Aaron watched Reid talking to the victim's family. It was amazing the change that had taken place in the last two months. The SVU Detectives had reported that they were able to get a probationary sentencing against his father without his testimony. The man wouldn't be going to jail but he would be doing community service at the LV jail and he was restricted from leaving the state and had a restraining order to keep him from seeing Spencer whenever he was there visiting his mother.

He walked over and placed his hand on Spencer's shoulder and was pleased to see that there wasn't even a slight flinch. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah." Reid turned back to the family. "I hope you all are able to move past this. Please try the support group that I gave you. I know the organizer and he would be happy to work with you. If there is anything I can do to help, here's my card."

The two agents walked out of the glass front doors and headed to the black SUV that had been left for them.

"How did you get stuck with just me?"

"Everyone else was ready but you were still helping the family. I volunteered to let them go if they wanted to crowd in the other vehicle and I would bring you." He pulled onto the express way heading for the airport.

"You could have just said something."

"No, what you were doing was important. I'm proud of you you know." He saw the young man whip his head around. It was almost comical.

"Why?"

"Because I know how far you have come to be able to connect with the family and to help them see the other side. Do you remember your first case with the BAU?"

"Uh, sure."

"I remember how this young man was smarter than anyone in the room but he was afraid to speak up. But when it came to a distraught father wanting to see his murdered daughter's body, you stepped up and knew exactly what to say to get through to that man."

"I guess I was still naive then." Spencer fidgeted with the hem of his sweater vest.

"No. You let your heart lead you in dealing with the man's feelings. But the years of cases, your mother's ups and downs, Gideon screwing with your head, Hankel and his drugs, they all took their toll and you pulled back. You became afraid of getting hurt and seeming weak." Hotch looked over to see Reid flexing his hands against his thighs.

"And your father and his abandonment, abuse when you were little, and then the return of everything you thought you had gotten past. I'm so proud of you that you didn't shut down and you're letting people in again." He reached over and squeezed the bony fingers.

"That means a lot. It has really helped being able to stay at your place and have someone to talk to. Detective Betts has been really great, too. But like us, his job makes him not always available."

They pulled in and parked. "After we get settled on the plane, there is something that I want to talk to you about." Hotch said.

***

Reid and Hotch stowed their bags and then settled in seats facing each other. Once the plane was in the air and the engines had leveled to an acceptable noise he began. "Reid you've been staying with me for two months now. Have you thought about your long term plans?" He watched the younger man looking at his feet and fidgeting with his fingers.

"Uh, I've tried looking for a new place but a case keeps coming up and by the time I get back to it it has already been sold or wasn't exactly in living condition. I promise I'll find something as soon as we get back and I'll be out of your hair before you know it."

"Spencer," Hotch had found that using the kid's first name was an instant way to get his attention. The only problem was that now he was looking at him with those kicked puppy eyes. "That's not what I meant. I just wanted to know if you had thought about future plans. I know everything has been pretty much getting through each day but you seemed like you were moving to a new level." He glanced at the rest of the plane to make sure that no one was paying them much attention.

"I was actually wondering if you would like to move in with me permanently or at least for the foreseeable future."

Reid just gawked at him for a minute. "Are you sure?"

Hotch let a smile creep around the edges of his mouth. "You kind of grow on a person. It's nice having someone else to make dinner for and someone else to help keep things cleaned up. I'm on a month to month lease and most of the furniture came with the place. We could find some where that works for both of us, some place that would have a lot of book shelves."

"I-I'd like that a lot. I've always lived on my own after my mother was admitted to Bennington. The universities were afraid of liabilities with roommates so much older that I never even had that experience.

Hotch watched the young man tuck his hair behind his ears and lean back in the seat in relief. Despite his better judgment, he really enjoyed Reid's company.

"Have you thought about seeing any of the therapists Detective Betts told you about?" Hotch asked.

"I've thought about it."

He watched the nervous tension return to the young man. "And?"

"I just don't think I can talk to anyone about what he did."

"You talk to me."

Spencer scratched the side of his nose. "That's different. We're at your place when we talk."

Aaron reached over and stilled the nervous hands. "No, it's different because we're at home. I'm glad you're more comfortable around people and I'm glad that you can talk to me. But I worry that a professional might be more experienced with what you're going through."

"I can't." Spencer whispered.

"Okay, but promise me that you'll still think about it. It hurts to hear you screaming in your nightmares. You're always going to have nightmares about something with this job. But you have no idea how much it hurts to not be able to protect you from those memories. It was bad enough watching you every day and seeing how he hurt you. It's worse knowing what he had been doing and that now that it is supposed to be over that you keep reliving it."

He saw the beginnings of tears in Spencer's eyes.

"It really does hurt you. I didn't know. I'm sorry." The young agent quickly ran a hand over his eyes.

"It hurts me because I care."

"I know. No one has ever cared enough to hurt for me."

"You're mother does."

"No." Spencer sniffed. "She loves me of course. But she never knew what was going on when I was little. She thought it was all in her head. And all the other times, she was having an episode and couldn't see reality much less that I was hurting on the inside."

"That's why I want you to move in. You don't need to be alone any more. You've spent too much time on your own already. It's time you learned how to be with others." They both sat back in their seats and enjoyed the rest of the ride home.

***

It was a rare Saturday that they had off. So, Reid and Hotch went back to his apartment with boxes in hand. "I don't think I can do this."

"Yes, you can. You're not doing this alone, besides how are you going to move on until you get your stuff?"

"But . . . every time I opened this door. I see his face smiling at me." He was starting to shake now.

"Then let me open the door." Hotch reached over and took the keys from the tense fingers.

The older man opened the door. Reid's breathing was starting to come too quickly. All he saw was his father standing there smiling at him. Hotch took a hold of the wrist carrying one of the boxes and pulled him into the entry hall. He tried to pull his hand free from the other man. Spencer could feel his father's hands running over his skin. He started jerking his arm harder trying to get away.

"Reid! Look at me!" Hotch yelled.

"No, please." The boxes were pulled from his fingers and then he was being shoved back out the door and then down the stairs to the car. When the fresh air hit his face he stopped in the grass and dropped to his knees finally losing the contents of his stomach.

He felt the strong hands rubbing his back and pulling his hair out of his face. In one part of his mind, Spencer knew that it was Hotch. But in the close proximity to where every thing happened he couldn't help but flinch away from the hands.

"It's okay, just take your time." Hotch said.

He slowly moved away from the messy grass and wound up sitting on the stairs. Hotch returned and this time crouched down in front him. It helped to not see the man looming over him. Spencer took the offered napkin and bottled water. "Thanks."

"Let's go home. Morgan and I can come back later and take care of packing things up."

"But--"

"No buts, we don't mind. I thought it would be good for you to put it behind you and make a fresh start. I was wrong. I told you you should be seeing a professional."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop it. There is nothing for you to be sorry about. Now let's go home and you can get some rest."

***

"Hi, Morgan. It's Hotch. I need a favor."

"Sure, what's up?"

"Are you available next weekend to help me pack up Reid's apartment?"

"Yeah, but I thought the two of you were going to do that this weekend."

"It didn't go exactly as planned." Aaron sat down on the couch and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"What happened?"

"He freaked out. We couldn't even get past the front door. I managed to get him outside to the grass before he got sick."

"Is he alright?"

Hotch could hear an accusation in that statement. "He's in his room sleeping now. But he's really upset about what happened.

"When do you sign the lease on the new place? I can get some guys I know to help and we could move all the furniture. Rossi could pack up his books while we do that and Garcia could stay with Reid."

"We sign the lease on Thursday and get the keys but we can't occupy until Friday. I really appreciate this."

"Well, I wouldn't mind helping you out Hotch but you know I would do anything for Reid. I'm going to stop and get Chinese and bring over a movie. You know he will obsess over what happened if we don't keep his mind active."

He rested his head back against the couch. "Thanks. Give us at least two hours; he hasn't been asleep very long."

A loud scream erupted from Spencer's room.

"Shit, I've gotta go." Hotch hung up the phone and threw it on the couch.

***

Hotch ran into the bedroom and Spencer was sitting up shaking.

"Are you okay?"

"No." The younger man whispered.

"Talk to me."

"Why did he do that to me? Why couldn't he just leave me alone?"

"I don't know. I wish that I did, but I don't. I am so sorry that he hurt you like this. You turned out to be a wonderful person in spite of him and then he just came back into your life and did it again. You were really fitting in and finding your place."

"I'll never fit in any where."

"Don't say that. You already fit in." Hotch approached the bed and carefully sat down on the edge. He watched the young man fight the tears that were pooling on the very edge and ready to spill any second.

"How can I go back to before this started?"

"I don't know. But we'll figure it out. I promise; we'll figure it out together." The older man hoped that he was right.

Hotch got up and pushed Spencer to lie back down. "Try to get some more rest. Morgan is bringing Chinese and a movie. You know it will be some action movie that you will say is just riddled with machismo. You need to rest so your mind is alert and ready to defend your position." He hoped for a smile but didn't get one.

Aaron closed the door and walked to his room to find the list of therapists that Detective Betts had given them. He didn't care if Spencer wanted to go or not, he was going and Hotch was going with him.

***

Two weeks later.

"Stop complaining over there." Hotch looked at Reid staring out the passenger side window.

"Tell me again why you are coming

"Because the doctor thinks it would be a good idea since we are living together."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Spencer asked.

He sighed. "It means that I have feelings about what happened too. It also means that I am your support system."

"Oh." The younger man just sunk deeper into the seat.

"I promise this will help. You believe me don't you?"

Spencer didn't answer and Aaron realized this was probably going to be harder than he thought. He hoped that the group sessions with the two of them would help them keep from hiding the truth. He knew that he was just as guilty of doing that but the kid really needed this.

"Spencer, talk to me."

"I hate being stuck on desk duty. Let me back in the field. Please." He begged.

Hotch sighed again. "I can't do that. You're not ready."

"Yes I am." he whined.

Aaron pulled into a parking space and then turned in his seat. "You are not ready. I'm not doing this to punish you. You need to allow yourself to work through your emotions. I know you consider it a dirty word. But it's not, and I haven't exactly been the best role model there. I'm sorry." It had been a horrible scene when Hotch had pulled him back out of the field. The flashback had been a wake-up call that the kid had been taking drastic measures to avoid sleeping when out on a case so he wouldn't have nightmares.

"We're here, let's go." Reid ended the conversation by getting out of the car and walking to the door without waiting for the other man.

***

"Spencer it just takes time. I know you are used to being able to whiz through things but that just isn't going to work this time." Dr. Attler handed him a tissue. "You're not broken and you don't need fixing. I'm just here to help you get where you want to go. You know the psychology behind all of this and in your head you know the answers. Aaron and I just want you to know it here." He reached over and touched Spencer's chest indicating his heart.

"Our time is up for today." The doctor walked back over to his desk and began writing on a prescription pad. "Now this is a very low dose and I want you to take one in the morning. If you are feeling overwhelmed through out the day, you can take another one but only if it has been four hours since your morning dose." He tried to hand the script to Reid.

Spencer wrapped his arms around himself. "I don't want medication."

"You really need to try this. It's not much and is easy to take you back off."

Aaron stepped forward and took the piece of paper. "Try it for me, please?"

Reid turned and left the office without another word. He waited at the car for Hotch to unlock it. After they got in he waited a minute. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"No. I think you have had enough for one day."

He turned toward the window and wiped the tears from his eyes.

***

Six months later.

Hotch walked in and carefully closed the door. It was after midnight and Reid usually went to bed early if they were not out on a case. He turned around and spotted Spencer curled up on the couch with his arms tucked under him trying to keep warm. The kid was always cold and usually kept a sweater on at home and typically sat underneath a blanket on the couch. Something wasn't right. The older man walked over and shook the foot that wasn't curled in between the cushions.

"Reid, go to bed."

"Hmmm."

"I said get up and go to bed."

Spencer sat up and rubbed his eyes before grabbing his glasses off the coffee table. "What time is it?"

"Twelve ten."

"Where were you?" Reid quizzed.

Hotch gave him a strange look. Apparently, Spencer was waiting for him. "I stopped off with a friend and had a drink."

"Sorry, sorry. It's none of my business." He tried to stand up and almost tripped over his book that was lying on the floor.

"Easy. Tell me what you wanted."

"It's nothing."

"You know that line does not work with me. It was obviously important to you."

Reid reached down to the coffee table and picked up a box with a bow on it. "Uh, I got this for you." He held it out to Hotch.

He carefully took the present knowing it must be important to the younger man to have him waiting up. Under the lid lay a brand new watch. He carefully pulled it out of the box and began to examine it. It was the one he had been looking at online last week. When he turned it over, there was an inscription.

Thanks for taking the time. Always, Spencer

"Thank you. It's exactly what I wanted."

"I, uh, I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you giving me a home. Well, more than just a home. There's not many, okay none, that would take me in with all my problems and definitely none that would see a therapist with me."

Hotch really looked at the young man. "You're wrong, you know. The rest of the team would have been willing to help you out. Morgan specifically would have done exactly what I did and more. Do you know why he helped move us in here?"

"You bribed him with pizza."

"No. That day that you were unable to go back into your apartment I called him. He flat out told me that he would be willing to help me but that he would do anything for you." He placed the watch on his wrist that had been bare since his other watch died its final death. "I love this Spencer. Now go to bed, you're freezing. I can see the goose bumps from here.

Spencer walked through the kitchen and headed to his room.

THE END