~*~We Survive What We Can't Change~*~

Rating: M, R or NC-17, or whatever you want to call it. It will definitely have relationships and sex scenes between characters (hp/lv, and other pairings) and it's obviously SLASH, don't like it, don't read it. This is a serious story, it has a plot, and all the sex scenes have a heavy emotional significance, it will be hard to avoid them, and although I will try to identify the parts with the sex scenes, I feel like the story will lose part of its emotional value if you simply skip those parts. That said, do as you wish, just don't come whining if you are against homosexuality or sex in general, I'm not your mother or your English teacher that failed to teach you how to read ('cause I warned you about it, in writing above) and frankly I don't care.

If you are actually an intelligent person and that little rant over there didn't discourage from reading this fic, then thank you. I'm your fan and I already adore you, although I will adore you even more if you review! Please, tell me what you think! Constructive criticism is my favorite bribe for updates! Also any ideas are totally welcome!

--Italics are for Parseltongue.

--negrito for what's written in the newspapers, engraved in doors, stuff like that, you will know.

The prologue is told from Harry's point of view, but the rest of the story won't be. Let's begin…

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Prologue

The first time I looked at the newspaper, it seemed to laugh at me…

From the shadows, in the middle of the cell, from where the flap in the door lies, they push some food through there once in a while. They don't want me to starve or anything, so I guess in the end, it's an improvement…

The second time I looked at it, it scared me,. I thought about what the man said when he threw it in, "…but you don't have to worry, you're never getting out of there!" and he laughed. His laughter is still rings in my ears days later. And I thought nothing else would scare me after the beating I got before being tossed in here.

But that is past, the pain is almost all gone by now, and I don't think they intended to do any permanent damage for some reason I can't think of. Besides, I got a lot of beatings throughout my life, it's not like there was something new and surprising about it. And this time, after I got captured, I was expecting it, another improvement I guess.

The third time I looked at the newspaper, just laying there in the ground, illuminated only by the single stream of light that passed through the tiny window in the wall, I felt nothing, nothing at all.

There isn't a lot of light in my cell, or space for that matter, but that doesn't bother me,. It reminds me of my cupboard. I remember that was my first thought when I was put in here.

I was placed here at about five to six months ago, I guess. The newspaper was dated three months after I was locked here, and I don't know how long ago that was. It essentially it took me sometime to actually read past the first line:

The war is over.

The war is over.

The Ministry foundations crumbled this morning; most of the building collapsed. And with it, the last members of the resistance that were under siege for the past month. The acclaimed and highly dubious secret society of rebels: The Order of the Phoenix and its last supporters were finally removed from the premises, apprehended and await trial in an undisclosed location for the crimes of rebellion and high treason to the supreme ruler, our Dark Lord.

The Light is no more. How did the Side of the Light lose the war? Why did they lose?

Why did we lose?

They say they were fighting for the right reasons.

What reasons? What reasons could we possibly have to make war? Self-defense? What the hell were we defending?

Didn't they have all the power they could possibly want at their disposal?

Did we? What power? The one we would never use because we thought we could fight a war without killing people, sacrifice no lives, innocent or otherwise, a war with no deaths? We who believed we could fight this war with nothing but hopes and dreams… "oh here come our enemies, and they curse to kill, let's perhaps throw some curses back at them, but no! We must not; I mean we could harm them! Bad us! Let's throw some flowers at them instead!" Yes because we might as well have been throwing flowers with the kind of spells we were allowed to use. The truth is that we needed more people who were willing to kill. I was.

Yes, I at least can believe we lost the war… that we were meant from the beginning to lose it. And honestly, it drives me crazy… Because I was there, I fought that war, maybe I was not on the front line, true, but I was used as a trophy, a bright, cheery flag to which all the light wizards gathered to. I know how bad it was,. I saw and heard and knew all of the results of that war. The people, it's always the people that suffer the more in a war, and in this like in any other, the people ended up injured, some for life, some died and killed, were forced to kill, and for what? For a government that not even they themselves believed in? It doesn't matter, really, there's no reason for war, for any war, there never was…

Why am I thinking about this now? I've spent years purposely avoiding thinking of this, sometimes thinking at all…

Didn't they have the support of most, if not all, of the Wizarding Society in the beginning of the war? They say they are making war against tyranny, oppression, cruelty.

Did we? What were we fighting for? Realistically, did we even have a plan? Some goal, some intention? Did we even think, before we jumped? Someone said, I remember reading it somewhere: "Leap, and the net will appear"… well, what if the net doesn't? Appear I mean,. What if there was no net, but we believed so much that there 'should be'one, that we started to see it there? Was that it? Were we 'seeing things'? Trying to defend, not the world we lived in, but the one we wanted, the one we wished we lived in, and for that belief we ignored the harsher realities of our world. All the wrongs, that were there, all the things that we knew happened in our world and were considered legal, ok, even acceptable, but that were wrong and we did nothing to try and stop it… all the things we should have changed, or at least tried to change. But we were so scared of that change, even the possibility of it happening, that we turned our backs on reality and closed our eyes to the wrongs of our world… and when people, just people, everyday people, tried to show us those wrongs, we refused to see, we refused to listen. They asked for our help to change the way things were, still are, and we gave them nothing but hate, lies and mistrust… we ostracized them, we denied them and their beliefs… We lied to ourselves, I did, out of fear, because we were confused, scared, tired, depressed or whatever, we have no excuse, I don't…

Tyranny, cruelty, oppression? We were the cruel ones. By closing our eyes to their suffering and trying to oppress them when they were only trying to defend themselves and protect others from suffering their fate… we, the 'society', closed our eyes, ears, and minds to the suffering of magical children in the Muggle world. Whether in bad houses, orphanages or anywhere else, the children we should have been protecting, our so called 'future', instead we clung to the past, to our old traditions and views, and failed to save them. And when somebody, the people, came and tried to show us that we needed to change those views, we denied them and forced them to hide in the shadows, to put on masks and dark cloaks, and to fight, even kill for their beliefs… we called them monsters! Monsters, what monsters? We created those monsters.

In the end, what tyranny were we fighting but our own? Like the old muggle saying goes, 'we made our bed, and now we must lie on it'… yes people wonder how did we failed, how we lost the war, but I see it clearly. Before it even began, we had already lost.

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A/N: I've a beta! Actually, I've two! How awesome is that?! For me? Totally awesome!

Do you think their combined efforts to make me a better writer and this a better story are working? I sure hope so! Press the button and tell me what you think!