Haha... don't kill me, please... So... yea, this was what I spent my Sunday morning doing... Enjoy? =D

"Monsieur Engineer! Set up a range for ze Sniper and myself!" Spy demanded as he stormed into the community room of the base. Sniper was quick to follow with a sour look on his face.

"Lover's quarrel?" Medic asked from his place at the chess board with Heavy. This elicited a derisive snort from Sniper.

"There's no lovin' a Spy, mate. He wouldn't be able to figure out his place in the relationship..." he gave Spy a sidelong look before continuing, "the woman's place. He'd be out taking down targets instead of getting me dinner ready for when I get back from 'work'." Sniper pointed out, crossing his arms.

"Oui, and you would be missing yours." Spy stated, eyes flashing dangerously as he stepped up closer as if to confront the slightly taller man.

"Ah... this is no way to start workin' together, y'children." Engineer stated, taking a sip of his beer pointedly.

"We ain't gonna be workin' t'gether!" Sniper exclaimed, his voice ringing a bit more harshly than the situation warranted.

"You guys are still on the same team, fags," Scout said, frowning at them in annoyance from his place lounging across the couch.

"That does not mean that we will be working together... ever," Spy growled adamantly, shooting the Bostonian a subtle glare that made him go back to his television watching with little more than another 'fag' comment.

Spy saw that Engineer wasn't going to comply with his request and turned to brush past Sniper with a firm frown. "Zat does not mean zat you win merely from your job title." Spy stated when he saw Sniper's winning smirk as he passed the man.

"Oh? That suit sure had me fooled, I thought I was dealing with a gentleman." Sniper shot after the Frenchman. Spy stopped and they were suddenly chest to chest again, neither backing down from their testosterone-filled anger match. "It's gonna be a pleasure giving you a lesson in marksmanship once I convince Truckie to do it." After all, they needed Engineer's precious metal to set up targets.

"Bah! My dear Sniper, you could not even give me a lesson in long-distance spitting!" Spy sneered, back ramrod-straight and chest puffed out in an effort to seem more formidable than the other man. "Anyzing you can do, I can do better! I can do anyzing better zan you!" Spy scoffed in his face, giving him a light shove with his chest before turning on his heel and walking to lean against the couch.

"No you can't." Sniper shot back, following him with his long strides and placing his hands on the back of the couch, trapping Spy within the confines as he leant against the sofa with about a foot or more of space between their bodies.

Spy smirked. "Yes I can."

"No you can't."

"Yes I can." The lord-of-espionage's voice was almost sing-song, so very satisfied that he was annoying his co-worker.

"No you can't!" Sniper's eyes narrowed in a glare behind his shades.

"Yes I can, yes I can!" Spy came chest to chest with the man again and smirked up at him triumphantly.

"Anything you can be, I can be greater." Sniper sneered, eyes dangerous behind his glasses as the masked man before him looked affronted at their closeness and turned away to cross his arms, side facing Sniper. Neither were aware that the whole team was watching them. "Sooner or later... I'm greater than you!" He boasted lowly into Spy's ear with a short laugh.

"No you are not." Spy sneered, rolling his eyes at the supposedly ludicrous statement.

"Yes I am." Sniper countered with a smirk, seeing Spy's nerves tense

"You are not," Spy said a bit more firmly, eyes narrowing dangerously. He was offended that the Sniper might ever think himself superior to the masked man.

"Oh, yes I am." They were chest to chest again, noses scant centimeters from each other. "Yes I am, mate," he repeated with a snarky grin. "I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge!" He bragged as he strolled away from the tense man with his hands casually in his pockets.

"Oh? Well, I can shoot a sparrow with a bow and arrow." Spy smirked, playing on the fact that Sniper was very poor at using his Huntsman. Sniper's ears turned red and Spy thought he had won their little spat until Sniper's expression became a bit more determined and he burst out with a desperate:

"I can live on bread and cheese!"

"And only on that?" Spy questioned, knowing the man's great love for Kangaroo jerky.

"Yes!" Sniper answered confidently, his broad chest puffing out proudly.

"So can a rat." Spy scoffed, his witticism taking the man by surprise as he strode to the man's other side as if he were walking away from the fight. Sniper's hand caught Spy's shoulder and whirled him around with yet another glare as Spy's hand raised with his knife flicked out and glinting.

Sniper paid the weapon no heed and merely boasted: "Any note you can reach, I can go higher," with a smirk ghosting his lips.

Spy paused for a second, blank faced before realizing what he was talking about. "You mean singing?" he raised a curious brow as he looked over the man. Sniper suddenly felt less confident and nodded a bit. "You really are a 'fag,' zen." Spy laughed derisively before flicking his knife back into his pocket and heading back toward the door that they came in. He paused at the door and looked back at the blushing Australian with a small smirk. " 'Anyzing you can be, I can be better.' " He reminded Sniper with a wink before walking out.

Sniper felt his blush grow a bit before yelling after the man. "I'll always be better than you!" He stormed out of the room, boots echoing down the hall long after they had moved away from the room.

"So... they're going to see who can be gayer?" Scout asked, confused. "How's that go?"

"Well, lad... first one gets on-" Demo's explanation was cut off by Engineer tapping him on the head with his wrench warningly.

"They're going to see who can yell louder..." Engineer explained simply, going back to whatever he was working on. Sometimes it was more soothing to work in a room of people rather than his shop. "Don't go botherin' 'em." He warned, glancing up at the innocent boy as he stood.

"Aw... but I wanna see who wins." Scout pouted, sinking back to the couch and turning the volume up on Annie Get Your Gun.

"You vill know by who is more... content... at dinner." Medic assured him as he watched Heavy capture his pawn and took the man's knight before his queen was soon lost. "Sheisse..." he murmured, scratching the back of his head with a small frown. "You are getting better, Heavy."

"Thank you, doktor." Heavy grinned, practically wiggling at his praise.

"Fags..." Scout mumbled, trying to block the two out as he watched Betty Hutton and Howard Keel start singing. "Wait a sec..."

Might be doing the rest of the song as pillow-talk, let me know if I should or not?