Chapter Thirty-Eight: Requiem for the Lost, Part Two

Glittering upon the infinite black, the galactic cloud above dusted the midnight sky with flecks of silver, the only source of light in a land cast in shadow. Along the crestline of a distant mountain range, a halo of cool light glowed, promising the imminent arrival of the moon.

And as the waxing crescent peeked, its soft radiance shone down, illuminating a mountain meadow still lush despite the heat of late summer. Sprays of lavender peppered the grassy field, its herbal scent inundating the air. As he entered the meadow, Sesshoumaru breathed it in, enjoying the fragrance's purity in a world often muddied by the hive of nature and man.

Yet despite the floral pleasure that cleansed his senses, the scent that he sought was strangely absent. After testing the air again, he turned to the side, his attention on the crest of the two-headed staff bobbing along the grass behind him.

"Jaken, he asked as he picked away at a bit of detritus caught in his pelt, "You're certain that this is the field that you put Ah-Un to pasture in?"

The staff sputtered to a stop. "Ah, yes, Sesshoumaru-sama. This is definitely the one. I'm certain of it."

He raised an eyebrow. "As you were certain of the last one? Or the one before that?"

"Uh…" he stammered.

"That each field is rife with lavender, a scent for which I have great fondness, is not a coincidence."

The staff trembled and took a hesitant step backward.

"Jaken."

Another step.

"Jaken," he called out again and raised his index finger around which a bright green light swirled. "You have a choice. Come out to where I can see you, or I will carve you out."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama," he obliged, his tone depressed by surrender.

Grass and lavender stalks rippled as the staff approached the daiyoukai. Then the small, green youkai emerged onto a bare patch of dirt sculpted by spring runoff.

Sesshoumaru stared at him and waited, his hair glinting under the silvery moonlight.

"Please, my lord," Jaken began, his eyes fixed on the ground, "I didn't mean to mislead you."

"Where's Ah-Un?"

"I sent the beast away."

"Where?"

"Please, Sesshoumaru-sama—"

"Where?!" he boomed.

"To Midoriko's Cave…" Jaken confessed quietly, his eyes still on the ground. "To Inuyasha."

Sesshoumaru's eyes hardened into a glare and the green light that enveloped his index finger leapt to his other fingers until it had swallowed his entire hand. "You did what?"

"Sesshoumaru-sama, I—"

"Who are you to make such decisions without consulting with me?" he demanded, and his glowing hand tightened into a fist. "Who are you to make an accord with that hanyou without my permission? Without my consent?"

"Sesshou—"

"Such foolish deceit…" He strode towards him. "I thought you wiser than that."

"I had to…"

"Enough."

"I had to!" Jaken yelled at him, the sclera of his eyes blazing bright yellow. "I had to."

Sesshoumaru stopped, his mouth slightly agape.

"Ah-Un…" he admitted, sorrow aching in his voice. "The beast has served you well. Bravely even. So, when I saw the scar, I knew that it deserved a chance however slim it would be."

"Jaken."

"And I sent it away."

"Jaken," he repeated firmly. The green glow was gone. "Remove your tunic. Show me your chest."

An agony worse than acid claws raking his skin tormented his expression. "Sesshoumaru-sama, please…"

"Remove your tunic and show me your chest."

"Please," he begged. "Don't ask me for that…"

With an almost imperceptible kindness in his eyes, Sesshoumaru waited.

The night breeze rustled the grass and the redolence of lavender swelled in the air.

Exhausted, Jaken rested his staff onto the ground. Using both hands, he pulled his dark brown tunic over his head. Folding it neatly, he set it beside the staff before parting his undercoat to expose his chest. Across his tiny frame, the scar of a spider gripped him tight.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"You're a lord of great importance," he replied, tracing the scar with his finger. "It wasn't worth troubling you over."

He shook his head, puzzled. "How is your affliction unworthy of my time? You should have told me sooner. About you. And about Ah-Un."

An unexpected chuckle bubbled from him. "How could I? You're a daiyoukai. The Lord of the Western Lands. The wielder of Bakusaiga. You dominated Tokijin and brought the dead back to life."

"What do my exploits and aristocratic station have to do with it?"

"Where the weak succumb, the strong thrive," Jaken replied, the weight of the statement bowing his bony shoulders.

Sesshoumaru blinked.

The glow that illuminated his eyes grew brighter. "I didn't tell you because I didn't need it proven that I'm unimportant to you. That I'm unnecessary. Or unworthy." He stripped off his undercoat and tossed it beside his tunic as he lay bare the rest of his fragile torso. "I know that I'm a lower status youkai. And I know that I'm weak and what that means in the natural order of life. I just didn't want to be pitied by my lord for succumbing to that fate."

"Jaken."

His eyes grew glossy as tears started to well. "And I didn't want to give you a reason to abandon me for being useless. To cast me away."

"Jaken, I…"

"You're not a sentimental man, Sesshoumaru-sama," he explained, his cheeks slick with tears. "You threw away Tokijin and Tenseiga when you judged that they were no longer worthy of you." He looked up into his eyes, pain carving his features. "I wanted Ah-Un to have a chance, but more than that, I just wanted to finish my life in your service. Following a few steps behind you. Just like always."

Sesshoumaru opened his mouth as if to speak, but all that was said was silence.

An agonizing cry exploded from Jaken's lips, and he collapsed onto the ground. Grasping at his chest, he writhed, overcome with convulsions.

"Jaken!" Sesshoumaru called out, and in a blur of white and red, he knelt beside him. Unsure of what to do, his hands hovered over him, eclipsing his body and leaving him to wonder if he'd always been so small.

His soft green complexion turned purplish.

"Jaken, breathe!"

With a wheezing gasp, he sucked down a lungful of air, his ribs flaring. Then another.

Reaching down, Sesshoumaru rubbed his delicate chest, feeling his heart racing under his thumb. "Breathe."

Falling into a steady rhythm, Jaken's breathing evened out, and soon the pain and stiffness that contorted his body lessened. Weakly, his tiny hand grasped Sesshoumaru's thumb and pulled it close. "Sesshoumaru-sama."

"It's all right, Jaken," he replied, scooping him up into the crook of his arm. "We're going to see Inuyasha."

"But, Sesshoumaru-sama…" he blubbered, too tired to hide his despair.

"We're going together," he soothed as winds of youki swelled around them. "I won't leave you. You're… You're worthy of me."

A euphoric wave of relief washed over Jaken's face, sending more tears spilling down his cheeks. Then he sobered and grabbed at the fur pelt he was nestled against. "Wait…" he begged.

"What is it?"

"The staff. I can't leave it."

As the rising youki swirled and buffeted against him, Sesshoumaru looked down at the two-headed staff half hidden in the grass. He shook his head. "It's not important."

"You placed it into my trust. I can't leave it."

"It's a trifle."

"It was your gift to me."

Frowning, Sesshoumaru looked down into Jaken's eyes and the resolve that glowed there. With a nod, he leaned forward and plucked the staff from the grass. Gently, he laid it against his shoulder where Jaken grabbed it and drew it close.

Then the whipping youki surged, and they took flight, the rising crescent moon at their backs.

OOOOOOOOOO

As the moon settled over the western horizon, the first rays of morning light warmed the night sky in the east. Jetting on a torrent of youki, Sesshoumaru flew, his hair and pelt whipping behind him. The green fragrance of the countryside transformed into pungent pine as he entered the mountains. In a blur, rugged forests and craggy slopes sped past below. And as he inhaled, he caught a scent in the downdraft. One that he missed.

"We're close," he said softly. Under the comfort of his pelt, Jaken lay bundled against him. He'd suffered two more attacks since they had set out, each one worse than the last. A strange sensation knotted in his chest, reminding him of Rin, limp and cold in a barren underworld. It spurred him to fly faster. And to hope.

The dark shadows of an abandoned taijiya stronghold flashed past and on the mountainside beyond it, the amber glow of oil lanterns burned. His hold on Jaken tightened as he dispelled his youki and glided into land.

As he touched down, a medley of youkai scents struck him. At the mouth of the cave, rows and rows of ailing youkai lay on woven mats under the lanternlight. And hustling between them, both youkai and humans tended to their needs. A young woman in a plain kimono caught his eye as she sponged water onto a parched kappa.

"Rin," he called out.

She looked up and a smile warmed her face when she saw him. "Sesshoumaru-sama."

With a gentle touch on its shoulder, she comforted the kappa, and then rose to her feet. She was taller and leaner than when he last saw her, leaving him to marvel at how quickly humans grew. And as she approached, the sway of her body hinted at the lovely young woman she was becoming. The tightness in his chest eased. She had died twice and was still here. There was a chance.

"When Ah-Un arrived, I knew that you'd come and help," she said, gazing up at him, admiration in her eyes. "You're the Great Lord Sesshoumaru, how could you do otherwise?"

The tightness redoubled, turning into a dull ache.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her joy sobering into worry.

With a hesitancy he hadn't expected, he opened his arm enough to reveal the green and brown figure nestled against his pelt. Gently, he shifted Jaken to face her.

"Jaken-sama!" she gasped, her hand grasping at the lapels of her kimono. "No, not Jaken-sama, too."

"Rin?" Jaken rasped, and his eyes blinked open. Unseeing at first, they glowed softly when he found her, and he mustered a weak smile. "Rin."

"You're so small," she said and reached to stroke his cheek.

He chuckled. "A human girl teasing my about my height. You're definitely Rin." Wincing, he sat up and surveyed his naked upper body. Then he let out a squawk. "Sesshoumaru-sama, Rin's gifts were in my tunic."

"They're unimportant," he replied.

"But—"

"Unimportant," he assured.

Rin's fingertips left Jaken's cheek to feel the spider-shaped scar on his chest. Tears brimmed in her eyes as she traced the legs that wrapped around him.

And when she stifled a sob, what hope Sesshoumaru held evaporated.

"Perhaps it would be better if—" he began.

"Wait," she interrupted, touching his forearm, "You should still see Inuyasha. He's inside the cave." She let out a shaky sigh. "You've both come so far."

He looked down into her dark eyes.

"Please."

"As you wish," he acquiesced, drawing a sad smile from her in reply.

With her hand still on his forearm, she led them inside. Hanging above and in clusters around them, stalactites and stalagmites littered the cave and shaped the winding path they followed. Nestled among their columns, simple oil lamps burned, their light reflecting against the glittering limestone. Humans and canine youkai hustled back and forth along the path, carrying supplies and missives. And mixed in among them, serpentine and spider varieties followed suit, doing their share. A hive of species, predators and prey, allied together.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" Rin remarked, catching his look. "Everyone working together. It wasn't easy, especially since we still don't know where the infection came from. But he convinced everyone that this was the best chance that they had. The only chance that they had."

The quick rhythm of running feet approached from behind. Bumping into him as he brushed past, a wolf youkai with a long, black ponytail loped by.

"Sorry!" he shouted back with a cavalier brightness that undercut his apology and he disappeared around the bend.

Beyond, the echo of his footfalls dampened under the rising rush of a crowd. As they followed him into the bend, the cave opened up into a massive cavern. At the apex of a high, arcing ceiling, the morning sun shone down, revealing a swarm of people at work. Humans and youkai alike, they packed supplies and aided the infirm, the early hour having no impact on their efforts.

Breathing in, Sesshoumaru caught the familiar scents of the unlikely allies that had fought alongside him during their protracted battle against Naraku. And mixed in among them, he teased out the profile of his half-brother. His brow furrowed. Inuyasha's scent wasn't quite as he remembered.

"Oy, Dog-Face!" the wolf youkai called out, heading towards the center of the cavern, a swagger in his stride. "I'm back."

"Wolf-Cub," a raspy voice answered back dripping with sarcasm. "And here I had bet Miroku that you'd be half-stone by the time you left the cave."

"You wish!" he scoffed and pounded his chest. "I've got wolf's blood running through my veins. Not weak dog blood like you."

"Well, Kouga, since you're not dead and I don't see your tail tucked between your legs, I assume that you contacted the inu daiyoukai?"

"Yeah," Kouga replied, removing the sheathed sword at his hip and handing it to him. "When I went out to that hillside where we parted ways years ago and waved Tetsusaiga around, I definitely got your step-mom's attention."

"I don't think that she's my step-mom," he replied dryly.

"Close enough, right?"

"No."

"And what happened?" a young woman interrupted tiredly.

Kouga sighed. "And despite being in isolation from the rest of youkaikind, her vassals have become infected, too. While I was floating around in her sky palace, she dumped a few of her people into both the underworld and your old man's gravesite. There was no effect on the progress of the infection."

"Damn…" he cursed. "I was hoping for something other than bad news this morning."

"Why? What happened?"

"We got word back from Yakurodokusen," the woman replied. "He and Jinenji have been working nonstop on developing an antidote, but the more research they do, the more certain they are that it's not a poison. The best that they've come up with is an incense mixture that slows the spider's progress and dulls the pain but not by much. And…"

"And?"

"And the old sage has the spider now, too."

Uttering a rambling string of expletives, Kouga turned around, his irises ignited in bright blue.

"Look, I'm heading out to see Bokuseno this morning. We still have hope, because if anyone has seen anything like this before it's that ancient magnolia tree."

Then Kouga's vulgar expression of frustration sputtered to a stop. "Oh, that's who I bumped into."

"Inuyasha-sama!" Rin called out with a wave, "Sesshoumaru-sama is here!"

As he gave Kouga a firm pat on the shoulder, a young man stepped out from behind him.

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened.

Haloed in long, black hair, Inuyasha approached him. "I'm glad that you're here, Sesshoumaru. Sorry that I didn't notice sooner."

"You're human," he said, giving the air a light sniff to confirm what his eyes could see.

"Yeah," he agreed, glancing at his dull nails and sandaled feet. "The infection petrifies youkai but hanyous just transition to their non-youkai state. When the new moon came, I turned human and that was that. Seems like a blessing compared to the alternative, but it still means another dead youkai as far as I'm concerned." He paused. "I wasn't certain that you were going to come, but when Ah-Un showed up a couple weeks ago, I figured there was a chance."

He looked away, the tightness in his chest tugging at him.

"Oh… I see," Inuyasha intuited, and he sighed, his disappointment deepening the exhaustion that weathered his face. Then his gaze drifted to the bundle cradled against Sesshoumaru's chest and empathy filled his dark eyes. "Jaken has the spider, too?"

"He's had three attacks this night," Sesshoumaru explained. "I thought perhaps…"

Swallowing down, he shook his head.

"It's all right, Sesshoumaru-sama," Jaken croaked. "You brought me here. You tried."

And the tightness in his chest burst.

"No, I didn't try," Sesshoumaru corrected, anger roughening his voice. "When it didn't appear to be the result of purification or corruption, I deemed it unworthy of my time because it affected those who I looked down upon. Those who I have slaughtered without a second thought. And when I was made aware of its severity, I took umbrage with the truth in its delivery and let my pride blind me. I, a youkai lord, did less than trying. I did nothing."

A hand clasped his arm and he looked over to discover Inuyasha at his side.

"You're here now and we're not done fighting."

"You don't understand," Sesshoumaru explained, "I didn't come here to save youkaikind. I came here to save Jaken, and even so, my only vassal didn't believe that I cared enough about him to try. You were right. At my core, I don't care about anyone but myself and what I want. I'm a lord in name and not in action."

"But you can stay and do more than that," the young woman assured. Dressed in the white and red robes of a priestess, Kagome walked towards him. "I believe in you, and through redemption, you'll become the lord you were meant to be. The Demon of Namidabashi."

He stared at her quizzically, and then Jaken began to shudder against his chest.

"No," Rin begged, fresh tears burning in her eyes. "Not yet."

"Jaken," Sesshoumaru called out to him, his thumb rubbing the small youkai's chest as his mind raced over what could be done.

With his hand still gripping his staff, Jaken pushed the convulsions that wracked him down and grabbed his lord's lapel. His eyes aglow, he captured his gaze and held it. "Sesshoumaru-sama, I want you to know that it's been my honor to serve you these many years."

"Jaken, don't—"

"I was a lord in my own right before I met you. A lord of a pond compared to the vastness that was your ocean. People have said that it's better to rule a pond than serve in an ocean, but they've never seen the ocean. And no matter how you may feel right now, you are a great lord to me. I have no regrets but one, and that's not being able to follow you and be a part of what heroic deeds await you."

Then the convulsions overwhelmed him and his lungs seized, stealing his words.

"Jaken, I'm sorry."

Like faceted glass, crystal shards radiated from the spider on his chest. An agonized gasp sputtered from him as they penetrated deep into his core, turning it a soft lavender hue. Across his body, the crystal creeped, transforming him as it went. And as it reached his head, he managed a smile before the light in his eyes dulled and what remained of him turned to stone.

With Jaken's crystallized hand still holding him by his lapel, Sesshoumaru gently tugged him free, afraid to break him. The staff that he bore in his other hand though would stay.

"Sesshoumaru," Inuyasha said softly.

"Yes?"

"Your eyes. They're glowing."