A/N: Hey! It's another installment of the 'Tyranno's girl's fanfiction conquest series'!

Deidara- What the hell does that mean, un?

TG- Ooh! Glad you asked, Dei-chan!

Deidara- Don't call me that, un...

TG- Any who... Here's the deal. I need help in my creative-writing so I've been getting ideas like crazy! Also, I am trying my very hardest to get into the league of the big fanfiction writers (Like darkalbino, Karijn-Aska-Shangel, and Midesko) Yet, I know I will never be as good as them. So I decided to try and post a one-shot fanfic for each of my favorite Naruto yaoi pairings. This one right here... Is going to be my first SasoDei.

Deidara- I never agreed to this, un!

TG- No you didn't, but just act cool for once.

Deidara- What are you talking about, I'm always cool, un!!

TG- Yeah, whatever. So, this fic is inspired by the song 'Joker' by the Vocaloid Miku Hatsune. Originally I was going to have this be a KakuHida, but as I worked it out it seemed that SasoDei would be better. But I hope that you guys like it all the same! It's set sometime in older England (kind of...) but I can't place a date.

Deidara- Just get this over with, un...

TG- I don't own Naruto, Howl's Moving Castle (you'll see...), Vocaloid, or anything but my thoughts.

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Joker

In a small Victorian-village on one sunny, warm afternoon, two friends were sitting at a table outside of a restaurant. One of them was a feminine young man with long black hair pulled back into a loose pony-tail and line birthmarks on either side of his nose. He looked across the table and simply rolled his eyes before taking a sip of his tea. Across from him a sigh, the twentieth one of the day, occurred. It came from the long-haired blonde with the stunning sapphire eyes that had been playing with his food for the past hour. The blonde had his hair up in a high pony-tail yet some still covered his right eye.

Both men had the keenest habit of dressing alike, seeing as how they were close friends from their college days, wearing dresses (their caretakers had always seen it better to pose them as women) of the colors red and black, despite the current opinion of those colors at this time. The brunette looked up at the blonde and sighed back, "Deidara. All this sighing needs to stop; you're drawing attention to yourself." Deidara glanced up and huffed,

"Itachi, honestly, it isn't like we don't do that all the time, un." He cleared his throat and looked downward, "Especially now of days, un..." Itachi huffed.

"In all seriousness, Deidara, what is wrong? You can tell me anything. I'm your best friend!" Deidara still stayed quiet, causing Itachi to shake his head. After a horse drawn-carriage passed by, Deidara spoke up,

"It's just that..." He stopped and gestured for Itachi to come closer. "I've been feeling so very... You know, un..." Itachi blinked,

"So very... what?" Deidara sighed.

"Depressed, un. I don't know where it's been coming from and I can't tell anyone or else they'll put me in a loony-bin!" Itachi nodded, most of his family members had been committed due to this 'depression' that had been going around. The brunette thought about his best friend's predicament for a while before he announced,

"Of course! Why don't you ask Kisam--?" Before Itachi could even finish his sentence, Deidara had covered his mouth with his own hand. Itachi quietly blinked before Deidara replied,

"I'm not going to ask that demon anything, un!" However, when the blonde looked up, he blanched. There standing behind Itachi was a tall, muscular man with blue hair and sharp black eyes. He was dressed in blue formal-wear and upon seeing Deidara's expression he smiled, exposing sharp teeth.

"Hello Deidara. By the way, I prefer supernatural-being." He leaned down and gave Itachi a light kiss on the cheek. Itachi smiled at the action before stating,

"It appears that you have perfect timing, Kisame." The blue-haired man blinked.

"Why's that, love?" Itachi rolled his eyes before asking, much to Deidara's dismay,

"Do you know anything about getting rid of depression?" Deidara groaned, falling to the table. Why did Itachi have to speak up?! Meanwhile, Kisame placed his chin between his thumb and forefinger, thinking.

"Hm... Depression, huh? Well, obviously whoever is depressed is lacking joy in their life so you just have to find something to make them happy. Simple!" Deidara groaned,

"But what if I don't know what will make me happy, un?!" Itachi rolled his eyes at his friend's over-the-top groaning. Kisame, however, smirked and stated,

"Maybe you need a specialist." Deidara looked up, noticing the look in the man's eyes but still asking,

"What are you getting at, un?"

"Well..." Kisame took a seat in the chair between the two younger males before continuing, "What if I said that I knew someone who could help you find what would make you happy. Your... heart's desire, if you will." Deidara raised a fine eyebrow. Could there be some truth in what he was saying? Despite what Itachi protested, Kisame was a demon. He, like the rest of his kind, made a living off of leading people astray. Although no matter how many times this fact was presented, Itachi still adored the blue-haired demon. Yet, Kisame seemed viable enough. He never harmed the two young males and always offered his assistance whenever the opportunity presented itself. After countless times of refusing, Deidara thought, this just might be the time to accept.

"Well, who is this wish-granter, un?" Kisame chuckled and kept up his smirk as he held out an open hand towards Deidara. In a matter of seconds, a blue flame rushed up in the demon's palm and quickly disappeared, leaving a blood-red piece of parchment. Itachi and Deidara looked at the paper, wide-eyed.

"What is it, Kisame?" Itachi asked, almost wanting to touch it. Kisame, however, pulled it out of the weasel's grasp and pushed it toward Deidara.

"It's for Deidara to find out. But if I were you, Blondie, I would use it tonight." Deidara bit his lower lip. This whole idea of wish-granter's and magical pieces of paper seemed fishy. But, as they say, curiosity killed the cat. And this blonde kitty was certainly intrigued by the idea of finding his heart's desire...

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"How the hell did I let Kisame talk me into this, un?" Deidara shivered as he walked to the forest that moonlit night, holding onto the parchment that Kisame had given him. First off, it was freezing that night! The blonde hoped that he wouldn't freeze to death before he even got to see who he was supposed to meet. Second, Kisame and Itachi had convinced Deidara to wear his best dress: it was blue and flowing, complementing his eyes and making him look all the more like a girl (also contributing to his coldness). Finally, he had been wandering in the woods for an hour and he hadn't seen anything yet. "I never should have trusted that demon, un!" He seethed, rubbing his covered arms. At that moment, the red piece of paper tugged harshly in one direction. "What's this then, un?" The blonde asked before the paper tugged again. Now, you would think that the paper would have flown out of Deidara's hands by now, but no. It seemed to be stuck to the scared blonde's hand as it quickly began to drag Deidara through the woods at a speedy pace.

"Wait, un! Slow down!!" The paper, if it could, didn't listen. It continued to rush the young man through the forest, skillfully dodging all the trees, and knowing its destination. The fearful ride continued on until Deidara arrived at a small clearing. Deidara, who had closed his eyes, took a deep breath as he felt that he had stopped. "Thank goodness, un." He panted a few more times before opening his blue eyes.

There, standing in regal glory, was a giant castle. It was surrounded by red rose bushes and there was a red brick path that led up to the door of the building. The building itself was the same shade as the paper that Deidara held. "It's... It's beautiful, un." Deidara whispered. From the corner of his eye he could see a glowing; he held up his hand and saw that the paper, which was blank red before, now had golden writing on it. "Oh boy..." He breathed out before he read aloud, "'The Joker's Castle: Come in and find the root of your most heart-felt desire!'" Deidara frowned, "Hmph. Well, I guess that I found the right place, un." He carefully walked up the path and when he arrived on the door step, they opened up with a loud, dragging creak. Deidara flinched, taking a step back. "M-Maybe I shouldn't do this, un..." Suddenly, the paper moved and dragged him into the castle and before Deidara could even make a peep, the doors shut.

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"NO!! Let me out, un! LET ME OUT!!" Deidara screamed, banging and kicking away at the door in the dark room; actually crying a little bit. "I don't want to die, un! Please, I..."

Lights came up. Deidara turned around and saw that around the room were various candle-sticks and thousands of red candles. "Un..." The blonde groaned as he eventually walked away from the door. "Well, it seems to be just as pretty on the inside as it is on the outside, un." Abruptly, a gasp tore its way from his throat. The red paper that had been virtually stuck to his hand now flew away towards the center of the room. "Now you decide to let go?!" Deidara huffed and ran after the letter. The blonde finally got to the center of the room and was about to pick up the paper when there was a deep, rich laughter from above. Deidara's blonde head whipped around the dark red room, looking for the source. When he couldn't find it, he shivered and asked, his voice wavering, "He-Hello? Who's there, un?"

There was silence. Then the laughter rose up again; rich like wine and sultry. "Honestly!" Deidara fumed. "Could you just show yourself, un!" A massive amount of light appeared, causing Deidara to shield his eyes. After the light had calmed down, he looked up and saw the winding staircase. He shivered again when the laughter came back. Then, it seemed to grow closer. Deidara gasped as he saw something descending from the far away ceiling.

It seemed to be a man. Was it..? Yes, it was a man descending slowly from the ceiling. He was clad in red and black striped pants, a wine-red dress-shirt, a burgundy vest covering that, and copper dress-shoes. As the man got closer still, Deidara saw that he had red hair but his face was covered by the red top hat that he held in front of his face. The blonde tilted his head from side to side, looking for something.

"Are there no strings, un?" He asked to no one in particular. If there were, they must have been invisible because Deidara didn't see a thing as the figure floated down closer... and closer... and still closer until he landed in front of Deidara bowing, slightly. All was still. Not even breathing broke the silence of the ornate space. After staring at the figure in front of him for a few silent minutes, the blonde tried to speak. "Excuse me, un..." The man sprung to life. He stood up straight and lowered the hat from in front of his face. He had a mask the same shade as his clothes that covered the upper part of his face and his rosy lips were in a small smile. The man spoke,

"Why, Good Evening to you. Do tell, how did you find this most obscure of places?" Oh, how the blonde could have gotten drunk on the man's voice. But he shook himself out of his daze and replied,

"I was actually dragged here, believe it if you will, by that piece of paper, un." The man in red looked down and saw the paper. He smirked and snapped his fingers, causing the paper to disappear in a flash of red flame and reappear in the man's free hand in the same fashion. The man's deep brown eyes scanned over the paper for a brief second before he muttered,

"Kisame..." under his breath. He then made the paper disappear again before he announced, "Well then! Let us start up a new show time!" He glanced at Deidara and licked his lips before continuing, "We'll need a young beauty in their prime!" Deidara heavily blushed.

"Hey, um... Are you the owner of this castle?" The red-head nodded, still smiling,

"I am indeed, my dear. Now, see here!" The man tossed his hat up into the air where it floated a few feet above the man's head. He clapped his hands and swung them by each other, left to right to left, and suddenly a group of playing cards appeared like a fan. He tossed them up into the air and his hat floated down and rested on his red hair. Then, he moved his hand in one direction and the cards followed. He moved another way and the cards obeyed, as if he had them by the strings or something. He pointed to his other open hand and the cards filed into it. After, he fanned them out and asked, "Now, would you like to play a card game?" Deidara blushed again. That had been... amazing! But then the thought that Kisame had brought this whole wish-granter business up made him suspicious.

"I'm sorry, un. But I really don't know who you are, and..." Deidara suddenly found himself pressed flush against this strange, dark, handsome figure. Their bodies so close that even the rolls of fabric that made up Deidara's dress couldn't have hidden the fact that Deidara was indeed a male. So close that the man could feel the frantic beating of Deidara's heart and smile. The faces so close that their breath was mingling, Deidara was immediately hooked on the smell of cinnamon that came from the being in front of him.

"You really don't have to know my name. Just call me... The Joker." The man said, gently stroking the blonde's cheek. Deidara nodded,

"Un... Okay, I'll play."

"Excellent, love!" The Joker cheered, snapping his fingers. A small, round, cherry-wood table rose up from the ground in a puff of red smoke. The Joker took Deidara's hand and led them both to the new piece of furniture. "Please, have a seat." Deidara nodded and sat down on one side while the red-head sat on the other. The Joker smiled before tossing eight cards onto the table. He widened his eyes and the cards started to organize themselves, shuffling and shifting position on the table's smooth surface. "Now, obviously you have heard that I am somewhat of a... wish-granter..." The Joker chuckled slightly, "But I don't just give wishes away. So here's what we do: I will place three cards in this group of eight. One," A card flipped over, "Is the Queen of Hearts. If you find her then I'll help you find your true love. The next," The Queen of Hearts flipped down and switched position with another "Is the King of Diamonds. If you find him then I'll give you untold wealth beyond your wildest dreams. But, if you find..." The King of Diamonds flipped down and moved away. Another card flipped up, "The Joker. Well, our little game will be over. Get it, love?" Deidara nodded but internally he sighed. He had never really been that good at card games but if it would help him find his heart's desire, then he would play. "Also, don't try to think of what card you will get. These cards have the habit of doing the exact opposite of what a stranger wants. Understand?"

"What?" Deidara asked, confused. The Joker chuckled, the unused cards floating around him.

"Do you understand the rules? Searching for true love is for fools. And if you expect a pretty favor, well, expect your whole existence shall waver. Get it?" No, the blonde did not! But rather than hearing more of the red-head's explanations, they were giving him a headache, he just nodded.

"Yes, un..."

"Wonderful! Now..." The cards shuffled one more time before they stilled. "Choose carefully." Deidara looked at the eight cards and thought.

'Well... I don't really need money. So, I guess that the only rational choice would be to go for true love. Yes, that's it, un! I want true love!' The blonde's blue eyes scanned over the array of cards for a minute before thinking again, 'Come on true love! Come on Queen of Hearts!' He pointed to the card closest to the Joker. The red-head looked down and then back up, smirking,

"Are you sure?" Deidara was a bit unnerved but he nodded. The Joker hummed a tune; it was quite the eerie tune, Deidara noted. Then The Joker picked up the card and turned it towards himself. He glanced at it and then mock-groaned,

"Oh no..." He flipped it towards Deidara, "You got a Joker card! I'm so sorry." Deidara sighed but smiled,

"Oh, really un? Well, thank you for your time I should get going now." Deidara stood up and took a step from the table. However, when he tried to take another, he couldn't move. "What?" He gasped. He willed his body to move again but he just couldn't. He heard a deep chuckle from beside him and he looked at the man in red.

"So sorry, Deidara, but you probably didn't get how this game works." The Joker waved his hands and all the cards on the table flipped over. Deidara gasped. Every one of the cards had been a grinning... smiling... laughing Joker! "You had to demand for what you wanted, didn't you? You couldn't just wait for faith to take a draw. Well, I guess that is the fault of your species: You always expect." Deidara whimpered,

"What are you going to do to me, un?!" The Joker sighed.

"There you go. Expecting again. I was actually going to let you go but you know, just for that..." He waved his hands and the cards all swarmed around Deidara. The blonde screamed, the flurry of cards actually nicking him a few times to the point of bleeding. After a while of this, The Joker snapped his fingers and the cards retreated back to the table. Deidara swayed a bit but caught himself. His beautiful blue dress was shredded and the areas at his arms were bloody, as were his cheeks. Deidara sniffled, he hurt so much. He turned slightly, finding he could move, and looked at the red-head. His eyes were closed, as if he were sleeping. Deidara thanked his lucky stars and tried to make a run for the door. But, he swooned on his way. Deidara shook his head and began again but he still swayed. His body was going numb, he couldn't even breathe. "You expected that I was asleep didn't you, Deidara. Well, I wasn't. But you're about to be. FOREVER!" The man chuckled loud and deep, making the last sound that Deidara heard echo through his ears. The blonde turned towards The Joker, and extended a hand towards him, his other hand clutching his chest, just before he collapsed.

The Joker stood up from his table and sauntered over to the almost lifeless blonde. He kneeled down and rolled the younger onto his back and brushed some of the soft, golden locks from his face. "So pretty..." He whispered. The Joker waved his hand and in a rush of red flame, a ruby-encrusted dagger appeared. "So stupid..." He whispered before he plunged the dagger towards the blonde's chest. However, rather than piercing Deidara's body and coursing blood all over, it dug into the space right above him. The red-haired man smiled and dragged it down, making a small opening. The Joker removed the dagger and plunged his hand inside. "Now... Where is it..?" He mused as he moved his hand inside. Suddenly, "Aha! Howl, eat your heart out!(1)" He clenched his hand on something and pulled; softly but still firm enough to get what he wanted. The Joker pulled out his hand to show what he had taken from the blonde. It was Deidara's wet and still-beating heart. "So precious..." The red-head smirked at his treasure before he licked at it, showing his sharp teeth. "Mm... This is going to be delicious! But..." He glanced down at Deidara; the blonde's blue eyes stared straight up listlessly, his face still bleeding. "I can't just leave him like that, now can I? You should always make them die with a smile!" He chuckled before he laid the heart on the table. He asked it, "Now. Show me his heart's desire!" The small muscle began to glow a bright red. The glow intensified until it encompassed the whole room.

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The Joker uncovered his eyes and discovered that he was in a luxurious bedroom. The walls were covered in silk drapes, the floor was covered in various jewels and treasures. In the center of the room was a blue and gold silken bed. And in that bed, was a sleeping Deidara clad in a flowing golden gown. "Why is he so beautiful?" The Joker grimaced as he looked at his own attire. It was the gallant outfit of a young adventurer. Perhaps even... "A Prince Charming?" The red-head huffed. It was his custom that whenever he stole someone's heart, he would make their last few moments the happiest of their lives. And what better way to do that than to fulfill their fantasies? "So, it seems that our young blonde has a thing for fairy tales, eh?" The Joker walked over to the bed and looked at the younger. His blonde locks were loosened around his face and his skin looked so soft that he felt that had to touch it. So he did. "Angel feathers..." He whispered. The Joker tried to remember which fairy tale that this was from and smirked when he remembered "Sleeping beauty." He leaned over Deidara's face and lowered his own until he touched the blonde's lips with his.

"Mrm..." Deidara whimpered, But that just seemed to get the Joker even more enthused. But, he did have to stay according to the script, per say. He pulled away and waited. The blonde's blue eyes opened up softly, still sleepy of course. He blinked a few times but then gasped upon seeing the Joker. "Wh-who are you, un? And what's with the mask?" The Joker blinked before he realized that he hadn't taken off his disguise.

"Why, I'm your Prince Charming! I've come to your aide and shall rescue you from your lonely years in this ornate prison." 'Wow, that was better than usual...' Deidara cocked his head to the side but then smiled.

"To rescue me, un? Hm... Well, come on then! Get to rescuing me, un!" The Joker frowned.

'Impatient little minx, isn't he?' He smiled again before resting himself on the bed besides the blonde beauty and asking, "Of course I will rescue you! But, well, we are in a bedroom. On this lush bed, with no one around... If you get my drift, love." Deidara blinked and thought for a moment. He looked up, then down, then at the Joker, then down again. Suddenly he blushed and exclaimed,

"You pervert, un!" Before he promptly smacked the Joker in the head with a pillow, feathers fluttering to the bedspread. The red-head groaned before he shook his head,

"Now, now, I'll only make it good for you. You're so precious, how could I even consider hurting you?"

"Well, un..." Deidara pondered his choices for a moment. Something deep inside of him, he didn't know what, was telling him that he should take this chance; he might not ever get to do anything like this again. "Alright, brave prince. I'm yours, un." The Joker chuckled before he playfully pushed Deidara to the bed and began to undress the younger.

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In the real world, there was a whirl of blue followed by red pants. In the air above the floor, The red-haired Joker was dancing a strange waltz with Deidara's unconscious body. "You are quite graceful, Deidara..." The Joker commented. Of course, Deidara didn't answer. The Joker twirled the blonde around, always holding onto one of the blonde's hands least he fall. On one turn, The Joker extended his arm, Deidara hanging limp from where he was held.

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"Ahn..." Deidara moaned as The Joker thrust his body against his own. In what seemed like a few seconds, The Joker had removed their clothes and was busying himself by torturing the blonde male; brushing here, pinching there. "Mrm... Please stop, un..." Deidara whined, trying to avert his eyes from the beautiful nude body above him. The Joker, who was nude except for his mask, pulled away and laughed.

"What would you have me do, then?" He leaned down and kissed at Deidara's chest, from the areas around his nipples to his naval, never touching the sensitive spots but causing moans all the same. Deidara moaned,

"Please! Touch me, un!" The Joker shook his head but took one of the hardened pebbles into between his teeth, pinching slightly but sucking lovingly. "Ah!" Deidara yelped. This was all very foreign to him, but oh so very tantalizing. So very wanted. "More, un! Please, more!" The Joker let go of the abused piece of nerves and went to its twin, making sure to look up at the blonde's blushing face.

'Why is he so beautiful?' He pondered as he continued his work. Meanwhile, Deidara was panting and sweating like crazy. And only from a few touches?! This man, whoever he was, was quite skilled in the bedroom arts. "Are you enjoying yourself, love?" The red-head asked before sneaking a hand down between the blonde's legs.

"Y-yes, un. I-- OH GOD!" While the blonde was speaking, The Joker had wrapped a hand around Deidara's arousal and was stroking it at a slow, yet wondrous pace.

"What was that?" The Joker asked, moving his hand up the heated flesh and down again.

"Go... Go faster, un..."

"No." The Joker replied, smirking as he pressed his thumb into the slit of the head; it already beginning to leak pre-cum. "My, isn't this lovely?" He whispered before licking at the sticky substance that the blonde beauty produced. Deidara screamed as he felt a hot, wet muscle on him.

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"So gorgeous!" The Joker stated in the real world, spinning Deidara's almost-lifeless body around again. He was entranced at how Deidara's face, even at death's door, looked angelic. How his eyes, lifeless, still held beauty that made sapphires hide in shame. Blonde hair that was more like woven gold. The Joker observed all before he brought Deidara's body close to him and dipped them both close to the ground.

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"Please! Take me now, Please, un! Just do it!" Deidara screamed as he was clutching at red hair; it was the only thing that he could reach through the pleasurable fog that the Joker had created when he took the blonde's member into his mouth. The blonde fell back, screaming. How could one man make him feel like this, Deidara thought as he tried to get a sturdy hand on something, anything! The Joker simply chuckled again, this time the sound sending the most wondrous vibrations through Deidara's body. Deidara's hips shook a bit, he felt hot all over and this torture was getting unbearable. "I.. I can't take it-- AH!" Deidara screamed, his body tensing, releasing into the elder's mouth. The Joker swallowed everything lovingly, savoring the taste and making sure to leave just a little bit on his tongue. He pulled off of the blonde and smiled,

"My, Deidara, you seemed to enjoy that, didn't you?" The blonde could hardly move but he found a small bit of energy to nod softly. "I thought so. However, there's something that feels much better than mere fellatio. Would you like to experience it?" Deidara panted, his face still rosy and eyes hazy. He whispered,

"Yes.. please..."

"Good princess." The Joker cooed before taking three of his own fingers into his mouth a coating them with his own saliva mixed with the remaining cum that was in his mouth. When they were slick enough, the Joker sat back on his heels and spread Deidara's legs. "Now try and relax, all right love?" Deidara nodded again. Then, he felt a slickened finger at his entrance.

"Mm..!" He groaned at the intrusive feeling of it going inside.

"Relax love..." The Joker whispered, wriggling his finger and trying to loosen up the tight ring of muscle. It seemed like forever but the red-head was able to add another finger and scissor them out slowly.

"Un! It hurts!" Deidara whined, digging his fingers into his palms but trying not to protest too much.

"Just be patient a little bit more. Just one more finger..." The Joker slipped in a third finger, kissing Deidara's teary cheeks in hopes that it would lessen the sting. It seemed to help a little bit because Deidara stopped crying and actually began to ride on the elder man's fingers.

"I.. Un... Think that you can... Oh! Go now!" Deidara moaned and screamed when his rocking caused the fingers to hit his prostate. The Joker hummed in relief and spit into his palm, rubbing it over his erection. He lined himself up with the blonde's entrance and asked,

"Are you okay, love?" Deidara nodded quickly, his erection back up and his body anxious. The Joker smiled before he began to press into the delicate body below him. He moaned as his own member was encase by the most exquisite heat and tightness. Deidara was enraptured too; never had he thought that having someone like this would be so amazing! So mind-blowing! When the Joker stopped to let Deidara adjust, the blonde didn't even wait a minute before he cried,

"Please move, un!", thrusting his hips onto the red-head. The Joker groaned at the sudden movement but nonetheless began to move.

The pace was loving, passionate, yet fast and intense. Both of them were simply high on the other and they wanted to go falling through the winds of passion together. Deidara's screams would change depending on how close the Joker was to his prostate. When the elder hit it, the blonde screamed out and his muscles would clench on the Joker, causing him to moan in pleasure as well.

This went on for what seemed like forever; blissful eternity. Yet, The Joker wrapped a hand around the blonde's weeping member and began to pump it in time with his motions. "Oh..! I'm! I'm going to..!" The Joker gritted out,

"Just do it!" And with a scream, Deidara came onto the both of their chests. The blonde's orgasm triggered the Joker's, which was so intense that it shocked him back to the real world...

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"Shit!" The Joker gasped as pleasure hit him like a mountain. He even almost dropped Deidara's body to the floor. Luckily, he caught the blonde and carefully floated them down to the floor. "That was... Oh my, I'm exhausted..." The red-head panted, struggling to carry them both towards the couch in the room. He shook his head in order to snap out of his daze and ended up shaking his mask off. He was a beautifully handsome young man and his brown eyes stood out even more now, but right now he couldn't focus on his mask. He had to finish this. Now!

He sat Deidara on the couch, the blonde sitting upright like a doll. "You are too good for this world anyway, darling." The Joker smiled softly before snapping his fingers and grabbing his dagger when it appeared. He moved his arm far to his right but closer to Deidara.

"Just one swipe and it shall be over." He didn't move.

"Just a simple gesture." Still as stone.

"Here we go!" He smiled shakily but didn't budge. The Joker looked at Deidara's beautiful, unmoving body for a long moment. Suddenly...

"..Sori.." It was like something in him broke; he could even hear it. Tears began to stream down his face and he tossed the dagger aside. He stared intently at the blonde and asked,

"What did you say?" It was quiet for a moment before Deidara's hollow voice spoke again.

"Sa.. So.. Ri..." The Joker gasped. He quietly turned to the table and picked up Deidara's heart. He ran back and presented it to Deidara's body and the small muscle floated into him. The Joker silently prayed that the blonde's soul hadn't left his body. A minute later, Deidara gasped and blinked, his eyes once again full of life. "Un.. Wha? What happened?" The red-haired male wiped the tears from his eyes and bowed in front of Deidara on one knee. "Ah! Get away from me, un! You tried to kill me!" The Joker sadly nodded but spoke up.

"Yes, and I'm truly sorry. But you! You are the only person who knows why, Deidara!" Deidara snapped back,

"What the hell are you talking abou..!!" But he stopped. While he was out cold, he had realized something. "Wait un…" He paused again and thought quietly. He turned towards the man after a moment and said. "Your name is… Sasori." The red-head nodded in response. "And you steal the hearts of others… Because…" The blonde gasped as he looked at the crying eyes below him. Deidara was almost at tears when he realized, "Because you don't have one of your own. You poor wretched thing, you don't even have a soul, do you, un?" Sasori shook his head before answering,

"And only one who is truly good at heart could have realized that. Good at heart…" He stifled back a sob as he asked, "You must forgive me! Please!" Deidara tried pulling away. There was no way in hell that he would forgive the monster who had almost killed. The monster that had scared him out of his wits? The monster that had made his body sing in so many ways with his touches and… WHAT?! Deidara flinched as he realized looking down at this man, demon, whatever he was. He actually let a small smile grow on his face as he knelt down to Sasori's level. "Deidara?"

"You have a pretty messed up way of doing it, but I think that you may actually have ended up making me fall in love with you, un." Sasori's eyes widened ad before he could say anything Deidara continued, "As for the whole soul thing, un. Well…" Deidara closed his eyes and trailed off in a small hum. He opened them back up and whispered, "If you promise to love me as much as I will you, we could share mine, un." Sasori gasped, pulling away from the blonde.

"Surely you jest!" Deidara shook his head.

"I will give half of it to you, un. Just promise me that…" Deidara was cut off when he felt Sasori's lips on his own. This kiss was just as passionate as the ones that had been shared in the fantasy but when the two broke apart this time, Deidara felt strange. It was like something had been taken away but he felt better for it.

"It is done." Sasori stated, his eyes looking all the more alive. "Now! Let me show my new love the beauty of the night!" He snapped his fingers and the largest window of the castle opened up above the door. "Shall we?" Deidara looked at Sasori's hand for a second before he grabbed it.

"We shall, un!" Sasori laughed, rich and heart-felt, and he whisked them both out the window, holding Deidara's hand tightly as he whisked them through the starry sky. His blonde… lover, oh, that word sent joy through him as he thought it, looking at besides him all the while.

Meanwhile on the ground, concealed in the dense forest, Kisame looked up with a smirk on his face and a wine bottle in his hand. After chugging some wine down, he looked up again and said, "If anyone is a wish-granter here, it's me. Now…" He walked off, musing to himself, "I wonder if any of my other friends are in need of some companionship?" He gave a deep chuckle before he disappeared in a flash of blue flame.

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A/N: I told you that I would mention Howl in here. But anyway. As you could probably tell, that last scene with Sasori and Deidara when they were leaving the castle made me horrible for writing, it just seemed so bad! TT

Deidara- What about the part when Danna almost killed me, un?!

TG- Oh stop being a drama queen! You lived, didn't you?

Deidara- Bitch…

TG- Oh, I'm a bitch now, am I? Well then, I think I have another fanfic in me before Halloween. Maybe I'll make this one more tormenting for you!

Deidara- WHAT?! I'm sorry, un! Please don't!

TG- Please read and review.

-Tyranno's girl.