So, this is yet another mpreg fanfiction! I really couldn't help myself. XD After Dear Mello, this idea struck me like a thunderbolt, so here it is! This one will be a two-shot because it ended up being longer than Dear Mello and I thought it would be easier to read if it was split up. Also, I've decided to take a different approach with this story. Most mpregs are about the pregnant guy's relationship with his boyfriend and all the hardships they face. However, since I've done that and seen it done a hundred times, I decided that this story will focus on how they break it to their respective families. Of course there'll be the hardships and relationship between the two, but it won't be the focus. Also, this is a sister piece to Dear Mello so it is AU.
Ugh, forgive me if I'm sounding weird. I'm just exhausted. -dies- But I'd like to add that this story will be dedicated to Panda-chan23. I feel terribly bad about not being able to reply to your wonderful reviews, so please accept this instead. Everyone, please enjoy!
Dear L,
Please get pregnant. At least then
you'll be forced to eat healthy, stand straight,
sit normally, and sleep like a regular person.
Minus the morning sickness, of course.
Love,
Light Yagami
"L, I'm not kidding," Light gritted through clenched teeth. "Give me the damn cookie jar. Now."
The raven-haired man watched Light warily as he put the highly expensive couch between him and his bipolar lover. After all, these were brand new chocolate chip cookies (freshly baked by Mello) and he wasn't planning on handing them over to anybody. Not even a starving child in Africa. They could hunt dung beetles or something.
"Light-chan, I don't think that you are acting as mature as you claim to be," he shot back calmly, prepared to defend his cookies if the need arose.
"You've had over 10,000 calories today," Light reasoned as calmly as he could. "And not a single ounce of that was from something edible."
"If that were an accurate statement, then I wouldn't have been able to consume 10,000 calories. I believe the definition of inedible is "a substance that cannot be eaten or ingested in the human body…'"
Poor Light couldn't take it anymore. He had spent every waking hour with his crazed lover arguing and fighting over everything, and this time he wasn't going to back down, no matter how ridiculous the older man was acting. Light always got what he wanted, and right now he wanted those fucking cookies. Giving into a childish battle-cry, he lunged over the expensive couch to try to get the ceramic jar that housed the diabolical treats. As expected, L dodged the clumsy tackle and returned the sentiment with a back round-house kick to Light's clavicle.
"Gah! Damn it all, L, just give me the fucking cookies!"
"My, my, you have such a potty mouth, Light-chan. Do you kiss your mother with that-" Just as quickly as he started talking, L stopped.
Not hearing L's grating voice, Light looked up in concern. "L? Are you ok?" The British man looked a little queasy as he swayed on his feet, but when he opened his mouth to reply, he promptly passed out. Fainted, really.
"L?!"
~_~_~_~_~_
"Does he have fatal diabetes?!" Light cried as soon as the doctor walked into the hospital room.
She was looking over the papers pinned to her clipboard and shaking her head. When she looked up she wanted to sigh; she could tell that the two in front of her were idiots just by looking at them. "Hello, my name is Doctor Amelia Hawthorne, and I'll be taking care of you today."
"Cut to the chase already!" Light snapped.
"Can I go home yet?" L asked boredly, playing with the edge of his paper gown. "I left the cake in the oven."
Words failed the concerned and furious Asian as he sputtered at his live-in boyfriend. Dr. Hawthorne shook her head again for good measure. "Well, to make this sweet and to the point, no you do not have a fatal condition, Mr., er, Lolipop Lane."
"Ah, that's a relief. Aren't you excited Light-chan?"
"Yes, overjoyed," Light hissed as he glared daggers at L. "The fact that my house is probably burnt to a cinder right now is an inconsequential speck when compared to the fact that you'll still alive. For now."
"I have a few questions for you two before you can leave," Dr. Hawthorne stated. "Once we get this all settled you'll be free to leave."
"Oh good, maybe there's still time to save my…journals." Light nodded his head. Maybe all wasn't lost after all.
"Ok, here we go. When's the last time you two had sex?"
"Oh my gosh!" L squealed in an uncharacteristic way. "How can you say that?! We're brothers."
The woman's face turned a pleasant shade of crimson. "Oh, I thought, well…you know, uh…"
L's face returned to its natural impassive state. "Just kidding. Carry on."
Light rolled his eyes. "Since he refuses to act like the adult he is, I'll answer the questions. Three hours ago."
"E-excuse me?"
"You asked when was the last time we had sex, and I just answered. Three hours ago. Right before the cookie incident."
"Well, how about the time before that?"
"Three and a half hours ago."
"Er, you two get along pretty well, don't you?" she chuckled nervously. "How about, with the exception of the last twenty four hours, when was the last time you had sex?"
Light didn't have to think twice before answering. "Twenty four hours and fifteen minutes."
"You're not one of those crazy fan girls who are trying to get a sex tape from us, are you?" L questioned as he pulled his gown a little further down.
"No! I mean, this is all relevant to your current condition."
L sighed. "Light, I told you that sugar-free strawberry and cream lube was bad for me. See? I've had an allergic reaction to it."
"Oh suck it up," Light hissed. "Besides, you'd be dead by now if you really were allergic to it."
"Do you see how he treats me?" L asked the overwhelmed woman with his puppy eyes.
"Look, you two, I don't know much about your relationship, but I was simply trying to get an idea of the baby's age before letting you know that you're pregnant!"
All was silent for a moment. "Who? Me or him?" L asked pointing to the flabbergasted teenager.
"Who the hell takes it up the ass you sorry excuse for an almost thirty-year-old sugar addicted pedophile?!!" Light screeched.
"No need to be snippy," L huffed. "Besides, I waited until you were eighteen before I let you fuck me."
"Oh, and your shoving your ridiculously big cock up my ass all the times before that was ok?"
"I do recall you screaming for more, Light-chan," L stated. "Besides, seventeen is close enough to eighteen. Just a few months difference."
"Er, I believe that we're drifting," Dr. Hawthorne interrupted. "Mr. Lane, you've tested positive in the pregnancy test."
"What kind of hospital does regular pregnancy tests on men?" Light snapped.
"Under normal circumstances, I would agree with you, but recently there's been a new phenomena sweeping the country…the world really." She shuddered as she thought back to her recent days as a nurse dealing with Mr. Hotstuff and his…wife. The now retired doctor who mentored her had placed her in charge of dealing with all of his patients. Which somehow included pregnant men. "Still, it's good to find these things out soon so that you two can better prepare!"
Staring at his older lover, Light sighed heavily. He had been banging L for a while now, so why was he all of a sudden pregnant? Then again, he had been hanging around with those freak-of-nature "successors" of his and didn't that Mello get pregnant? "Must be something in those chocolate chips," he muttered to himself as L squirmed uncomfortably.
"Can I leave now?" L questioned, looking at his baggy jeans longingly.
The doctor nodded. "Yes, I suppose so. Please make an appointment for an ultrasound in a few weeks so that we can determine how long you've been pregnant."
With a curt nod, Light escorted the doctor out so that L could get dressed. He had a lot to think about.
~_~_~_~_~_
Once they arrived at the house, Light was relieved to see that Near had dropped by and shut off the oven for them. Thus, the house was still intact. Unfortunately, Near was still hanging around. As a matter of fact he was holding up what suspiciously looked like women's lingerie with this thumb and forefinger. He rose his eyebrow at the two adults an tossed it into the laundry hamper where it belonged.
"Can we help you?" Light gritted out. He really needed to have some privacy with L if they were going to figure this pregnancy thing out.
"You cannot, Light Yagami, but L can." Little smart-ass. "L, I was wondering if you could help me with something that has just come up?"
"Of course," L replied, hopping into his favorite overstuffed armchair.
Near sat on the couch across from him and as the two proceeded to carry on with their conversation, Light headed to the shared bedroom and collapsed on the bed. How long had he been in a relationship with the socially retarded, sugar-loving, bastard? Wow, it was close to four years already, and yet they still didn't get along any better than they did all those years ago. If they weren't having steamy pornography-worthy sex, then they were bickering and getting into fist-fights. L loved sugar, he loved a healthy diet. L lazed around all day, he kept up with a strict exercise routine (which took sex into account). L barely slept, he engaged in a healthy nine hours of sleep most of the time. L had terrible posture, he sat straighter than a nun and carried himself with pride that would make a soldier jealous.
"How have we managed to stay together for so long?" he mumbled into the fluffy bed cover. "We're nothing alike."
How on earth could they even consider having a child? There was no way that L would be able to survive a healthy lifestyle for long enough to have the baby and once the baby was brought into this world, how could they raise it? Their current lifestyle was most definitely not conducive to a family atmosphere.
"Hell, what would Mom and Dad say?" he grumbled, trying to imagine a scenario that didn't involve his mother and father fainting. A dad at 21 years of age? Yeah, he was going to be in a lot of trouble.
"Perhaps they would say congratulations?"
The caramel-haired Asian looked over his shoulder at the hunched idiot that he had developed feelings for. Ugh, he was never going to forgive himself. "I highly doubt that, L. My family is a strict traditional Japanese family, and I haven't even told them about living with you yet. If they didn't kill me for sleeping with a man, getting him pregnant is sure to push them over the edge."
L shrugged and sat next to the younger man. "At least you're not the one incubating a fetus."
That stupid comment brought a smile to Light's lips. Sometimes L wasn't that bad. "I suppose you're right. In the worst case scenario, I could always dress you up as a girl when we deliver the news." L wrinkled his nose at the thought but didn't say anything. After all, cross-dressing wasn't exactly something new to him as evidence by their nightly activities. "Eh, I guess it won't be so bad."
Looking up at the textured ceiling, L jutted out his lower lip thoughtfully. "Do you think that we're prepared for having a baby? I mean, it's completely understandable if two adult geniuses couldn't figure out how to survive a pregnancy as well as the responsibility of raising a young child. Women have been doing it for ages, but surely no one would look down on us if we as men couldn't handle it. Matt and Mello are probably exceptions to the rule, though, since they've managed it well enough."
Light bristled at those words. He, Light Yagami with perfect scores and with a brain that Einstein would kill for, not able to figure out something as simple as caring for a baby? Preposterous. L was absolutely right! Women had been doing it for ages! And if someone as stupid as Misa (a woman) could take care of a baby, then why the hell couldn't he?! Besides, no one said that Light couldn't do something. He could bloody hell do anything he wanted to. And surely if the two idiots (Matt and Mello) had managed to have a baby and start raising it without killing each other, surely their superiors (Light and L) could do the same, if not better!
"You know what, L? We can do this. It can't be that difficult."
"Hunh? You really think so?"
"Absolutely! We're the two smartest people in the whole damn planet, and one baby isn't going to beat us!"
Let it never be said that Light wasn't childish or competitive. Or that L wasn't a manipulative jerk.
~_~_~_~_~_
Mello's bar of chocolate fell to the freshly steamed carpet with a thump and Matt lifted up his goggles with his not-in-a-cast-hand to reveal his horror-stricken eyes.
"Uh, say that again?" the gamer asked in a disbelieving tone.
L looked at the two calmly as he slurped down some more coffee-moistened sugar. "I said that I am now pregnant with Light's child." Only the sound of Heath suckling away happily on his bottle filled the room as the two younger boys shared a look. L's eyelid twitched in annoyance. "What, you don't think that I can handle something as basic as carrying a baby?"
Mello stared at his sugary delights spread across the foldable table that was within arm's reach of the world's greatest detective. "Er, it's not that per se…"
"I mean, you did a…great job with us…" Matt tried as he shuddered at the sight of L slurping away happily on his "drink".
"It can't be that difficult," L mumbled. "After all, if Mello can do it, then I can do it."
A vein twitched unhappily on Mello's forehead. "You make it sound like my carrying around this little fucker was an easy thing."
"Tch, tch, tch!" Matt hissed as he pulled his son into his loving arms. "Don't curse like that in front of the baby! We don't want his first words to be 'hell' or 'fuck', right?"
Sigh. "Right."
"We want it to be 'For the Horde!'"
Smack. "Wrong." While Matt nursed his abused head, Mello turned his attention back to his mentor. "Look, I'm not saying that you can't handle a baby, because you can, but I'm saying that you probably wouldn't want to handle a baby."
L just huffed. "I have a fun enough time babysitting Heath when you two want to engage in your S&M private time," he defended.
"I do recall having to take him to the hospital to get the sugar pumped out of him."
"That was once, Mello. Besides, you were the irresponsible one who failed to leave instructions with him."
"Um, kids don't usually come with instructions," Matt stated. "Like, that'd be creepy if they popped out with the baby."
Heath let the bottle drop from his mouth as he watched the adults bickering good-naturedly. It was a good thing that he was a child and couldn't understand anything other than food, comfort, and relieving himself. His tiny hand curled around the soft fur of his father's vest and he babbled a little for attention. Matt looked down and cuddled his baby with a stupid grin on his face. Heath just giggled and snuggled with the decidedly more touchy-feely one of his parents. Mello would just swaddle him or hand him off.
L nibbled his thumb for a moment. It was true that he hadn't been planning on getting pregnant or raising a child with the narcissistic boy named Light, but still, there was nothing he could do about it now. He was not one to waste precious time pondering the "what ifs" and "could haves" when he could be focusing on the problems at hand. Right now, he was pregnant, so all he had to do was come up with the solution. Children didn't come with instructions, but surely there were plenty of books out there and the internet was probably a great place for even more tips and advice.
"I need to do some research," he muttered before swallowing a piece of pumpkin pie whole.
"We can give you the basics now," Mello offered. "First off, you're going to need to cut back on the sugar. You consume enough to kill a toddler."
L never got a chance to defend himself as Matt and Mello continued their little ramble. "Oh, Mello really hated eating fruits, but if you need some sweets, strawberries and such could help out."
"Anyway, you also need a lot of sleep because it's going to wear you out carrying around a kid. It didn't help that Matt had a fucking bad habit of playing his damn games with the volume at level 50."
"And sleeping pills are never a good idea, so don't let that dick, Light, convince you to take any."
"Yeah. Light's a dick. And pills are bad. So, you probably need to get in the habit of sleeping! And it's going to be pretty hard to sit in that weird position when your stomach grows to the size of a watermelon…"
"Mello's got the size of a huge watermelon!"
Smack. "And Matt's got himself a little beer belly because he refuses to get his ass off the floor. At least I had a reason for being fat."
"I don't have a beer belly! Just because it isn't chiseled abs like yours doesn't mean I'm fat!"
Looking down at his own flat stomach, L toned out the bickering couple. They were absolutely right, but he had spent twenty eight years of his life building such wonderful habits, and to quit them now seemed so…sacrilegious. Shuddering, he wondered what kind of nonsense Light was undoubtedly coming up with at this very moment. It probably included things like eating toast or going on walks…
At that very moment, said Light was far too busy to be coming up with a healthy routine for his challenged lover. He was trying to keep his cool while talking to his mother on the telephone.
"So, you're still enjoying America?" she questioned sweetly with a hint of underlying concern. He was only supposed to have been there for one year, but he had kept making excuses for staying. Excuses which were just a cover for his relationship with L.
"Yes! It really is a fascinating place, and I just keep learning all kinds of things!"
"Oh? Like what?"
Like men can get pregnant. "An example would be the widely different ways that the Americans market their products. Can you believe that many people here haven't even heard of manga?"
"That's nice, Light. Are you planning on coming over for the holidays?"
That's right. Ever since that one time he left L alone for the Christmas break, he had swore to never let the older man out of his sight. Their apartment had burned down, L had called his cell phone every five minutes, and the stupid detective had even sent a special forces team to come kidnap him and bring him home. It was a nightmare. Not to mention that his addiction to the sex that was offered by the lanky man was way too strong. It was like crystal meth. "Hmmm, I'm not sure yet, Mom. I'm trying to work out my schedule, but it's a real hassle."
"And you're sure that we don't need to send more money?" she asked worriedly. "I don't want to imagine my poor baby living in one of those dirty motels while he's in college."
Ah, if she only knew what wonders L's money could do. "I'm sure that I'm fine. I've taken extra care of all of the money and I'm living in a decent and clean place. Don't worry so much!" Ugh, he was going to need all the money to take care of baby supplies. Wait, L had more than enough money for that.
"That's my job," she said warmly. "If I don't worry, no one else will!"
"I'm sure Dad worries enough too," he muttered glumly.
"Light? Is something bothering you?" she asked with the knowing tone that mothers are capable of. Her motherly intuition had always been quite keen.
"No, it's nothing," he tried to soothe.
"You can tell me, you know. I want you to know that you can trust me."
"I trust you, Mom! It's not that."
"Then?"
Sigh. She wasn't going to give up. "Well, if I were to meet someone here in America, I'm not sure how I should go about with the relationship."
"Oh!!! Have you found someone?!" she squealed excitedly. "What's she like? Why don't you invite her to spend the holidays with us?"
"Calm down, Mom," he chided. "I didn't say that I found someone. This is a completely hypothetical situation."
"Mmm hmm, ok. Then, I would tell you to invite her to visit the family so that we can get to know her. You're old enough to start dating, Light, and with your looks I'm sure that you won't have any problems. Just make sure that this hypothetical girlfriend is someone that you like."
If only she knew. "Hypothetically, if she was very smart and very attractive but had terrible social skills, how would you feel?"
"Oh, Light, that's no big deal. Social skills can be learned but intelligence and looks are inherent and can't be changed that much. All those crazy American women with fake breasts and faces should be ashamed for distorting what God gave them."
Again, if only she knew. Would she try burning L at the stake for being a man and being pregnant? "Well, I'm glad that that's been cleared up."
"Of course. At least she's not a man, right?" his mother added with a chuckle. Poor Light couldn't even muster the strength to fake-laugh along with her. This was looking to be a lot harder than he could have ever imagined. "Just remember to bring her when you come to visit!"
~_~_~_~_~_
Morning sickness had always been something that L had scoffed at when he heard about it. He had never accepted it as an excuse for missing work from his underlings; after all, it was just throwing up, so what was the big deal? Then again, he had been three the last time he threw up.
Now, he was wondering how much of a heartless bastard he was. Light was rubbing his back comfortingly as he retched again into the cold porcelain bowl. The younger man was still half asleep, but he had been thoughtful enough to wake up to comfort his boyfriend in such a trying moment. The fact that L had to clamber over the said boyfriend to get to the bathroom was irrelevant.
"Are you…better?" Light asked in his eloquent way.
Still panting, L shook his head. His stomach was churning and his head was pounding. Why the hell was this the body's response to a baby?! That's it. It was a sign that children were evil.
"Do you (yawn) want me to skip classes today?"
Catching his breath, L leaned back against the younger man. "N-no. I'll be fine."
Light wrapped his arms around the other and nuzzled against the milky white neck. His tongue peeked out to caress the flesh before his teeth nipped at it. L shuddered in delight before another wave of nausea swirled within him. Leaning away from the warm arms and naughty mouth, he proceeded to finish emptying his stomach.
"I'm calling Watari," Light grumbled as he stood up. "There's no way I'm leaving you alone while you're sick."
"Ugh…I still haven't, uh, told him."
Light paused at the doorway. When he turned to face his pregnant boyfriend, a sadistic smile was curled on his lips. "Well, then, what are you waiting for? Let me know how it all goes!" With that, he was gone. Damn bastard.
Later on in the day, his sentiments hadn't changed much. He had spent most of the day gauging Watari's mood. Peeking around corners, hiding under tables, nowhere was off limits when it came to his detective work. Although Watari was the genuinely gentle and kind person that most people saw, there were a few things that could send Watari into a fit of rage. For example, the bar of soap has to stay on the second self of the shower tower; never the first and most definitely never on the third. L had learned this lesson early on and it stuck with him like the proverbial white on rice. This wasn't the only thing that made him a little wary of approaching the topic of his pregnancy with his caretaker. What was really making him nervous was the fact that when he had told Watari about his relationship with Light, Watari had actually frowned; it wasn't the impassive straight line, or kind chiding frown. No, it had been a full blown, downward curling frown, and in his experience that was never a good sign. However, Watari was an intelligent person, and if L didn't tell him he was bound to figure it out anyway. Then he really would be pissed off. Like, fire spewing, Godzilla stomping, pissed off.
"Watari? There is a matter which I need to discuss with you."
The old gentleman looked up from the kitchen counter that he was wiping down. Good, he was still smiling; he didn't suspect a thing. "Yes?"
Taking a deep breath, L decided to just say it really quickly. "THE BUN IS IN THE OVEN!"
Watari stared at him. "That's fine. Would you like me to get it out?"
L paled and his stomach churned even worse upon receiving that mental image. "Er, no…I think you've got the wrong idea…"
Watari rose an eyebrow as he looked suspiciously at the oven. "L?"
"I'm up the duff."
"What?"
"Gravid." Anyone would be impressed with all the synonyms he was able to find. Unfortunately, his caretaker had never been worried about his charge getting pregnant (or getting someone else pregnant, for the matter) so he had no earthly clue what L was trying to say.
"Are you sick?" he questioned in concern.
"Up the spout."
"Are you using sexual innuendos on me, boy?"
Wincing, he decided to use a British term that Watari was bound to understand. "I…I'm in the pudding club!" he squeaked, making sure that the counter was between them.
For a moment, nothing happened. And then the frown formed. The next few things that happened were completely unexpected, so L just watched with wide eyes. First, Watari turned white, then he turned red, and finally he turned an unhealthy shade of purple. Then he fainted, his head coming in contact with the edge of the counter as he fell.
O.O
~_~_~_~_~_
"Holy crap, he fractured his skull?!" Light screeched at his spazzing boyfriend.
"I didn't do it on purpose!" he cried desperately. "I was just doing what you said! I told him the bun was in the oven but he didn't get it so I had to go through a plethora of related terms and he still didn't get it so I told him and he turned colors and passed out!!"
"You never said that he would act that way! If you did, I wouldn't have trusted you to tell him the damn news!"
"But I didn't know!" And then L did the unthinkable. He began to cry. Large, loud, hiccupping sobs crying.
Light stared at the older man in horror. Not once, had he ever seen L cry; not even when he stole all the candy and gave them to the neighborhood children. Now, the man was sobbing hysterically and holding himself. People from the hospital they were at began to stare and whisper, making the brunette even more uncomfortable.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," he mumbled, pulling L into a hug. "I'm sure that he's going to be fine, so there's no need for hysterics."
"Bu-bu-but!"
"No, it's okay. Shhhh…" Now people were staring, whispering, and blushing. "Let's take this outside for some privacy."
L just followed Light out into the cold winter air, tears running down his face and his sleeve wiping at his running nose. He couldn't even remember the last time he had cried like this, and it was humiliating. All kinds of emotions were bubbling up inside of him and it only made him cry even harder. Light looked more panicky, but he didn't leave L; he just pulled the crying man onto a snow-covered bench. L held out his cell phone, worried that something was seriously wrong with him. He couldn't stop crying!
"Meeelll…(hiccup) Mello (sniff)!"
Light took the hint and grabbed the phone before pressing the speed dial button. Two rings later, and a familiar voice broke through the din of some television show, a wave of gunshots, and dishes being washed. "Who the fuck's calling me?!" A screaming child was thrown into the cacophony.
"Mello, this is Light." Glancing towards his boyfriend worriedly he rushed on before he could be verbally assaulted. "This is an emergency!"
"Shut the fuck up!" Mello screeched. The noise in the background abruptly stopped. "Now what the hell are you talking about Light-post?"
"It's L," he replied as he pulled the crying man into his arms.
"What the fuck did you do to L?! I'm going to kill you! Your mother won't even recognize-"
"Would you just shut up and listen?!" Light snapped. "Watari fainted after L told him the baby news and ended up fracturing his skull and now L's crying and can't stop! He's blubbering like a retarded person at an asylum!"
"Where are you now?" Mello barked.
"The hospital closest to our place."
The tone dial droned almost immediately. Within a few minutes, the loud roar of a motorcycle was heard and Mello came skidding down the road. The ice on the road probably made that a lot more difficult than usual, but the reckless blond managed to keep control of his bike and he parked it quickly. Jumping off the vehicle, he threw down his helmet and ran to his mentor's side. Worry was etched into his face and he shot Light a dirty glare for good measure. Light pulled his arm away from L, and watched as Mello began muttering instructions in some foreign language that he wasn't familiar with. L nodded and continued to hiccup, but after a few minutes he began to calm down. Mello smiled up at him and continued speaking in that weird language while stroking back the unruly raven locks.
Once he was sure that L wasn't going to hyperventilate, Mello turned to the baffled boyfriend. "I'll refrain from insulting you right now, because L probably couldn't take it; don't get used to it."
"What the hell? What happened to him?"
"Damn, you really don't know anything about pregnancies," Mello sighed. "He'll be okay, but he was just experience a flux of hormones. It's normal for pregnant women to go through extreme mood swings which include crying over nothing, but it's even worse for a guy."
Light shook his head. "So, it's just hormones?"
"Yeah. But it's not something he can control, so don't give him shit about out! If you don't take care of him when he needs you, I promise to crush your balls before tearing them off. Then I'll kill you and dump your body into a trash heap."
The look in Mello's eye was anything but a bluff. He was being dead serious. "Well contrary to what you and Near seem to think, I do care about L and I do not treat him badly."
Mello didn't look convinced, but he kept his comments to himself. "It'd probably best to take him home right now. I'll watch over Watari so that you guys can get some rest."
"Thanks." With that, Light gently took L by the shoulders and led him back to their car. Mello spared a final glance at them before rushing into the hospital to make sure that the old fart didn't die on them.
Once they got home, Light made sure to pamper L in every way that he could (minus giving him his regular amount of sugar). He pressed butterfly kisses along the tear streaked face and rubbed the cold pale feet. Light even went out of his way to make hot chocolate with marshmallows for the poor man. Watching the young Asian bustle about nervously, L felt himself well up with love. It didn't matter what anyone said; he was madly in love with Light Yagami and he was happy to be carrying their child. When Light brought the steamy mug of chocolate goodness, L was able to crack a wavering smile and mutter a broken "thank you".
~_~_~_~_~_
"So you're the one who knocked up L."
Light sweatdropped as he stared at the stern old man sitting up in his hospital bed. There were bandages around Watari's head, but he didn't look any less intimidating. "Yes, sir. Unless L's been cheating on me. Which I doubt."
Watari's face didn't change at all. "I don't like you very much, Yagami. I haven't from the beginning." Ouch. "However, L seems to like you for some unknown reason."
"Considering that he's carrying my baby, I'd say that his feelings are a little more than 'like'," he thought to himself. L just remained by his side, squeezing his hand nervously.
"Do you love L?" Watari asked firmly.
Light spared a glance at his lover's worried face and squeezed his hand back gently. "Yes, I love L, Watari-san." A blush danced daintily across L's cheeks making Light smile honestly. L wasn't just another fling or a means of relieving his boredom. He loved L with all his heart.
A smile broke across Watari's face making both of the young men start. "That's good."
"Eh?" Okay, the both of them were officially lost. He was actually smiling?!
"Although I still don't like you very much, I'm just glad that L found someone that he could share his life with. L's a difficult person to be around, bless his soul, but that didn't mean that I just wanted to hand him off to the first nincompoop who wanted to run off with him."
"…So, you're fine with all this?"
"Absolutely. Who wouldn't want to be a grandpa to the most intelligent baby ever born?"
L and Light shared a frightened look. If they thought that he had been a strange father to L, he was going to be a terrifying grandfather. "Maybe we shouldn't have told him," Light muttered as the old man chuckled way too cheerily.
Author's Notes: I'm not quite sure what to say about this. My brain's dead from how long it took to write this. XD It was a lot of fun, though. Please review and let me know what you think, and I'll put up the next chapter the day after tomorrow. And remember, feel free to point out any mistakes you might find.