Jim let out a deep breath as he lay on his back staring at the ceiling. He had gone to sickbay when his shift was over and then gone back to the room he shared with Spock. A tear fell as he replayed the conversation he'd had with Bones in his head.

"I'm sorry, Jim," McCoy said, a hand resting on Jim's shoulder.

"There's nothing you can do?" Jim asked, forcing his voice to stay level. "All the advanced medicine and there's no cure for this?"

"Not yet, no," McCoy answered, sadness evident in his voice. "But you can bet your ass I'll work as hard as I can to find one."

"I appreciate it, Bones," Jim said with a small smile. "So... how long until..."

"It's hard to say. A couple of months? Four at the most, but it could be as little as one month, Jim."

"Right," Jim said, taking a deep breath to try and remain calm. He stood up and McCoy stepped back to allow Jim to pass.

"I'll figure something out, Jim," McCoy promised.

"I know you'll try, Bones, and there's no one else I'd rather have working on this, but even you're not a miracle worker."

"You have to stay optimistic, Jim," McCoy said.

"Yeah, right," Jim said distractedly. "I'll see you later."

"Jim, wait," Bones stopped him as he was about to walk out the door. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm feeling really tired, so I'm just going to go to bed," Jim answered, without looking at Bones.

"That's not what I meant."

"I know. I don't know what I'm going to do, Bones." Jim left without ever looking back.

So he'd come back to go over his options and came up with what he thought was the best one. He stood up and walked over to the dresser, willing his hands to stop shaking as he pulled open the drawer to reveal his uniforms. He wiped away another tear before pulling out everything that belonged to him and setting it on the bed. He was about to walk to the closet and grab a bag to throw it all in when he heard the door open from behind him. He took a deep breath before turning around. It was now or never.

"Jim?"

"Spock."

"What are you doing?" Spock asked and though it would have been damn near impossible for anyone else to see, Jim noticed the confusion on Spock's face.

"I'm packing my stuff," Jim said simply before turning back around and going to the closet for a bag.

"I do not understand," Spock said and it took all Jim had not to turn around because he knew the moment he did he would break down.

"This isn't going to work out," Jim said, removing the bag from the closet and moving back to the bed without turning around.

"May I ask what brought this on?" Spock asked and Jim picked up on the slight emotion in his voice.

"I've just been thinking and I realized this isn't what I want. I mean, I'm Jim Kirk, I don't do commitment. Surely you didn't really believe that I'd be able to be faithful to just one person for the rest of my life?"

"But you are the one who proposed the idea of this relationship," Spock stated. Jim kept his back turned as he threw his belongings into the bag as quickly as possible.

"Yeah, must have been out of my mind," Jim said, fighting the tears that were threatening to fall. "But hey, it was fun while it lasted, right? And don't worry, you can keep this room, I'll just move into your old quarters so I don't inconvenience you."

"I still don't understand what..."

"It's simple, Spock, I changed my mind. Human's do that. Just another illogical thing we do, I suppose. We're not as inclined as Vulcan's to mate forever." Jim zipped his bag up and took a deep breath, willing his tears back, before turning around.

"Jim..."

"I did love you, if that helps. I hadn't lied to you." iNot before just now,/i Jim thought. He walked over to Spock until he was standing right in front of him. He leaned forward and kissed him briefly on the lips, his heart breaking when Spock didn't reciprocate at all.

"I'm sorry," Jim said before leaving the room. He quickly made his way through the hall to where his new room would be and ignoring all the people giving him weird looks as he passed hurriedly with all the belongings he could fit into one bag. When he reached the room he punched in the access code before walking in, throwing the bag onto the bed and stumbling over to the bathroom. He barely made the toilet before emptying the contents of his stomach and allowing himself to cry.

This is what's best, he tried to convince himself as he stood up and cleaned his face at the sink. More tears fell that he didn't bother to wipe away as he stumbled towards the bed.

"This is best," he said out loud as if it would make it fact. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep. He wasn't lying to Bones earlier, he really had been tired, but now he was exhausted. It took awhile, but he eventually fell into a fitful sleep.