his heart ached as she endeavored to exorcise her demons. Whether she was tearing apart sparring dummies for hours, or taking brisk directionless walks through the orange groves, he followed her undetected.

Alone on the beach, she tried meditating, but found she couldn't clear her mind enough; her thoughts were too scattered and confused. At the end of each day, she was left even more puzzled, more annoyed than she had been before she set out.

Elissa swept up the broken glass, an empty wine bottle she had hurled at the wall while scolding a servant girl. Having just spit out some stale bread onto her plate, a fiery rage powered through Elissa's body and she threw the decanter, barely missing the timid girl's head.

"That stupid girl should have known better!" she shouted. "You can't rely on anyone around here," she said waving her hand dismissively. Why she had reacted so strongly to such a minor inconvenience, Elissa didn't know or care to understand.

Zevran sighed, eyeing his frustrated wife. "You can rely on me, amor," he said tenderly, and then turned his attention to the servant. "Lina, you may go. Take the rest of the evening off, no worries, alright?" Zevran smiled warmly at the young girl and she nodded before fleeing from the dining room.

"You were too easy on her, Zevran. We pay her good coin to do her job properly, but when she slips up, you give her the night off! That makes no sense!" she bellowed as she punched the broom on the floor punctuating her frustration.

Zevran's hands reached out and he began massaging the front of her shoulders. He could feel her muscles tense and then relax as his eyes penetrated her distant stare. "It is of no consequence, that one loaf, and the girl does not deserve your wrath, amor. It was an innocent mistake. Please tell me, tell me what is really bothering you tonight?"

She rolled her shoulders, suddenly sidestepping away from him and Zevran's hands pulled back, empty. Lifting a water goblet with her free hand, she put the glass to her lips and sipped. Zevran noticed the slight tremble of her fingers as she drank, and he frowned deeply, enraged at the entire Grey Warden organization once again.

"I'm fine, really. It's nothing for you to be concerned about." Elissa inhaled sharply and placed the goblet on the table with forced gentleness.

He took the broom from her grasp and finished sweeping up the brown shards strewn about the floor. "I shall have a bath drawn for you, Elissa. And then, maybe you should…rest," he offered, for lack of a better suggestion.

As Zevran waited for a response, she slumped into a chair, feeling tired, boneless. "I'm sorry," she muttered, dropping her chin to her chest. "I…I don't know what came over me. I didn't mean any of it…those things I said. Zevran, I would never-"

"I know." An icy shiver ran down her spine before Zevran dropped the broom and yanked her up to his chest, embracing her tightly.

Unbidden teardrops slid down her cheek, her muscles aching to relax against his warmth. "Why haven't you left such a cruel wife as me, hm?"

"Because, my dove, no one else will have me anymore. Besides, you have ruined me for all other women. Compared to you, they are inferior and useless."

Although his witty compliment made her smile, she still wanted to cry, to fall into his arms and sob for hours. Instead, she straightened and steadied her voice, attempting to remain stoic. "You know, it's always been your humor and charm that comforted me the most. I can't imagine a day without..." At that moment, Zevran learned all he needed to know by looking into her eyes. Stormy and scared, her eyes betrayed her façade, the dread of the unknown creeping into her veins.

His gentle thumb swept away her tears and his arms urged her to move closer to him. A quick prayer for added fortitude chanted through his head, and he whispered against her lips. "I have you, amor. You are always safe with me."

Anger.

She was cross, scornful sometimes, storming about the villa in hysterical rages; she disputed every point, slammed doors, shouted orders, and pleaded for someone to listen to her tirades. And they did listen, with somber eyes and wistful gazes, their fists clenched.

After breakfast, her fits subsided, and Zevran left her alone with Catalina and her family to go for a quick ride on his prized stallion. His riding boots dug into the animal's flanks as Zevran forced the horse to gallop faster, farther away from the villa and the dark cloud threatening to spill over.

When the horse tired, he walked to a twisted yew tree, axe in hand. After launching blow upon violent blow to the trunk, he stopped when the blade finally dulled and went flat. Crumpling to the ground, he panted heavily and rested his elbows on his knees. Before long, his face fell into his hands, his tears streaming, no one near to hear his woeful sobs.

It became a habit, a necessity, and each day he made a futile attempt to obliterate the sounds of her anger and her cries. When he was satisfied he could repress his grief until the next day, he stood up, brushed himself off and headed back to their home.

As she sat on the terrace gazing at the sunset of another day gone by, Zevran stared at her, his eyes and hands always on her, imparting secret strength. And he whispered in her ear, "I adore you, my petulant beauty."

Doubt.

Naturally, death had come to them over the years. It wasn't something that happened only to someone else, somewhere else. But that was the death of an old man or a sick child, the deaths of a warrior and his ranks in battle, the death of a friend, a King, all tragic, yet expected.

Nothing was certain in her life, nothing but death, and him. She had lived a full life, loving Zevran and Catalina with every breath she took, and they had been exceedingly happy those many years.

Proudly, she watched Catalina transform into a beautiful woman, a rogue, a wife and mother. In time, two grandchildren cuddled with Elissa by firelight and sat with her at evening meals, their high-pitched laughter echoing throughout the villa as Zevran told stories, long forgotten tales of beauty and bravery, and his embellished storytelling always brought a smile to her lips.

As they settled into their chambers for the night, Elissa kept her eyes on Zevran, waiting for a perfect moment that she knew would never come. He would likely disagree, as he always had when they discussed her Calling. It would be a terrible conversation, one fraught with insecurity, but she was compelled to try again.

As he pulled the silk sheet over their bodies, she smoothed her hand across his cheek and his palm covered her hand gently. "You have something you wish to discuss, do you not?"

"Will you promise to hear me out before you respond?"

Zevran's eyes widened with curiosity. "Hm. I don't like the sound of this, but go on."

With fingers entwined, their hands came to rest on the bed, his grasp tighter than usual. "I once told you that I wouldn't let you take the journey with me, to the Deep Roads. I…I'm selfish, I know, because I want you with me, but…Catalina and her family need you now. I've done many things in my life that I regret, things I cannot change, but I'm not sure I can leave our daughter alone when it is within my power to keep you here to protect her. What kind of mother would abandon their child to face the troubles of life alone?"

In some deep recess of his mind, he knew this dilemma would weigh on her heart as her Calling drew near, but he didn't think she would press the issue and his response was casual and matter-of-fact. "Elissa, she is not a child. She is a grown woman who makes her own decisions now. She has a family, a husband to see after her needs, and sons to care for her as she grows old. She will never be alone."

"I brought her into this world, Zevran. Our blood courses through her veins. I can't…we can't just…How can we disappear from her life forever?"

Zevran swept her up into his arms, holding her so forcefully she groaned. "Amor, you must know that while our physical bodies may not be here, everything we have taught her and felt for her will be in her heart. From her birth to the first time she scraped her knee and bled, to this very moment, and all things in between, we were there, guiding her and loving her."

"Mm." Zevran felt her soft purr of agreement rumble in her chest. "She is a wonder, isn't she? And we were very responsible parents, good parents."

The slight optimistic tone in her voice allowed Zevran some peace of mind. "We were the best parents. She is strong and resilient. She is like you, amor."

Elissa pushed him back and smiled coyly. "When did you get so old and wise, Zevran?"

"Old! What old man can do this?" He grabbed her shoulders and pressed her to the bed, spreading her thighs with his knees without warning.

"Holy Maker, Zevran!" she hissed, a feral need tingling in the pit of her stomach.

Overtures of desire spilled from his lips in a deep, husky voice, and she moaned as he positioned himself over her. "No more talk. I know you want me, minx. I know you want me to love you, to please you…to feel me inside of you."

"Oh, I…Yes…I want you. Now, Zevran…now and always," she breathed urgently.

With one fierce movement, he entered her, their bodies pushing and pulling in harmony. No slow teases or temptations were offered; only raw lust thrummed through their bodies as they slammed together, shouts of pleasure and pain resonating off the walls of their bedroom.

When the last of their energies was spent, they stayed coupled, his arms wrapped around her protectively. "My dove, do not worry so. Catalina will live her life, and she will not forget where she came from." He looked into her eyes, his gaze penetrating her very soul. "No matter what comes, we are one, and I shall never leave your side."

"I know. I know you are right about this," she sighed. She held him tighter, moving her lips to his ear. "Don't let me go, Zevran. Hold me…" He nestled his face against her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of lavender, and they gradually fell asleep, wrapped in the comfort of each other's arms.

In the hours before dawn, she awoke in a cold sweat, shivering as she wound the blanket around her tighter.

"Elissa?"

"I woke you up," she whispered quivering.

Zevran sat up, groggy from sleep."What is it?"

Before her mind could react to what she was feeling, she wrapped her arms around Zevran and sobbed into his chest "Dreams…Blight dreams…foul creatures." She gripped him tighter.

"Dígame," he whispered, and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"I was running and they were screaming my name, calling me a coward…saying I would never be able to save my friends, my family…I was alone and crying….I wasn't strong enough," she whimpered.

He pulled back to stare at her, an incensed edge to his voice. "Don't ever say that you are not strong enough. You are the strongest woman I know and you have saved many people, including me. Without you, they would be nothing, I would be nothing."

"Tell me our family will be fine without…you. Tell me again, Zevran," she begged.

"They will be fine, in time, and fond memories will replace these dismal ones. But you already know this, amor. I only wish-. "

"No. Don't say it, Zevran." She pressed her lips to his in a desperate kiss.

Fear.

Cringing by the hearth and wrapped in his arms, Elissa cried in vain, brokenhearted. Platinum and gold strands tangled between their cheeks as Zevran wept with unashamed tears. He steadied her shaky hands with his firm grip and comforted her, devotion plain in his soft voice. "I am here for you, amor."

"But who is here for you, Zevran? I should be brave and strong, but instead, I'm so scared, so powerless." Inflamed and red-rimmed, her eyes sought absolution as she looked into his resolute amber gaze.

"You are here for me, and you are all I need." Zevran lifted her chin up and took a deep breath. "You are not weak, and have never been. I draw from your abilities, as you draw from mine and we will share this burden, as we have shared everything leading to this moment. You are my bones and my heart, and you have given me more than I ever hoped to have in this life. Everything I am is because of you, Elissa. Let me be your strength and courage, your sword…and you shall be mine."

She wiped away his tears, gentle fingertips tracing his faded markings. There, in the dimming firelight, her smile finally emerged, and she held his face steady with the hands he had calmed. Her heart swelled with admiration and loyalty, and she distinguished him with the same title he held for her, but had never said. "You are my hero, Zevran Arainai."

Acceptance.

A heavy rain fell before sunrise and the damp morning air formed a wet slick on the stone floor of the vestibule. Standing in the doorway, she held her loved ones tight, whispering her last directives and parting words of love. "Remember who you are, Catalina. You are an Arainai, the daughter of the legendary assassin and his Grey Warden. Never forget," Elissa demanded, her hands squeezing Catalina's arms hard, leaving reddish imprints of her fingers.

"Never, Mamá… you and Papá will always be with me, para siempre. I love you, Mamá." Elissa kissed Catalina's cheeks and turned away, an ominous nausea making her head swim, and she fled out the door, quickly making her way down the steps to stop next to her horse. Her legs wobbled as she bent at the waist and retched. Elissa was incapable of watching Zevran say goodbye.

At hearing his wife, Zevran shuddered, clenching and releasing his tight fists once before stepping towards Catalina. He lifted her face in his hands, stroking his thumbs over her cheekbones and he smiled. "Viva bien, my stealthy Catalina. Let love guide you through the dark days." Zevran embraced his daughter, damp palms tangling in her hair, and his arms refused the demands of his brain to let her go, to free her to live her life without them. Catalina drew in a tiny, quick breath, a breath that might have been easily missed. "I love you very much, my daughter…I am sorry." The words slipped from his lips, breathy and affecting.

Carlo laid a soft hand on Zevran's shoulder and Catalina slowly moved away from her father. "I understand, Papá, and I will live well, I promise. Take care of Mamá…She loves you so."

Zevran forced a nod, his heart clenching so painfully it almost brought him to his knees. "Always, my kitten."

Zevran turned to face Carlo and narrowed his brows, the eyes of a protective father now upon Catalina's husband. "Everything I have is yours, my son. Our family's life and well-being is in your hands and I trust you will always do what is right, what is necessary."

"I will. This, I swear to you, Zevran. May the Maker guide you both." The two men embraced for a moment and a muted whimper escaped Carlo's lips.

Zevran pulled his grandsons into a strong bear hug, and then handed each a memento wrapped in thin leather. Zevran's family stood before him and he paused to burn the image into his memory. "Do not mourn us, mi familia. We shall be together again someday." One last glimpse and Zevran paced out the door, a proud calm settling into his pounding heart.

Poised next to Elissa, Zevran helped her mount her horse, making sure she was able to grip the reins tightly. As she settled into the saddle, Zevran took her hand and kissed it, his lips lingering on the smooth skin of her palm. He handed her the water bag and she took a sip, swished it around in her mouth briefly, and then spat it out, wiping her lips with her sleeve. "Zevran, I'm sorry, but I couldn't watch…it was too…"

"No apologies, my dear. You know I understand, and they do too."

Watching from the entryway, Catalina clutched her husband's hand tightly as her mother and father rode away on fine black destriers, stallion war horses bred for battle and speed. Moments later, they were gone from her sight and Catalina fell to her knees, unsteady and silent until a single tear escaped her eye, triggering an eruption of mournful cries.

Their journey to Orzammar was simple enough with what few darkspawn they encountered, and those creatures met their end mercilessly. Elissa and Zevran were invincible together, side by side, as they knew they would be. They ate and slept under the twinkling stars, and made love in the open fields, no confining tents needed to shield them from curious eyes.

More than three decades ago, they followed the same paths to Orzammar to gain the support of the dwarves against the Blight. This time, it was a personal quest, a glorious quest reserved for Grey Wardens alone. However, there was no glory, no pride or humility in her heart, only anguish.

On their last night, Zevran paid for a room, the most costly suite above Tapster's Tavern. By candlelight with their fingers entwined, they talked of their first and only child, and of her children. They reminisced about their first meeting, their first kiss, and the first time Zevran held her in his arms through the night.

As he slid inside her warmth, she held him tightly. He embraced her harder as he covered her exposed skin with his body before moving his hips, and when he moved, she moaned. The magic of their dance had begun, the movements filling them with delight, sorrow and finality at once. They moved in unison, heart to heart, repressing nothing, revealing everything.

Thirty-four years of unbridled passions compressed into a single moment in time - the last time. They were one body, one mind and one soul. She cried out his name against his mouth as they came in a solitary heightened burst. As she stroked his silvery hair, his sobs fell silent and she bestowed endless kisses on his face. Zevran held her in a possessive embrace and he left a soft kiss on her hair, a kiss of unending devotion.

Her words blew across his chest and into his heart."I love you, Zevran."

"And I love you," he whispered. "Eternally."

"Brasca! Move away from them, Elissa!" he yelled, but she was already in their clutches. It was all he could do to slice back the three darkspawn holding her captive before he moved into the thick of it. Elissa was bleeding, a puncture at the femoral artery. She panted heavily, falling to her knees and fending off the other beasts as best she could.

"Zevran! Help me!"

With unsteady hands, Zevran forced a tighter grip on his daggers and he flew in circles, ignoring the weakness of his muscles. He took down the surrounding darkspawn with blinding fury as Elissa collapsed to the ground, body parts and blood on all sides of her. Although her lungs labored as the blood drained from her injury, her eyes remained on Zevran, adoring and reverent.

He knelt beside her. "Amor, what do you want me to do?"

She grasped his hand, squeezing it hard with the last of her strength before her arm dropped to her side, and she choked out her plea. "You know. Don't let them…kill me…please, Zevran." Her sight was dimming, but she could still see him in the darkness that was creeping over her. Zevran glowed above her, always radiant, Antiva's famous son.

"Elissa, you are…we have had a marvelous life, and I love you." His tears were unshed, staying strong and gallant, for her, only for her.

"I adore you, my rogue...my husband." Blood sputtered from her mouth and she attempted a deep breath, but her lungs would not expand this time. Zevran shifted to sit beside her, pushing an arm under her shoulders to raise her up enough to see his face, his sorrow. "No tears, Zevran…we will meet again…Do this…with your hand."

Zevran was bewildered for a moment, but then he leaned forward, clearing his mind of the chaos. He kissed her again, and in that moment of untainted bliss, everything slowed and stopped and she felt lighter and freer than she had in years.

She blinked as Zevran pulled back and looked at her. "Elissa, I…forgive me…"

Her lips trembled, turning up in a slight smile. "Nothing…to forgive…I will find you."

"Mi corazón y mi alma," he whispered, his throat constricting. He pressed his forehead to hers and his eyes broke through her stare, a haunting gaze. He pledged to abide by her wishes. "I am your man, without reservation…Promise, mi amor..." Not another word fell from his quivering lips. He had said everything already.

Elissa managed a feeble wink for her Antivan as she breathed out. "Always…my beloved…"

Their lips met, the taste sweet and salty, of blood and tears. He held the dagger securely and swallowed hard, knowing the exact point of entry. With eyes closed, he pierced her heart as the darkspawn began to close in, surrounding her assassin, her savior. As Zevran cradled her head in his arm, he pulled the finely honed blade from her chest with quick precision. Her body jerked once and he winced, his tears now flowing down to dampen her untamed hair.

His love was gone, finally at peace. Zevran fixed his eyes on her tranquil face moments before their blades sliced into his flesh.

Elissa turned, not seeming to notice that she was no longer in the Deep Roads covered in blood and gore. The field was all sunlight and pale purple, and the flowers swayed in the warm breeze. Zevran stood on the other side, gazing at her in disbelief.

Each felt the last burden of pain and sorrow evaporate from their hearts, sacred warmth spreading through their bodies. The emptiness in their souls faded, replaced with the fullness of unequaled joy, and they moved towards each other through the stalks of fragrant lavender.

Arms and legs linked together and the two bodies became one. Youth and power were restored, love and lust coming alive just under the surface of their embrace, a reunion blinding in its beauty.

Euphoric, Elissa took his hands and pressed them to her heart. "Zevran, I've found you at last!"

"I am here, amor, and I am yours, forever."

Thou art my life, my love, my heart,
The very eyes of me;
And hast command of every part,
To live and die for thee.
-Robert Herrick

~Fin~

A/N: And so, it is over. If I didn't have some happiness in the end, I would have collapsed into a heaping pile of despair. Shoot me a message and tell me if the concluding chapter of my romantic tale did or did not disappoint you. As much as I hate to see this story end, I had a marvelous time writing it – no regrets.

A special thank you to Biff McLaughlin, author of the very fine and exciting tale, A Second Chance. Without her assistance, input and grammar skills, especially in this chapter, I might have floundered in a sea of confusion for weeks. Biff, my friend, I believe I owe you more than a few Antivan massages!

Whether you reviewed, alerted, favorited, or just read and enjoyed, please know that without your support and encouragement, I may never have gotten to the end.

If you are interested, I have decided to do the prequel, The Cousland Duty, because I just can't get enough. The story will be set during the original Dragon Age: Origins storyline with the usual quests covered, but I intend to pepper it with action and twist up the storyline outside the main and side quests. See you soon!