A/N: Third and last part is here! I've realized that thanks have been delayed, and are very much in order. Thank you to the folks in the Garrus Chat for the encouragement, suggestions, and occasionally brain-bleach inducing comments...though I won't name names XD A special thanks to Aaron and Dani for beta-ing, and to Bree for transcribing Garrus's second romance conversation for me.

Fever Dream, Part Three

"Shepard, you look like shit."

Kaliya groaned to herself. Trust Jack's characteristic bluntness to immediately cut to the chase. The tattooed convict held up her hand, and the coffee pot came flying across the mostly empty mess hall, whizzing dangerously close to Kaliya's head. The Spectre glared at Jack, but she just laughed and poured herself a cup before offering it to Kaliya.

"What, did the krogan take a dump in your fish tank or something?" she asked.

Kaliya's mouth quirked a little at the admittedly disturbing mental image. "No, nothing like that." She declined the coffee--even after Cerberus's hefty reconstruction, she was still quite the lightweight, and she didn't want to be bouncing off the walls for a few hours. "Just had some trouble sleeping."

Jack scoffed. "So get some pills from Chakwas. Or hell, get Taylor to wear you out for a couple of hours."

Kaliya gaped at Jack, who blithely continued, "If he wasn't one of the Illusive Man's lapdogs and mooning after you all day, I'd hit that. Of course, as it is--"

"Okay, okay, I get the picture." Jack loved to try and get a rise out of her, and while it usually didn't succeed and she didn't really mind the banter, she wasn't in the mood for it after only a few hours of sleep.

Jack chuckled and shook her head, draining half her coffee in one gulp. "You're too damn inhibited, Shepard. You seriously need to get laid."

Kaliya opened her mouth to retort, then stopped. Jack was decidedly not a source of sound, reasoned ideas...but she'd inadvertently struck at part of Kaliya's predicament with Garrus. And while she'd be damned if she went to the unstable biotic for relationship advice...there was the inescapable fact that Jack had a lot more experience with sex in her short life than anyone else on board.

The sheer insanity of the situation did not escape her. Here she was asking Jack of all people for an opinion, but she did need an efficient solution to her feelings for Garrus. So instead of just walking away like she would have, she lapsed into a thoughtful silence, wondering how she was going to phrase her question. At least the mess was mostly empty--the bulk of the crew hadn't gotten up yet.

She glanced around to make sure that Garrus was nowhere in sight before taking a deep breath. "All right. Suppose I took that suggestion seriously," she said in a low voice, poker-faced. "Any ideas on how to proceed?"

It was probably the first time she'd rendered Jack speechless rather than the other way around. The young woman almost choked on her coffee. Finally, she rewarded Kaliya's honesty with a suspicious glare.

"Not a member of the girl's club, Shepard."

"Not what I meant," Kaliya snapped with a touch of exasperation. Her normally generous patience was a bit thin today, and it was uncomfortable enough talking about this without the very real possibility of someone overhearing them.

Jack stared at her, then a wide and slightly wicked smile spread across her face. "Hell," she said slowly, clearly enjoying the situation. "You're actually asking me for input?" When Kaliya didn't reply except to cross her arms and raise one eyebrow, Jack shrugged. "Well, like I said, Taylor spends half his time in briefing staring at your--"

"Not interested," said Kaliya quickly. "I was looking for more...general advice."

"OK. Just take whoever it is you want, slam him against a wall, and if he doesn't fight back, it's all good."

Kaliya groaned and dropped her face into her hands, feeling her pale cheeks burn. Never mind that Garrus was easily stronger than her at hand-to-hand combat--no, the mental image Jack had put in her head was a bad thing to be thinking about this early in the morning...not to mention uncomfortably distracting. "You're not helping."

Something in her voice must have tipped Jack off. "This is...actually bothering you, Shepard," she said incredulously.

There were a few seconds of thoughtful silence from Jack. Finally she said, "Look...I'm certainly not one to judge on...exotic encounters, but if this is Vakarian we're talking about, I've got no experience with those walking raptors."

If Kaliya had been blushing before, it was nothing on the burning in her cheeks and ears now. Damn her pale skin. Jack openly gaped at her, mouth hanging open. Kaliya could have kicked herself. If only biotics allowed one to evaporate on command. Talk about a lapse of judgment on her part--

"Looks like I guessed right," said Jack quietly. "No wonder you're freaked out." She opened her mouth, seemed to think better of what she was about to say, then closed it and frowned, thinking.

"Well, if you're not going to shove him up against a wall, just talk to him. That's what you do best--talk a problem to death until it cries uncle."

Kaliya managed a weak smile at the backhanded compliment despite her embarrassment--not exactly what she needed to hear, but practically a hug and a kiss for luck coming from Jack. Why had she thought this would be a remotely good idea? "I'm not sure that's the reaction one's supposed to provoke in this situation."

"Well, who else would Vakarian possibly have the hots for but you?" said Jack with a derisive scoff. "The Cerberus cheerleader? That crazy asari? Me? Shit, Shepard, he's practically glued to your hip already."

She might have protested under different circumstances, but the problem was that a lot of what Jack said rang true. Logically speaking, she and Garrus had always been very close, in this mission as well as the previous one. Of course, convincing herself of that over her insecurities was entirely impossible, and--

"Morning, Commander. Jack."

Jacob's voice came from around the corner, and it was all Kaliya could do not to jump out of her skin. She nodded at Jacob's salute, then turned back to Jack, blue eyes suddenly ferocious.

"Not a word about this to anyone else, understand?"

"Who do you think I am, Joker? Gossipy bitch of a pilot," Jack replied with a roll of her eyes. "Oh, and Shepard, if you need some liquid courage, I've got some stuff hidden away."

"You're kidding me," said Kaliya incredulously. "Jack, I've got no problem so long as it doesn't impact your mission performance, but if Miranda finds out--"

Jack shrugged. "Then I'll hit her over the head with the bottle. Not everyone plays nice like you, Shepard."

Kaliya decided to cut her losses at this point. She just shook her head and walked away, Jack's chuckles following her. She wasn't sure if the conversation with Jack had made her feel better or worse about the whole thing, but it certainly had given her food for thought. She grabbed a bagel from the mess and headed back on up to her quarters, intending to at least get something productive done before...whatever she intended to do about Garrus.

She tried her hardest to fight down the panicky feeling at the back of her mind, the self-preservation and distancing instinct forged by her gang days and Akuze and every other terrible thing that had happened in her life. Her every instinct, her every experience screamed in protest at the thought of being so vulnerable with another person, of letting him in, but she couldn't push Garrus away either.

She...needed him. Not just as a mission recruit, but she, Kaliya Shepard, depended on him for so much. And now, she had to just take a leap of faith and hope it worked out.

Leap of faith. She hated that phrase. And the longer she sat here thinking with nothing to distract her, the more likely she'd succumb to self-doubt and her own deep-set fears. She looked back at her console, decided to push the busy work aside and do some rounds checking out Normandy and the crew before talking to Garrus.

As perverse as it sounded, it was harder to dwell on her own problems when other people's problems were staring her in the face.

Garrus, who'd spent most of the day hiding in the gunnery control station, managed to get a surprising amount of work done given how distracted he was. The new upgrades were installed, and he liked their chances against a Collector ship a lot better now. Though if what Kaliya remembered about the Collector attack against the first Normandy was remotely accurate, they could always use bigger guns.

And again, his thoughts drifted back to her. His jaw tensed, and he went back to the new upgrades with a vengeance, as though the guns had done him some personal wrong. It was easier taking out his tension on them than actually talking to Kaliya about what had happened last night.

She hadn't been...upset. Or angry. He could tell when she was. Instead, when she pulled away from him, those big blue eyes had contained something wildly different from any emotion he'd ever seen from her. Deep flickerings of fear, but also...surprise? If only humans had proper mandibles with which to express themselves. He could only spend so long trying to read her expressions before the sheer range of possibilities drove him insane.

And speak of the devil, he heard a pair of soft footsteps heading toward the gunnery station. The door opened a second later, and he tried to appear busy, but dammit he'd already finished calibrating. And he did want to talk to her.

"Shepard," he said, trying to keep his voice casual. "Need me for something?"

She peeked around his shoulder. "You installed the new upgrades?" she said, sounding genuinely curious.

"Yeah. Normandy packs a lot more firepower now. I like our chances against the Collectors a lot better."

"Nicely done," said Kaliya appreciatively, sitting down on the bench. She decided that the best way to keep this from getting awkward was to just keep talking, try to fill the silences as easily as she could. "This mission just got a little less suicidal."

Garrus chuckled, and the tension eased just a little, though he could still feel it. Sometimes he wondered if it would be easier being on a neural network like the geth. He was pretty sure he and Kaliya were on edge for the same reason, but it wasn't a subject easily broached. Stupid, really, when he thought about it--dancing around the issue. Yet here they were, dancing away.

He cast around for another subject, and found it almost immediately. At least she made it easy for him, though he wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. "It's strange going into a suicide mission on a human ship. Your people don't prepare for high-risk operations the way turians do."

Kaliya raised an eyebrow. "So how do turians prepare? Normandy's part turian design, I might as well incorporate some of the customs."

"You've already done some of that, I think," Garrus admitted, thinking back to their first mission together. Once she'd gotten full control over Normandy, Shepard had taken full advantage of her Spectre status to adjust how things were done aboard her ship. "More operational discipline, fewer personal restrictions. You're pretty lax about the little things as long as we get our jobs done. That's a little more along the lines of turian mentality, though Normandy does lack the training rooms of a turian vessel."

"Training rooms?" she asked. "For what, exercise? Sparring?"

"Whatever helps people work off stress," he explained. "It's supervised, of course, and it's a good way to settle grudges amicably. There was this one time when--"

He suddenly stopped talking. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to go into this with Kaliya, not after the awkwardness of last night. And it was just getting to be comfortable talking to her again.

"When what?" she prompted curiously. She'd loved Garrus's stories about action on the Citadel, so different from her experiences in the Alliance. Her formidable biotics and gifts for nonviolent resolution had resulted in assignment to less high-profile, but equally strategic missions. Until she became a Spectre, she'd rarely seen visible action the way Garrus had.

"When..." he began reluctantly, but her body language made it clear she was genuinely curious. "When we were about to hit a batarian pirate squad. This recon scout and I had been at each other's throats, and she suggested we settle it in the ring."

He chuckled a little at the memory, beginning to pace back and forth. "She and I were the top-ranked hand-to-hand specialists on the ship. I had reach, but she had flexibility. It was brutal, and after nine rounds the judge called it a draw."

"Ouch," said Kaliya quietly. "No tiebreakers?"

His mandibles twitched and he coughed. "Well...we ended up holding one in her quarters, if you know what I mean. I had...reach, but, uh, she had flexibility."

There was a very awkward silence, broken by Kaliya's laughter. "Wow," she said. "Got a little more story than I expected there."

"Sorry, Commander," he said hastily. "I didn't meant to--"

"No, it's fine," she said, getting to her feet. Thank god for the dim lighting down here--she could feel her cheeks starting to burn again, and plunged forward with what she wanted to say before she lost her nerve. "In fact, it...gave me an idea."

Garrus stared at her, hardly daring to believe what he was hearing. "I...uh...didn't think you'd feel like sparring, Commander," he said cautiously.

She really could have used some of that 'liquid courage' Jack had suggested, brain cells be damned. But here she was, she and Garrus staring at each other yet again in an increasingly tense silence.

She couldn't say it--she just couldn't. But Garrus had thankfully given her an out. "Actually, I think you could teach me a thing or two," she said. "Hand-to-hand combat has always been a weakness of mine." She looked down at her arms, at the little pink lines that still covered them, and added, "That got brought home to me dealing with Morinth."

Garrus let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding, uncertain whether to be relieved or disappointed. "I'll go easy on you, Shepard," he teased gently.

Cargo holds were not the ideal places to spar, but Garrus was nothing if not resourceful. There would be a little echoing, but he'd laid down mats and grabbed some medigel so no one would get hurt. There were still a few minutes to go before Shepard turned up, and he took the time to stretch and limber up a little. It was late in the evening now, and most of the crew had gone to their quarters. He hadn't done this in a while, and he'd certainly never sparred against a human female. But he did know how Kaliya moved in battle, and he knew that for all his apparent physical advantages, she had surprises up her sleeve.

She was physically smaller and lighter than him, but those things didn't matter as much at times. He'd seen Kaliya cornered in close quarters once or twice, and not only was she agile and flexible, she was the most underhanded fighter he'd ever seen. She would kick, scratch, bite, punch--he'd even seen her dig the edge of her armor into someone's eye once.

Hopefully she'd hold back on that instinct here. He heard the door open behind him, turned around, and felt his mouth fall open.

Less restrictive clothing was a must, but...her exercise outfit left about as much to the imagination as Miranda's body suit. The black cloth hugged her legs and body, cutting off at her feet. He realized he was gaping, and quickly turned away.

"Ah. Shepard," he said, mandibles flaring out. "We'll start off slow, pick up the pace if you feel you're up to it."

Kaliya quirked an eyebrow at him. He too was dressed in less than she was used to seeing, a blue shirt that cut off at the arms, and matching blue pants. "Rules?" she asked, joining him in stretching.

Garrus thought about it for a moment. "Well, seeing how we don't have a referee, we'll have to call it ourselves. No permanent damage, no teeth or claws, and no biotics."

"No biotics? Are you just asking me to get my ass kicked?"

Anyone else might have backed down, but Garrus knew her too well. She wasn't actually angry, and he was right when it came to this. "No biotics," he said firmly. "Shepard, the whole point of this exercise was to blow off some steam and work on your hand to hand. I won't be much good for teaching you if you break my arm with a biotic punch."

She glared for a few seconds, then nodded, backing down. She understood why the ground rules were set as they were. It did, however, place her at a tremendous disadvantage. Garrus was stronger, taller, and much less vulnerable than she was without armor. Without her biotics, and without fighting to inflict serious harm...it was a very different combat situation from most she'd been in since after basic training.

When they were both ready, Garrus took up a position across the room from her. She fell into a defensive stance. She wasn't a hand-to-hand specialist--her style was avoiding a scenario like the one she found herself in now, and her instincts kicked in.

Garrus made the first move and took a step toward her, causing her to immediately jump to the side. He chuckled a little and shook his head.

"Nervous, Shepard?"

She didn't reply, watching his movements as they slowly circled one another. Each full step of his was about one and a half of hers. Now that neither of them had armor or weapons, the physical difference between them became very apparent indeed.

She was cautious, defensive, calculating. And Garrus decided he had to upset that. This time he lunged at her without warning, intending to grab her around the middle. She darted underneath his arms and tumbled to the side with milliseconds to spare.

"Jesus," she said as she hastily backed away. "You weren't kidding about the reach."

A few more passes like that followed, which him making the first move, and her barely getting out of the way. It was like trying to catch a varren with his bare hands. "Shepard," he growled softly, voice rising. "Fight me, don't run from me!"

It didn't work. It was almost impossible to goad or faze Kaliya Shepard into doing anything she didn't want to do. If a Reaper couldn't use psychological tactics on her, he had no chance in hell. Instead, she just smiled that maddeningly calm half-smile and took a step back, gesturing for him to come at her.

He obliged, but this time, he came at her from an angle. She ducked again, but the cloth covering her legs caught the spur on the back of his leg, throwing her off balance. Garrus lost no time and spun, throwing her to the mat. He expected her to try and get up, but instead, she flipped to her side and aimed a kick at the back of his knee.

In the time it took him to dodge, she managed to jump back to her feet, her back arching at an angle that made him wince a little. "Not bad, Shepard," he said. "What's the human martial art that emphasizes flexibility?"

"Yoga," she replied, blue eyes narrowed in concentration. "And it's not a martial art."

"Doesn't change the fact that I've never seen anyone bend like that."

Inexplicably, Kaliya felt herself starting to blush. Now this was getting stupid. "Human females are much more flexible than human males," she said in as matter-of-fact voice as she could manage.

"Interesting. I was under the impression that--"

She jumped him mid-sentence, aiming for his legs. Garrus kicked out at her and caught her in the stomach, sending her flying backward, landing hard on her side, and he felt his heart plummet as she lay unmoving.

He rushed to her side, and heard her laughing at him just a moment too late. She rolled toward him and trapped his legs between hers, sending them both crashing to the floor. Before he knew it, she was sitting on his waist, his arms trapped by hers.

"Oldest trick in the book, Garrus," she said with a wicked smile. "Shouldn't have let your guard down."

Garrus allowed her to gloat for a few seconds before he simply pushed against her, easily overcoming her with sheer physical strength. With one twist of his body, their situations were quickly reversed.

"I'm stronger than you, Shepard," he said with a smirk, pinning her arms above her head, his face inches from hers. "You know that. So how are you going to get out of this?"

Kaliya's mind was spinning. He was hot, feverish to the touch, yet he hadn't even broken a sweat. She could feel his breath on her cheek, his pulse in the taloned hands that held her like a vice. He was absolutely right--trying to pull free of his grip would only break her bones. No biotics, no dirty fighting, no going for weak points that could cause permanent damage. But she wasn't going to lose to Garrus just because he was stronger than she was.

Head swimming, heart pounding, and almost completely helpless, she did the only thing she could do. Wincing against the pain in her shoulder joints, she turned her face toward his and kissed him.

His hands loosened, and suddenly she felt the arms that had been trapping her wrap around her and pull her up toward him. A low, almost predatory growl came from his throat as he buried his hands in her thick black hair. He tasted both sweet and bitter, and that strange musky scent she'd caught the previous night flooded her senses.

Garrus was all muscle and sinew, strength and heated skin scraping against hers. She had a vague sense of him holding her upright, of her legs wrapping around his waist, and a tiny voice at the back of her head screamed that this was a very bad idea, but there was fire in her blood like she'd never felt and blood pounding in her ears. Her hands wandered to the curious collar ridge, then lower along his spine.

She heard him gasp in surprise, and he abruptly pulled back from her. His eyes were wide, pupils dilated as he gasped for breath, the two of them half-sitting and half-collapsed on the mat.

He chuckled nervously, casting about for something to break the silence even as the realization of what had just happened began to hit home--hard. "I...uh...wow, Shepard. Didn't know you had a weakness for men with scars."

She seemed stunned by what she'd done, unable to speak. He continued talking, if only to have something to do. "Listen, Shepard, if you want to, we can just forget about this and--"

"No."

Her voice was shaky, but determined. "No," she said more clearly, as her mind finally caught up to her senses. She smiled a little and reached out a tentative hand toward him. Automatically, he took her pale, slim human hand in his, fingers resting between powerful talons. "I...well, this wasn't exactly how I planned to tell you, but it doesn't look like my feelings need much explaining any more."

And then it hit him with the force of a dreadnought. Kaliya Shepard, first human Spectre and savior of the galaxy, big goddamn hero Kaliya Shepard had just kissed him. Just run those beautiful, pale hands of hers along his skin. Disbelief, elation, and panic warred within him in equal parts, and words just came spilling out of his mouth.

"Shepard, I--I've got no experience here. I've never even considered cross-species intercourse." He frowned and shook his head. "Damn, saying it that way doesn't help, does it? Now I feel...dirty and clinical."

"Are we crazy to be even thinking about this?" he mused, oblivious to her internal turmoil. "Shepard...Kaliya..." He couldn't meet her eyes, instead focusing on her hand clasped in his. "It's not that I'm not...interested, but...I'm sure you can find something a little closer to home."

She shook her head and squeezed his hand. "Is that what you're worried about?" she asked quietly. "Garrus, I don't want something 'closer to home.' I want you. Someone I--" She stopped suddenly, checked herself, and said, "Someone I can trust."

But she had been the one to initiate all this, hadn't she? Quickly, she added, "But I'm not trying to pressure you. If you're not comfortable with this--"

Garrus shook his head to cut her off and curled one hand in her thick black hair, watching in surprise and curiosity as her eyes fluttered closed. "Shepard," he said quietly, "you're about the only friend I've got left in this screwed up galaxy." He sighed and looked at the two of them sitting there--human and turian, man and woman.

"I'm not going to pretend I've got a fetish for humans, but this isn't about that. This is about us." He smiled, stroking the back of her neck ever so gently with one claw. "You don't have to worry about making me uncomfortable. Nervous, maybe, but never uncomfortable."

The slow, shy smile that spread across her face was unlike anything he'd ever seen from her. She was blushing, a surefire sign she was just as nervous, but also smiling broadly. "So what happens now?" she asked. "I can do some research, figure out how we can make this work."

Garrus nodded and got to his feet, gently bringing her up with him. They were alone for now as they set the mats aside and put the cargo room back to rights, sneaking glances and little touches, but as soon as they stepped outside that door, all the complications of this, combined with the burdens of the mission, would come rushing back.

"I'd be discreet about this and wait, if you're okay with it," he said thoughtfully. "Disrupt the crew as little as possible." She nodded in agreement. "Then we can take that last chance to find some calm just before the storm."

"You know me," he added. "I always like to savor the last shot before popping the heat sink."

Kaliya's mouth quirked, then she started laughing, the same helpless laughter as the night before. He stared at her, confused, before the realization of exactly what he'd said began to sink in.

"Wait--that metaphor just went somewhere horrible!"

"Remember what I said, Garrus?" she said through her giggles. "Quit talking while you're ahead sometimes?"

"Yeah...apparently I'm not very good at that," he said sheepishly.

They both tossed clothes over their meager sparring garb, and when he turned back to look at her, she was back in the white, black, and gold of her uniform. Back to being Commander Shepard, with all the burdens and pains. How she could be both an inspiring and a heartbreaking sight like that was beyond him, but he took the opportunity to brush his hand against hers as she opened the door.

The elevator ride passed in a comfortable silence, their hands barely touching until they came to the crew level.

"You should get back to work," said Kaliya, shooing him out of the elevator.

"Right," said Garrus dryly. "Because I'm in a great place to optimize firing algorithms right now." He caught just a glimmer of a smile from her before the elevator doors shut behind him.

Back in the captain's quarters, Kaliya Shepard sat at her console, a mixture of nervous adrenaline and hope making her heart pound. She closed her eyes and the feelings came swimming back. Garrus's heady warmth, his strength, the strangely exotic feeling of that skin against hers. She briefly envied Thane and his perfect recollection, but she would take any happy memory she could get.

She decided to go to bed early, catch up on some lost sleep. Her sleep would not be peaceful--it never was. But at least tonight, she had a better chance for happy dreams.