Disclaimer: Characters and the Disaster Date title and concept belong to Sunrise and MTV, respectively.

This short story is for anyone who's ever gone on a horrible blind date. I feel for you. MTV concocted a show dedicated to these really bad dates, and it's hilarious! Remove the spaces to watch the funny extras!

http://www. mtv. com/ shows/ disaster_date /video. jhtml

"Tell me something, Mai!" Natsuki Kruger nagged her friend, Mai Tohika, on the phone while rifling through her closet for something to wear.

"Natsuki! What part of blind date don't you understand?" she said exasperatingly. "Trust me, she's your type."

"At least tell me her name! Remember how I had to attend all your classes for you when you got sick two months ago?" Natsuki hoped playing the guilt card could get Mai to budge.

"Hey, hold on."

Natsuki heard muffled sounds in the background. She wondered where the girl was.

"Okay, I'm back. Fine, you big baby! Her name is Shizuru Viola. I bet you're going to—"

"Look her up on Facebook? Hell yes!" Natsuki abandoned her mission of searching for an outfit and plopped herself in front of her laptop.

"Damn, she's not on it." She turned off the device and went back to her closet.

"You're going to see her in an hour, so it's no big deal. I got to go, but remember you're meeting her at the Otome Café. I gave her your description. Good luck Natsuki!"

"Alright, thanks Mai!"

Natsuki picked out a simple outfit consisting of a tank top and jeans. She was out the door when the clock said she had fifteen minutes to get to the intended meeting place.

"Alright everyone, we have fifteen minutes until Natsuki arrives. Make sure all the cameras and sound equipment are working," a woman instructed into a microphone.

"Oh my god Midori, I can't believe this is really going to happen!" Mai appeared to be in a daze as she watched technicians inspect the audio visual devices through a monitor. She was sitting with the director in a makeshift control room at the back of the Otome Café.

"Yep, your friend has no idea she's about to appear on an episode of Disaster Date," Midori quipped.

Disaster Date was a television show where friends who had been set up on bad dates get to exact their revenge by setting up their friend with a paid actor or actress who knew all of their dating don'ts. The show sympathized with the poor clueless souls, so they'll receive a dollar for every minute they last on the hour-long date.

In Mai's case, Natsuki had set her up with a freaky girl who was obsessed with cats. She even petted Mai's hair and requested her to mew like the feline! The date was so bad that Mai never fully forgave Natsuki. After today, she might be able to, depending on how horrendous Natsuki's date turned out.

"Hey everyone," Shizuru greeted the people in the room. Shizuru Viola was an improvisational actress who had gone on four of these disaster dates already.

"One last time, Natsuki hates girls who crack their joints—the sounds freak her out—and are overly dramatic to the point of causing a scene. Oh yeah, getting jealous over stupid things is another big no-no," Mai reiterated Natsuki's biggest pet peeves.

Shizuru chuckled. "Relax Mai, I'm a professional, remember?"

"Right. Right." The girl seemed much more at ease.

"And besides, you can direct me through the earpiece." She winked at her and left to wait for Natsuki.

"Oh man, this is going to be awesome!"

Natsuki parked her bike and took a big inhale before entering the cozy eatery. Shizuru walked up to her and held out her hand. "Hello, you must be Natsuki. I'm Shizuru Viola."

Natsuki nervously shook her hand. She had no idea Mai knew such a beautiful girl who exuded an air of maturity. "Yes, I am. H–hi Shizuru."

Mai could tell Natsuki was already smitten from the brief stutter. Shizuru was definitely one attractive lady in a flattering top and cuffed shorts.

"So, how do you know Mai?" Natsuki asked, slightly annoyed that Mai didn't introduce them sooner. She was very drawn to Shizuru's crimson eyes and sexy accent.

"I met her at the Corals & Pearls during lunch. Asked her for the salt and the next thing I knew, we had a class together." Shizuru graduated from Garderobe University two years ago, so she knew about the student life there. Unless students stopped being hungry, they would still eat at the popular diner close to the campus. So her story was completely plausible.

"Wow! I met Mai there too!"

"What a coincidence!" Shizuru beamed and heard Mai's directive through the earpiece. It was time to give Natsuki a taste of the date from hell. She began squirming in her seat and loosening up her body.

"Um, are you okay?" Natsuki didn't know what to make of her sudden movements.

"You know, sometimes you just have to…"

Shizuru laced her fingers together and cracked her knuckles. Natsuki sucked in her breath and snapped her eyes shut. She recoiled at the succession of cracking noises. Then Shizuru individually popped each one to make sure she got them all and popped her neck in the process. Natsuki counted numbers in her head to stay calm. She could get through this; she just had to focus on the numbers and not the grating sounds. But the jarring torture didn't stop there.

She abruptly slid her chair back, startling Natsuki. Shizuru stood up and twisted her torso back and forth. Pop, pop, pop went her back. Natsuki's jaw hung wide open. The people in the restaurant, who were all actors as well, gawked at Shizuru with mouth agape and then shifted to Natsuki.

"Hey, can you please stop and sit down?" Natsuki whispered harshly, completely mortified at the stares they were getting. She wondered what in the world possessed Shizuru to pull a stunt like that. In public no less! The girl looked so well-mannered!

"But I still have my toes to—"

"NO! I'm sure your toes wouldn't mind if you saved them for later. Please, please sit down!"

Shizuru obeyed with a happy smile, mentally laughing at her date's highly embarrassed face.

"Oh my god! That was hilarious! Keep it up, Shizuru!" Mai guffawed into the earpiece.

Natsuki stared hard at the menu and began to question Mai's sanity. Her friend was well-aware she had a major aversion to those cringe-inducing sounds. But then she thought perhaps Mai didn't know all of Shizuru's quirks or Shizuru never did that in front of her before. She was going to give her date the benefit of the doubt.

A waitress came up to them. "Hello, I'm Nao. What can I get for you today?"

Natsuki looked up at the redheaded waitress. "Hi. I'll get the crab cakes with red pepper mayo and water please." She smiled and handed the menu to Nao. The waitress smiled back.

"I'll have the same," Shizuru said frostily and glared at Nao. The girl quickly scampered away. Natsuki was taken aback by the chilly reception.

Shizuru crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at Natsuki. "You just totally flirted with that waitress," she said with great offense, "while you're on a date with me."

"What! No! I was being polite," Natsuki reassured her. Now she began questioning if the girl was bipolar. Shizuru was so great when they first sat down, and now she became jealous over nothing!

"But you smiled at her! And she smiled back! Am I not good enough for you, Natsuki?!" The actress started to get hysterical, attracting the other patrons' attention again. Shizuru was in acting heaven.

Natsuki's right hand shielded half of her face as she sank deeper into her chair, wishing she could magically become invisible right now. This was not how this blind date was supposed to go! She thought she had hit the jackpot when she first laid eyes on Shizuru, but now she realized she was stuck with a potential nut job.

Nao arrived with their food and drinks, causing Shizuru to simmer down. The hapless victim mentally thanked Nao for saving her from further embarrassment. She quietly ate her crab cake, deciding if she should leave now and ambush Mai and strangle her for setting her up with a crazy girl. It was very tempting.

"What are you thinking about?" Shizuru suddenly sprang on her, eager to know if she was considering bailing on their date. The actress had scared off her previous blind dates by the twenty minute mark. Shizuru commended Natsuki for exceeding that time by another twenty minutes. She thought Natsuki must be a very understanding person because if she ever went on a date with a neurotic girl like the one she was portraying, she would bolt as soon as possible. Avoiding unnecessary drama was one of Shizuru's ongoing goals in life.

"I – I was, uh, thinking about, uh, how long you might have known Mai," she lied. She started drinking her water.

"Oh, I see." From her pauses, Shizuru knew Natsuki was lying. "I've known her for two days."

Natsuki sputtered out the water. "T–two days?! And you agreed to do this?" This girl was absolutely crazy! Who goes on a blind date with a friend of someone she's known for two days?! Natsuki was definitely going to smack some sense into Mai later. How could she trust Shizuru so soon?!

"Uh huh!" She nodded happily. "Mai described you to me, and I like what I heard." Shizuru gave her a lopsided smile.

Natsuki couldn't help but feel a tad guilty for bashing her so much before the admission. "Oh." Maybe Shizuru wasn't that crazy. She thought Shizuru was so much more pleasant when she wasn't a top class drama queen.

Nao came back to check on them. "How's everything going here? Do you need anything else?"

"Nope. We're good. Thanks." Natsuki learned her lesson and made sure she didn't smile at Nao. She preferred a subdued Shizuru over the hysterical one from earlier. However, her brief glance at Nao after she walked away was fodder for Shizuru's green-eyed monster to flare again.

"You just checked out her butt in front of me!" Shizuru accused in a high-pitched voice. In truth, Natsuki was about to ask for more mayo, but the waitress was too far away.

Natsuki's jaw dropped once more. Was she being punished for a crime she didn't know about? She tried to speak but only meaningless squeaks came out. She wondered if Shizuru was on some kind of medication and missed today's dose because there had to be an explanation for her bizarre freak outs.

"Silence means you admit you're guilty!" She threw a finger at Natsuki's face.

"I was not checking her out," Natsuki said lowly. "Please calm down. You're making a scene," she stressed, glancing at the people watching them. Shizuru took this opportunity to quickly dab some water around her eyes. The next thing Natsuki heard was sniffles.

"Y–you don't want to be seen with me!" Shizuru wailed and roughly wiped her eyes.

"Oh my god! You're crying?!" Natsuki didn't know whether to join the cry fest because this was the worst date ever or because she was an idiot for staying this long. The people around her were shaking their head and whispering how horrible the blue haired girl was for making the other girl cry. That did it. She had to flee this hot mess!

"I'm sorry, but this is so not working out!" She dropped several bills on the table and walked away, muttering how attractive being single is right now.

Shizuru quickly whirled her around. "This didn't working out because you're on Disaster Date! I'm an actor," she pointed to herself, and they're all actors too!" Nao and the people in the restaurant waved. "And there are hidden cameras all over the place! Your friend set this whole thing up!"

"What the!" Natsuki's eyes bulged out. "So you're not really insane?!"

Shizuru laughed loudly. "Nope! You lasted fifty minutes on this rigged date, so here's fifty dollars for your troubles!" Shizuru handed her the money, and Natsuki limply held it. She was too busy celebrating in her head that she didn't just really go on a blind date with a loony bin escapee! Shizuru wasn't emotionally unstable!

"Natsukiiiii!" Mai ran up to her, followed by a cameraman. She mocked, "I got you good! This is payback for that cat girl you set me up with! I told Shizuru the kind of girls you hate!"

Natsuki slapped Mai's arm. "You freakin' prankster!" Mai's payback was definitely a bitch.

"Now we're even with horrible dates!" Mai grinned and patted her on the shoulder.

"Whatever Mai! Yours wasn't captured on film! Mine is going to be televised!" Natsuki shook her head and folded her arms.

"Cut!" Midori yelled not far away from them. She walked up to Natsuki and commiserated with the poor girl like she did for all of the unwitting victims. Mai left with Midori because she wanted to see shots of Natsuki's super embarrassed face again. Natsuki attempted to kick her shin but the girl sidestepped it in time and taunted her as she ran off.

Natsuki cursed Mai under her breath and turned around when she felt a tap on her shoulder. It was Shizuru. Her irritated face became somewhat pleasant. She couldn't blame Shizuru for the disastrous date because Mai was the mastermind behind everything.

"You know, I've been on five of these dates now, and you're the one that's lasted the longest." Shizuru drummed her index finger against her chin. "Hmm, I wonder if my acting wasn't up to par this time around or you're actually a very patient person," she joked.

Natsuki chuckled nervously. Should she tell her the truth? That she only hung around because Shizuru was a stunner? She might as well since she had nothing left to lose. Her pride was already shot to hell, and it would be nonexistent when her segment aired.

"Not going to lie. I only tolerated your basket case shenanigans because you were gorgeous." The corners of her mouth twitched into a guilty smile.

"And here I thought I was beginning to lose my touch!"

"No, no!" The palm of her hands urgently waved to the actress. "You portrayed the role of a knuckle-cracking-back-popping-emotionally-unstable-girl to a T!" she said with conviction. Shizuru really had her completely fooled. The girl was definitely a talented actress.

Shizuru tipped her head back and laughed heartily. The only thought running through Natsuki's head was wow. She would pay good money for a copy of that tuneful melody! One replay was enough to lift her spirits on a bad day.

The actress recovered from her laughing fit and smiled broadly. "You're quite the charmer. I don't why you needed to go on a blind date. There should be plenty of girls lining up to date you."

Plenty? No. Several? Yes. But they couldn't carry on a meaningful conversation with her for long, which was a real shame. And they were way too dramatic for her taste. She was eager to see if Mai's friend could be an outlier in the sea of conformity. Though Shizuru turned out to be an actress who was paid to go on a date with her, Natsuki believed the panacea for her dating woes was in front of her, evidenced by the witty remarks and her mature aura. Fifty minutes told her that if they went on a real date, there wouldn't be any awkward silence between them. They could dissect their scripted meeting for hours on end!

She looked directly into Shizuru's eyes and boldly revealed, "They'll have to wait because I want to get to know this one girl better."

Shizuru was surprised by this turn of event. But she was definitely interested. The actress had a good laugh when Mai told her Natsuki's aversion to the joint cracking sounds. Sure, they sound unpleasant, but people generally tolerate them to varying degrees. They don't have strong reactions like Natsuki did. Even before meeting her, she knew Natsuki was going to be something else. Her intuition never let her down. The sapphire-haired beauty stood out to her: she was a genuine girl among the many spurious ones Shizuru had come to know. Shizuru could recognize when the real deal was in front of her.

"Really?"

"Mm-hmm. You might know her. She played this crazy, off-the-wall chick like nobody's business!" she jested.

Shizuru smirked and leaned into Natsuki's ear to whisper, "What if she's really like that? Aren't you afraid?"

She replied huskily, "I'll take my chances. I would rather be mad with her everyday than be sane without her for one more night." Her pinky finger smoothly grazed Shizuru's.

The actress slowly curled her pinky, hooking the pinkies together. "I'll be sure to relay your message," she said with a wink.

Natsuki's cheeks were tinged with color. "Do you, um," she feigned a cough, "know if she's free at eight tonight because I would love to meet her at Corals & Pearls for dinner?"

Shizuru saw so much hope swirling in Natsuki's jade pools, and the girl was biting her lower lip in nervousness. She looked beyond cute. It was time for Shizuru to drop the charades and be serious. "I'll see you at eight, Natsuki," she answered warmly.

If Natsuki had a flair for the theatrics like Shizuru did, she would jump up and down in glee! But she did not, so she flashed the actress a brilliant smile instead. It wasn't as exciting, but it still elicited a giggle from Shizuru.

The director called Shizuru over, leaving Natsuki by herself. Mai came back to her and said that they could leave soon.

"You know, I'm surprised you're not as angry as I imagined you'd be once you knew." Mai eyed her friend curiously.

"Yeah, but thanks to you, this nightmare date might lead to my best date ever…" Natsuki trailed off, looking at Shizuru who smiled at her when their eyes met.

Best date ever, indeed.