Hey, guys,
Oh-kaay… (take a deep breath…) sorry for those who thought there was another chapter, that's not it… I just thought that I should answer some comments I have received concerning this story and maybe apologize if it has offended anyone.
I honestly can say I was expecting about anything, from you really suck to stick to your own language, will you? but certainly not for this to be considered as a 'rape story' because that was clearly not how I saw it, and neither how I meant to write it (which probably proves what a poor job I have done with this story but whatever, I guess that's another story altogether lol)
It might have looked like Carlisle was forcing Bella to have sex with him in the beginning (although I personally saw it as more like 'coaxing' her into it and persuading her) but I thought it was pretty obvious where Bella's hesitancy stemmed from when she was saying no, or telling him that he couldn't do that to her.
It was probably not clear enough but for me, it wasn't so much about Bella not wanting to have sex with Carlisle (she definitely did, at least in my mind… I mean, not necessarily with Carlisle, but the sex part at least) but more about the fact that she didn't want to betray Edward… I thought it was clear she was having kind of a war between what her body craved and what her mind or head was telling her she should or shouldn't do, but that in the end it was just her body winning the war, and maybe her mind admitting that Carlisle was right in a way and that Edward would probably not touch her while she was human if that meant she would have to bleed, which allowed her to forget, at least for a while, about what consequences what she was doing could have and just go for/with it.
As I saw it, Bella wouldn't have let him do to her what he did, or done with him all she did if she, ultimately, hadn't wanted it. I'm not pretending they made love, because I clearly stated that Bella 'knew' she wasn't in love with Carlisle, they fucked, clearly, but that didn't mean (at least, once more, for me) that she was not completely willing and consenting after a while.
I can admit though, that Carlisle definitely took advantage of her weakness, knowing that her body wouldn't be able to resist what he was offering her and what she had wanted Edward to give her, and if that makes him a bad guy, yeah, he probably is, I can definitely see him like that, I mean like the guy who knew when to take advantage of a situation. Don't know if it's any clearer or if it changes anything, but yeah… those are just my thoughts.
I'm personally not offended, although a bit sad and upset to see that what was meant for fun (I like writing and S. Meyer's characters just allowed me to find some material to do so) has apparently hurt some people's feelings, so if I have offended anyone, make them feel guilty or disgusted for reading, or have any other negative feeling… I'm sorry for that fact, that was really never my intention, that's just not the kind of person I am (I mean I'm definitely not someone who enjoys hurting or offending people) or the kind of story I wanted to relate and I can say, honestly, that if I had considered myself that I was indeed writing that kind of story, I would have definitely given fair warning to the potential readers. Thought the warning at the beginning was enough, which apparently wasn't, but well… I'll go change that… if I don't completely delete the story… I can say I'm honestly considering it or at least maybe reworking on it… I just don't think I can make a decision right now or if in the end I'm gonna even write a sequel to this… I'm just… well… I'll just think about it, just not right now.
In any case, I also wanted to thank everyone who left a comment… I replied to some of you, even if I haven't had time to answer every review just yet, but know that every word has been read and dearly appreciated. Thanks so!
Take Care!