BONDS

TJ was standing in the middle of what used to be her infirmary, looking at the boxes stacked neatly against the wall near the entrance. It took her much too long to sort through everything, separating Earth medications from what she had gathered in her time spent on Destiny. There was much more of the latter – most of what had been salvaged from the Icarus Base had been used during the first three months of their journey , leaving mostly useless junk and some overly used band aids. After their first encounter with the alien virus Tamara had decided to experiment with herbs and natural resources, judgement mostly made based on intuition and on the overall look of what she was using – there was a fair chance that if something looked familiar, it might have the expected qualities. Mostly, this approach had worked for her, although there were two or three instances in which she had to reverse the rather unpleasant outcome of her ministrations.

Now everything she had gathered will be taken back to Earth, where it will be properly examined and perhaps used further.

Maybe they'll even allow her to be on the research team.

TJ getting more and more interested with this field of medicine and she was seriously considering pursuing this direction in her education. Everyone she's been talking to was giving her big 'thumbs up' and she felt quite optimistic. Still, it didn't stop her from feeling a tad nostalgic when thinking about leaving Destiny behind.

So much had happened here that Tamara knew that it changed her forever. It changed all of them. In some strange way, they all considered themselves one big family now, with its problems and fights and whatnots but always around, always there – even if unwanted. What they all had shared on Destiny created a strange, irksome but strong bond that only victims of the same disaster share. When they get back to Earth, they will split, all going their separate ways, coping with everything that had happened in their own ways. And one day, a random two of them will meet somewhere in the street, amongst a crowd of unsuspecting passer-bys and they will remember. Probably passing each other without a word, only with a knowing glance that will hold the weight of the Universe they travelled through. How many of them will have to face their demons like that, TJ wouldn't know, But she wished with all her heart that it would be as few of them as possible. The pain that had grown between them was too great to re-live in the eyes of others.

She, as the medic, had been hearing a lot of tales during her service. All of her patients had plans, wanted to do things. But in truth, there were very little specifics in what her patients were telling her. Most of them were probably scared to find out that they would feel more lost at home than they did billions of light years away from anything familiar.

Tamara knew that Vanessa was thinking of leaving the Air Force and chasing her dreams – only she couldn't name even one to chase after anymore. Scott wanted to get to know his son a little but didn't want to settle – he and Chloe wanted to start a new life – what it would be, none of them could say. Eli wanted to study but had no idea what. Greer was thinking of going on more missions but couldn't name one place he would feel needed in. Young wanted to try winning his wife back but didn't know how and had no other plans aside from that. Tamara herself wanted to finish medicine but kept wondering where and when.

Only Rush seemed to know exactly what he would do. Ironically, the only person that had a purpose in life, still, was staying on Destiny.

He didn't say much about that, too. He mentioned a contract but didn't go into details. He probably wouldn't have said anything if it wasn't for the fact that he hadn't been in the best frame of mind back when she asked him about his plans. He was better now, only talked less. To her, he seemed depressed. Probably for different reasons than the ones that were making her put off his daily check-up.

The fact was, that he didn't need a check-up. But it went against everything that Tamara knew about medicine for him to be this fine. He should be bedridden, perhaps – if luck was on their side – making baby-steps towards partial recovery. Instead, he was calmly sitting on his cot, writing something in his notebook with a steady hand and absent-mindedly trying to scratch between the thick dressing on his now almost bald head, where the holes in his skull were slowly healing over.

"Stop scratching, you big baby," she scolded gently, making one of her other patients chuckle lightly – something that wouldn't have ever happened in the first months of their voyage. Now it only made Rush throw a sideways glance at the other man, who ignored it completely.

"Can't help myself. It's itching," Nicholas muttered but stopped scratching. TJ, taking a silent breath, came to his side.

"That's good, means it's healing. Let me see," and with that, she proceeded to remove the bandages.

As she checked his wounds, TJ had to think about how changed he looked. Without the hair, with all the weight he had lost, Nicholas seemed so much smaller, almost fragile. The deep shadows under his eyes and pronounced cheekbones made him appear older and so, so tired… Only the determined light in his eyes contradicted all that but it was more than enough.

He waited patiently for her to clean and dress his scalp and didn't object to the standard tests she performed daily, just to make sure it wasn't temporary, that he was indeed as well as he seemed. An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of her stomach when she noticed that he wasn't using his glasses while she was checking his sight – and the marks were incredibly good. Nicholas was seemingly ignoring the fact that his eyes were working better now than they had for the last twenty years. And this was not the only bizarre thing.

When she finished with Rush, Tamara moved to her only other patient and, after a quick examination, she smiled brightly.

"I guess there is no point in keeping you here any longer," she said, patting the man on the shoulder. "The ribs are healing nicely and since you don't have breathing problems anymore, you might as well go and pack your things. We'll be reaching the meeting point in less than an hour. You might want to get ready."

The man nodded and slowly made his way out the door, leaving TJ and Rush alone. She turned to Nicholas and stared, as he, too, began to rise to his feet a bit shakily.

"Nick…" she said and he looked at her. Seeing the troubled expression on her face, he sighed and sat back down with obvious relief. He patted the cot invitingly and she took a seat besides him. Silence swelled between them and finally, he decided to voice her thoughts for her.

"I shouldn't be like this and you don't know what's going on."

She could only swallow and nod her head, watching a nervous tick pulling at the corner of his mouth.

"But you do know," she finally whispered, almost too quietly to be heard.

"Yes."

"Will… will you tell me?"

"…Yes."

The uneasy feeling in her stomach changed into a knot as she watched him fidget a little – he rarely did any unnecessary moves and it was unsettling.

"When… when the S'hottoss found me," he began slowly, his voice calculating and reserved. "They couldn't communicate with me. They were hurting me and didn't even know why. When they figured out that my brain was too weak to take the pressure of a telepathic link, I was almost dying. To save me from what they have brought upon me, they… did something."

He stopped there for a moment, clearly replaying the difficult moments in his memory. Tamara didn't push him, she waited patiently for Nicholas to continue. When he did, his words made her jaw drop a fraction.

"They planted a transmitter inside my brain."

Tamara stared and he returned the gaze with one of his own.

"Oh my God, you're serious!" she exclaimed finally as he smirked humourlessly.

"Yes."

"Jesus, stop saying 'yes' all the time! Like, you have an alien device in your brain?" she exclaimed, her eyes big.

"Yeah, I know – sounds like a bad sci-fi movie Eli might mention during a conversation. But that's the best way to describe it. As far as I know I'm stuck with it, permanently."

"Ok. So you have a piece of alien tech in your head. It helped with the telepathy thing. I get it. What I don't get, is what does it have to do with your miraculous recovery?"

"In the simplest words, it's fixing my brain," he deadpanned and she stared. "It's sending impulses that activate a new function - brain cell repair. It was necessary to keep me alive back then and the S'hottoss knew what effects the cube will cause in my weak brain. If it wasn't for the transmitter, I would already be dead. It's also stimulating some other minor processes but nothing major."

A heavy silence fell upon them. There was so much unspoken depth in what he said, it made Tamara feel overwhelmed all of a sudden. A realization hit her and she felt tears filling her eyes.

"Without… If it weren't for the transmitter, my operation would have zero chance of success, wouldn't it?"

"Perhaps. But if there was no transmitter, I wouldn't have risked my life as I did. And if you didn't take a shot with what you did, I would most probably have died anyway. The transmitter was programmed to ease the effects of two, maybe three short sessions with the neural interface at most. Let's just say I ignored some of the advice the aliens had given me." With that he smirked again, more flippantly this time and a pang of anger went through TJ's heart. If he listened to the S'hottoss, he would save all of them a lot trouble. He wouldn't suffer, she wouldn't worry so much, they would probably never get back home…

Egoistic, heroic bastard.

"Tamara… Please don't make it a much bigger deal than it really is. All went well. I'm alive. We're going home. Just… enjoy the victory." With that he covered her limp hand with his own, warm and worn, squeezing lightly. And as his calm, logic reassurance washed over her, she almost felt at ease.

Almost.

"Oh God!" she exclaimed, her eyes going wide as Nicholas looked at her with worried interest.

"When I was burring at the top of your head I inserted the tube and poked something that shouldn't be there… It must've been the transmitter!"

"That is a possibility, yes," he answered thoughtfully, a tiny spark of amusement at her fright showing in his eyes.

"I might've damage it! What if I poked too hard and it'd been broken? It could've stop working! I might've killed you!"

A quiet, throaty chuckle reached her ears and she looked at him as if he sprouted a random limb. He was laughing at her!

"I'm used to hearing stupid things but never from you, lass," he uttered, genuinely amused. TJ just kept staring for a moment as the whole situation grew more and more ridiculous with each second.

"Asshole," she muttered finally but smiled.

And that was that.

When they jumped out of FTL everything went very still for a brief moment. Nicholas, sitting on the bed in his quarters, inhaled the stale air they had all learnt to enjoy simply because it was there and glanced at the room. Some gutted electronics still hung from the wall, he never got to fix it – perhaps in the so unclear future he will have a look at it. He will have a look at everything.

Rush already knew that he wants to get to know every corner of Destiny, memorize every circuit, restore the ship to it's full glory – make its splendour and might his greatest accomplishment. Much work was to be done but his mind was already analyzing, calculating, planning for that. Destiny was an enormous structure, damaged with age and hardship but Nicholas knew that with the intimate knowledge he had gained of her, he will be able to manage the restoration.

Once again he congratulated himself the foresight of signing the contract with General O'Neil. If it wasn't for that, he was certain they would remove him from the Lead Scientist position as soon as they got all the information he could provide – he was well aware that to most of them his past actions seemed wrong, his judgment flawed. Even though he knew he was working for the greater good and had no regrets, the morons surrounding him had their minds clouded with moral rules and ethics that they foolishly abided by, no matter the consequences – conscience played much too great part in human lives.

He wondered briefly what will happen to all the others, the people he lived with for almost two years now (how fast the time passes when one's having fun) but soon decided that he didn't give a damn as long as Young stayed away and Eli decided to work with him – he had already made sure the boy was willing to spend at least some of his time working on project 'Destiny' and the Colonel… The Colonel was no longer being an issue. With his little act in the infirmary Nicholas had planted the seed of resent in Young's most trusted men; he was also certain the other patient in the infirmary would spread the word of the murder attempt amongst the crew. That, combined with the other man's own inability to command and unwillingness to stay onboard the Destiny would ensure them never having to work together again.

The only person he kept wondering about was TJ. Tamara. How strange, he mused. Under normal circumstances she would be the last person he would befriend and yet here they both found solace in each other's company. Such a young, innocent girl, mature and yet still not tainted by the cynicism that comes with experience – Nicholas wondered how she had managed to stay that way, especially given the rough happenings in her life. And how did she protect herself from Everett Young, the man who broke her heart in the cruellest way? He decided that it had to take tremendous willpower to remain this way, something he could appreciate and admire. He could remember himself when he was her age, his first doctorate, his love for Gloria… Yet, he had been bitter even back then.

He hoped that wherever Tamara Johansen went from here, she would never lose herself like he did.

Down the corridor, people were shouting happily – Earth was perfectly visible from the Observation Deck.

Eli shivered – air conditioning in the plane was much too strong for his taste.

They were all being transported from a secluded base somewhere in Canada, where they had been examined and decontaminated for the past three days. At this point everyone felt anxious to go home, meet with their families, and return to their lives… These three days in the base felt like imprisonment.

And now they were flying to Washington, the plane being a part of the cover that had been created for the sake of all those involved who didn't know their exact situation, like his mother. Apparently, someone had spilled the beans that there was a secret military operation going on somewhere and seventy people had gone missing to the press, which, surprisingly, took interest and started snooping. One of the family members had broken the confidentiality clause and names Icarus and Destiny had been mentioned, someone in the Air Force made an unnecessary statement and it all had gone crazy… Eli had always thought that the military would be much more skilled in covering their super-duper secret projects.

The cover-up was simple – they had been testing new technologies in a new military base and it required absolute isolation from the outside world. Some of the experiments were extremely dangerous, a couple of people had died and after the necessary testing period the project had to be shut down, the technology deemed too unpredictable to pursue.

People were quiet. There wasn't much they could say to each other so they were focusing their attention on the fact that in a few minutes they would land and be able to see and touch their loved ones. The first plane had already landed and Eli felt a pang of envy – he was growing impatient. The plane was a military one, highly uncomfortable and much too noisy – he figured they would all have to get used to sounds of the world again; noise was almost nonexistent on Destiny. For now, it annoyed the crap out of him and seemingly everyone else. The only person that didn't seem to mind was Rush who was dozing off in the wheelchair, strapped to the wall nearby. He seemed tired and worn, the past few days hard on his recovering body.

As soon as they had come to the base, the military swooped Rush, Wray and Young away, wanting to gain information regardless of their physical condition or weariness. Even though they all acted fine, Eli could see how worn they were becoming They had quickly returned to the 24 h work mode, with the exception of Camille, who refused to be held up too long during one day. But they all knew both Rush and Young would work non-stop if TJ didn't force them to take breaks. The blonde was collaborating with the base medic on getting everyone into shape and the older man agreed with her fully when she suggested a less strict schedule.

Eli and the rest of the crew, on the other hand, had it easy these past few days. They were only asked a handful of questions (with a promise of more thorough talk some time next week at SGC), fed, dressed and ordered a solid eight hour sleep daily – in extremely soft beds. Still, the young man could bet that he will sleep for a week straight as soon as he hits his own pillow.

The plane shifted and they all tensed. They were landing.

Tamara was nervous. She hadn't contacted her family in over three months and now she would be able to see them in person, to hug them and listen to her sister's cries. She simply couldn't wait to be let out of the airplane. This would be the happiest day of her life.

She glanced down at the man whose wheelchair she was manoeuvring and felt sorry for him. As far as she knew, he had no one to greet him following their two-year exile. Not once had he made a personal visit on Earth via the stones. As far as she knew, his whole family was dead and he never spoke of any friends… He would be escorted to his home alone, by an air force stranger and left with no one to take care of him until he recovered fully. TJ was seriously considering hanging around for a while, just to be certain he was fine… With a smirk she realized that her family wouldn't ever let her do that.

The hatch opened slowly and after a moment they were all making their way down the ramp. About fifty yards she could see a big group of family members, most of them approaching as fast as possible. Other crewmembers were already running towards them, too.

"I can handle myself, you should go find your family," TJ heard a gentle voice and as she glanced at Nicholas, she knew he could see the anticipation written all over her face.

"Stop being so friendly, people are watching," she muttered sarcastically and he smirked. And a moment later Tamara found herself enveloped in a tight hug of her father's skinny arms, soon followed by her mother and sister's. Cries of happiness were filling her ears and she lost herself in the familiar warmth of her family's love.

"Tammy, oh God, you're finally back! We were worried sick!" her mother was crying, nearing hysterics and her father had to calm the woman down. In the meantime TJ had the chance to hug her sister properly. Her face was splitting with an enormous smile of joy.

"Gee, you're even thinner now, mom will feed you senseless," Megan said and they both laughed. TJ couldn't wait to eat some of her mother's roast beef.

"Eli, my baby!" they heard from the side and TJ turned to see the Math Boy being hugged to death by a petite woman. Off to the side, Brody was snickering next to his wife, with Eli throwing him a dirty look from over his mom's shoulder.

TJ was about to propose to her family to start moving in the direction of the airport building, when she heard a new set of shouts.

"BOBBY!"

She looked around, as she couldn't match the name to any member of the crew she could see nearby. The woman who was shouting, a chubby blonde with insanely long braid was making her way through the crowd, followed by a tall man and two small kids.

All crewmembers stared in silent amazement as the lady stopped abruptly in front of Rush, one hand covering her mouth.

"Oh God, Bobby, what happened to ye?" she exclaimed in a mild Scottish accent, tears making their way down her cheeks. As if sharing one brain, they all turned to look at the scientist simultaneously, only to see him scowling.

"Oi told ye not ta call me tha'," Nicholas grumbled but TJ could see a spark in his eyes she had learned to interpret as something similar to a smile. His accent was now very strong, as if a completely different person was speaking and she wondered if it was difficult to control it when talking to others. She could clearly see these two knew each other from way back and relief washed over her.

"I-is it ok ta hug ye?" the woman asked and a tick passed through Rush's face.

"Dun' wanna be hugged, ye old hag," he answered and was enveloped in a tight embrace the same instant.

"God, Bobby, you're skin and bones! Where were ye, why didn't you call? We talked to the people at the University but they wouldn't know where ye were… We were losing hope when the Air Force called us! They…"

"Maggie, ye'r rambling. We'll talk later," Rush answered as he gently removed her arms from around his frame. "Let me say hi to the kids, aye?"

He turned carefully to the two children: a small, maybe six-years-old boy and a girl that was a spitting image of her mother with her blonde hair and merry eyes – she couldn't have been older than ten. Rush opened his arms and she fell happily into his loose, shaky hug.

"Tina, ye're so big!" Nicholas said, looking her up and down with such affection TJ couldn't believe this was the man she knew. The girl beamed at him and opened her mouth widely for him to inspect.

"Look unca', the teeth grew back! Just like you said!" she said a bit faintly, as she was trying to keep her mouth open at the same time. Rush smirked and nodded, then looked at the younger child.

"C'mon, Chris, give yer uncle a hug. Or did ye forget me already?"

The boy shook his head a bit shyly and made his way to Rush, only to stare at him from a few paces distance.

"Wha' happened to your head, unca' Bobby?" He squealed, obviously affected by how ill Rush looked. The man stretched out his hand and pulled the child closer to him, only to have him stare at the bandages.

"Oi had an operation so Oi could be healthy. And now it's all good. See?" with that he tapped his head with one finger (where he knew it wouldn't hurt too much). That seemed to do the trick; Chris smiled and allowed himself to be hugged.

From the corner of her eye TJ could see that Maggie was watching him carefully, concern written al over her face. The man that had come with her (who hadn't even said one word to Rush) was standing behind her, rubbing her arm gently. Seeing the same worry in the woman's face that she had feeling too many times to count over the last few months, Tamara impulsively wanted to walk up to her and reassure her that he was going to be fine, that it's all good but in the same moment her sister came up behind her and whispered into her ear:

"Why is everyone staring at the guy? C'mon, mom and dad want to go."

Absent-mindedly, TJ nodded and told her to wait just one more minute. With that she slowly made her way towards Rush, who was now listening distractedly to the kids' happy banter. She could see that he was already developing a headache but didn't seem to mind. When he noticed her approach, he told the children to go to their momma and started clumsily getting up from the wheelchair. When he wobbled a little, TJ steadied him with one hand, not even sparing the movement one thought.

This was it. As they stood there, awkwardly silent, they both knew that this would be the last time they were going to see each other on these terms of friendship and openness. If they ever meet again, they would probably act as ex-colleagues, nothing more. So when Tamara, unable to find the right words, simply stepped into his arms, he returned the hug with all that he had, showing her all his trust, affection and giving as much reassurance as possible.

"Please take care of yourself," Tamara whispered directly into his ear and could feel him smirking slightly.

"You think she would allow me not to?" he answered and made a move with his head towards the Maggie person, who was standing to his right with her family. "You take care of yourself, too. Don't give the world too much of yourself, leave something for you."

"I will. Please remember me, Nick," TJ said, burying her head in his shoulder for a brief moment, feeling a tear escaping her lashes. He only nodded, patted her back lightly and moved away, something sad shining in his dark eyes. TJ nodded once again and allowed her family to sweep her off in the direction of the airport building, where almost everyone was already heading, intent on going home with their friends and families. She didn't look back to see Nicholas shake Eli's hand with a brief 'We'll stay in touch'. Tamara allowed herself to be swallowed by the happiness of her family reunion instead of the grief of loosing friends. There would be time for that later, when she was alone in her quarters… No, in her room. Room with walls of stone and wood, with a window showing the lawn and a merry little street. A room with quiet, wooden doors which she can open manually and walk out almost straight into a bathroom with a real bathtub and shower, with real water. And she won't have to walk ten minutes to the kitchen. She will be able to have a huge sandwich in the middle of the night or a festive dinner with everyone she loves. And if she felt like it, she could go back to her room and cry all she wanted – maybe her mom will come and stroke her hair and take away all the pain…

She didn't look back to see similar thoughts reflecting in Nicholas's eyes.

They went their separate ways.

FIN

A/N: Ok, guys, I'm done :) After all this time, "Redemption" is officially complete. Thank you all for the outstanding support, for all the wonderful reviews that kept me going, for the +faves and +watches… It's been a blast to write for such a great audience. If I could only ask you for this one last favour… Please, let me know what you think of the story as a whole – what was good, what could be more elaborated on, which parts were your favourites… There were average of about 180 people reading every chapter so I know you're there – it won't hurt you to write a short feedback message and it will help me very much… with the sequel ;)

Yup, I'm planning a sequel. Any suggestions, guys? It won't be out for a while and I will keep it in my own AU. So if you especially want something to happen there, I'm open for suggestions. I only have a rough plan for it at this point so many paths are open :)

There is one thing I want to say about the chapter. Lilandriel, after proof-reading the chapter, asked me about the Bobby nickname. A simple answer – this is my show of respect to mister Carlyle, to many known as Bobby. He is an outstanding actor and the character of Nicholas Rush would really suck if it wasn't for him – the producers knew that from the beginning and I appreciate their effort to get him to play Rush.

So, thank you all once again, love ya :)