Hey Kid...

One-Shot

by Methinks

-----

Important Note: This is not an actual story. I wrote this up a while back as the beginning idea for a new project but it quickly got shelved in favor of other things. I found this again last week while digging through my back-up folder and decided - since there's so many other things I want to write more that this is never going to get finished - to just put it up as is for your reading entertainment. There's no polish to this, dear audience, and there will be errors. I'll take any criticisms that come my way regarding stylistic problems, but if there's something wrong with the grammar or you don't believe Naruto would act a certain way - I don't care. Again, I just felt some of you might like to see this; that's the only reason this is up.

Long story, short: This is the unpolished beginning to a story that will never be written (by me). This is for your base viewing entertainment only. Please, no flames.

-----

Naruto meandered aimlessly through the streets of Konoha, disguised under the henge of a middle-aged merchant in order to keep the ANBU Tsunade would no doubt send after him from finding him. Now that he thought about it, perhaps slipping a jug of drugged sake to Tsunade underneath Shizune's watchful eyes and then scampering off as soon as the woman had passed out hadn't been the best way of dealing with things. If only because the hangover that she was going to have was going to piss her off even more when they finally did catch him.

But he simply hadn't been able to take any more of the endless staring at ridiculous forms and petitions any longer; ever since the decision had been made to appoint him as the future Rokudaime he had spent more time sitting at a desk in Tsunade's office doing her paperwork than he had outside. All under the pretext of him learning how to govern the village, of course. Just because he wasn't as hyperactive as he used to be didn't mean he could sit still behind a desk for days on end. It seemed like it had been ages ago since he'd last gone on a mission.

So caught up in his internal ranting, he never even noticed the rapidly growing commotion around him until something ran straight into his shins. Looking down he was surprised to find a young boy glaring up at him as he picked himself off the ground. "Watch where you're going, you old fart!"

Naruto snorted. "Like you were being any more careful."

Suddenly a panicked look crossed the kid's face as an angry looking vendor barreled into sight. "You there!" He pointed at Naruto. "Grab him!"

The kid tried to dash away, but Naruto was simply too fast for him. Making sure to keep a tight grip on the kid's shoulder, he pulled him out of the center of the road and over to where the vendor stood trying to catch his breath. "What's going on here?" Naruto asked calmly.

"That brat stole valuable fruits from me!" The words seemed oddly familiar to Naruto and he found himself suppressing a sudden surge of dislike for the man.

The kid, now that he knew he was caught, turned and shouted defiantly back at the man, "It was a just bunch of apples!"

Suddenly Naruto realized exactly where he had seen this before. He had seen this exact same scene time and time again when he was a child. He had been part of it. Everything but the players was exactly the same; all the way down to the cruel gleam in the merchant's eyes. This time, as he felt anger rise up in him, he didn't try half as hard to stop it.

"They were apples from Suna!"

"You can't even grow apples in Suna!"

"That's why they're so valuable!"

"Enough!" shouted Naruto, startling the two of them. Taking a breath to calm himself, he asked, "How much did he steal?"

The man settled his calculating gaze on the kid greedily. "400 yen worth"

"400!? That's ridiculous..." Naruto gave the kid a quick shake to cut him off.

"How much did he really steal?" Naruto asked coldly, letting just the slightest amount of killing intent fill his aura.

The man scratched the back of his head guiltily. "Perhaps it was more like 200..."

Well aware that he was still being cheated, Naruto shook the kid another time to forestall his protests, before fishing a few spare notes out of his pocket and holding them out to the man. He reached greedily for them, but Naruto pulled them back just out of reach before asking, "What's your name?"

"My name? Kuranosuke Akito. Why?" asked the merchant only half-curious, his eyes fixed on the cash.

"No reason." Naruto handed him the money. "Do you have any other problems with this kid?"

"No, no..." The greedy bastard practically turned and ran off with the money.

As soon as the vendor was out of earshot, the kid started in on Naruto, "Who the hell do you think you are? I could have dealt with that myself!"

Naruto shook him yet again. "I'm sure. And watch your language," he muttered absentmindedly, before thinking aloud to himself, "We've got to move. That was more then enough killing intent for them to notice..."

The kid apparently had some sharp ears. "They would've noticed what? Who's they?" he asked, his curiosity peaked, as Naruto began maneuvering the two of them through the crowd.

"ANBU..." he realized his mistake as soon as the kid's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to scream. Desperate, he slapped a hand over his mouth and pulled the two of them into a nearby alley. Suddenly, he felt two aura's fast approaching. ANBU.

"Shit," Dragging the kid behind a pile of trash, he crouched down and performed a one-handed henge behind his back so the kid wouldn't notice just as the two ANBU jumped down into the street in front of them. "If you know what's good for you, you're going to quit struggling," he whispered furiously to the kid. He felt the kid tense up and then stop moving as the two shinobi moved on, apparently satisfied nothing was happening. As convenient as that was for him, he made a mental note to initiate an impromptu review of the security forces. That sort of carelessness couldn't be tolerated in ANBU if the village was to stay safe.

Releasing the latest henge, he stood back up and took a moment to really get a good look at the kid. He was young, perhaps 9 or 10 years old, and painfully thin. The clothes he wore were far too large for his frame and worn ragged from overuse. He was filthy - he obviously hadn't bathed in several days - and yet despite all the grease and dirt matting his long black hair, it still managed to stick out wildly from his head. However, what caught Naruto most were his eyes. A brilliant icy blue filled with the same look of rebellious disrespect that Naruto himself had worn so often in his earlier years.

"Where's your parents, kid?" the blonde finally asked.

The kid looked down and kicked at a stray can, "Dead..."

"Then who's taking care of you?"

"No one..."

Despite his sympathy for the kid's situation, Naruto felt himself rapidly getting fed up with the his sullen attitude. After all, it wasn't like he'd just helped the kid escape a beating or anything. Was a little gratitude too much to ask? No wonder Iruka had always gotten so pissed off at him when he was younger. "Then where are you staying?"

"They put me in the orphanage..." he muttered. Then looked up and yelled at Naruto, "But I'm not going back there and you can't make me!"

"Why don't you want to go back?"

The kid's sudden defiant attitude swiftly turned back into pouting, "'Cause they hate me there. They're always yelling at me and the other kids steal my food and..." The kid trailed off and turned his face away from Naruto, but not before the blonde got a glimpse of the angry tears running down his face.

"I take it that's why you were stealing those apples?" Naruto asked, uncharacteristically quiet. The kid nodded. The blonde sighed. "What's your name, kid?"

"Sano..."

"Sano..." Naruto hesitated for a moment as an idea began forming in his mind, then asked, "You wanna get something to eat?"

The kid looked back up at Naruto suspiciously. "What's the catch?"

Naruto held up his hands in front of him. "No catch, I swear. Just a bite to eat and I promise I'm not going to drag you back up to the orphanage."

Sano glared at him a moment longer before agreeing. "Fine, but if you try to take me back, I'm just going to run away again."

"I promised, didn't I?"

The boy made a noise that sounded suspiciously like an insult but Naruto ignored it. "What do you wanna eat?"

Sano's eyes lit up. "Ramen!"

Naruto laughed as the two started walked back out into the street. "You and me are gonna get along real well, kid. Ever heard of a place called Ichiraku's?"

"Do they have ramen?"

"The best." Naruto's face suddenly fell. "Damn. They'll be looking for me there..."

The kid stared at him suspiciously again, "ANBU?" Naruto nodded resignedly. "You didn't hurt anybody, did you?"

"Nah," he barely stopped himself from adding a 'not this time at least'. "I kinda skipped work today and my boss is going to be looking for me."

Sano looked skeptical. "There's no way you're a ninja so why would ANBU be looking for you?"

Naruto smirked. He had forgotten about the henge. "She's somewhat important in the village, but she's also a lazy drunk who likes to pawn off all her work on me. So, if I'm not there than she has to do it herself, which means that she's going to try to find me as fast as possible. Hence, ANBU."

Sano still didn't look convinced, but he dropped the subject. Suddenly, a flash of inspiration struck Naruto. "Ha! I know exactly where to go. They'll never look for me there..."

"Where?"

Naruto smirked. "My place."

--

"Whoa..." Sano gasped as they reached Naruto's apartment building. While the blonde had inherited his dad's estate, he'd never been able to convince himself to live there. He just felt ridiculous staying in the enormous manor all by himself. So he'd simply upgraded to a nice apartment complex not far from the Hokage tower instead. It was one of the newer ones, having been rebuilt after Sound's attack, and Naruto had to admit that compared to some of the other buildings in the village it did cut an impressive sight.

"I guess, it's not all that bad," said Naruto, scratching the back of his head embarrassed. "It keeps a roof over my head though and that's all that matters. Come on, I'll show you up." His apartment was on the fourth floor of the building and by the time they had climbed the stairs Sano was out of breath. Naruto looked concernedly at him, a kid his age shouldn't be in such bad shape.

Fishing his keys out of his pocket, he motioned for Sano to follow him down the hall to one of the corner suites. Naruto loved it. His balcony overlooked the Hokage tower, which not only provided an awesome view but an easy jump to the nearby rooftops to get to work in the morning. He called it amazing. Tsunade called it a security risk.

"This is where you live?" Sano asked, still awestruck, as Naruto unlocked the door.

"Yep," Naruto grinned. "Just wait till you see..." He started to open the door but quickly slammed it back shut as the hallway light flooded in and glinted off the dozen kunai scattered around his living room. Panicking, he shut the door and tried frantically to think of something to do. There was no way he could let Sano see those. Why had he decided to sharpen them last night?

"What?" Sano asked suspiciously.

"Just give me a second," Naruto smiled unconvincingly, "It's a little messy right now." He opened the door just enough to slip through and shut it, without giving the kid a chance to reply. Thinking fast, he looked around the room. Clothes lay in scattered piles and there was a stack of pizza boxes and ramen cups sitting by the couch in front of his small tv. What really concerned him was the vast array of ninja tools lying all around the room. Quickly, he summoned up five clones and they gathered everything up and shoved it in his bedroom before closing the door. Dismissing the clones, he went and let Sano inside. "All better."

With the way Sano stared at his apartment, Naruto felt he probably could have left everything out and the kid wouldn't have even noticed. It wasn't a large apartment or real fancy or anything. Just a bedroom, a bathroom, a living room, and a kitchen. All of them relatively small. If he thought this was amazing, than he should see the manor, Naruto thought with a smirk.

But as he watched Sano look around, he couldn't help but think back to what his younger self would have thought of this place. This would have seemed like the height of luxury back then, especially when compared with the crappy old apartment they had shoved him in. "So..." Naruto broke the silence, beginning to get a little bit embarrassed, "How about that ramen?"

Sano looked up eagerly and followed him into the kitchen. "I'm afraid all I have is instant..."

"No problem! I'll eat any kind!" Naruto couldn't help but give a genuine smile at the kid's infectious attitude.

With practiced ease, the future Rokudaime swiftly prepared two cups and then shoved them in the microwave. He noticed the kid looking around confused, "Uh, where do we eat?"

For the first time since he moved in here, Naruto wondered why he didn't have a table. He scratched his head again as he blushed, "I usually just eat on the floor or on the coach..."

Sano shrugged. "Works for me."

The microwave dinged behind Naruto. "So..." he started as he pulled the two cups of instant ramen out of the microwave, "What happened to your parents?"

Sano sat down against one of the kitchen counters and begn to tear into the ramen as soon as Naruto handed him a fork. "They were killed in the battle against the Sound," he managed to get out through a mouth full of food as Naruto joined him on the floor.

Naruto paused, momentarily taken aback as the kid brought up another memory he'd rather have left behind. "I'm sorry."

The kid stopped eating his ramen for a second and gave Naruto a weak smile. "Don't be. I can barely remember them anyways..."

Desperate for a change in subject for both their sakes, Naruto asked, "What do you want to do when you grow up?"

At that Sano's attitude did a complete 180. "I'm going to be a ninja just like Naruto!"

It was all Naruto could do to keep from spraying ramen all over the kitchen. "Naruto...?" he asked weakly.

"Yeah," Sano said loudly. "Don't tell me you haven't heard of him? He's only the coolest ninja alive!"

Naruto was immensely thankful that the henge was hiding his blush. "Is that so?"

"Yeah! He's always protecting the village and killing all sorts of bad guys. He even beat the Kazekage single-handed! And I heard that he was a demon! How cool is that?!"

"I guess maybe I have heard of him..." Naruto muttered. Fortunately, he was spared hearing about more of his accomplishments as Sano realized t his ramen cup was empty and began frowning down at it. "Would you like another one?"

Sano nodded eagerly so Naruto went and stuck another cup in the microwave. With the improvement in attitude, he felt it okay to go back to fishing for information. "Don't you have any other relatives who can take care of you?"

"Nah. I think I might have an aunt living somewhere in Cloud Country, but I don't really know."

"What, child services never found out? They just stuck you in an orphanage after the battle?" Naruto asked incredulously, feeling himself growing irritated again. Sano nodded as the microwave dinged again. "And I take it you've just been there ever since?" the blonde asked as he retrieved the ramen and handed it to the kid.

"Yeah," Sano said between mouthfuls. Then he glared at Naruto "But I'm not going back!"

Naruto smiled disarmingly. "Nobody said you had to..."

Suddenly, Naruto heard a knock on his door. Just as he reached to open it though, it was bashed in, the wood striking Naruto and causing him to go flying back painfully into his wall. His protests of anger were cut off though as he saw the person silhouetted in the door frame. "Tsunade-baachan..."

"Don't Tsunade-baachan me, Naruto. You are so dead for that stunt you pulled! Here I was thinking that you were actually doing something nice for once. And then I find out that you were just trying to GET ME DRUNK SO YOU COULD PLAY HOOKY!" The last words were shouted right in his face. For emphasis of course.

"Well it worked, didn't it?" he muttered sullenly.

Tsunade hit him hard on the head. "And what the hell are you doing anyway looking like that?" Suddenly she noticed Sano sitting on the floor staring open mouthed at the pair. "And who's the brat?"

"Baachan, Sano. Sano, Baachan." he muttered.

"You... you're the Hokage!" Sano whispered awe-struck. "And that means... you can't be Naruto!?"

Amused, Tsunade hauled Naruto up by one ear before dispelling his henge. "Of course, this is Naruto. What other loud-mouthed, ungrateful blonde would run off and leave his Hokage in her time of need."

"Or you could, you know, JUST DO YOUR JOB!" Naruto yelled, rubbing his ear.

"WHY DO YOU THINK I WORKED SO HARD TO GET YOU NEXT IN LINE? IT CERTAINLY WASN'T FOR YOUR LOOKS!"

"LIKE YOU CAN TALK, YOU OLD HAG!"

"STUPID BRAT!"

"LAZY DRUNK!"

Seemingly as one, the two remembered their audience and turned to look at him. The kid was still in shock from finding out that he had been eating lunch with his own personal hero. "What's with the kid, Naruto?" Tsunade asked quietly.

"Caught him running from a merchant after stealing apples on the street to eat."

Tsunade gave him a knowing look, "Naruto, I don't think..."

He cut her off, "Orochimaru killed his parents and they just shoved him in an orphanage. Hm, where have I heard that one before?" he asked with uncharacteristic sarcasm.

"Look..."

"Just don't, Tsunade. I still remember what it was like growing up where nobody wanted you."

"Naruto..." She said warningly.

"You can't stop me."

"You're making a mistake!"

"I've already made up my mind."

"Naruto!" She yelled.

He ignored her. "Hey kid, you wanna stay with me?"

-----

Author's Notes:

So there it is. Take from it what you will. Re-reading it this one last time before I post it, I can list at least a baker's dozen story or characterization things that I'd change but all in all I'm pretty satisfied with this as it is. Like I said before, this story's going nowhere and thus I can quite happily leave it the way it is.

That said, if somebody wants this, you're more than welcome to take it - provided you ask first. Seriously, that's all I'm asking for. Not much at all, hardly anything really... Just a little 'pretty please with a cherry on top' and you'll have your very own 'Naruto as a father' story to write.

I'll re-iterate one last time what I said at the top... by directing you to read what I wrote at the top. And finally, I hope you enjoyed this. If you did, may I suggest taking a look at my other stories - one's I'm actually devoting attention to you. And if not, may I suggest taking a look at the anyways. Maybe you'll like them better.

Cheers.

-----

Published: 04.02.10

Updated: