A/N:

The Twilight Series and its characters belong to S. Meyer. The ideas for this story belong to me so that I can make them do what I want.

A huge thank you to my wonderful beta, Beans827, for her magic on this fic and to pyejammies and kazbar for pre-reading.

Menage was rec'd over on Jasper's Naughty Girls by the lovely Tazz Thankyou sweety.

Thank you all so much for all of the great reviews as well as the alerts and favorites.

Chapter 7 – Confusion

~Edward~

The more I dwelled on what happened last night, the less certain I felt about anything anymore. I was so confused. What did my reaction to Bella's words and my thoughts of Jasper as I climaxed mean? Was I just reacting to the erotic nature of Bella's dream or was there more to it? Did it signify something else or was it simply caused by a combination of alcohol, elation from the evening's success and my growing friendship with Jasper?

I know, at some point in many men's lives, they can develop a man-crush on someone, but that didn't mean that there was anything more to it than respect or looking up to someone. I really enjoyed spending time in Jasper's company. He was always so calm and rational and managed to bring those qualities out in myself. But that didn't mean that I actually wanted Jasper to do those things to me, did it?

Not that I had a problem per se if I did, other than the little tiny detail that I was marrying Bella soon, and, despite her dream, I doubted that she would be okay with me exploring the possibility I may be attracted to Jasper, out of the blue. I'd explored the issue with my counselor of whether I might have homosexual leanings years ago, not long after my living nightmare that had made me doubting everything I knew to that point.

Despite how tired I had been earlier, I was now wide awake and as the night gave way to early morning, old fears resurfaced which I'd thought had been squelched successfully over the years. Back then, I'd tried to blank out all that had happened by fucking my way through every eligible girl in the precinct, the DA's office and randoms picked up in bars around Chicago. I fucked them all trying to get some semblance of control in my life back and to prove to all who questioned me that I was okay.

But the truth was…I wasn't okay then and I really wasn't okay now.

The memory that I didn't want to face or think about, because it was seriously fucked up, kept haunting me in my dreams.

It was not the thought of the pain I had suffered or the degradation I had felt at their hands. The bitterest memory of that time was that during it all I had at times been hard of my own accord; I'd been forced to come, to feel forced pleasure─over and over again─ to the sound of their raucous laughter as I was tied up and raped.

After numerous sessions with my psychologist, reassurances from my father and my own knowledge of physiology, I theoretically knew that the reactions I had to stimuli were basically out of my control. But, in my mind, I continued to wonder what kind of sick fuck I really was in having those kinds of reactions, while immersed in the horror that I had been facing.

I, of course, considered whether I had uncovered some latent homosexual tendencies previously not explored, but after a one time foray into the gay club scene, I had felt fairly confident that my desires did not truly lie that way. I hadn't felt anything sexually when I'd been surrounded by some of the most attractive men I had ever seen in tight clothes that left little to the imagination. Being the thorough person that I am, I made sure to test my boundaries by dancing with a few of the men that asked me to. I even allowed myself to be kissed right out there on the dance floor. I was not repulsed by any means, but neither was I eager to repeat the experience. It really had done nothing for me.

Until now.

Maybe all of this was simply a manifestation of cold feet. Bella and I were getting married within a few weeks and our relationship had moved along so quickly. In less than nine months, we had started dating, moved in together and now would be tying the knot. Was my subconscious just throwing me a curve ball to ensure I would take a step back and really think hard about what I wanted before taking this major step in my life?

However, I knew one thing with absolute certainty. Bella was everything to me and I loved her wholly and absolutely.

I would never do anything to jeopardize that.

I shoved aside my feelings of unease about the situation with Jasper. The wedding was fast approaching and there'd be no time to relax between our busy work schedules and my mother descending on our household in less than a few hours to finalize the arrangements.

*…*…*…*…*

But that's the thing about the best laid plans. By simply telling myself that I was just suffering from wedding nerves and that there was nothing between Jasper and me, I ensured that I was now super sensitive to everything Jasper said or did. I had finally fallen asleep sometime around five am when I was disturbed by a noise in the kitchen. Bella was already up and gone from the room. I showered quickly, dressed in a pair of soft track pants & a wife beater, and then left the safety of our room attempting to school my features into nonchalance before facing them.

As I rounded the corner, I spotted them both in the kitchen making breakfast laughing and joking, Bella leaning over Jasper to reach for a spatula and him swatting her ass as she moved back to the stove. They looked so relaxed and comfortable with each other and I hoped like hell I could pull off the same vibe after the harrowing night I'd just had. I took a deep breath before alerting them to my presence.

"Something smells good," I said, as I strolled nonchalantly towards them sniffing the air appreciatively. The bacon and eggs smelled wonderful and my stomach growled in response.

"We're just about ready to serve up, Edward. Can you get the plates and cutlery out babe?" Bella asked. I nodded and walked up behind her, kissing her lingeringly on the arch of her neck. She shivered and hummed in appreciation, and for a brief moment, her weight pressed back against me, before being distracted and returning to turning the bacon.

Jasper was busy buttering toast on the kitchen counter which was a problem. He stood directly in front of the cupboard where our plates were stored. Before Bella's explicit dream about him last night, I would have simply leaned around him and retrieved what I needed, or bumped him out of the way. Now, I felt self-conscious and jittery around him.

As I stood there, indecision about what to do incapacitating me, Bella pushed me with her hip gently forward with a quizzical, "Plates, Edward?"

I hadn't expected the push, and with my feet tangling together, I stumbled and found myself pressed into Jasper's back, one hand on his hip and the other on the kitchen counter by his side to steady myself. Jasper gasped audibly and I stood there in shock for just a moment. I was pressed intimately against him. My feet between his, my chest aligned perfectly with his muscular back so that I could feel the warmth of his bare skin through my shirt. My nose was buried in his soft hair that smelled faintly of the mint and citrus scents from his shampoo and most telling of all, my dick had unerringly fit neatly between the cheeks of his round firm ass, accessible by courtesy of his thin sleep pants.

I stayed in place maybe a fraction too long, startled by the feelings that being this close to Jasper had evoked, maybe because of the dream or more worrying - maybe not. Jasper shifted slightly and I struggled to hold in the moan that was threatening to escape my lips as the movement caused my dick to rub against his ass. I coughed and stepped back muttering a quick sorry. Fuck! I still needed to get those plates.

"Excuse me, Jasper; I need to get into that cupboard in front of you to get the plates."

Was that my voice sounding so high pitched?

"Sure thing," Jasper replied, without turning. He moved quickly to the side, thankfully still facing towards the counter, and dragged the toast and butter down with him. I took the moment to adjust myself in my pants, trying to talk myself into believing that it was just a delayed morning wood that I was experiencing and nothing at all to do with the feeling of Jasper's body pressed intimately to mine.

I retrieved the plates, went about setting the table and pouring out orange juice for us all. I picked up the condiments and returned to the table as Jasper and Bella brought our food over and we all sat down together.

Bella seemed completely oblivious to the undercurrents around the table. Jasper seemed very subdued, as was I, and seemed to find Bella's chatter most illuminating, barely looking my way at first. Was he affected by my stumble like I had been? Or had it barely registered with him and I was making mountains out of molehills as was my usual way? As the conversation turned once more to our success last night, the atmosphere lightened. Jasper talked enthusiastically of our performance and I slowly relaxed, the conversation bringing me back to the time before my dream and the euphoria I felt as we worked together creating music in front of an audience. As Jasper detailed the bare bones of an idea for lyrics for another song he wanted to write, I could hear the notes forming in my mind.

As soon as we were able, without Bella feeling we were abandoning her again, Jasper and I retired to the study and I picked out some notes on my keyboard as Jasper hummed his tune to me. The comfort of music, and my concentration on matters besides the dream, finally had me more relaxed, and as time passed, the jittery feelings disappeared. Jasper had to get back to West Point tonight and Esme was due in a few hours so we didn't have a lot of time to get our ideas down on paper. Jasper would be back next weekend, for Saturday night only, for my buck's night and then again the following weekend for the wedding.

As Jasper left, he man-hugged me and dipped Bella theatrically as she giggled at his antics. On his way out the door he called out that he'd heard there were big plans afoot for my last hurrah as a single man next week, and I smiled weakly at his enthusiasm. I tried to stop the panic welling in my chest at the thought. Yesterday, I was fine and completely psyched to be getting married in two weeks. Damn it! Why was Bella's dream freaking me out so much and making me doubt everything?

I had no time for further reflection though; as soon as Jasper had left in one lift, the other opened on our floor and my mother stepped out, laden down with luggage and bridal paraphernalia. As I rushed to help her I felt relieved that the next few days would be hectic, leaving me little time for thinking.

After my parents moved to Seattle a few years ago, Esme had finally settled into a career. When I had been young and my Dad, Carlisle, was working all hours at the hospital, she filled her time with decorating our homes and those of her friends and family. She had also been a member of countless committees for charities and had organized some glittering galas and fundraisers for the hospital. Now that I was out of her hair and Dad was semi-retired, she'd opened her own business as an event coordinator and weddings were her specialty.

She and Bella got on like a house on fire, particularly since Bella had basically given my mother carte blanche on the wedding planning. All Bella and I had had to do was give the final approval for Esme's plans. Everything was falling into place and I refused to let any last minute worries affect this special day for Bella.

After participating as much as required with wedding arrangements, I took the chance to duck into the precinct for a while and get some work done, aware that Bella and I were taking time off after the wedding. Not as long as I would have liked but one of Bella's investigations was due in court soon and for the weeks leading up to her appearance, she was working overtime to get her testimony down pat.

*…*…*…*…*

The week flew by with both Bella and I passing in the night. How taking off only 5 days in total could amount to so much extra work for both of us, I didn't quite know, but suddenly I was swamped in paperwork that apparently had to be completed before the wedding. With barely enough energy to make love when we did actually make it to bed, my dreams were kept at bay by sheer exhaustion and I was grateful.

I spoke to Jasper several times during the week. Luckily the distance between us, and the simple fact that there had been no further recurring dreams of him pleasuring me, made it somewhat easier to cast the episode the other night aside as a case of groom's nerves. I didn't want anything to mar the way I felt about Bella and the joy I had to be marrying her in a matter of days.

Then, it was the night of our respective Bachelor and Bachelorette nights and a mere week away from the wedding. I had no idea of the plans that had been made but was happy to go along with whatever arrangements Emmett had made with the boys. By rights, my best man should have been organizing the night, but my best friend Alice, who was standing up for me at the wedding, was not able to fly in until the day before.

Jasper was standing up for Bella, but after Rosalie had taken control of the evening, he had opted to start off with the girls for dinner and then make his way to my party. Apparently the girls were heading off to some supposedly 'tame' venue with male strippers. Bella had teased him about it being right up his alley, but Jasper excused himself by reminding her that he was at West Point, and despite the great strides taken, he couldn't allow himself to be seen publicly in such a place. His hard won position as Major could not so easily be dismissed.

With some trepidation, I dressed for my night out in jeans and a black button down shirt, and drained a beer while waiting for Emmett. The first place on the agenda was our favorite sports bar, O'Flanagan's, where the gang from work had all congregated. After we were appropriately lubricated, we shuffled down the road to Hooters for sustenance. Emmett and his penchant for big breasts and shorts skirts had chosen that clichéd venue. I wasn't holding out much hope for the quality of the food but was pleasantly surprised. I couldn't help but check my watch wondering when Jasper would show. I checked with Emmett that Jasper knew of the plans and after the fifth such inquiry; he rolled his eyes and said, "Jasper's joining us at the next stop, Ed. So, shut the fuck up about your boyfriend, he'll be here when he's here. Just enjoy yourself while you fucking can, buddy."

Boyfriend?

With my heart beating double time, I choked on Emmett's words. What the fuck?

"What the fuck are you talking about, Emmett? Boyfriend?"

"Man, what's with you tonight, Ed? I was just joshing ya. Settle petal!" Emmett laughed and clapped me on the back, giving me a funny look.

Fuck. I was being a pussy tonight. Here I was with my buddies on what was my last weekend as a single guy, and I should have been enjoying myself; instead I was wondering when the fuck my fiancé's best friend was going to show up. I rolled my shoulders and cracked the tightness out of my neck. It was going to end now, I decided. As I elbowed into the middle of the crowd, I degenerated into one of the crowd by adding my two cents worth on the bodaciousness of each of the waitress's tits as they sauntered by in their too tight t-shirts.

Not long after, Emmett rallied us all in order to make our way to the next stop on his agenda, a club called Lush across town. As we piled into cabs, I was about to ask once more about Jasper, but wisely, after one look at Emmett's face, decided against it. I was surprised at the luxurious surroundings when we arrived. I was expecting a bit of a dive, but was even more impressed when we were directed to a private room with its own bar, stripper pole, a lone chair on the stage and a short walkway.

And Jasper.

I breathed out a sigh of relief on seeing him sitting there in front of the stage, glad that he was finally here. He stood up as we entered and came over to me, grabbing me into a hug and clapping me on the back, all the while expressing his happiness that he could share this rite of passage with me. I hugged him back and felt a calm settle over me for the first time all night. I hadn't realized how tense I had become as the evening had progressed, and only now that Jasper was here, the tightness in my shoulders dissipated.

The rest of the boys crowded around us. Those who knew Jasper pulled him into conversation, the rest introduced themselves. I moved back from the crowd, looking in from the sidelines at all of my friends that I had made in this town. Noticeably absent was anyone from Chicago.

Alice had been my best friend and partner for years, but I had had a wide range of other friends at one time, mostly from the force. Some, who I thought had been good friends, had distanced themselves from me after 'the incident', many unsure of what to say to me, the others more vocal in their derision at what I had been through. The rest I had pulled away from all on my own, feeling self-conscious all the time about how much they knew, and not being able to take the pitying looks that were thrown my way.

Moving to New York had been the best decision I had made in years and I had Alice to thank for encouraging me to take the step. As far as I know, no one here had heard of what had happened to me and I wanted to keep it that way. Not having to worry every time I walked into the precinct about what my colleagues thought was liberating, and because it wasn't in the forefront of my mind all day, every day, I was managing the nightmares much better. Mostly.

Now, if only…

My thoughts were interrupted with the familiar bump and grind of an old-fashioned strip show anthem, the lighting in the room dimming as we took our seats in front of the small stage. As if synchronized, a bevy of topless waitresses converged on us with trays of beer and spirits, and, just when I selected a whiskey, five girls in stockings, suspenders, bustiers and little black panties that barely covered their behinds pranced out onto the spot lit stage.

As expected, we all clapped and cheered, and the girls responded with sultry winks in our direction. Surprisingly, the girls performed a sensual dance rather than the standard bump and grind routine, and as far as I could tell, they were really singing rather than just lip-syncing. Emmett had outdone himself, for which I was very grateful. It was actually tasteful.

These girls really looked like they were enjoying themselves, showing a little bit of bare hip here and the curve of a breast there while smiling sensuously the whole time they strutted and pranced to the music. As the second song drew to an end, the curtains closed, and the bare-breasted waitresses were back, this time bringing with them trays of finger foods and more drinks.

Before long the curtains re-opened and a lone girl sashayed out, her eyes never leaving mine as she drew closer and closer. She wore a very short, very low cut candy striper outfit with long white stay-up lace stockings and precarious looking high heels. As she reached the end of the stage, she crooked her finger at me and beckoned me to come closer to her. As was customary at these events, I shook my head, wanting to get out of whatever she had planned for me for reasons more than mere shyness. But, Emmett and Jasper, who had been seated on either side of me, grabbed my arms and lifted me out of my chair.

Instinctively I struggled, not liking the feeling of being restrained while also worrying about what was to come. The boys' arms were like vices around my biceps and the rest of the gang was all laughing at what I was sure was a look of panic on my face. No one here knew of my past, so none of it was malicious, but that didn't make my heart beat any slower or my palms sweat any less. The dancer was making a pouty face at my obvious reluctance and was encouraging the boys to get me up on stage, which they did, with one final great heave.

I stood there on the end of the stage, feeling exposed even though fully clothed, while my friends looked up at me and laughed at my discomfort. It was almost like one of my nightmares come true, mirroring almost exactly what I had been threatened with time and again when I made moves to resist all that happened to me. Along with the promise of more pain than I could handle, threats had been made to exact their punishments in front of a larger audience and without the anonymity of a blindfold or mask.

That had never happened, but my nightmares from time to time, did feature an audience of my colleagues and family to witness my humiliation. Those were definitely the worst nightmares I suffered. To go through what I had was bad enough, but, for the people I cared about to know intimately the degrading things that had been done to me, was beyond compare and those dreams shook me like none of the others.

I couldn't move; I was rooted to the spot, until the dancer grabbed my tie and pulled me gently to the chair in the center of the stage. Just before she pushed me with her fingertip down onto the seat, she whispered, "Don't worry, honey, we won't bite…unless you want us too!" Her comment did nothing to quell the nerves coursing through my body. Damn it. I knew that this was nothing like what I had been through, and that nothing bad would happen to me here, but, my body seemed to have a mind of its own and I was almost hyperventilating.

I couldn't see them well with the bright lights shining into my eyes, but, the guys were hooting and hollering and yelling out for me to kick back and relax. Although they quieted when the music again poured through the speakers spread around the room and the lights dimmed once more. With the bright lights gone, I could now faintly see the crowd, but what drew my attention was seeing Jasper out front, with a look of concern on his face.

The dimmed lights, Jasper, and oddly enough the strangeness of the song that came on, broke my spiraling descent into a complete panic attack. I was confused; the song was Hit Me Baby One More Time by Britney Spears which I thought a little odd for a burlesque show.

My confusion morphed into understanding once the lone dancer departed the stage and was replaced with four new dancers wearing catholic school girl uniforms with shorter than short plaid skirts, white blouses, little neckties, knee-high white socks and black Mary-Janes. Now the music made sense…I also made a little mental note to get one of those outfits for Bella…for our playtime, they were fucking hot.

I needn't have worried so much. The girls were all professional and the night was fairly tame all in all. I did get a bird's-eye view of the performances, including the highlight of the night when all the girls, for their encore, stripped down to micro thongs and feather fans. The rest of the crowd viewed bare bottoms but I was afforded the full frontal view as the fans were whisked away for a brief second or two and the thongs ripped off, before their nudity was covered once more with the fans, front and back, as they sashayed behind the curtains for the final time.

As I made my way back down to the front of the stage, Jasper was the first to approach me.

"Edward, you okay, man? You had me worried up there for a minute; you looked a bit shell shocked." Jasper slung his arm over my shoulders and waited patiently for a response. No way was I going to tell him even a sliver of the truth. If I did, then the way I was feeling, teetering on the edge of a precipice would all come tumbling out, and so far, it was working keeping it all inside. I didn't want my past to taint my future. Not now when I was so close to a future I craved.

"No, it's all good, Jasper. I just don't like to be restrained, that's all. It made me a little nervous for a while but I'm fine now."

Jasper seemed like he wanted to say something more, maybe expected more of an explanation, but I cut him off, not wanting to dwell any more on my past tonight.

"So, let's get this show on the road," I rushed out, calling out to the rest of the group, "Where to next, boys?"

The rest of the night flew by a little hazily. After pub crawling for a few hours, Jasper and I staggered home to the apartment at around three am, where Bella was sprawled out half undressed on the bed, smelling like sweet cocktails, and snoring softly. I said a sleepy goodnight to Jazz and joined her, not even waking her with my fumbling attempts to get my clothes off, or even when I had to shift her on to her side of the bed so I could lay down on mine.

*…*…*…*…*

After a sleep of dreamless exhaustion, I woke sometime around noon the next morning to a dry birdcage of a mouth, and a thumping headache. Bella didn't seem to be fairing much better by the sound of her low moaning and muttering about killing Rosalie for buying her that last drink.

I dropped a gentle kiss on her forehead, one of her eyes opening briefly in acknowledgement, before dragging myself out of bed and towards the bathroom. A hot shower and a shave later, I felt marginally normal, bleary eyes and all, and managed to shuffle towards the kitchen and the smell of coffee percolating.

"Jasper, I think I love you."

Jasper froze for a second and then spun around from the coffee maker, choking on the piece of toast that was hanging half out of his mouth, I laughed, and then clapped him on the back when he continued to cough and splutter.

"Fuck, Edward, you douche. Way to sneak up and scare the shit out of me!" Jasper yelled, causing me to wince as the pounding in my head increased exponentially.

"Jasper…keep the noise down to a dull roar, will you? My head is freaking killing me." I groaned in response…just above a whisper.

Jasper chuckled at my obvious discomfort, but did lower his voice and asked if I'd like a juice and a painkiller. I nodded, not too vigorously to both, and sank down in a chair, head in hands, while Jasper poured me some orange juice and grabbed a couple of painkillers.

"And why is it you're so chipper this morning, Jas? Shouldn't you be nursing a hangover too after last night?"

"Edward, I didn't start drinking until I got to Lush so you had quite a head start on me. Plus I had plenty of water and a Berocca before I went to bed. I feel pretty damn good actually. Wanna come for a run with me, Ed?"

Run? Is he putting me on? I can barely open my eyes let alone manage a run through the noisy downtown traffic to get to Central Park.

My face must have shown quite a bit of distress because Jasper came over, juice and pills in hand, putting them on the table next to me before placing his hand on my shoulder. "Easy, Edward, I'm just messing with you. Take these and go back to bed for a while. I'll put a juice and painkillers out for Bella too. Something tells me that she isn't going to feel any better than you. Lightweights!"

"Thanks, man. Will you be alright on your own for a while, Jasper?"

Jasper's raised eyebrow and shaking head confirmed the ridiculousness of my comment. He was a grown man and had been around here often enough. He was quite at home.

"I am actually going for a run," Jasper said. "I'll just grab your spare key and let myself back in. Don't worry about me, Edward. I've been on my own for most of my life. I think I will manage to fill up a few hours."

With my eyes almost fully closed, and half asleep, I shuffled back down the hallway. I was in bed, with the blinds drawn, Bella sleeping beside me, before the gravity of Jasper's last comment hit me. What did he mean he has been alone his entire life?

We talked all the time and hung out a lot when he was in New York but I just then realized that our conversations really only touched on his deployments, what he does at West Point and music. I didn't really know Jasper as well as I thought I did. I guess I had kept things superficial to protect my own secrets and ended up being less of a friend than I thought. I resolved to rectify the matter tonight at dinner. My conscience clear, I dropped back to sleep.

I don't know if it was the remnants of alcohol in my system, the lack of sleep lately or the thoughts of being a better friend to Jasper that caused the disturbing dreams that pervaded my sleep that afternoon. Or maybe it was a combination of all three. But of one thing I was quite sure – this time it was not Bella's dream that contained erotic scenes involving Jasper and myself together. It was my own.

When I awoke in the late afternoon, I remembered shadowy scenes of the two of us together and without conscious thought must have wrapped my hand around my throbbing erection, and was very close to completion. I jerked my hand away guiltily; looking around for Bella. On finding her in the bathroom doorway smirking at my guilty demeanor, I felt flushed and panicked at what she might have overheard.

"Don't let me interrupt you, Edward," she giggled. "I was very much enjoying your little impromptu show. That was one hell of a dream you were having, all that moaning and grinding into me was so fucking hot."

Show? Moaning? Grinding…oh God!

What the hell must Bella be thinking? Had I said Jasper's name in my sleep amongst all the moaning? She's smiling though; she doesn't seem upset, so maybe I didn't say anything out loud during my dream? In fact, she looked anything but upset with me, standing there biting her lip, her nipples erect and pointing straight at me, while rubbing her legs together which I knew from past experience, signified her arousal. My erection that had deflated rather rapidly with the worry about my dream sat up and took notice, and then strained towards her, lengthening and throbbing with the knowledge that it would be soon buried within her depths.

I shoved aside the concerns I knew I should be having right now about Jasper and took advantage of the moment. I reached across to the bedside table and pulled out the bottle of lube we kept there for just such an occasion and drizzled a little onto my erection. Once I'd slicked it over myself, I beckoned Bella towards me with one crooked finger and taking myself in hand with the other, pumped my cock rapidly to entice her over to the bed. It was cheating in a way, as I knew Bella's particular weakness to the sight of me pleasuring myself. If I was ever in the mood, it was always a sure fire way to get Bella's attention, although too much and she'd want to watch me lose control and come all over myself, whereas I'd prefer to be balls deep inside of her when I came. I think it was a primal male thing, wanting to be inside my woman implanting my seed, regardless of the fact that Bella was on birth control and neither of was wanting children for quite some time.

Bella stood there seemingly transfixed, watching my hand grip harder and move just a little bit faster, up and down, then a brief pause as I palmed the head of my dick. After swiping my thumb across the slit, my hand was once again sliding back down my length aided by the leaking pre-cum I had gathered, arching into my fingers on the way. A brief glimpse of my dream flashed before me of Jasper's hand wrapped around me instead of my own and I let out a strangled groan, simultaneously arching up higher and gripping tighter while trying to focus back on Bella's flushed face rather than my dream Jasper's firm knowledgeable grip.

"Bella, love. Please come back to bed." I panted, the momentum of my hands and straining hips taking its toll on my breathing.

Bella smiled, a little smirk teasing her lips as she stalked towards the bed, licking her lips, eyeing my erection like a lion might size up its prey just before pouncing. But she didn't pounce; instead she just slithered up between my parted legs and with the barest pressure stroked my ball sac with just the tips of her fingers just once. She pulled back and sat up on her heels while she pinched her nipples, twisting and rolling them as she watched me through narrowed eyes.

Tease!

I pumped faster, my hand almost acting independently of my brain, turned on despite myself, performing for my girl. I could feel the skin of my face and upper chest starting to warm, a warning sign of a tell-tale flush. It used to embarrass me but now that I knew how it affected Bella seeing physical evidence of the pleasure that my own hand brought me, it just made me even harder and my toes curled as I could feel the pressure mounting in my lower abdomen. I couldn't take my eyes off Bella's own chocolate brown eyes, glassy now with desire as her fingers drifted down from her breasts, over the soft mound of her belly and into the soft curls covering her slit. My own breath caught, mirroring hers, as her fingers dipped lower still and started plunging deep within her channel, then slick with her arousal, sliding back up to circle her clit, her hips arching up into her fingers.

Bella's face took on a mischievous look, her grin prominent as she leaned down and took one of my balls within the heat of her mouth and sucked gently. I nearly came off the bed because the action was so unexpected and pleasurable. I barely contained my muttered "Fuck!" as she kissed the base of my sac before moving onto its mate next to it. My free hand, of its own accord, unclenched itself from the tangled sheets by my side and stroked through the sleep-tousled disarray of the hair loose around her shoulders, holding her head in place as she licked and sucked on my scrotum.

I wasn't going to last much longer, it had been a few days since we'd been together intimately, what with our workloads and then our separate parties last night. Bella's lips lifted from me for a brief moment and then returned to their ministrations as I felt Bella's wet finger unexpectedly circle my rear entrance a little tentatively. Bella had never done this before, although truth to tell whenever Bella's fingers had wandered close before I'd always caught them up and distracted her.

For some reason, this time was different, both my hands were otherwise occupied and Bella had not dithered around as she usually did, but had gone straight for the puckered skin. This time, because I hadn't stopped her, her finger slipped just inside of me. I immediately felt a slight fullness and tensed slightly, nervous about being hurt. It's not like I'd not explored this area myself before, or even with previous sexual partners, but that time hovered in the far reaches of my mind even knowing Bella would never hurt me like they had. Bella's finger stroked me gently as she pushed slowly and surely further after breaching the initial resistance. My erection had calmed a little with the unexpected intrusion. If I continued to tense up, I knew things would not be pleasant so I took a deep breath in and tried to relax as much as possible while Bella massaged inside of me, searching for that spot.

Although she was tentative with me, it was not for lack of knowledge or experience I'd wager, I had simply shown her by my actions that this scared me. Of course she didn't know the real reason why it did, so I guess she assumed it was fear of the unknown. Little did she know of the experience I had gained in this area, albeit the majority of which was unwanted and forced. My body slowly started to relax and unclench, so much so that I even began enjoying the sensations her finger was generating. At least my nerves had slowed everything down so I wasn't in danger of blowing my load before we'd really gotten started.

All conscious thoughts flew from my mind when Bella found that spot, my prostrate, and started to massage it with the pad of her finger. My hips reacted automatically by pushing down against her hand to enhance the feelings she was evoking and I could feel my dick swell in my hand. I couldn't help the long drawn out moan that accompanied the sensations coursing through me now. Scratch that thought of dragging this out a little longer, I would be lucky to last a few more minutes…

In the distance a buzzer sounded and it wasn't until Bella was gone from the bed that I realized it was ours. Bella ran to the bathroom to wash her hands, don her robe and then she was darting out to the living room to answer the intercom for the front door of the apartment building. I just lay there stunned, my dick still in hand, although in my shock at Bella's abrupt departure, had stopped dead with the stroking. Fuck!

Obviously the blood was taking a while to get back to my brain because I had no idea who it could be at the door. I heard Bella answer the phone but the identity of the caller was not yet revealed, however, Bella had buzzed them into the apartment building. Oh, maybe it was Jasper? But I doubted it. I had given Jasper a spare key and he had no reason to ring the buzzer to enter the building.

I heard Bella rushing around in the other room and then breezed through our door scowling at my still supine position on the bed.

"Edward, that was my mother downstairs. I suggest you get up and have a shower now, unless you want her to see you like this. She will be here any minute."

I must have drunk more than I'd thought because I'm sure Renee was not due into town until tomorrow afternoon.

"Bella, why is your mother here today? Did I get the dates mixed up or something?"

Bella paused in her rush around the room whilst donning a pair of dark wash jeans and a pretty blouse.

"Edward, this is my mother. She probably got the dates wrong. You know what she's like, baby. So…um…are you getting out of bed any time soon?"

Being cock-blocked twice in less than a half an hour had not done any favors for my still erect dick, first being awakened from my erotic dream and then being rudely interrupted in the midst of Bella sucking on my balls. I needed to come badly, the throbbing ache barely abating as I sat there contemplating my next action. There was no question I needed to shower, the lube was still glistening on my penis and I was antsy as all get out. But, I hated the idea of showering alone and simply relieving the tension while Bella would be out here entertaining her mother. As if she sensed my thoughts, Bella jerked her head towards the bathroom, winked and whispered, "Make it a good one, baby."

The sound of Renee knocking on the apartment door was all the catalyst I needed to scoot out of bed and make my way to the bathroom, pausing only briefly to press my lips to Bella's, and then she was rushing out of the bedroom and closing the door. I quickly ducked into the bathroom and closed the door before Renee entered the apartment. Nobody needed the sound of their future mother-in-law's voice to be the last thing they heard before rubbing one out.

As I turned the taps on in the shower, and stood there while the water warmed up, I kept my hand pumping my cock slowly to maintain the erection I'd had from earlier. Up and down, a little distractedly as I thought back on Bella's warm mouth around my sac to the image of her pinching her nipples and circling her clit. Bloody cock-blocking Renee! I'd rather have Bella in here with me continuing where we left off than finishing off alone.

I stepped into the shower recess and stood under the warm water hoping it would calm me down. I contemplated stopping what I was doing and waiting until Bella and I went to bed later tonight, but if my previous experiences with visits from Bella's mother were repeated, we would only be sleeping in the bed tonight. I thought she was a little irrational in this situation as Bella was a grown woman and there was nothing wrong in my eyes if we chose to be physical while Bella's mother was staying with us. Bella, on the other hand, continually worried what her mother might think if she heard us through the walls.

Once I was clean, I directed the nozzle towards the wall of the shower and warmed the tiles sufficient for me to lean against them without getting a chill. As I soaped up my hands and circled them once more around myself, I closed my eyes and conjured up images of Bella leaning against the wall watching me touch myself. I catalogued everything from the darkness of her eyes as she had stared at me, the white of her teeth as they bit at her bottom lip as her arousal has started to mount, the pink hard tips of her nipples, the pale skin of her stomach and the softness of the short dark curls covering the top of her mons.

My dick thanked me for finally getting down to business by lengthening and adding a little drop of pre-cum to the general slipperiness. I didn't want to stay in the shower for too long; Bella didn't need Renee to raise questions, so I pumped a little harder and tighter just below the head where I was most sensitive. The resulting surge of feeling weakened my knees and I sagged against the wall. I bit my lip to stop the involuntary groan from escaping and braced myself with one hand against the wall as I continued to pump, faster and faster, towards my climax.

Images of Bella taking me in her mouth, bent over the counter in the kitchen, her lower pussy lips bare and glistening teasing me, and then unexpectedly an image of Jasper from my dream earlier took hold in my mind and refused to budge. I was back in the gay club I had gone to that one time but this time it was Jasper I was dancing with. Jasper held me close to his chest as we danced, one hand entwined in my hair. It was Jasper's mouth I experimented on with a kiss so sweet and tender and so unlike the kiss I had accepted in actuality from the good looking stranger.

My mind screamed NO! But my body was oblivious to the mental anguish of the outcome of these thoughts. My dick, if anything, was harder than before, and my hand refused to slow down in its assault on the sensitive skin beneath it. I tried harder to displace the images of Jasper with those of Bella, but failed miserably. One after another the images from my dream kept coming.

Jasper biting my lower lip before sliding his tongue inside and claiming my mouth with his. Jasper gripping the back of my neck tightly as his lips became more insistent. Jasper's erection pressing into my own as we swayed to the music. Jasper's fingers entwined with mine as he drew me towards the back of the club and into the dim recesses, the sounds of zippers being lowered, groans and moans and slurping sounds echoing off the walls of the narrow hallway I could only imagine as I'd declined all offers in real life. Jasper dropping to his haunches and looking up at me, his blue eyes never wavering from mine as he lowered the zipper on my jeans, and without missing a beat, took my springing erection into his mouth and sucked me in.

The feelings of what Bella had just been doing superimposed themselves over the images from my dream and this time it was Jasper's tongue that lapped at my balls and his moistened finger that slid into me as I stood there pressed against the wall, my hand flying now with little short erratic jerks. "Oh fuck, I'm gonna come," I whispered to no-one. White streams of cum erupted out of my flushed, pulsing cock, splattering in large globs against the pristine pale blue tiles before sliding down and pooling in the base of the shower.

My breathing was labored, my skin was flushed, my lip was more than likely bruised from where I had been bearing down on it to stay the shout issuing from my mouth and alerting the occupants of the apartment of my pleasure. Stunned with what had just happened, I slid to the floor under the flow of the water, my cum-covered fingers still wrapped around myself as I twitched with strong aftershocks.

Fuck.

What the hell?

The bathroom door opened and I looked up startled as Bella poked her head around the door smiling widely when she saw me panting on the floor of the shower, covered in my own cum.

"Fuck, Edward. I sure got you worked up before, didn't I? I'm sorry to have missed your grand finale, babe," She eyed me with darkened eyes for a moment, looking like she was going to join me, then I could see sanity returning as she remembered her mother in the other room. "Um, when you're ready, can you pop down the road for a bottle of wine while I make dinner for us?"

I nodded mutely, unable to do anything more and she turned to walk back out the door, chuckling to herself.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. Jasper rang before and said he'd run into some friends while he was out earlier. He's heading over to some club with them tonight and won't be back till late."

Fuck! Jasper.

In one week I was marrying Bella. I loved Bella. So why the fuck was this happening to me? Why did I just come like a freight train at the thought of being with Jasper?

Fuck!