Title: Stupid Ice Cream Truck

Fandom: Reboot!StarTrek (2009)

Pairing: Spirk (Spock/Kirk)

KUDOS TO A TEACHER IN MY SCHOOL WHO ACTUALLY DID THIS. Credit to him for the story, I just added Spock and Jim to it with my friend because when we heard him explain the story we thought of the same exact scenario at the same time.

WARNINGS: HERE THERE BE YAOI. Also, I used the word "sex" at the end. If you can't handle reading that word, get off this page.

A thunk was heard as Spock pushed Jim against the door to their apartment. Jim pulled Spock against him and clawed at his first officer's back. Spock's hands were gentle as he angled Jim's chin up for that perfect angle to kiss his mate as his other hand explored down the golden shirt and back up with a flawless twist of his Vulcan hand. The impatient Terran turned the doorknob to his right while kissing his lover feverishly. The long, warm fingers trailed slowly around to catch Jim before he fell through the now opened door. In a single fluent motion Spock swept Jim off his feet and, after kicking the door shut nonchalantly, he carried Jim over to the bed (kicking their boots off as they went) and continued to kiss his lover after laying him gently onto the white-sheeted mattress.

Jim mewed slightly as Spock lightly traced up his shirt and only broke their kiss so Spock could remove the cloth. Spock carried on with kissing Jim while Jim clumsily attempted to take off Spock's shirt as elegantly as he did. Spock found it illogical to wait for Jim to be the one to take it off so he stretched up from leaning over his lover and removed his shirt himself. His skin was taut over the flexing muscles from the simple maneuver. Jim clawed softly at Spock's sides begging him to return his lips to their rightful place. The Vulcan did as he was silently asked and was welcomed with by his lover's arms wrapping around his neck pulling him closer. Just as Spock's hands were at the waistband of Jim's black uniform pants…

Lala la la la. La la lalalalala…

Spock stops mid-kiss over Jim's naval. His ears twitch.

Lala laa laa laa lala laa laa laa…

Spock whips his head up to glare stoically at the wall behind their bed's headboard.

La la laa laa laa lalalalalalala la lalalalalalalalalalalalala.

He straightens his back and turns his head towards the window which is over-looking the entire apartment complex. Kneeling to get a better look out of the window, Spock asks sternly, "What…is that… hideous sound?"

Jim, thoroughly confused as to why his beautifully striking Vulcan currently straddling him is not kissing the life out of him, answers with the question, "What sound?" The question could have been misheard through Jim's lack of breath.

The tune starts up again. Spock's eyes slant in irritation.

"You cannot honestly say that you do not hear it." Spock states while glaring out the window.

"Honestly I don't understand why you care more about hearing that stupid ice cream truck rather than my moans in your ear."

"That… what?" Spock looks blankly at Jim, but the Terran understands that Spock genuinely doesn't know what an ice cream truck is.

"An ice cream truck. It rides through areas that have a bunch of kids in them and sells ice cream treats to kids during the summer for profit."

With a blink of acknowledgment and a single look back through the window, Spock removes himself from the bed and starts redressing.

"S-Spock?! Where are you going?!"

Jim hurriedly puts his shirt back on and follows Spock out of their apartment. He jogs lightly to catch up to Spock as the Vulcan walks determinedly to the elevator at the end of the hall. Jim slides in and clings lightly to the Spock's arm as Spock presses the button for the first floor.

"Spock, what's wrong? If you want some ice cream, all you had to do was say so!"

"That is not my reasoning for these actions, Jim."

A ding announces their arrival and Spock walks out with Jim holding onto Spock's sleeve. Sounds of joy erupt from the children of the apartment complex and they all line up to wait to be served by the ice cream truck. Spock's ears continue to twitch as the horrid noise is forced through his eardrums.

"Wait here." Spock demands quietly.

"But-" Jim is cut off as Spock kisses his forehead. "I will only be a minute."

Jim didn't get why he had to stay but did as he was told. He pouted slightly.

"I want ice cream…"

After all the children had received their ice cream, Spock approached the ice cream truck's attendant.

"Hey buddie! Aren't you a little old to be buying from ice cream trucks now?" The man snickered.

"Are you not a little too old to be selling these treats to children…" Spock kept the thought to himself. He reached into his back pocket for his wallet and took out a $20 bill.

He looked angrily into the attendant's eyes. "Never come here again." He handed the $20 to the man.

Jim had to stifle the loud "HAH" that threatened to escape with his hand as it caught in his throat.

The man smiled greedily and answered with a jovial, "Alrighty then!" and sped off cackling. The kids watched blankly as the truck drove away then looked up at Spock. Spock returned his wallet to his pocket then turned around to face the children. He kept his face completely straight and serious and pointed to them scoldingly.

"Ice cream is bad for you."

Jim burst out laughing in the background as all the children looked at their ice cream with blank looks.

Spock returned to his friend who was currently lacking in oxygen intake. He put his arm around Jim's waist and walked towards the elevator to return to their room. Jim was still laughing when they got to the door and finally caught his breath as they went through.

"That had to be one of the best-" Spock picked Jim back up and resumed their earlier removal of clothing.

Jim chuckled as Spock removed his and Jim's shirt.

"What is so funny Jim?" Spock asked as he lifted Jim's shirt over the blonde's head.

Jim shook his head with a beautiful grin on his face. "I love you!" He laughed quietly as Spock bent back over him in their prior position. Spock kissed Jim's forehead and smiled only the slightest bit, only enough for Jim to see.

"I love you my T'hy'la." The Vulcan kissed those soft Terran lips and was welcomed again by those warm, begging arms.

AND THEN THEY HAD SEX. THE END. C:

EDIT: I'd like to note that my teacher is not gay and was watching a movie/show while the ice cream truck annoyed him to the point where he paid the guy to leave. (The ice cream truck tortured him for weeks before he actually went and did this.)