AN: Well, I've been working on this for while and it's finally come together. I hope you like :) Oh calling all Loliver fanfic WRITErs....That means you write. Haven't seen much of that lately...yes, I guilt trip. :) Anyway, read and enjoy :)

I escape from my friends and family as I go into the dressing room. I tell the dress consultant I need some time. She leaves me alone. This room. This stifling, beautiful, grandiose room is so anticlimactic.

This room, I've been dreaming of coming in here forever ever since I said, "Yes". It's not the honeymoon suite, but yes I have dreamed a whole lot about that too. It's the place where I find the dream dress and start off my life with my dream guy. Why does it never end up how I want it to? It's just me a bunch of gorgeous white dresses, high heels, veils and my phone in my purse on the vanity. I feel so out of place. I knew I should've had Ollie come with me…. My fingers are shaky as I type in the number on my phone. I search around the room. It's too big, why do I feel so cramped, though?

I pull at the dress on me. It's not me. Nothing I've tried on is me. Nothing here says or even whispers Lillian Truscott, soon to be Oken.

I type the full number in on my phone and use my right hand to put it up to my ear as I look at my left hand and the big piece of clunky jewelry on my ring finger. It's so big and shiny and flashy. How did he even afford this? The ring is not the only reason I'm calling him, but it contributes to it. I'm at the end of my rope, and I have to let him know everything I'm going through.

As soon as I put it to my ear I hear rings: the rings that I usually loathe, because they are taking time away from me talking to Oliver; though this time I welcome them with open arms. He however does not have an inkling of how I am feeling/ how I'm trying to prolong this confrontation, so he answers on the first ring.

"Hey, Lilly-Pop. How's it going?" he says with a smile.

"Oliver." I sigh.

"Yeah, the one and only. What's wrong, babe?" he asks. I know he's at work right now, but I have to let him know.

"Everything." I say and begin to break down. I sit at the vanity with my legs crossed and stare at the dresses, the veils, the heels, the perfect pictures of the perfect bride. The perfect bride looks too perfect. I look in the mirror and everything about the beautiful women on the poster don't even look like me. I don't even look a teeny tiny bit like the perfect couple who are smiling at one another clad in their wedding attire and holding each other's hands and gazing sweetly into each other's eyes. They just scream: "I love you and am not having any second thoughts." I wish I was the beautiful girl without having second thoughts.

"Elaborate." he says into the phone and I can hear the nervousness in his voice, "Baby, are you okay?"

"We're getting married in a month…" I sigh stating the obvious that up until this point I've been ecstatic about. How is it that choosing the dress has opened up feelings I didn't even know I had pent up inside?

"I know." My fiancé says and I can sense the huge grin on his face. It's the complete opposite on how I am feeling.

"I'm not ready." I say quickly.

"What?" he asks, "Slow down, Lilly-Pop. I can't understand you. Something must be wrong, you always talk fast like that when it is, and now look at me I'm nervous cause your nervous. I'll just stop talking so you can go on. So what's wrong, my future bride?" my fiancé rambles.

"I'm. Not. Ready." I say, enunciating as I play with the hem on the current gown I'm wearing, kick the bright white heels off my feet and pull off my veil. Taking off the small accessories seem to make it easier to breathe and open up the room more.

"This isn't cold feet is it?" he asks inhaling sharply and his voice is shaky. In high school when he thought I was breaking up with him he begged me to stay. I should've expected a little bit of a freak out. I'm not ready to be the one who makes him freak out. Simply, I'm just not ready.

"I don't know. I just need a break." I wipe my eyes and I'm suddenly thankful that I borrowed Miley's waterproof mascara. She said I'd cry my eyes out…she was just about right.

"But Lils-" he pauses, "You're getting the dress right now." he says, it almost seems as if it's a beg. I expected him to beg, but I told myself I'd say 'no' no matter what. I need this. I do. I really need this.

"I know, but nothing is working out right." I verbalize trying to hold in the tears that are about to spill over.

"The dress or the whole situation?" I hear him ask and I wonder how he truly knows me so well.

"Everything." I say burying my head into my hands and holding back tears.

"Do I need to swoop in and come to the rescue?" he asks chuckling a bit. Oh what I would do to be with him right now. I just need his arms around me, my head in his neck, his lips on mine…Snap out of it Lilly!

"No." I say sharply after a long pause and a couple 'Lilly are you there?' s, "When I say I need a break from everything going on right now…that most definitely includes you." I can't believe I'm telling him this over the phone.

"Wait? Are you breaking up with me?" his breath hitches when he asks me.

"No. Just give me a few days, please." I beg. I'm pretty sure I'm not breaking up with him, but I really don't know….

"Well, I don't really understand what's going on. But I just want you to be happy, and if you need a break right now before deciding to spend the rest of your life with me then so be it. I'll keep out of your life for three days but that's it. I love you. Don't forget that." I hear a long sigh and I'm wondering if I should've even called him, maybe I should've just left.

"Love you too." I say trying not to sob, but this is what I need to do. It's what I must do. I just hope I don't hurt anyone in the end.

I close my phone and place it back on the vanity. I slip out of the gown that falls to the ground as if a cloud underneath me. I step out of it and pick my t-shirt and jeans up off the floor. I pull the t-shirt over my head and I smell him, I smell his cologne. I inhale deeply and wonder 'Why am I doing this?'

I really don't know why I am, it just seems like the right thing to do. I pull my jeans on and button them and slip into the flats I have and I pull my hair up. I look in the mirror this is the real Lilly Truscott. A t-shirt, jeans kinda girl, not someone who is ready to give that up and put on a princess wedding gown for a couple hours and give up my life to someone. Its true though that there is no one else I'd rather be with, but if he annoys me constantly after I've been with him for years. How will it be if we're living together that's a constant annoyance. He annoys me when he doesn't put his toothbrush back where it needs to be….how am I supposed to live with that? I breathe and walk out of the dressing room empty handed.

I walk out of the bridal dressing room and Miley runs over to me and clasps my hands in hers, "Did you find the perfect dress?!"
"Did you find one?" my mom asks.
"She had to have, Heather…look at those tears." Miley squeals about to go into a happy dance. I look at her frowning and she stops mid-dance and puts her arm around me.

My mom walks over to me, "Lilly, honey, which one did you choose?" she says with a bright smile.

"I can ring it up right now if you tell me what it is." The dress consultant says.

"Can we just go?" I say welling up.

"Oh, okay…sure sweetheart." My mom says as we all walk to her car. I let Miley sit in the front as I sulk in the back.

It's obvious they don't know what's going on with the glances they are giving each other. Everything is silent as I sit in the back.

"Mom, can you just drop me off at my apartment. I know we planned a girls night, but I just need some alone time." I finally speak from the backseat.

"Sure." She says and U-turns so she can take me home. After about another 10 minutes of silence we are at my house where I get out and leave my best friend and my mother alone as I go inside my apartment and collapse on the couch. I inhale and I can smell him and I see that he had left his boxers on the floor yet again!!! I groan instead of breaking into tears and I fight back calling him and yelling at him and then expecting a sweet make up.

I can't escape him.

I go to my bed and collapse. I bury my head in my pillow and sob. I smell his cologne and his multiple hair products. My man has a lot of these, yet he still gets a ton of knots in his hair. Go figure…

I can't escape him.
I get up and pick up my phone and automatically my fingers begin to type in his phone number. I stop myself as I'm about to click 'call'. Oh boy, this isn't good. I just need a couple days of freedom.

I can't escape him. I'm too overwhelmed. I need a break.

I grab the phone book and search for some sort of retreat or break or….Hmm mountain cabin, 'Away from all the worries and stresses of living in high maintenance Cali' I grab a marker circle the number on the page and call them making myself a mini vacation starting tomorrow at 7. I'm surprised I got in that quickly, but I did and now I go and pack.

As I pack I leave the heavy engagement ring on my finger and toy with it.

It's just a piece of metal with a diamond on top. That's all it is, nothing more. Why is it giving me so many problems? I mean of course the circle is supposed to stand for the way the circle never ends, neither will our marriage. Marriage, oh my….

I've always wanted to marry Ollie and I'd dreamt about it since I was six. The dress I'd pictured myself in was the first I'd tried on in the bridal store. It was a beautiful dress but as soon as I put it on me my opinion changed. I took a good look at myself; the dress wasn't me… at all. I felt this same way at prom until I found the white/black dress and slipped on the black wristband. It was me, and then Oliver with his tux and his Vans on. It was us: blending in but with our own little flare. That's who Oliver and I are. So far planning this wedding has been the farthest thing from that.

AN: Yeah, it was pretty short BUT there's a WHOLE lot more to come! Thanks for reading and please review :)
~IheartORANGE~