A/N: Tag: Endgame

Why was it; he wondered to himself with anger and bitterness mixing themselves intricately with the acute pain he felt so sharply it was becoming hard to breathe; that when bad things like this happened to him; either phyiscally painful; or emotionally painful; devastating even; nobody on this team seemed to give a damn? Why the hell didn't he matter to them?

When Ziva had been in trouble; they'd been there for her. Gibbs had even come out of retirement to help her. She'd been facing some pretty serious charges; a set up; but enough to put her on the FBI's most wanted list real quick. The entire team had put themselves out there; willing to sacrifice their career for her. After all; they were a team; they were family. When Ziva had been damn near killed by that maniacle serial killer she had gone undercover to catch; daringly dating him to draw him out; the team had watched over her like a clan of eagles guarding their young; until she had regained her sense of balance within herself. It had been a hard fight; but they'd relentlessly watched over her, despite her protestations and complaints to the contrary.

Anytime Abby was in trouble, the team was there for her; in full force. With Gibbs firmly standing watch over them; while they watched over her; Abby was never left to deal with any problems or it's aftermath, alone; unless she'd chosen not to let them in to begin with. Even then, when the details came to light; the team always fell into step behind her; surrounding her; the pack protecting its' young.

Tony had; with his longer tenure on the team; endured his share of bad experiences. Every near miss; close call; and painful experience he'd been through; as with Abby and Ziva; was met with the dogged determined team as a whole; there to back him up; watch over him and see him through until he was once again back on his feet. When they'd thought he'd been blown up in his car; Tim, alone; would not believe the burned body was Tony's. He, by himself; rallied the team to the idea that it wasn't Tony and that they shouldn't yet grieve. When Tony was so buried with pain and regret that he couldn't even hide it; after losing Jeanne. Tim had done his best not to belittle him or give him a hard time. Sure, he'd said one or two not nice things; but it hadn't been to Tony and it hadn't been with malice. The Senior Field Agent's pain had been too real; no matter what a pain in the ass he could be. The team rallied around him. even Gibbs provided some clear examples of tough love.

Somehow; when it came down to Tim; however; the team suddenly became distant; quiet; uncaring; obtuse; whatever you wanted to call it. The simple, painful fact of the matter was; the only person who seemed to really give a damn when it counted most; was Ducky. If it wasn't for Ducky, the young man wouldn't have felt a bit of concern from the people he was supposed to be able to rely on; trust; depend on; to get him through; to watch his back in the field.

Granted; this situation had not been the team's doing. Well, for the most part, anyway. Tony had stuck his nose in where it didn't belong; had allowed Amanda to be sent up to the squad room without checking with Tim first. But, other than that; he knew he had no one to blame but himself. But, the fact that he'd almost been killed today; wasn't even affecting his team mates. It was as if he'd told them he'd gotten caught in a rain shower; instead of a shoot-out.

The pain in his heart was eating him alive; much more quickly this time; than ever before. Not even Abby breaking up with him; had hurt like this. Every time he attempted to date; and granted those times were few and far between; he wound up with a psycho on his hands. This was different. This was worse. This was the last straw; the ultimate sign; handing him the last piece to the puzzle he'd been trying to solve for so long. Finally, he'd realized the painful answer. Tim McGee was unloveable. There was something wrong with him. He could learn to live with that, he supposed. Maybe.

But, the unanswered question that remained; added so much hurt and humilation and pain to the puzzle solution he'd figured out; that it wasn't something he could live with. It wasn't something he wanted to live with. Who could?

As he looked around the squad room; every one of his team mates and even his boss; hard at work wrapping up the case; lost in their work. Tim realized; he was right in his conclusions. Keeping his face straight; he got back to work; wrapping up his own case report. What needed to be done could wait. Hopefully, they'd be able to get outta here soon tonight.

Tim McGee had things he needed to do.