Going Green, by DoofusPrime

Notes: This story was the winner of MrDrP's "Valentine's Day Eye Eye Eye" contest, which was held on the Kim Possible Discussion forum. Thanks to MrDrP for choosing this as the winner! Also, this story takes place after the episode "Blush", but it is not necessary to have seen the episode to read or understand the story. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. This work was not created for profit. No copyright infringement is intended.

Best Laid Plans

XX

Kim could swear that she was floating in the air. She lay stretched across the sheets of her loft room bed, legs dangling over its edge, arms wrapped over a pillow which her hands clenched gleefully. The bed was a balloon on the verge of sailing out her open window. It was a magic carpet, taking her for a ride. She was on cloud nine.

"Oh, it was amazing, Ron! Everything was just perfect!"

Ron sat in a desk chair which he had turned around from the computer in order to face Kim's bed. His legs were crossed as he leaned lazily to the side. The palm of his hand cupped a chin and propped up a face that was skeptically observing Kim's joy. Ron had been listening to his best friend talk about her date with Josh Mankey for the last hour. The date had happened the previous night, but Kim had called her best friend to come over tonight so she could talk about it. The date sure didn't sound perfect to Ron. Embarrassment ninjas? Whoopee cushions? For the love of all that is good and holy, french fries dipped in a milk shake? It sounded like Ron's idea of a nightmare. Not to mention Kim had almost embarrassed herself out of existence before Ron came to the rescue.

"Sounds like you had a good time, KP. You guys gonna go out again?"

"Oh, definitely! You should have seen the kiss at the end of the date, it was magical!"

"I'll just imagine that one, thanks."

Kim sighed as she stared up at the ceiling with a smile. Everything about Josh was so dreamy. Those hypnotic blue eyes, that frosted hair, his good-natured laugh, the crazy things he did with milkshakes. Ron had told her in the past that she could get any guy she wanted, and while she was crushing on Josh, she remembered Ron's comment that Josh would be crazy to turn her down if she could just ask him out. But Josh had actually called her! It had been the best Friday night she could remember.

"So Kim, what's up tomorrow? You wanna go chill at Bueno Nacho?"

"No, Josh and I are going to be hanging out. He's going to show me some of his artwork!"

Ron felt his eye begin to twitch. Kim and Josh were hanging out that fast? So much for his lazy weekend plans with his best friend. He really was happy for Kim – she had seemed so hung up over Josh, so unlike her usual self, that it was nice for her to finally get what she wanted - but something about it bothered him.

He got up and stretched his arms out in an exaggerated fashion. "Alright, well, it's getting a bit late. I guess I'm gonna go home and hit the sack! I'm glad you had a nice date, KP."

Ron waited for a response, but Kim only nodded vaguely at him. As he walked down the loft stairs, Ron began to feel increasingly annoyed as he thought of his friend's behavior. He walked by Anne Possible in a huff on his way to the front door. Kim's mother was sitting at the kitchen table, looking through some work notes, and noticed Ron's strange behavior as he passed by.

"Hello Ron, everything alright? You usually don't leave this early."

"Yeah, I'm cool Mrs. Dr. P. Cool as a cucumber. Definitely not upset by Kim or anything. Josh? Who said anything about Josh?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Uhh... gotta go!" Ron exited the house in a hurry and leaped onto the blue scooter parked in the driveway. Why was this bothering him so much? Ron glowered, deep in thought, as the scooter puttered steadily down the road. Josh wasn't such a bad guy, really. A very unfortunate last name perhaps, but Ron admitted that holding Josh's name against him would be calling the kettle black. And Ron was no pot.

As Ron continued to think about the one-sided conversation that had taken place in Kim's loft, he realized that Kim had never thanked him for saving her life. Not once. Ron and Wade had both told her to stay in her room until Ron could get back from the Amazon with the antidote, and yet she almost embarrassed herself out of existence by risking a date with Josh. Ron almost got eaten by a jungle cat to save her, and this was the thanks he got? Not to mention the Amazonian rain forest was probably teeming with monkeys. Ron wasn't really sure, but it was a jungle. That's where monkeys lived! Okay, so he hadn't actually seen any, but it was a close call. Risking monkeys for Mankey... Ron suddenly felt like he was being walked on. He felt a dark weight in the pit of his stomach as the scooter inched its way towards his house.

The weight suddenly twisted and turned, melting away as a thought took hold of his mind. His sour expression reshaped itself into a smile. Josh didn't get walked on. He had gotten what he wanted by taking the initiative. Maybe Ron would take a page from Mankey's book!

XX

"Foiled again! Curse that Kim Possible!"

Drakken crossed his arms in a huff as he sat at the round operations table of his lair. Various papers were scattered over the table, covered in scribbles and poorly drawn diagrams of Kim Possible holding her hand to her mouth in embarrassment. A tiny blue fist slammed against the table in frustration. Drakken could have sworn this latest plan was unbeatable – what better way to defeat a teen than use their own insecurity against them? And Kim was on a first date, no less! Drakken did not count on this particular teen's ego having such a thick white underbelly.

"You know, if it makes you feel any better Doctor D, I actually thought it was a halfway decent plan. Doomed to fail of course, but some good laughs along the way!"

The blue villain ignored Shego's barbed compliment as he paced anxiously around the room. He noticed a foul odor emanating from his body; it was the B.O. canister that had been thrown into their hovercraft. He regretted hiring embarrassment ninjas to try to humiliate his foe. Hopefully the smell would be washed out in the laundry. Drakken racked his brain to figure out where he had gone wrong, but he could not think of anything. Maybe Kim Possible really was all that.

Drakken looked at the spraying nozzle and backpack filled with serum that he had tried using in his failed scheme. The serum, made from a tropical flower, had the unique effect of causing anyone sprayed with it to gradually disappear if they were embarrassed enough. It had almost worked on that blasted red-haired teen, at least until her sidekick – whatever his name was - had cured her at the last second.

"Arrrggghhh! Useless thing!" Drakken smacked the plastic backpack filled with embarrassment serum in a sudden burst of anger. The pack fell over, sending the nozzle whipping into the air as it released a spray of noxious vapor into Drakken's face. He backed away, blinking in surprise, and attempted to wipe the vapor away from his face. Unfortunately, it had already dissipated.

"Did you seriously just do that? Oh, man. Smooth move Doctor D!" Shego doubled over in laughter.

"Shego! This is not amusing! I don't have any antidote with me!"

The black-haired sidekick's head tilted back as she laughed harder. "No antidote? Oh man, Doctor D, this must be really embarrassing for you!"

Drakken stumbled around aimlessly, not sure what to do. Hearing Shego's comment, he stopped and held his hands out in horror as they faded away into nothingness. "Noooo!"

Shego stared at the scene before her and stopped laughing. She still found the situation amusing, but she decided that Drakken wasn't so annoying that she wanted him to wink out of existence. Not yet, at least.

"Why in the world don't you have any antidote?"

"It's the pollen from the same tropical flower that creates the embarrassment serum itself. I used all of my supply in creating the serum because I wanted as much as I could create in order to defeat Kim Possible!"

Shego held up her hands. "Ok, chill out. This is no big deal, we'll just have to get you the antidote while you stay here in the lair. Nothing to be embarrassed about in here... that I know of, anyways. So, I forgot what you mentioned earlier - where can I get this flower again?"

Drakken was silent for a moment as he considered his response to the question.

"Promise you won't hit me, Shego?"

XX

A pleasant breeze brushed against Bonnie Rockwaller's tanned skin from her open bedroom window. It rustled some of the lighter articles of colorful clothing that were scattered around her floor and bedspread. A pair of closet doors hung open, revealing a row of hangars illuminated by the harsh closet light and mostly bereft of clothing. Bonnie was reorganizing her wardrobe and deciding what was out of fashion. She did not want to leave her room and deal with her family, but more importantly, she needed something to occupy her time. If she wasn't busy with something, she'd be thinking about Brick.

She had broken up with her quarterback boyfriend a few days ago, yet again. Bonnie had lost track of how many times they had broken up and gotten back together again, but this time she swore it would be the last. Brick was not a bad guy, but he could be insensitive, and wasn't really very interesting at all. In her meaner moments, of which there were many, Bonnie thought his name was an apt description of his intelligence. Brick was a useful trophy boyfriend – built like a Greek God, star of the football team – but to be honest, she was just tired of him. She needed a new boy with which to toy. But who fit the bill?

Bonnie jumped as the cell phone on her bedside table rang out. She flipped it open but did not recognize the number of the caller. "Hello?" she asked curiously.

"Hey, is this the residence of Bonnie Rockwaller?"

"Speaking!"

"Oh hey Bonnie! It's Ron. Ron Stoppable?"

Bonnie sat on the side of her bed with the phone cradled against her ear and a completely blank expression on her face. Ron Stoppable? Kim's non-boyfriend-friend? Calling her?

"Okay... hi."

"Hi Bonnie. It's Ron."

"Yes, you said that. How did you get my cell number?"

"It's listed in the yearbook. Right under your personal quote, you know, 'Available for modeling work, no job too sexy'. That's just begging for prank calls by the way."

"Believe me, I know that now." Bonnie remembered the week after the yearbook had been distributed. That had been an uncomfortable week. "So why are you calling me?"

"Bonnie, let's go out on a date."

Outside Bonnie's bedroom window, her neighborhood was quiet except for the chirping of crickets and the passing of an occasional car. Lights turned on in nearby houses as the pleasant silence of the cool spring air was pierced by a laugh that could be heard from blocks away.

"What makes you think you're allowed to date me, loser?"

"Come on Bonnie, you know you're secretly intrigued by the Ron man. I got lots to offer!"

"Such as?"

The voice on the other side of Bonnie's phone fell silent.

Bonnie smirked. "That is so convincing, Ronnie!"

"Okay, look. I'll just come right out and say it. I'm kind of annoyed with Kim right now, and we both know you take any chance to get under her skin, so I guess I'm proposing to you."

"What?"

"No, I mean, giving you a proposal. A proposition, I'm propositioning – look, I'm saying, let's go out, and it will annoy Kim, okay?"

Bonnie listened with what she hated to admit was increasing interest. However, she was still a bit confused. "Why would that bug Kim? You guys aren't an item, unless you're holding out on me here. Are you?"

"No, we're just friends. But you and Kim are at each other's throats all the time. You're like Britina and she's like that other girl that Britina's always fighting with. You know, on True Tinseltown Tales!"

"The point, Ron, get there faster! I'm bored!" Bonnie stared at her nails, trying to feign disinterest even though Ron could not see her through the phone. For Bonnie, feigning disinterest in people lower on the food chain that her was something akin to breathing, or doing well at cheering. It was just second nature.

"I'm Kim's best friend, Bonnie. At least that's what I thought. If we're going out, you're one-upping her. You're walking all over her girl territory! You're basically squatting down and marking -"

"Do not finish that sentence."

Bonnie had to admit she was very intrigued. She would never have considered going out with Ron, but somehow she knew there was not much else she could do that would annoy Kim more. Not only that, but there was no telling what kinds of delicious dirt she could dig up on Kim through her dorky best friend.

Being seen with Ron in public could be a major problem, though - what effect would it have on her position in the food chain? As Bonnie considered it further, she realized that she was the one who made a lot of those food chain rules in the first place. If she was seen going out with Ron, then Ron would go up in status at least temporarily, just because Bonnie said so. Not only that, but she could tell her friends she was doing it as a joke, just to toy with Ron and Kim. She decided that this sudden opportunity was interesting enough to be worth the risk. But what if it was a trap?

"How do I know you're serious about this, Ron? I'm not saying I don't like the sudden mean streak, but you and Kim have been friends for a while. What's with the scheming?"

"That's my business. I just don't want to be taken for granted anymore. Maybe this will open up Kim's eyes a bit." After a pause, Ron added, "We don't even really have to go out on a date if you don't want to. We can just let her see us at school a couple times like we're going out, that's all."

Bonnie made up her mind. Trick or no trick, she couldn't resist passing it up. Besides, she needed something amusing to keep her mind off of Brick and her family, and this would do the job nicely. Still, she wanted to meet Ron tomorrow, before the weekend was over, and see if this was for real.

"Okay dork, I'm interested. But we need to meet sometime before we go back to school on Monday. Why don't you pick me for dinner tomorrow evening at seven?"

"Alright, badical!"

Bonnie spoke sweetly into the phone. "You show up or you'll be in deep trouble, Ronnie. See you then!"

Bonnie hung up and considered the strange opportunity that had just fallen into her lap. Ron could prove useful in many ways. She propped up her leg against the side of the bed and began to stretch, preparing to work on a few cheering and dancing moves, since she was tired of organizing her clothing. There was an upcoming cheer contest in a couple of weeks for which she – along with most of the cheer squad – had been practicing hard. Kim would be competing; with Ron on her side, perhaps Bonnie could throw a wrench in Kim's plans. Or maybe she could get Ron to find out what Kim was planning and make some changes to her own routine. Yes, Ron could be useful indeed.