Y'all, it me.

In case you've forgotten, or you're new here, "Of Broken Bones and Flavored Chalk" is a series of unrelated dialogue dumps. The game is to figure out who's talking. The verse is 2003 or 2007.

Warning, Raph swears. I love making Raph PG-13.

Disclaimer: The turtles aren't mine, Casey's not mine. I guess something was going around tumblr about new people not understanding why we do disclaimers? Y'all, I don't wanna be sued. Copyright infringement is real.

Of Broken Bones and Flavored Chalk, Chapter 4:

"Casey, I'll say this once. I like my coffee, like I like my coffee."

"And how's that, Einstein?"

"Mine."

"Oh shell no. Casey this is not how I wanted to start the day."

"Raph, tell your brother he can't hoard the coffee!"

"Let it go, Case. It's not worth it."

"I worked a double yesterday and I patrolled with the four of ya last night. I need a cuppa jo. If I don't get some'ma this here coffee, I'm gonna lose it!"

"Don is about to lose it!"

"Donnie, be a sensible turtle and give me some of your damn coffee!"

"Casey, do you want to know what I did yesterday?"

"Oh my god, Case, I freakin' hate you."

"No, Donatello, please tell me what you did yesterday, with your teenaged self, while I was slaving away working a double at my real, adult job."

"He has an eidetic memory, numbskull. What is wrong with you? Do you know what these stories are like? What is wrong with you Casey? Let him have the damn pot and you make a new pot! You know what? I'll make the pot. Is that what you want? I will make you your own pot."

"Yesterday I woke up at 6 o'clock ante meridian for our early morning training session. Actually, 'woke up' is an inappropriate phrase for the situation, because that would imply that I had been sleeping. More accurately, I took a break from my work for our early morning training session. It was incredibly rigorous and I'm beginning to think Sensei is a sadist. I had intended to sleep after we were dismissed but our dear Leonardo forced me to eat breakfast. I was going to sleep after breakfast but Mikey broke the TV, and then Raph accidently cracked one of our water pipes when he lost his balance performing what I've been told was a particularly rigorous and spectacular air guitar riff in the shower. Naturally those incidents required my immediate attention so my plans for rest were further derailed. I think that's when I hit the 22 hour mark. Then-"

"Jones, every goddamn time you make him recount his day it makes me feel like a sack of shit."

"Well maybe don't crake pipes, dumbass."

"And hey, genius, didn't we cap you at 18 hours no sleep?"

"I remember that! You guys had a hoity toity meeting about it and everything."

"That meeting was useless because you can't cap me. I'm the mutant turtle manifestation of the Horizon Deep Water oil spill! But that is beyond the point because I am telling an important story and expect you both to listen."

"If there's not coffee at the end of this story I don't want to hear it and I want a freakin' re-write, 'k? Ow, Jesus Christ, Raph!"

"You gotta stop, Jones, seriously. I'm tryin' to help you."

"Anyway! After I attended to the pipe and the TV Master Splinter wanted me to walk him through the contents of our medicine cabinets. That took a surprisingly long amount of time. Father is of slight stature and I had to track down our step stool so that he could see the top shelves without straining his neck, where he's developed a touch of arthritis. Following that, Leo asked me to teach him how to defuse simple bombs."

"I'm sorry, Fearless asked ya ta do what?"

"Teach him how to defuse simple bombs. This was particularly dangerous given that I had to one, make the bombs, because I prefer not to have powerful explosive just laying about, and two, because I had not slept in several hours."

"In 22 hours."

"If we're being accurate it was probably 27 by this point."

"What the actual hell, Don."

"After that terrifying adventure, it was time for patrol. I tried to get out of it by claiming lung damage due to smoke inhalation from improperly dismantled explosives but Leo didn't fall for it and he made me go."

"Maybe next time just be honest and say, 'hey, Fearless, ya know what? I haven't slept in literally ova' a day.'"

"No because then he would be upset with me."

"Wait, wait, wait. Don. Is that why you looked so tweaked out las' night?"

"O-oh-kay genius. You know it's way past your bed time when space Case here starts mistakin' your sleep deprivation for bein' high. I mean you are a lil' twitchy, I guess, but still."

"But this whole conversation will have been pointless if you don't let me have that coffee! "

"Go to bed! I'm gonna check on you in five minutes an' you betta be asleep!"

"Buh-bye Donnie boy. Wow. So I see yous guys are doin' real well in the 'monitor the nerd's sleepin' pattern' department."

"Screw you Casey and pour me some'ma that coffee."

"I've told you an' I've told you, you gotta make him write it down! Sleep journal worked wonders with April."

"Yeah, whateva. Pick me up one next time you're at Walgreens."

So I started grad school (a while ago) and have been pretty swamped with academic reading and writing. I'm trolling fic sites but not posting. Obviously. I think it's been literal years?

~But I am actually hoping to update/finish another, very old fic soon. Hint: this fic involves weed and I lied and told y'all it was a oneshot.~