Life Sentence

- Chapter 1 -
Suck It Up

by TeeJay

—==''''==—

Summary:
Corporal Jake Sully is hit by a piece of shrapnel and finds himself lying in a Venezuelan VA hospital with a pair of useless legs and a big hole blown through the middle of his life. Pre-movie.

Author's Note:
I would like to dedicate this story to anaithis. You know better than most people what it's like to lie in a hospital bed for too long, and I was thinking about you a lot when I wrote this, even though the reason for hospitalization wasn't quite the same. So here's to speedy recoveries and better times ahead, also for your family!

This was also party inspired by the story "Just Another Hellhole" by el spirito (FFN story ID 5622316 — I highly recommend you check it out). Please know that I have not been meaning to copy or imitate, I just wanted to explore my own version of these events because this story made me think about what might have happened after Jake was paralyzed and how this would have changed his relationship with his brother. That's what made me take it to my own universe because I hinted at some of these events in my earlier story, "Only Human?". (And I'm posting this with her approval.)

A huge thank you to goes out J who offered to beta-read this story for me. You've been a great help!

Just a little remark on the side... We are in the year 2146 or 2147 when Tom is supposed to ship out to Pandora. Why would there still be paper money? (Quote Jake: "... a guy with a gun ends his journey for the paper in his wallet.") Everything else is hi-tech in this era, I honestly can't see people paying cash with paper money anymore. Thus, I'm just gonna ignore canon and rewrite this idea a little. You'll see.

Disclaimer:
There's a few dialogues and scenes towards the end of this story that were taken from a 2007 version of the movie script, so these are obviously not mine. Neither are the characters or situations of this story or the movie. They are property of James Cameron, Twentieth Century Fox, Lightstorm Entertainment or other copyright owners. No copyright infringement intended. Mr. Cameron, it has been a blast, playing in your sandbox. I hope you don't mind.

Rating:
Rated T (PG-13) for language and some violence towards the end

—==''''==—

The ceiling panels had exactly 134 holes. Jake Sully knew this, because he had counted each one. A hundred times over.

He didn't think he could take staying in this hospital room much longer. Thankfully, they had taken him off the heart monitor the day before, so there was no more rhythmic beeping that would keep him awake at night. But if it wasn't the beeping, it was the soft bubble of the oxygen humidifier or the nurse coming in to adjust his pulse oximeter or to change his saline bag.

The only sleep you got in a hospital was the exhausted kind that made your eyes droop just when you wanted to watch something on the vidscreen that you had been looking forward to all day. The kind that made you feel even more groggy after you woke up.

His sergeant had come by after the emergency back surgery. Jake had still been drowsy from the anesthetic and not remembered much, other than the suppressed pity in his eyes. A nurse told him the next day that an ambush on their camp had drawn his squad out again into the jungle. No one had come to visit him since.

He didn't dare look at his lifeless legs. Seeing them without the ability to move them made it more real than he was ready to accept. Maybe this was all just a bad joke. Maybe he'd wake up the next morning and he'd feel something—a tingling at the sole of his foot, a twitch in his big toe. Maybe there was just swelling near his spine that was gonna go down over time, or a collection of fluid that was gonna reduce, or... something. Anything. Anything other than the word he had heard so often in the past three days and had never wanted to hear at all.

Paraplegic.

Just like that, with one little word, they had condemned him to a life sentence.

Fuck! This couldn't be real. "No," he said, sitting up in his bed. He tried to move his legs, but they wouldn't budge, no matter how hard he tried to send the command to his brain. "Dammit, Jake, you can move your legs," he muttered through gritted teeth.

He managed to drag his body to the edge of the bed, ignoring the pain in his lower back. "Come on, Jake," he kept encouraging himself.

"Jake!" the nurse called, rushing into the room. "No, you can't get up. Please."

He lashed about with his arms, ripping the IV out of his arm. "No! Don't you see, I need to get up!"

The nurse tried to push him back into his bed, struggling with him. She managed to push a button on the remote pad on the bedside locker.

It didn't take long for a male nurse to come to her aid. He felt Velcro being fastened around his wrists at either side of the bed. "No!!" he raged. "You can't do this!"

"Jake," the female nurse tried to assuage him, her eyes filled with both pity and anxiety. "You need to calm down. Please!"

"Fuck you!" he hissed, making futile attempts at tugging at his restraints.

The two nurses exchanged glances and half a minute later he felt a sharp sting in the crook of his arm. "I'm sorry, Jake," the nurse whispered.

It took only a few seconds for the world to fade around him into a gray nothingness.

—==''''==—

"Hello?"

Tom Sully looked around. There was no one manning the nurse's station. "Hello?" he called again.

He was about to move down the corridor when a nurse came walking towards him. For a split second, he could see a flash of bewilderment in her eyes, then he realized the source of her confusion. It was so easy to forget when you hadn't seen your brother in over a year.

"You're Jake's twin," she said. "We spoke on the phone."

"Yes." He held out his hand. "Tom Sully. How is he? Can I see him?"

She took him lightly by the arm, guiding him to the waiting area with the ugly, standard issue plastic chairs. "Mr. Sully—"

"Tom," he interrupted her.

"Tom. This won't be easy to hear. Physically, your brother is doing okay, under the circumstances. But we had to restrain him."

Tom's brow creased in confusion. "Restrain? Why?"

"His... condition. He's having a hard time accepting it. He tried to get out of his bed earlier today. He almost fell down. You have to understand, it's for his own safety."

Tom's eyes widened with worry. His throat was suddenly dry. "Can I see him?"

The nurse nodded. "Of course. We also had to sedate him. He's going to be under for another half hour or so."

Tom swallowed. He hadn't known what to expect when he had jumped on the first flight that he could get. But it wasn't this.

—==''''==—

The nurse had brought Tom a chair to put next to Jake's bed. There wasn't a lot of room, VA hospitals usually weren't made for comfort.

A million emotions were passing the baton on to each other in his head, but above all, there was worry and a terrible dread.

Jake looked peaceful, his eyes closed, his breathing flat and even. But Tom knew that the peace was a ruse, a thin-veiled curtain of deception that covered the harsh truth.

He reached out to touch his brother's hand. He could feel the rough calluses in his palm and there was a sudden lump in his stomach.

"Oh Jake," he whispered, squeezing his brother's warm but limp hand.

—==''''==—

They were the longest twenty minutes of Tom's life, but eventually, Jake stirred in his bed. Tom couldn't take his anxious gaze off him.

It took Jake a few seconds to come back to this world. He blinked, confused, then recognized the familiar face that greeted him. "Tom?" he rasped.

"Yes. It's me, Jake-O." He called his brother by his old nickname that they had used as kids.

"No!" Jake said forcefully. "You can't be here. I don't want you to be here!"

Tom flinched and shrank back. "Jake, it's okay."

"No!" Jake yelled. "Nothing's ever gonna be okay. Get out!"

"Jake," Tom could only utter, stunned.

"I want you to leave. Get the hell out!"

The shock was visible in Tom's face. He had never seen his brother so upset. It scared the shit out of him.

"Okay," he whispered in astonished dismay before he stumbled out of the room.

When he returned to the nurse's station, it took the nurse from earlier—her name tag read 'Sally'—a mere two seconds to take in his deathly pale, shocked face.

"Tom, what's wrong?"

"He yelled at me, threw me out. He didn't even want to talk to me." The bewilderment in his eyes grew more intense.

Her voice was empathic and she met his gaze. "I know this sounds cold, but it's not an unusual reaction. Your brother, he's got a lot of pride. He's embarrassed because he feels helpless, out of control. I've seen this before many times."

Tom nodded numbly. "I don't... I... I wanna help him. How can I help him if he won't even speak to me?"

"He will come around, I promise."

She placed her hand on top of Tom's in a comforting gesture. "There's a cafeteria down the hall, in that direction. Get a cup of coffee. I will talk to him."

There was a brief flicker of hope in Tom's eyes. "Okay. Thanks."

She gave him an encouraging smile before he got up and walked in the direction she had indicated.

—==''''==—

Tom. Tom was here! No. Tom couldn't be here!

Jake's thoughts raced. He didn't want him to see him like this, paralyzed, helpless, shackled to a hospital bed. He once more tugged at the restraints. Why were his arms pinned to the sides of his bed in the first place? His memory was hazy, there was so much confusion.

From the corner of his eye, he saw a brown-haired nurse approaching his bed. Sally, he recalled. She had always been nice to him, most of the other nurses were all business, some even gruff and cold.

"Jake, I'll take off the restraints, but only if you promise not to do anything stupid."

He quieted somewhat and slowly nodded. "Okay."

The sharp sound of the Velcro was followed by a strangely freeing sensation. He could finally move his arms. "Why did you put these on me?"

"You tried to get up this morning."

His brow creased in bewilderment. He couldn't remember any of that. "I did?"

She just nodded.

"And my brother, was that trick my mind played on me too?"

"No, he was real all right. Your brother is really here."

"Shit," he whispered.

Sally sat down on the chair next to his bed. "Jake, listen. Your brother, Tom—he's confused. He's just as scared as you. He wants to help you. And no matter how much the thought repulses you, you have to let people help you. You're not going to be able to do this alone."

"Watch me," he muttered.

"Okay. Here's your reality check, Marine, and you're not gonna like it. Your life as you know it ended out there, in the jungle, when your spine was almost severed by a piece of rogue shrapnel. You are lucky to be alive. You are lucky to be lying here, with your wits about you and an injury you can recover from. You are lucky to have family who care about you, who flew 2,000 miles to see you. And if there's anything that you wouldn't want to do in your situation, it's sending them away."

Jake had looked at her intently during her whole speech. The sickening feeling in his stomach was giving way to a heavy lump. The momentary silence was only disrupted by subdued beeping from a room a few doors down the hall.

"Did he leave?" Jake finally asked.

"No, he went to get a cup of coffee. Do you want to see him?"

He swallowed, then slowly nodded. "Yeah," he whispered.

Sally lightly touched his arm. "Good," she smiled at him before she left the room.

He let his head sink back onto the pillow, closing his eyes, letting the hollow dread overwhelm him. What the hell was he gonna do? He was lost, in this colorless room, a sterile airlock bubble between his old life and a terrifying, new one.

He heard a soft, "Jake?" and opened his eyes.

His brother's eyes were trained on him, standing in the doorway, his body in a guarded stance. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah," Jake said meekly. He watched in silence as Tom carefully sat down on the chair. "I'm sorry about earlier."

Tom gave him a brave smile. "It's okay."

"No, it's not okay. I was outta line."

"Maybe you were, but it's understandable."

They were both silent for a few moments before Tom asked, "How are you feeling? You in any pain?"

"Not too bad."

"Do you need anything? More painkillers?"

"No, I'm good."

"Have they... have they said anything? About how long you have to stay here?" Tom asked.

Jake shook his head. "The doctors don't really say much. Only come in here, check some stuff, then leave."

"Okay, I'm gonna find someone to talk to." He was glad he finally had some sort of mission, something he could do.

"Did the hospital call you?" Jake asked.

"Yeah, I guess my number was in your emergency contacts or something. I took the first flight down here I could get."

Jake turned his head away from this brother and Tom's heart sank. They had danced around the subject long enough. "Look, Jake, I know this is a lot to digest, but I'm gonna make some calls. They can fix a spine nowadays. I'm gonna find a way to get the money. But in the meantime, I don't care if you can't walk or need a wheelchair or whatever it takes to get you out of here. We're gonna do this together, okay?"

"Tom, this is not your responsibility. I'm not your responsibility," Jake told him, his voice devoid of emotion.

"The hell you aren't!" Tom shot back. "I'm your brother. That's what brothers do, they take care of each other. That's how Mom raised us, both of us. Wouldn't you do the same thing?"

Jake let out a short breath through his nose. Thing is, he wasn't sure if he would. And that stung, more than he wanted to admit. "I don't know," he sighed, still not looking at his brother.

"You know what, it doesn't matter. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere, so suck it up."

Jake didn't have the strength to fight anymore, not today.