I've never actually seen the show "How I Met Your Mother" but that's what this title is based off of. So while watching an episode of "Friends" I came up with this story. It really has nothing to do with the episode at all, so I'm not sure how it inspired me...

How I Got My Shiner

Theodore winced and flinched in pain as Eleanor lightly placed a bag of frozen vegetables on the darkened part of his eye. Eleanor jumped and pulled it back. "Sorry," she apologized.

She tried again to place it gently. "Ow," Theodore hissed jerking his head back.

Eleanor smacked her lips in irritation and placed her hands on her hips. "I barely touched you." She said pointedly.

"Well, it's sensitive." Theodore grimaced.

"…Yeah… to not touch..." Theodore glared at her. "Now hold still."

Eleanor tried once again to place the bag. "OW!"

"Don't be such a baby, Teddy." Eleanor laughed and grabbed his chin to keep his head still. She leaned in close to Theodore's face to make sure she put the bag in an appropriate area. "Now," Eleanor started when Theodore finally let her put the vegetables on his swelling and blackening eye. "How does that feel?" She asked locking eyes with him.

Theodore gulped and blushed. "Better," He answered.

Eleanor giggled and grabbed his hand. "Good," She lifted his hand in place of hers."Hold that on your eye so the swelling will go down."

Theodore chuckled. "Thank you, nurse." He said playfully.

Eleanor giggled as she pulled a chair up beside Theodore. "So, how did this happen?" She asked, referring to his eye.

"Oh, um…" Theodore looked down and blushed. "I did it while tying my shoe this afternoon."

Eleanor's stare of shock was soon replaced with disbelief and amusement. "…Tying your shoe?" She repeated, questionably.

Theodore nodded and Eleanor let out an involuntary laugh. "Don't laugh!" Theodore couldn't help but laugh too.

Eleanor covered her mouth in hopes to muffle her laughter. "I'm sorry. I just don't understand how you give yourself a black eye while tying your shoe." She chuckled.

"Well, you get distracted, pull the string too hard, and then…" Theodore removed the bag to show her the result of the incident.

Eleanor let out a snort as her laughs continued. Theodore frowned in fake hurt. "Theo, you're so silly." She said as her laughter finally died down.

Theodore twisted his face. "Thanks," He laughed.

They both sat in a slightly awkward silence. "Ahem," Alvin broke the silence by walking into the room.

"Hi, Alvin," Eleanor greeted with a smile.

"What's up, El?" Alvin responded nonchalantly giving Eleanor the "sup" nod.

Eleanor giggled. "Theodore has a black eye." She said, laughing at the thought of it.

Alvin chuckled in disbelief. "What? …No way?" He walked over and moved the vegetable bag. "Whoa,"

"…See?" Eleanor smiled.

"…Do you mind?" Theodore asked with a glare.

Alvin let go of Theodore's wrist and Theodore placed the bag back onto his eye. "How'd you get it? It's not like you to fight anybody." Alvin commented.

"He gave it to himself," Eleanor intervened. "…While tying his shoe." She finally laughed.

"Yep, that sounds like Theodore." Alvin chuckled, walking out the door.

"Tee hee," Theodore laughed dryly. "I'm glad everyone is getting a chuckle out of this." He said shifting in his seat. In doing this he noticed Eleanor was no longer listening, but watching his eldest brother play basketball. "Ellie," He called.

Eleanor's head snapped back towards her green clad best friend. "I'm sorry, what?" She asked politely smiling at him.

Theodore sighed and rolled his eyes. "Just go," He insisted.

Eleanor smiled in thanks and stood to leave. "Remember to keep something cold on your eye to keep the swelling down." Eleanor reminded him as she headed out the door to join Alvin in a game of one on one.

Theodore sighed as she stood and slowly made his way to the living room. He grabbed the remote, plopped onto the couch, and began channel surfing.

***

Theodore jerked awake at the sound of the front door slamming shut. He stretched and rubbed his eyes (you know, the regular wake up routine). "Did Eleanor go home?" He asking noticing it was Alvin at the door.

"Yep," Alvin responded spinning his basketball on his index finger. "How's your eye?" He asked, his eyes still fixated on his activity.

"Better," Theodore answered casually, going about his TV watching.

Alvin plopped down beside him with a sigh."Do you want to tell me how you really got it?" He asked, staring at his brother.

"What are you talking about?"

Alvin rolled his eyes. "Come on, Theodore. You make careless mistakes, but not even you could smack yourself in the face while tying your shoe." He laughed. "So, tell me." Alvin nudged him with curious eyes.

Theodore sighed. "During gym, there were these guys who were watching Eleanor do her stretches, and they were saying things." He began vaguely.

"What kind of things?"

"NC-17 rated things." Theodore responded. Alvin nodded understandingly. "So, when we got into the locker room, I called them out on it. One thing led to another, and the next thing I know..." Theodore pointed at his eye.

Alvin chuckled. "Theodore, that was a great thing you did for Ellie, but you shouldn't pick fights. Next time it won't just be your eye." He warned.

"I know," Theodore sighed. "But I'm so sick of guys like that... guys like you!"

Alvin's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "...Me? What did I do?"

"You and those other guys only like girls for their looks." Theodore pointed out with a glare. "No one noticed Eleanor until she lost the weight; and now that she has..." Theodore trailed off.

Alvin waited patiently for him to continue.

"I hate you." Theodore blurted suddenly.

"Where are these feelings coming from?" Alvin asked, now confused as to why his brother hated him.

"I hate you, because every time I see her, every time I think about her, every time I dream about her, all that I can think about is how much it sucks that she loves you." Theodore explained.

Alvin chuckled. "Okay, now I get it." He said with a nod. "That all may be true, but have you ever thought that if you told Eleanor how you felt and how you stood up for her, that, maybe, she'd realize that she doesn't like me the way she thought she did."

Theodore mulled this over.

***

"...And that's how I really got the black eye." Theodore finished retelling the story to Eleanor that next day before school.

Eleanor sat in silence as she let it all sink in. "You told Alvin I liked him?" She asked pushing Theodore in a best friend-y way.

Theodore chuckled. "When a sentence doesn't include Alvin all you hear is: wha, wha, wha, wha, wha... isn't it?" He asked imitating the teachers from Charlie Brown.

Eleanor rolled her eyes. "That's not all I heard." She said. "I also heard I have the bestest best friend in the whole world." Theodore nodded, proudly sporting his shiner. Eleanor giggled and cupped her hands around his face, pulling it closer to hers. Theodore's smile grew as she gently kissed the blackened portion of his eye. "Are you sure you can protect that title and be my boyfriend?" Eleanor asked smiling.

"I hope so. I'm running out of eyes."

Writing off the top my head will sometimes bring good stories and other times... not so good ones. Which was this one?

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