Curiosity Killed the Cat

Matt:

"Mello, I've your chocolate!" I walked into our apartment, struggling with the paper bag filled with chocolate bars and cigarettes. It was a miracle I had been able to open our door without falling over.

Mello didn't answer, so I figured that he was either asleep(he's like a fucking brick when he's asleep) or he was out.

Glad that there was no PMS-ing blonde rampaging around, I dropped the paper bag on a wooden table. I grabbed a chocolate bar and collapsed on our beat-up couch, sighing in content, because I was. Well, as content as I could with my best friend and I living in a crappy apartment, constantly moving because Mello was paranoid.

I lazily peeled off the wrapper of the bar, staring at the sweet delicacy. Why does Mello like chocolate so much? Not giving much thought about it, I bit off a piece and chewed. Mmm. This was awesome! Before I knew it, I'd finished the chocolate bar. I leaned to grab another out of the bag. When I settled back into a comfortable position, there was a meow. Half-expecting it to be Mello(What? He's exactly like one!), I looked up. There was no said blonde, so I shrugged to myself and turned on the TV.

A tingling sensation started in my left foot. Frowning, I shook it, thinking it was asleep. Another meow.

Okay, what the hell?

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw a cat near my feet.

Oh my god, my inner voice screamed. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod, get away, get away, get AWAY!

I hated cats, almost as much as salad and exercising. I hated the way they looked; whiskers, yellow eyes, ugh! Puppies are so much better.

I pushed my goggles down so they covered my eyes. Who knows? The cat could start scratching my eyes out. Better safe than sorry. I leaned down, stretching the opened chocolate bar towards the feline. It licked its lips and looked about to eat it.

Scowling, I withdrew my arm. I refused to share.

It hissed at me.

I hissed back.

It narrowed its eyes at me.

I narrowed mine back.

It scratched my ankle through my jeans, leaving a hole in its wake.

It ran away before I could kick it.

I focused on the screen of our TV. I would not let a cat set me in a bad mood. How did it get in, anyway?

A few minutes passed as I watched some stupid sitcom. Then, out of nowhere, BANG!

Startled but alert, I jumped to my feet and whirled. A sleepy-but-angry looking Mello stood in the doorway of our bedroom. In his right hand was a gun that was pointed to the table. I followed his line of sight and it led me to the bag of chocolate tipped over. The cat, unharmed, jumped off the table and ran out the open door(so that's how). And, was that a chocolate bar in between its lips?

"What the hell?" I demanded, making my way over to inspect the damage. "Mello, what--wait, where are you going?" I watched as he slammed his gun on the table, reaching for the shotgun that leaned against the wall. "No, no, no, drop it!" I swear, it's like I'm talking to a five-year old.

With a roar, Mello followed the cat out the door.

"Mello." I ran out after him. "Where the fuck do you think you're going?!"

"I'm going to kill the fucking cat who stole my fucking chocolate!" He yelled back, disappearing around the corner.

"Mello, get back here!" I ordered. "You're still in your boxers!"

He didn't obey, of course, because Mello never obeys anyone else. I, on the other hand...

I sighed. The things Mello will do for his chocolate.

--

"Matt, I got it," came a voice from the doorway.

I rolled my eyes, looking up through my goggles. Mello, still in his boxers but looking triumphant, held his shotgun in one hand and his chocolate in the other. He tossed the gun on our couch carelessly and started eating his favorite treat.

"You blew a fucking hole in our table, and all you care about is your chocolate?" I asked him, incredulous.

"Nnn," he replied, waving a hand at me dismissively.

I grunted, pushing the bag of chocolate at him. "There."

He inspected it for a few seconds, then frowned up at me. "Matt, there's something wrong."

"What now?" I said, annoyed.

"You see, the capacity of this bag can hold about thirty chocolate bars," he explained, still frowning. "And, judging by the looks of how the chocolate is placed, it seems as if someone has taken out about two bars."

I froze.

"Seeing as I have one of these bars, and the facts that I was asleep earlier and you were alone with the chocolate..." Mello's face hardened into a glare. Despite his attire(black t-shirt and boxers), he looked badass.

"Heh heh," I chuckled nervously. "Mels, you see..."

"I think I'd like to see you talk your way out of this one," Mello snarled. Then, he added with a smirk, "Matty."