Bonus Chapter- Ho, Ho, Ho, Its Christmas in Roanapur.

A/N: Been wanting to do this bonus chapter for ages. Anyway glad to see the, surprising number of emails ever since I posted me final showdown chapter. Allow me to first offer some insight yes the A-team Is where I got the idea for the whole tank thing plus I thought would be funny as hell. As to the bullet in the IPod please give a round of applause to my partner in crime Jim1681 whom one told me of an episode of myth busters in which they proved that those thick earlier generation IPod's could stop a bullet. With this Bonus Chapter I officially end a Pirates Life for Me but the story series is far from over Soon enough I plan to start Part 2 of the story and who knows certain things people wanted to see in Part 1 might be dealt with.

Now then enjoy my purely humour filled chapter. Enjoy

Revy was staring with a strangely fierce intensity at the corner of hers and Rock's apartment. There was a slight twitch in her eye. Her arms were folded and her head titled to the side as whatever had earned such scrutiny was clear causing her a lot of internal struggle.

There came a knock at the door and Rock came in with a happy look on his face carrying a punch bowl of something covered by a lid.

"Revy you're not ready?" he asked.

"Grr..What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Revy barked looking over her shoulder.

Rock just smiled as he looked past his wife to the corner where something he'd hung for her was causing her this irritation.

Hanging on the wall was a Cheongsam, a traditional Chinese dress for women. Rock had ordered this with severe discretion on what it was meant for, since he recalled certain deal he and Revy had once made.

"I still can't fuckin' believe you're throwing a damn Christmas party at the office" Revy grumbled as she started to get undressed.

It was Christmas time in the city of Roanapur and while nearly the entire population was far from in the holly jolly kinda sprit, Rock had convinced his friends that since he had not been present for it last year it was only fitting he plan a nice little party to celebrate with his new family. Dutch and Benny had been all for it. Benny of course had joked that Rock should remember a menorah for his Jewish traditions but really he didn't mind as he and Dutch thought the idea of a rare kinda reason to drink together and have a few laughs was good enough.

Revy however had mixed feelings. True she would never say no to a night of drinking and good times but when Rock informed that he had somehow managed to convince his parents and brother to come along, this reminded her of a deal they had made shortly after meeting Tom that if Rock pulled this off she would wear something fancy for the occasion.

This landed her in her current situation of wearing the red silk dress with a line of gold running from the neck then off to the side at the chest. It had an open diamond shape at the chest, and was fastened at the shoulder leaving the other arm exposed, which happened to be her tattooed arm. The dress ended about half way to her knees and was meant to be form fitting but also let her move.

At first Revy had been shocked when she had seen the dress calling it something only a skank like Chinglish would wear but Rock had argued he only had her in mind and thought that it would look very good on her.

"Heh you just wanna see this tight ass in something like this don't ya Rocky baby?" She asked as she was pulling the dress on over herself.

Rock meanwhile was busy getting a couple other items from the fridge.

"Of course I wanted my darling wife to have something that suited her she deserves it" Rock said with humour in his voice.

"Suits me?" Revy asked figuring out the clasp at the shoulder and then turning to the mirror as she finally had the whole dress in place.

Rock just smile "Of course the colour matches your fiery spirit" he said

Revy just rolled her eyes "alright it's on…better not fucking laugh" she muttered.

Rock then turned and his eyes were wide at the sight of Revy in her dress. It fit perfectly, true Revy kept her body in exceptional shape. This resulted in a very colorful image as she had a body like a supermodel but with muscle and a fieriness to her that said she wasn't some average airhead. It made all together for a provocative combination of deadly and sexy.

Revy at first was on her initial defense at having to wear something so unlike her but at seeing Rock's reaction her guard went down and she walked over towards him and pushed his jaw back up.

"Gonna catch flies doing that baby" she said as she leaned upwards to kiss him.

For a moment they forgot they had to be at the office within the next 5 minutes. However remarkably it was Revy who did the reminding as she broke away.

"So when are your folks showing up?" she asked as she, despite the great dress, slipped her holsters and guns on, and stepping into her combat boots.

Rock didn't even dare question her on that as he knew this was still Roanapur and Revy was still Revy. Even he still had his own guns on under his open shirt.

"They should be here in an hour or so their flight in should be just landing now" Rock said taking a lifting the punch bowl and the bag with some items he'd kept out of Revy's line of sight.

"Fuck I still can't believe you got them to come" Revy said curious as to what was in the punch bowl not to mention the bag of goodies Rock was carrying.

Ever since he'd gotten the ball rolling on this whole Christmas thing he been acting pretty secretive. She at first tried to pry the info out of him but Rock had reminded her that what the fun in a surprise was if he didn't get his chance for some good dramatic flair.

"Oh that was easy I told them if they couldn't make it down here we'd easily be able to go back to Japan for the holidays" Rock said as he led the way from their apartment headed for the office.

Revy at first was surprised then started laughing her ass off "Fuck that's hilarious Rocky baby only you could twist their arms like that" she said.

After a short walk down the street from their apartment they arrived at the office.

They noticed the car parked out front meaning Dutch and Benny were present already.

"Hope they like the tree" Rock said

"Tree?" Revy asked but Rock was already heading up the stairs.

"Hey guys Merry Christmas" Rock called out as he walked into the office finding a stunned Dutch and Benny both looking at a miniature fake Christmas tree. The kind you generally put on a coffee table or a kid's bed side table during the holidays.

"Same to you Santa Rock" Dutch said shaking his head as he light a smoke.

"I got to hand it to you Rock you never stop surprising us all" Benny said as he gave Rock a hand with his heavy burden.

"Thanks Benny you can put the bag under the tree it's all presents away" Rock said as he set the punchbowl down on the table in the centre of the office.

"Presents?" His friends all asked.

"Sure can't be a holiday without a gift or two" He explained

It was then that Dutch and Benny also noticed the dress Revy was wearing. Not to mention she still work her guns and boots but still the fact was she was wearing a dress.

Revy "Two Hands", was wearing a dress.

Revy took notice the surprised looks on their faces.

"What the fuck are you two looking at? Take a picture dipshits it might last longer"

"Not likely Revy you'd just shoot the camera out of my hands" Dutch replied

"Shut up" Revy just said sarcastically as she dropped into the couch.

"Why don't you all try my eggnog" Rock said then.

"Eggnog, sorry to burst your bubble Rocky baby but that seems kinda limp dick for this crowd" Revy said as he was in the Kitchen now.

"Suit yourself Revy" Rock replied amused.

Curious the crew all examined the bowl. After removing the cover all evidence indicated that is looked just like the traditional kinda drink you'd serve at this holiday. Then benny took the ladle inside the bowl and poured three plastic cups full from the stack on the table.

The three brave souls then raised the cups in salute then each took a sip.

Then each of them coughed, gasped for air, or just swallowed hard to react to the heavy burning of the strong drink.

"Holy shit Rock; whatever this is it needs an octane rating" Dutch said.

"Not bad though" Benny replied.

Revy said nothing but just silently admired her husband for still putting a 'Rock' kinda spin on something like this kinda holiday celebration.

Rock came back in "well it is a family secret recipe" He said filling a cup for himself and taking a drink with a slight shake of his head "more or less had to make do" he said.

Revy just took another gulp then managed it must better this time "that's the way to celebrate Rock".

Rock then glanced at the clock "well we got a bit of time to kill the food I ordered should be on its way soon. How about we do gifts now?" Rock suggested.

"Sounds good although given your actions so far Rock I'm pretty curious and worried as to what the hell you got wrapped up" Dutch said

Rock just smiled as he walked over to the items he had tucked under the tree. He walked around the seated group and gave each of them a colourfully wrapped gift. Dutch and Benny got holiday bags with their gifts inside covered in tissue paper.

Revy's considered of two wrapped small boxes.

"Alright go ahead" Rock said.

Revy, Dutch, and Benny then just looked at each other then went at it. Dutch was first to extract his gifts. A small wooden box which inside contained a bottle, the second item was a book.

"Damn Rock not back, Arbeg provenance a fist release bottle too, hard to come by those" He said with a grin then he look at the book "What do we have here….An Employers guide to Dysfunctional employee's" he said reading the title.

Dutch took one look at Rock then burst out laughing.

"Leave to you Rock a bottle of booze and a book on dealing with all you crazy kids" he said taking a drink from his cup of eggnog.

Benny was next in line, the first thing he pulled out was a new Hawaiian shirt, much like his red one except it was blue, and he also received a book.

"Hey thanks Rock not a bad colour and what's this called" he said flipping the book over then his eyes went wide.

The tittle said 'Beginner's guide to the Kama Sutra'

Benny just looked up at Rock.

"Well Revy gave me the idea after her suggestion of yours Jane sex life" Rock said with a cheeky grin.

Benny couldn't help but laugh "now that's pretty funny Rock. Thanks man you got class" he said,

Finally it was Revy's turn.

"What are you gonna pull on me now wise ass" she said as she unwrapped the two small boxes. Opening the first she pulled out from the tissue paper inside polished and shining silver zippo lighter with engraving of the calico jack on one side and the name Revy on the other.

Revy was speechless until after a gentle nudge she realized she had one more to open. With curiosity burning she unwrapped then opened the second box and now was in for a real surprise.

Inside was a pendant. Pulling it out by the simple black string the group saw it was a bullet hanging from the string. It was a made of silver, looked to be a 9mm round and had one single engraved on the side of it.

R.R

Dutch and Benny believed it to mean Relief, Regret a common phrase heard by those whose lives involved guns, drinking, and doing dirty work.

However Revy knew what Rock had done. The letters stood for….Revy and Rock. She alone understood the meaning of the pendant from a time when she had posed him a question and he had answered simply.

If you're my gun, then I'm your bullet

"Dammit Rock" she muttered looking downward to hide her face a bit feeling herself blushing.

Dutch and Benny each looked away giving the couple a moment.

"I hope you like it Revy-"the rest of his sentence was cut off when she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to kiss him hot and heavy.

As they broke apart she whispered her face an inch from his "I love it Rock…and you" she said.

"You're welcome Revy and same to you Dutch and Benny" Rock said standing up.

"Hey not so fast Rock, we aren't done here yet" Dutch said.

"Huh?" Rock said confused.

"That's right dumbass you think you're the only one who can plan ahead" Revy said yanking him back down as from under the couch she pulled out a couple wrapped gifts.

Rock was deeply touched as he settled back down and Revy set the items in his lap.

Flicking open her lighting and finding it already filled she light up a smoke "sure wish had done ours before yours Rock. Gonna make mine look like shit" she said.

"It's the thought that counts Revy and its very sweet of you all" Rock replied.

"Alright enough of them open 'em up. The bigger one's from Benny and I" Dutch said.

Deciding to start there Rock opened the larger of the two it felt heavy and like some kind of case. After removing the wrapping he saw it was in fact a case. Rosewood with a lid and glass panel and inside….

Rock gasped.

"What do you think cowboy?" Dutch asked.

Even Revy was taken back as she had not known what they got for Rock.

Inside was a first generation, artillery model, Colt SAA. It had polished and handmade wooden grips and a beautiful blued finish. There was brass plate on the edge of the lid for the case the read "The Peacemaker"

"Holy shit!" Revy said as she also saw what she was looking at. Revy had a fondness for western films and old west style guns. The only thing she hated was when they were carried but complete idiots such as one she had once encountered in Japan.

Rock lifted the lid and took hold of the iconic gun "Dutch…Benny this is amazing" Rock said.

"1873 model, we had Praiyachat restore her to her glory days condition. Fires .45 LC and even had him tweak it a bit and put in a safety bar so if you ever want to make use of her you can load all 6 shots" Dutch said explaining the details of the beautiful piece of old west craftsmanship.

Rock took hold of the gun and cocked the hammer half way back, opened the gate, spun the cylinder around, then closed the gate and pulled the hammer all the way back. He then pulled the trigger and felt the crispness of the pull and the thud of the hammer falling.

"I don't know what to say" Rock said as he then handed it to Revy as she was itching to look it over.

"Like the title? I figured it's most common nickname suited you Mr. Peacemaker" Dutch said with a grin.

Rock chuckled

"Ya know Dutch your pretty clever" Rock said to which Dutch raised his drink in salute.

Revy handed him the gun back and finally he opened his last gift. Revy seemed to get nervous only Rock could see the telltale signs.

He took apart the wrapping to find it was in fact an IPod, the very same one he had lost during the fight with Kenji when he'd been shot. Only this one had a phrase on the back of it.

Bullet Proof

Rock just smiled as he picked it up and gave her a fond look.

"Thanks Revy" he said.

Revy felt her fact getting hot again and just shrugged "well you did pretty good in that fight" she said trying to sound tough as ever.

Suddenly the buzzer went off.

"Perfect timing that must be the food" Rock said standing to go get it.

"Gotta hand it to him, this turned out to be a pretty decent idea" Dutch said.

Benny nodded "Ya feels pretty good, maybe next year he'll get the entire city in the mood down at the Flag" he joked.

Dutch snorted at that.

Revy meanwhile was sitting quietly looking at the necklace in her hand, on the inside she felt a warm feeling wash over. She'd never speak her thoughts aloud on that it wasn't how she was but she found this gift in particular very special. True she had gotten a few other items like this from Rock that meant a great deal but there was something about this small simple thing that just felt so damn right.

She then put it one raising the string over her head and letting it settle naturally. She noticed that the bullet slipped under her shift and came to rest just between her breasts. She decided then and there she would always wear it like that.

They soon heard Rock on his way back; he was also talking to someone.

"Hey guys foods here and look who showed up just in time" Rock said.

Coming in behind was none other than the Okajima family themselves.

Each of them had mixed looks on their faces ranging from barely concealed fear, to shock, or attempted composure.

"What's on the menu Rock" Dutch asked as he stood and nodded to their guest to come in and make themselves comfortable.

Revy noticed that Tom was make great efforts to not look at her, she grinned evilly as she knew it was because he was likely scared of her or Rock, or both now.

Sarah and Hideki meanwhile were also trying to maintain something of social graces albeit they were clearly terrified about being back in this city.

"Well actually I got several things here. Pizza, Thai, Chinese, those chili dogs you like Dutch" Rock explained seeming pleasantly unaware of his families discomfort, or maybe he was and chose to ignore it.

"Quite the spread there Rock, any special reason for it?" Benny asked.

"Well I doubt I'd have managed a turkey dinner, plus I figured considering how our happy group is so diverse I figured why not do the thing same with dinner"

"I'm not complaining long as my dogs are there" Dutch said helping Rock with the food.

While that was taking care of Rock turned to his family with a mischievous smile.

"Dad, Mom I got a big surprise for you both. Tom knows but I asked him to keep quiet about it" Rock said.

Of course Tom had two reasons, 1 to avoid the embarrassment of his being used by a criminal, and of course he was now in fear of his brother.

"What is it son?" Sarah asked trying to get used to things.

While Dutch and Benny watched the Roanapur style soap opera Revy took the hint and stood up from the couch to stand by Rock.

"I'd like you both to meet Revy again or rather your new daughter in-law" he said cheerfully.

While barely holding her ribs together Revy also smiled.

"Nice to see ya again Mom, Dad, brother" she said addressing her in-laws.

…..

The Okajima family members were completely speechless…

.

A/N: Now what better way to end a holiday themed chapter with THAT kinda surprise for the family members then to find Two Hands was now a part of it? With this as I said earlier I now conclude the first of my Black Lagoon stories. I hope you all liked my gift ideas, gag ones and otherwise. I would like to thank Jim1681 again for his help and suggestions and inspiration from his own holiday lagoon story for the special lighter Rock gives Revy.

Now I better get to work on part two. To be continued….enjoy!