Turned Tables

Chapter 1

-o-

Like Two Peas in a Pod

Master Hand usually avoided any kind of interaction with the Smashers. The reason was not that he was a big floating hand, which perhaps could be a tad intimidating, but simply because he never felt like it. Having to do with them in person was about as nice as finding half a caterpillar in your apple after the first bite but they were quite amusing to watch from a safe distance.

This particularly beautiful spring morning, however, Master Hand was bored out of his mind. He had got used to the commotion in the big mansion he had forced the participants in the Super Smash Brothers Tournament to live in. It was just not funny anymore to see Fox crawl across the floor in hope of confiscating any dropped coins, nor was it any interesting to find out what Bowser had, intentionally or unintentionally, broken today. He did not care about Captain Falcon boasting about his many poker victories, which always resulted in a fight with his fellow poker players, or enjoy the children competing in who could make Samus's patience run out first.

Maybe Master Hand could put up with that the Smashers were always getting into the most ridiculous fights on a daily basis and never resolving them enough to avoid repeating the same scenario the following week. What most of all annoyed the founder of the Super Smash Brothers Tournament at the moment were the lovebirds of the house. Like always they were occupying the couch and ignoring the world around them. The snuggling, the cuddling and the cute nicknaming, that had to be the most drab thing in the whole mansion.

"Mario, Peach, Link, Zelda!" Master Hand barked and up from the couch flew the two couples and lined up in front of him. Mario, the famous mustached plumber who was rather short and his attention span shorter still, was absentmindedly eyeing the ceiling; his sweetheart, Princess Peach, was recovering from the shock of being interrupted by fixing her golden locks of hair; Link, the handsome Hylian hero with pointy ears, blew some unruly bangs out of the way, just to have them fall right back; Princess Zelda, also Hylian, coldly scrutinized the hand with evident suspicion in her eyes.

"What can we do for you, Master Hand?" Peach said pleasantly once her hair was in perfect order. She bobbed her head to the side and the round earrings she wore trembled slightly. They had the exact azure color as her big round eyes that always made Master Hand think of her as a big four-eyed monster despite her being the cutest fighter in the house.

"Master Hand," Zelda said and the hand flinched. "What do you want?"

Well, there was hardly any point in beating around the bush, especially if Zelda was involved.

"I am sick of your snuggling, cuddling and cute nicknaming. It is always the same. That is why I have decided that you are to switch partners for… No, until I say that you are to switch back."

Mario looked like he had been hit by a brick (which was kind of ironic seeing as he bumped his head into blocks on his spare time), Peach's already huge eyes grew ten sizes, Link tripped to the floor and Zelda disapprovingly crossed her arms. The Hylian princess's tiny mouth nearly disappeared when she pursed her lips and the hand could sense that there was at least one person who would not let him get away with this easily. He was at least twice her size and his powers were not to be taken lightly, but neither was an angry Zelda.

"B-but Mario and I were planning to catch a movie and maybe eat some cake," Peach objected meekly. The hand's orders were absolute but this was unthinkable. Love was not something one could even wish to control and yet here was Master Hand, planning to rearrange their fates. The Mushroom Kingdom princess tried fervently to come up with some kind of solution and looked at Zelda for assistance.

"When did you come up with this?" Zelda asked casually, unfolding her arms and putting on a smile. Master Hand would not be fooled and was far from tempted to admit that he had just thought of it, but what could he otherwise say?

"That is not important," Master Hand huffed.

"What is the point of this?" Zelda pressed mercilessly while beaming at the hand that subconsciously began to float away from her.

"J-just hook up with Mario for a few days while Peach is together with Link and do what couples do. Trust me you'll be sorry if you refuse, and that's all. I can't stand here and explain things to you dimwits all day."

"Especially since you don't have any legs to actually stand on," Link helpfully pointed out.

Master Hand muttered something unintelligible and floated elsewhere; a place from where he could spy on them without being noticed, like a fly on the wall. Things were certain to get spicier now when he had managed to escape Zelda's badgering. The one obstacle in the way of his brilliant plan. It had its advantages to be the boss of the place.

"What should we do?" Peach asked with her hands pressed to her cheeks. "I don't want to be away from Mario no matter what Master Hand says."

In her desperate need the princess flew at her beloved plumber to seek comfort in his embrace but Zelda extended an arm in her way.

"Zelda, this is not a time to hold back emotions!"

"I do not like this any more than you do, but perhaps we should play along?" Zelda said, gazing at where Master Hand had just disappeared.

"I-a guess," Mario agreed somewhat unwillingly.

At the sound of the familiar voice with its distinguishing Italian accent, Peach attempted to throw herself at Mario again but was yet another time prevented by Zelda.

Mario was just as obedient as everybody else whenever the hand came with his ludicrous orders – Master Hand was like a child and the harder one fought him the more stubborn he became – but it was near to impossible to imagine himself with anybody other than Peach by his side, even for the shortest of moments. How could they pull that off? The plumber watched how Link stepped up to Peach and put a consoling hand on her shoulder.

The weight of another man's hand was too much for Peach, who was struck hard by the fact that there really was no way out of it. She flung her arms around the Hylian's neck and tried to muffle her sobs against his green tunic. Mario swallowed, not quite sure he was fine with it, but he knew that Peach had always been a bit emotional so maybe he could excuse it.

Link was standing with his arms raised, cringing awkwardly and staring down at the sobbing woman. Zelda raised her chin and did not look more pleased about the situation than Mario. Her hero smiled sheepishly at her, and in response she turned on her heel and marched away.

"You suggested it," Link called out while patting Peach on the back. The Hylian princess whirled back around and returned with a smile as lovely as the prettiest of roses. With thorns.

Mario and Link simultaneously took a step back. Peach pulled away from Link and rubbed her eyes. It had made her feel a little bit better that he had lent her his shoulder to cry on and she still felt his hand comfortingly placed on the small of her back. Having Mario next to her was like having a vortex pulling her in and she needed a lifeline to cling to. She had settled for Link, finding him much kinder than she had ever noticed him to be. Maybe this situation would result in them making friends?

Zelda brushed by Peach and stopped in front of Link, so close that they could feel the body heat radiate from one another.

"Master Hand suggested it," Zelda corrected him. "Although I guess, since I do not mind, that you are free to enjoy yourselves as much as you like. Do whatever you please and I promise that I won't get in your way. After all, it is Master Hand's order and who am I to oppose?"

Mario noticed the color rising on Link's neck and he had to say that he was quite baffled himself. He would never expect Link to make a move on Peach – he would have a hard time watching football with him on Saturdays if that was the case – but that Zelda would suggest that Link would happily cheat on her, and at the same time insinuate that she could not care less if he did, was even harder to imagine. Was that not pushing it too far?

Link pulled Peach closer, something which unnerved Mario more than Zelda's gibes. He shot Link a dark look but could not bring himself to interrupt the argument that was threatening to erupt. He could end up making things worse and then no one would know when Peach would be handed back to him and that was his top priority. Still, could he at least not be allowed to drop a hint by stepping on Link's foot or something?

"Good that you don't care," Link said with a tremble sneaking into his voice. "It would be a real bother to explain it to you in case you had."

Peach had somehow managed to remain unaware of the change of mood and took the two Hylians' words literally.

"Well, I do mind a little," she cut in shyly, throwing a glance at Mario and transferring every bit of love in her heart into that one gaze. She grabbed the sleeve of Link's tunic to avoid walking over to her plumber and inhaled to go on. "But seeing you all being this mature about it really helps me realize that we have to do as Master Hand says. That is the fastest way to end it, right?" She fell silent and then clasped her hand over her mouth when it hit her that minding could be an insult to Link so she quickly added: "Of course any girl would dream of having Link for a boyfriend so that is not why we should hurry."

Link smirked at Zelda who smiled back like nothing in the world would make her happier than having another woman pouncing on her man. Meanwhile Mario was getting fed up with staying silent. He wished that Link would keep Peach out of the argument, or at least refrain from touching her.

"Then, should I make you a cake, Link?" Peach said and Mario who had just been about to take action against the Hylian felt his mouth fall open. His shoulders drooped and he put down the foot that had been the beginning of his first step of action. It felt like there was a hole where his heart should be when he saw Peach grab Link's hand and pull him towards the kitchen.

"Cake," the plumber mumbled plaintively when he watched the pair of them disappear. Cake with sweet berries, whipped cream and mushy crumbs that got stuck in the mustache. Cake baked with love.

While Peach struggled to tie a neat ribbon behind her back, putting on a frilly apron, she tried her best to make any kind of sense out of this madness. Maybe she could pretend and go along with it but it would be so much easier if she felt that she had a better grasp of the situation.

"Let me help you with that," Link offered and took the ends from her hands.

"Thank you," Peach said and used her now free hand to tap her chin while she frowned at the ceiling.

One: She was now, technically, in a relationship with Link. Two: The logical conclusion would then be that she was in love with him. Three: He was acting very chivalrous, helping her with the apron and all, as if to confirm point one and two.

It really was not that hard when you thought about it. Then how come she could not get Mario out of her head? She smiled at Link over her shoulder, her full lips displaying a shimmer of lipstick, and then felt the ribbon he had tied before she walked over to the refrigerator to get a couple of eggs. Unless she could convince herself that this was a play, a drama, where her three points were reality she would not be able to go through with this. She threw a second quick glance at Link before she knelt and hid behind the cupboard from which she took a bowl.

Maybe it could be fun? When she was little she had always dreamt that a knight in shining armor would come, just like in the fairy tales, valiantly rushing to the fair princess's rescue. In a sense, it had come true because she had been saved by a brave plumber who proved just how far he was willing to go for her sake. Although, it could not be denied that Mario did not look exactly like the princes did in her books. Not that she minded.

Peach would never complain about Mario. He was shorter than she was but he could still reach around her to give her a warm hug. That roundness of his made him very cuddly. The big nose was so very nice to place a big kiss upon. He was also a partner to be proud of on the dance floor when it came to up-tempo dances and she sure liked to shake her leg. But. It was horrible but there was a 'but'. How nice it would be to rest her head against a man's chest and feel a chin rest on top of her head. The allure of slowly running her hands down a muscular torso. Being able to, with the smallest tilt of her head, feel lips on lips. Oh, just imagining the closeness of slow dancing.

Peach took another peek at Link when she began to throw the many ingredients together. She could have gone a bit too far with her fantasies and it made her cheeks flush when she looked at him. One would have to be blind not to see that Link had the looks of a fairy tale hero. Blond hair and built like a Norse god.

"So, what are your interests?" Peach said and giggled. She did not enjoy what the silence was doing to her. Thankfully, and unlike Mario who was often staring at the ceiling and giving her a baffled expression whenever she broke the silence, Link returned her smile.

"Well, I like animals, fishing and just walking around, taking in nature, I guess," Link said. He had been observing how she mixed the eggs and sugar with deep concentration and it caught her off guard when he directed his blue eyes at her when he replied.

"Oh," she said, choosing to stare at the flour she was scooping up, yet she still felt his unwavering gaze on her. "I like taking strolls too. We have so much in common."

"We do."

"They're both idiots," Master Hand mumbled from where he was hiding behind a huge weeping fig in the corner. "But they're pretty good at this."

For the following half hour Link was interrogated by Peach. While she made her infamous "Special Strawberry Cake" she found out everything from his favorite color to his fondest childhood memory.

"Done," the princess declared when she put down an enormous cake that looked like it belonged at a triple wedding in front of the Hylian. No human in their right mind would attempt to eat it on its own. Link even had a hard time imagining that Kirby – the pink puffball that barely reached up to Link's knees but despite his size was renowned for effortlessly consuming any opponent in a fight – could stomach this pink monster of a cake.

What had to be admitted was that the taste was heavenly. The cream was of a perfect consistency, not dominantly thick but not distractingly thin either. The strawberries were sweet but not enough to ruin the sweetness of the batter. It was the kind of delicious dessert that made you eat a lot more than you should.

Set on not disappointing the woman he was supposed to be in love with Link dug in with great enthusiasm. Peach remained at his side, not eating anything herself but smiling warmly at every bite he took. This helped motivate the hero who was the kind who detested being unable to help, but it was not necessarily a good thing to be motivated into eating too much. He was far from halfway through when his stomach began to protest but he forced himself to eat more. The sad thing was that not even his strong will could make the impossible possible. The cake was simply too big.

"Do you like it?" Peach asked.

"Delishioush," Link replied with his mouth full, no longer feeling the taste.

The Hylian wiped his mouth with the side of his left leather gauntlet. He would have to face that he could not eat a single crumb more. Swallowing some saliva, hoping to be rid of the stomachache, he put aside the tiny fork and faced Peach.

"How about I repay you?"

Peach blinked twice, her long eyelashes fluttering. This was quite unexpected. Usually she was the one doing the repaying and she enjoyed giving. It was a sign of gratitude and it felt very, very odd to her that she would receive something in return for something that was meant to show her own appreciation.

"We could go on a date or something," Link suggested.

"What a marvelous idea!" Peach exclaimed. Excitement spread like ants from the tips of her toes to the top of her head at this idea. She was convinced. She could already imagine it, like something out of a romantic movie. There would be champagne, a toast to her eyes and a dazzling smile in her direction. Ah, it was as if Link was created for such smiles.

"And I thought that maybe you could choose–"

"You'll really let me choose where we'll go? Anywhere?" Peach cut off Link and jumped forwards so that she nearly head-butted him. "Oh, I've always wanted to go to The Triumph Fork."

Link was about to tell her that perhaps that was not exactly what he had meant. He had been about to say that she could choose if she wanted to go horseback riding through the woods or take a coffee and tart at a café, which would have agreed better with his wallet, but her eager eyes and her high voice practically singing out her pleasure made the words dissolve before his lips could form them.

"Of course I'll take you to The Triumph Fork," Link said, putting on a grin but his eyes straying from the princess.

The Triumph Fork was not the most exclusive restaurant of some small rural village. The Super Smash Brothers Tournament was a huge event taking place in the capital city of one of the most prosperous countries in the world and the restaurant was located in said capital. There was not a single living being, or living dead for the matter, who did not know of the restaurant, but people were also aware that it was only a place for Gladstone Ganders and Scrooge McDucks.

Huge golden letters hung above the extravagant entrance along with five ridiculously big stars, as if there could ever be a lack of faith in the reputation of the place. First-class restaurant or not, it was probably just golden color painted on aluminum. With a maximum width of about 3,6 meters and height of 2,6 meters per character, one letter would approximately weigh 25-30 kilos Link calculated when they stood before the massive building. If a letter fell down it would be an instant kill. Pray one would.

"Link, how long are we going to stand here?" Peach said.

The princess subtly tried to hint at her own impatience by tugging at Link's arm. She saw no point in standing just outside a door, staring up the side of a building. Even if there was such a thing as a person that did not find it boring beyond understanding, or at least remotely weird, it was incomprehensible that somebody could willingly block the entrance for other people.

"I just thought that perhaps you changed you mind," Link said.

"Now, why would I do that?" Peach giggled and hugged his arm to avoid bursting into fits of laughter. Link sure was a funny fellow. She could not see at all how Zelda could be so stiff with someone like him constantly around.

"There's this new place called Cooking Mama. Would you like to check it out?" Link said, trying to keep a flicker of hope alive.

"I heard that they let anyone into their kitchen. I don't mean to be rude, because I think it is a lovely idea to give people a chance to learn, but I think that we should give that place some time before going there."

"McBallyhoo's?" Link tried desperately.

Peach laughed, a sound like jingling bells. "Junk food? It's perhaps not the most romantic atmosphere. I know that fast food can be good if you're in a hurry but that is hardly a place to go to on your first important date, is it?"

Peach wondered if she had said something wrong when Link suddenly cleared his throat and looked away. Maybe he really liked fast food?

"I did not mean to say that the food is bad. I quite enjoy a hamburger every now and then," Peach added. She could not know that Link had been reminded of the last time he took Zelda out. To McBallyhoo's.

He always took her there, insisting she should be treated every once in a while. Zelda as good as always brought up that she should be the one to pay, at least for herself, or that they did not need to go out that often but truth to be told either option would hurt his pride. She always gave in and he had taken it as a sign that she was fine with it, maybe even happy beneath the surface. Now when he thought back on it she had looked a bit out of mood last time they went out, coldly staring at the little flag that came with her Jolly Meal.

"Isn't quantity better than quality?" Link asked Peach.

"Oh, quantity is definitely better," Peach said. "I would much rather go out often than wait for the money to pile up. Isn't it more important that you get to spend time together?"

"I couldn't agree more," Link said. Zelda had never understood that, no matter how hard he had tried to explain it. At times he doubted that she even wanted to go out with him and here was Peach, getting it without the smallest explanation. "So, how about McBallyhoo's?"

"No, no, no, please, I am perfectly satisfied with The Triumph Fork."

(A/N)

Today I felt that I just had to finish something to post. It was a while ago that I last found the time to write, and I missed writing when I got the chance to come with a few suggestions to Cimar of Turalis's Darkest Before the Dawn. Good writing is inspiring, isn't it? Then I found this old thing lying around on my hard-drive. As I had planned this story to be only about three chapters long I was going to finish the whole thing before I posted it, but that did not really work out. I worked a bit on what I had and decided to post it.

This story might not seem like a MarioPeach or Zelink one at this point but I am not intending to throw in any surprises where the pairings are concerned. This is not supposed to be that kind of story.

Thank you for reading. I hope that you enjoyed the first chapter.