Epilogue- Splitting a Pizza (and a Fluffy Lemon Meringue Pie)

After the funeral, my life quickly fell into somewhat of a routine. I was obviously going nowhere this year; I no longer wanted to attend Dartmouth, and it was too late for me to get in anywhere else for the fall semester. I rationalized that it was as favorable of an outcome as I could hope for- I was able to pick up some hours at Newton's. So I was working a lot, and since I was still living with Charlie, I was able to save some money. This was perfect, I justified, for not only figuring out which college I wanted to attend and what major I would choose, but also in scraping together some tuition fees and researching some feasible financial aid options.

As horrible as it was to experience the Cullens' leaving the first time around, thank God I had already been through it. I already knew what it was like to have Edward and his family gone. I was prepared for the loneliness I would face, for the emptiness I would feel, for the incompleteness of each day. I would never have survived otherwise- but I knew what to expect. And not only did I handle it better because I had gone through it before, but I no longer held in my heart any hope that things would be different. I didn't pray that Edward would come back. Though the image of Edward dead on the ground haunted my worst nightmares, simultaneously it managed to provide me with a tremendous sense of closure.

I was also incredibly grateful that I had Jacob as my friend, for now. When Edward had left me before, it took all too long for me to seek out that human connection- and inevitably by the time that I did, I had already internalized so much pain. With Jacob at my side every step of the way, I had an ear to listen to me when I needed to vent about the most random possible things. I had a (strong) shoulder to cry on, even if I was crying about Edward- Jacob understood.

He understood a lot of things. He understood why I was not immediately up for 'splitting a pizza' as he had affectionately termed it. We were back to our routine as well, a very similar one to when we first started hanging out. After work, I would drive to his place, where we would spend all evening in his garage while he worked on his projects, talking. I would usually make us dinner; sometimes at Billy's, sometimes at Charlie's, and we would subsequently chow down. But at the end of the night, there was always goodbye. Friends for now. All the sexual stuff had stalled; we were back to the occasional hug and hand-holding. But a couple of weeks after the funeral, on Charlie's porch after the start of one of our platonic goodbyes, Jacob clasped his strong hands on my shoulders, looking at me seriously.

"Honey, I want you to know something. I have a confession to make." He paused; I couldn't tell if it was unintentional or for effect. "I….um… can't wait to 'split a pizza' with you," he began, a little nervously. However, he quickly gained more confidence as he went along. "I just…..want you, all the time, so so bad, more than almost anything." He bit his lip as his dark eyes quickly but deliberately raked over my body. "I spend more time thinking about it than you would probably like- I think I might be failing English," he joked halfheartedly. But he was quickly serious again. "But this is the only time I'm going to say anything. I'm not going to pressure you. Because what I want more than anything is for you to be as excited about it as I am. I love you, and I want you to be happy. And to be comfortable. So I am content to wait until you want me as much as I want you- even if that's a long time. If that means we're friends for the next two years and nothing happens, than I guess I'm just going to have to learn to live on cold showers," he chuckled uncomfortably.

He rubbed his hands together as if he were a businessman hatching a grand scheme. "So here's what I think we should do. We don't have to discuss this ever again, have an awkward conversation about it. And since I don't want to pressure you, I'm not going to make a move. But if you get to the point where you feel like you're ready, and want to somehow let me know without ever bringing it up, than how about you just order a pizza that night for dinner? I'll get the message."

"Hmmm…." I mused thoughtfully. "I'm not so sure I like that deal. So that means I have to abstain from eating pizza for that long?" As soon as abstain was out of my mouth, I realized that I had picked a poor choice of words.

Jacob chuckled again. "Honey, that's nothing compared to what you're putting me through," he said in his sexy, husky voice. With that, he kissed my cheek and said a quick goodbye, after which he was running away.

It was several weeks later. The more time I spent with Jacob, the more I remembered what drew me towards him- his sunny demeanor, his sharp wit, his loyalty to me and our friendship. It didn't take me very long to reaffirm that I was still in love with him. And of course, my attraction to him was growing by the second- as if I didn't find him sort of beautiful already. At first, I felt stabs of guilt in even thinking about wanting him sexually- Edward's image would pop into my head, reminding me that I had been married to someone else just a few months earlier, and that that someone else had since died. But every time that happened, I always remembered what he and Alice told me: "Be happy." Surely they wanted me to live my life- that was the whole point, wasn't it? Their sacrifices were not going to be in vain. Eventually the guilty visions and voices diminished. And the memories of the steamy few sexual encounters that I had with Jacob only magnified.

One Tuesday evening, Charlie was working late at the station. I had decided that tonight I was going to give it a shot. I told Jacob to come over after he put in a few hours at the garage and that I would have dinner ready for him at 7. Though I had briefly entertained the idea of ordering a pizza from the local dive, I quickly dismissed it- hell, I was a cook; I could do it myself. I had already baked the crusts, and the pizza sauce was simmering on the stove. I had also prepared a decadent lemon meringue pie, which was currently cooling on an oven rack. Now all I had to do was finish spicing the sauce, assemble the pizzas with the plethora of toppings I had chopped and grated on the kitchen counter, and bake. Voila.

I was sprinkling some oregano and red pepper flakes to the bubbling pot when I heard a knock at the side of the door. I had left it open to get a breeze going. "Bella?" Jacob's husky voice called.

Shit! I quickly glanced at my watch. 6:34- Jake was almost a half an hour early. I had planned to go upstairs while the pizzas were baking and take a few minutes to spruce myself up- I definitely had something sexier picked out to wear besides jeans and an old T-shirt, and was hoping to brush my teeth to at least partially counteract the garlic from the pizza sauce that I had sampled several times. And the pizza wasn't even ready! I frantically responded, trying to keep him at bay, "Uh, yeah, hold on a sec!"

But I could already hear footsteps and the sound of Jacob's voice getting louder as he strode closer to the kitchen. "I thought I'd come early in case you needed help making dinner….it smells delic-" He stopped short when he reached the kitchen and saw me hard at work at the stove, stirring the pot. His jaw dropped slightly when he glanced around at the various items on the counter- crusts, grated mozzarella, pepperoni, chopped green peppers, sautéed mushrooms. There was absolutely no question what we were having for dinner tonight.

"Uh, I need a few more minutes to cook, I'll have it ready soon," I told him quickly without making eye contact, my cheeks crimson. I don't think the word embarrassed quite covered it. I had absolutely no time to mentally prepare for this. I turned back to the stove, hoping Jacob would take the hint and retreat to the living room so that I could psych myself out of my nervousness. I began stirring again.

I didn't hear Jacob approach, just felt both of his strong arms encircle my waist as he came up behind me, pulling my body flush against his. My lips weren't readily accessible so he focused immediately on the spot on my neck that drove me wild, sucking and kissing. I quite literally screamed. His hands were frenzied, gently squeezing my breasts outside of my bra, then moving them down my waist and grabbing my hips forcefully, grinding himself against me. Rinse and repeat. I groaned, dropping the wooden spoon in the simmering saucepan, twisting my head around to look up at him. The passion in his returning stare was enough to dispel any feeling of anxiety. I just wanted him. And right now I could very clearly see just how badly he wanted me.

Jacob kissed me on the lips, his hot breath immediately diverting attention from my own- I didn't even care if he could taste garlic anymore. His tongue explored my mouth intensely as his hands continued to run all over my body. Our necks were craned in an uncomfortable kissing position at the moment, so the kiss didn't last, but as soon as our lips parted, he squeezed me and whispered in my ear, "Bella, I love you. I want you. So. Fucking. Much."

Still positioned behind me, kissing my neck again, Jake's long arm had easy access to the inside of my jeans. He gently slipped his hand along the inside of my cotton underwear, and his pointer finger started very tenderly massaging my clit, causing me to moan out loud. His other arm was positioned across my chest, holding my body tightly to his, his fingers softly pinching one of my nipples. I immediately tensed at the overwhelming pleasure, and his hands adjusted in response. He kept it up, continuing to stimulate me with his finger, with his amazing hands, until I was sure that I was going to explode. Yet before I could, he would back off, slowing the pace, teasing me, before starting again. When I felt like I couldn't take it anymore, he stopped and turned me around until we were facing each other. "Oh, no, you're not done yet, Bella," he whispered in my ear.

Jacob kissed me so passionately on the lips that I couldn't even see straight. His hands enveloped me, taking me in, and he pulled me so close to his scorching body that I immediately started perspiring. Feeling the sweat accumulating on my neck, Jacob stripped me down to my underwear in a matter of seconds, pulling my jeans off with one solid yank, whipping my T-shirt over my head, and unclasping my bra in the back with one hand (how did he do that? I wondered. He didn't have that much experience. It was just those damn fine hands, I guess). Once I was down to my underwear, though, he took his sweet old time. He kissed me again, this time lifting me up and wrapping my legs around his hips. He gently carried me the few inches from the stove and set me down so that my butt was resting on the adjacent counter- on a pile of mushrooms, no less.

He gently laid me down on the counter. Though I was worried that I would hit my head, thankfully when I set it down it was cushioned by some fluffy grated mozzarella. In a much more compromising position now, Jake went to work with his sexy mouth, exploring my almost naked body with his searing tongue and lips. When he got to the string of my underwear and started pulling them off with his teeth, I gasped. But that was just the beginning. He went down on me for what felt like an eternity. It felt so good I thought I might pass out. But he held back, just a little- teasing me, making me want more. I almost giggled to myself, wondering for a second if he would stop and take a break, have a snack of some neighboring cheese or pepperoni that was in his immediate vicinity. But Jacob was focused- he didn't eat anything else.

When he finally stopped, I had never wanted anything so badly in my life than to have him inside of me. Sitting back up, I gazed at him; I'm sure with a lustful look in my eyes. Thankfully, he was already almost naked- a quick tug of his mesh shorts and he was standing nude in front of me. Despite my impatience, I had to take a few seconds to stare.

He wasn't sort of beautiful. How could I have ever even said that? He was gorgeous, stunningly beautiful. Six-foot-six inches of tanned muscle. Striking silky black hair. Beautiful deep-set brown-black eyes. Full pink lips and dazzling white teeth. And as I looked down, all I could say about his erection was that it was very….welcoming. I couldn't wait.

We had sex for hours. Sometimes it was crazy- him spanking my ass with the wooden sauce spoon comes to mind. Sometimes it was sweet- Jacob gently moving inside me, softly kissing my neck, whispering in my ear, telling me that he loved me. But it was always hot- us sweating together, our bodies as close as they could get. By the time it had ended, and Jacob had satisfied me several times over, we were both pretty exhausted.

An hour later, we still lay naked, spooning on the kitchen floor, too content to move. Jacob had a stack of pepperoni in his hands and was feeding us both individual slices. "You know what, honey?" he asked. "I think that pizza has to be my new favorite thing ever. Let's split one every week." He kissed my neck, and then looked me up and down. As his eyes traveled downward, a puzzled look appeared on his face, and after a second he flicked his finger across my butt- and a sautéed mushroom went flying. "Only next time, let's actually eat it," he grinned. So did I. And then he kissed me again.

We never got around to the pie, either.

A/N: This chapter is about as lemony as it will ever get for me (hence the title)- I would much rather imagine sex than see it explicitly written down, so I tend to write that way, too. But I figured I ought to lob those of you a lemon (or as close as I could get to one) who stuck with the M rating throughout the whole thing, anticipating it. Hope it was worth it...