Keeping us Together

A/N: Please note, that while this story may be interpreted as second POV, I'd much rather that you, the reader, think of it as a really long monologue coming from Naruto. Almost like a letter, if you understand what I mean. At the same time, I'd like to properly warn you that this is yaoi, and depending on how you feel about it, one or both main characters may seem OOC.

Beta: strawberries and napkins

…

Every week it's the same, because you won't talk to me first and I always need to be sure. I'll sneak out of homeroom so I can come see you, surrounded by your mountain of friends and I'll mouth the same thing.

'Are we still cool?'

Some weeks you'll nod yes, some weeks you'll nod no. This week it's a yes, and I'm happy when I return back to class and all I can think about is us hanging out by the oak tree during lunch. It distracts me from class, I know that, but I'll plead the eleventh, 'distracted by Sasuke Uchiha'. Today you're my best friend and I'm excited because you're the only one I'll ever have and the only one I'll ever want.

I tell you that once it's lunchtime and we're far out into the recess field, sharing lunches. You always frown and tell me that I need to find other friends, but you don't understand how much you mean to me sometimes.

'Do you remember when we first met? Back in kindergarten?' I can't help myself from saying it and I must've said it a million times but I know you like this question by the twinkle in your eyes. I move my lunch tray away from my lap and force you to rest your head there because I know you need rest. You need me; you just don't know it yet.

'Yes. I remember, you told me you were going to be lonely forever and so I asked you to marry me.' There's a small smile on your face, but then you force yourself to keep your face impassive.

I laugh. 'I still have the ring.' It's foolish now, I know. Two guys can't get married, but I still wear the ring sometimes in my room and I remember your shaky hands and blushing face when you slipped it onto my finger for the first time.

You close your eyes and murmur your approval and then we sit in silence while I stroke your scalp. I used to get paranoid when you said you only wanted to have lunch here because I thought you were still ashamed of being seen with me, but now I get it. You love trees and nature. Once you said that if I were a tree I'd be a maple tree because then I'll smell like syrup. But I doubt you'll remember that anymore.

'You know, Kurenai is going to fail me for math again if I don't bring my grade up soon.' I sigh. I don't care about education, not like you do, but I know that my grades matter to you even if you still call me stupid and ignorant, although we're both in the same high school and I haven't flunked a grade yet.

Your eyebrow twitches. 'That's because you keep skipping her class to come bother me during my study hall.'

I laugh. 'Hey, I could've left the school completely. And besides, I learned a little by watching you study.' You snort, but you don't say anything and I know that eventually you're going to offer to tutor me so I can bring it up again. I'd like to think you want to help me study because you want to spend more time with me, but last week when you told me I was worthless and that it was too difficult to talk to me…it made me change my mind.

I don't say anything else after that because I'm too busy playing with your pretty, pretty hair. I know you like that because sometimes you hum and once you even fell asleep. It was hard to wake you then.

The bell rings and before I know it your on your feet and ready to leave but I grab you by the shirt and kiss you. You shove me back against the tree hard, but it's obvious you're blushing.

'Friends,' you hiss and stomp off.

The rest of the day I'm afraid because you might not walk me home after school and when I was walking to my next class you were talking to Kiba and you didn't even look at me. I'm afraid you're mad at me again, and who knows when you'll stop being mad because you Uchihas can hold grudges for years but I can't apologize, because I'm not sorry for kissing you.

After school, I race to your locker to find you and I smile sheepishly. There you are with a glare and an umbrella because it started to rain. We share one together and walk home together in silence. You don't say anything until we get to my front porch.

'Do you…really still wear the ring sometimes?' You're looking at me with uncertainty, but when I fumble around in my pocket and hold it out between us you smirk and say, 'Good.'

I want to, but I don't try to kiss you again.

The next week is bad; I made a mistake on Thursday when I asked you to come over for homework help. I did want to study but the more you talked the more I got to look at your pale face and long, thick and girly eyelashes that brush against your cheek and then I lost it and kissed you. You don't want me to say the truth to anyone though, the truth that you didn't push me away and that you held me tightly so I could keep kissing you. But once it was over you hit me and stormed out. You didn't talk to me at all on Friday.

I came back to you on Monday at school and mouthed the same thing, but this week you shook your head negatively and glared so hard at me that I avoided you for the rest of the day. You hate me for making you do that, I know and everyone always asks me a bunch of questions like 'You two can't be fighting, you're Naruto Uzumaki and he's Sasuke Uchiha, you two are always going to be friends.' They say it like it makes sense, and anything else would be like arguing that two plus two didn't equal four.

I wish that was true, if only my feelings for you weren't always getting in the way of our friendship.

I remember the first time you stopped being my friend for the very same reason. We were thirteen and we were in my room. You were talking to me about girls and when I said I wasn't interested in them you asked me why and I said,

'Because I have you, Sasuke.'

You scowled at me for the rest of the day, but you grabbed my hand and squeezed it, and I was sure that you felt the same way. Before you left, I pecked you on the lips. I'll never forget your face; it was contorted and twisted into something with hatred, and regret. I remember that, because you didn't talk to me for a month and you asked out our other friend, Sakura Haruno. I lost her friendship once she found out how I really felt about you.

Then when you finally forgave me and we became friends again, you never mentioned Sakura again. I know you go out of your way to make sure I'll never see neither of you interact at the same time, but I know that you're still dating her, still with her but not out of love. But you still let me kiss you, and you still kiss me back. I've never wanted to accept it, but still deep down inside I've always thought you were afraid of me.

On Tuesday, I try again and you reject me but at lunch I don't give up. I go to our secret spot for lunch and yes; you're there, but not alone. You're with Kiba, talking and laughing and sharing lunches and although I know that you don't look at him that way. The way he's looking at you and the hand that's lingering on yours, it reminds me of how I act around you. Only I don't understand why you act like my feelings are so repulsive.

You look up and see me, and the smile drops from your face, but it doubles twice as big on Kiba's.

'This is the one you were talking about, right?' He laughs and buries his face in Sasuke's hair to stifle his giggles. You roll your eyes and snort.

'Yeah, that's him.'

I run and don't look back.

It's fine, I swore you off for my own good. By next Tuesday I was spending all my time with Sai, and while people sometimes believe that the only reason I'm with Sai is because he resembles you so much, but in actuality I really did enjoy Sai's company.

He was nothing like you, but it was easier to avoid you when I was busy talking and hanging out with someone else. We barely ever looked at each other, and while you still brought Kiba to our special place, Sai showed me how fun hanging on the roof of the school could be. I spent most of my time recalling memories about you or just talking about you.

I remember that this had happened before, last month you met Kiba and became good friends with him. I didn't tell him that Kiba had been my best friend around the time I had met you when we were six years old, but because I was in love with you I spent less time with Kiba and eventually we grew apart.

He wasn't the only friend I had lost because I was only interested in Sasuke, but he sure was the only one who resented me for it. Most times I think that Kiba doesn't even really like you, he's just acting like he does because he knows that it hurts me. It does hurt me.

I tried to make it hurt you more. I forcibly raised my own grades, challenged you on every test, quiz, project, until I was at your level. I knew that there was a good possibility that I would never be able to exceed it, but I was getting your attention. I was gaining respect, and, I could tell, Sai's affection. I felt bad that I would never be able to return his feelings, because the only thing I wanted was your angry stare digging holes into my back. Then I wanted your secret glances and glares. Then I wanted you to talk to me, and on the second Thursday of April, I got my wish.

We were in the hallway when I saw you coming up the stairs that I was heading down. I planned to keep going and ignore you when you grabbed my arm and spun me around.

'What?' I hissed, but my knees were shaking at your soft gaze filled with concern. The smirk on thin lips grew at you took in the sight of me. I was blushing.

'Lunch time,' you said and then released my arm and disappeared into the stream of students. The only evidence that you had even spoken to me was the fast beating of my heart, and the slowly forming finger shaped bruises on my arm.

I was afraid of what would happen when I was walking out to the far sides of our recess area. I've always loved this school since our recess space was really the green forests surrounding the school. While I was walking to the tree, I felt all sorts of emotions about what would happen. The anxiety and fear in my heart made me want to scream.

But then I saw you, sitting against the tree with your lunch tray in hand and a smirk on your face. I immediately rushed over and it was like nothing changed. We laughed and talked and shared lunches and you didn't even mention our fallout. I didn't bring it up, I was just happy that you were happy to be around me.

'Sasuke, eat these tomatoes.' I laughed and passed you my tray at the same time you leaned over. I couldn't help it, I guess I didn't learn my lesson because when our foreheads bumped against each other accidentally and you resolve weakened, immediately closing your eyes, face flushing, my heart surged and I kissed you. We broke apart and the surprise in your eyes made them sparkle like obsidian gems. I lost my balance and fell on my back.

'You…worked so hard just so I would notice you again. Why?' You growled against my cheek, and your body tenses against mine, like you're afraid of me.

'Of course…you're my…rival…' I gasped and traces circles on your back with my trembling fingers, unbelieving that this was you and I, lying on the grass, kissing and touching like this. It's only when I say your name again that reality strikes you, and you push me away. Again.

You left school that day with a smiling and laughing Kiba and I went home with Sai, making up a string of apologies and excuses as to why I wasn't with him at lunch. I don't think he believed me, but at the same time I don't think his feelings even mattered to me anymore; I was being wrapped up and absorbed in everything that was about you.

Once I got home, I called you twice. Both times you sent my call straight to voicemail.

Since it was Friday and I had another math test to take, I didn't bother you until the afternoon because I kept having flashbacks of you every time my mind started to wander.

It got really bad in my English class because I sit right behind Sakura and while most days I could ignore her, I could tell she was mad at me only because my grades were topping hers. Sakura used to be good friends with you and I during elementary school but I could always tell she was friends with me because she wanted to be on good terms with you. You and I were inseparable then because I hadn't realized that my feelings for you were this…real.

You, Sakura, and I were all working on a History project on the history project when she decided for us to take a break. I remember because her lemonade was always especially sweet and you hated it, so I drank both yours and mine. Her ulterior motives were obvious in a few moments.

'Do you guys have anyone you like?' she asked, blushing.

You shrugged and passed me your untouched glass. 'Bathroom,' you mouthed to me and then excused yourself, leaving. Sakura pouted, but I tried to smile and laugh it off to keep her spirits high.

'Leave it to the bastard to have such a weak bladder, right?' My smile was dead; it was obvious that you just weren't interested in Sakura or what she had to say.

She bit her lip, nervously. 'Hey…Naruto, do you think…Sasuke may…like me?'

I choked on the lemonade and vehemently shook my head. 'No, not at all.' There was no point in lying to her, right? Besides, Sasuke was my best friend and I don't think you'd appreciate it if I filled her head with a bunch of lies.

She sighed and whimpered, frustrated. 'But why,' she bemoaned. 'Why doesn't he like me? He doesn't talk to any other girls but me, he doesn't even look at them!' She paused and looked at me.

'Naruto, who do you like?' I gulped down the lemonade I was sipping thickly and blushed. Immediately, your smiling face came to mind, but I didn't realize why it did just yet.

She didn't believe me and got angry. 'Why are you lying to me? I thought we were friends!' she had said and then we argued, where I defended myself and Sakura cornered me, all but saying out loud that the one I liked was you and that you probably did like her, I was just jealous and was speaking for you. It was a ridiculous argument, but now I understand why she was saying those crazy things. Because she was in love, and people do crazy things when they're in love.

She slapped me across the face when I called her a name for yelling at me. I turned around and you were standing there, with a severely disappointed look. You grabbed me by the arm, grabbed both our jackets and threw my shoes at me.

'S-Sasuke-kun! What about the project?' I ignored her, scrambling to put my shoes on and grabbed your hand as you pushed me out the door and gave Sakura one last hard stare before we left.

I lost Sakura's friendship, but I fell in even deeper love with you that day because you were so nice to me. You brought me over to your house instead and gave me a cold pack for my face and some ramen for my pride and we sent the rest of the night watching movies in your room.

That was one of my favorite memories with you, it's just a shame that in the end you turned around and actually dated her, or maybe, you're still dating her. It didn't matter if she was mad at me though, I let her have her glares. The reminder made me think about how important you are to me, and how I can't afford to lose you over something trivial. I am in love.

I found you in the empty locker room, staring at me with piercing eyes and a raised eyebrow because I kept stuttering over my apology. But when I was finally starting to get distracted by the muscles bulging out of your gym shirt, Kiba rushing in, yelling at you for taking your time. I smiled and hugged my blushing brunet, whispering in your ear to meet me at my house, later. You actually laughed out loud as I left the room with Kiba giving me the most intense fixed stare ever, but it didn't matter.

I had full confidence you would come.

I left as soon as the bell rang, giving Sai some lame excuse about having to be home early for parents of mine that didn't exist. That was the good thing about my house because I lived alone. No one would bother us.

I laid on my bed and fingered that ring in my hands until I heard the front door open and close.

'Up here,' I called out, still lying on my bed when you opened the door and grunted.

'I'm assuming you called me here for tutoring because that's all you're getting,' you warned as you set his schoolbag down and stretched out on my floor.

I frowned. 'Why are you so afraid of me?'

'I'm not afraid of you…' You closed your eyes tightly and sighed. 'Besides, it's not worth it. I said we were friends and that's how it'll stay. Stop being a baby.'

'That's not what you were saying yesterday,' I snapped angrily. You sat up and glared at me.

'Stop it, Naruto. What is it you want from me?'

I almost had the gall to laugh so instead I tackled you gently and we struggled for dominance on my floor. 'You.' I kissed you, and called you an idiot.

'You must be denser than I am. Because you know I've always wanted you.' Then I kiss you again, and again, and again...

You relented and kissed me back, taking control of the situation. It was only for a while, but I was satisfied, and content. And then when I said I wanted to keep that sparkle in your eyes forever, you smiled at me. So then I knew.

And just like that, we went from friends to lovers.

Our relationship lasted for pretty much the remainder of the year. We would sneak up on each other during classes with heated stares and brief kisses, and yet lunch time by the tree was the same. My grades kept moving up. We still held sleepovers, we still played board games, and we still talked about the future. It was that simple, I was satisfied, but I'm not always sure if you were happy with this. You said a lot of things to me, flying out of your mouth that you couldn't stop them. I've seen sides of you I don't think anyone else in the world will get to see.

It was one of the first things you'd say. 'You're going to regret this, you can't be with me…'

I'd swallow my tongue and let you speak, because I wasn't sure your reasons for saying it but I could feel some love and genuinely in your speech. I'd wait until you were done spilling your heart, and then I'd try to console you.

'Sasuke…' I'd kiss your forehead like I always do, but it wasn't enough for you anymore, because you stopped believing me.

'No, you don't get it. You can't love me, dobe.' You'd whimper and nestle in closer to me and I wouldn't speak again until you fall asleep. I know that this troubles you, because you never wanted an intimate relationship like this, with me. This is what I've wanted, and I know it hurts you, but I guess this is what it means to hurt the one you love. I can't help it that I love you, and I know my constant reminders bore you to death sometimes, but you love me too.

'You still don't get it Sasuke,' I'd say and kiss your swollen lips as you finally tired yourself out. 'This love…our love…it's what keeps us together.' Then you'd snort and hit me over the head, mumbling about how every other word out of my mouth was rehearsed from some romance novel.

Yet I've never regretted my words, not all the way through high school until graduation with this relationship of ours. Even when everyone found out about us and Kiba ruined both our reputations, when you ignored me for almost a year because you were afraid of word getting back to your family. When you came back for me on the first day of spring because for once you needed me more than I needed you.

When we lost all our friends because our relationship is alive and constantly destroying everything that isn't you and me, I still wear the ring and swear to your disbelieving face that I love you anyway. When your family arranged your marriage and yet every day we still found time to have lunch by a tree so you could tell me how you feel, and so I could show you how I felt. And even when you grew up and moved away for bigger and better things, I'll still wait for you, because I love you.

And whether you can accept it or not, Sasuke, our love will always keep us together.

I reeeally hope you liked it enough to drop a review. Honestly, this was done awhile ago, but I wanted my beta to go over it because I wanted to see how it might turn out if I actually posted it. We did a bit of radical changing to it, but overall I liked it enough to post it, and hopefully the story was an enjoyable read for you! I'd really appreciate some suggestions about this one-shot, so, please review.