Chapter XXIX

Away from Civilization

The halls were absolutely deserted. My tentative steps became nervously confident when I found ten consecutive rooms from my cell empty. Cloth hanging on the wall served as simple barriers between rooms in most cases. In fact, the cell door was one of the only doors I saw in the entire fortress. The rest of the wooden doors I found, I didn't dare to open.

My steps came to an abrupt halt at the archway of a great stoa. It was roofed, but the walls were replaced with a hypostyle colonnade. Tentatively, I stepped to one wall and looked across the way to peer through the columns. From there, I could see a sheer cliff face, carved into an image of a woman with her arms outstretched to the figure of a baby boy, nude. Letters and other obscure shapes rendered themselves faintly on the torch- and moon-lit stone. There was more, but my vision was obstructed. The mural wasn't anything I cared about anyway: what I cared about was that no one was there to see me.

I peered around the corner beyond the hall ahead. It was only then that I realized how high up I was: the hall ahead was a bridge between two buildings. I was looking down about three stories to the dark sand below. I could see a faint glow west from where I was. I could hear metal clashing together and the constant roar of a crowd. I saw no one.

My luck was incredible. I didn't like that.

I ran ahead and through the fortress, but the farther I got the slower I had to go. It wasn't long before I was completely cloaked in darkness and forced to take small, cautious steps to avoid falling down stairs and running into walls. I spent far too long considering going back to find a torch. I pressed on regardless. It would likely be better to stay in the shadows anyway.

I kept an ear on the sound of the audience, but between distance and stone the sound muffled to nothing — and the harder I tried, the louder my heartbeat became. I pushed aside as much worry as I possibly could and focused on my footing.

The fortress is a maze. I can't understand how Gerudo children don't go missing in their own home.

I stepped out one door into the cold night air — but I was still two floors too high with no visible way down. I backtracked and focused on finding another set of stairs.

Another door — but this one was boarded up. I only stopped trying to open it when a small stream of sand started pouring through. I was below ground. With a groan, I backtracked again.

I desperately begged for windows to appear, but it was room after room and arduous, anxious minutes of wandering before I realized I had been turned around.

I finally, I found an exit to take me to the desert floor. I would have sung my prayers to the sky or kissed the sand, but the nearby firelight, dancing shadows, and elated din reminded me of myself. I crept to the shadows and kept near buildings while I sidled around walls and walkways.

The fortress is huge. I remember images of it in Ocarina of Time, but they don't compare. There were several buildings attached to each other via overpasses and bridges, and the buildings formed a more "town-esque" feel with streets and alleys. I was expecting an expanse of sand to guide me away from the complex…. I guess the thought in retrospect is laughable.

The layout, thankfully, turned out to be a grid-like structure. Nothing like the chaos that was Boston — or the interior of the fortress for that matter. I was able to direct myself east for the most part and proceed, but it felt like hours of moving, even though there was no wind to fight. Exhausted arms begged to rest, achy feet pressed on. Perhaps it was a trick of the light, but I felt a twinge of fear as the dark blue sky lightened ever so subtly upon the eastern horizon.

Please don't let the morning come!

This became a subconscious mantra.

The fortress is a collection of varying rock types and colors the closer to the center you get. As you move to the outskirts, thought, the colors gradually change to match the valley walls so that, when you look at it from above, it looks like it is simply an outcropping of the cliff-face. For those few who do spot it from afar, it looks far smaller than it actually is. Similarly, visitors were usually deep within the city boundaries before they knew they arrived.

The opposite is true for anyone inside the city moving out. It seemed to me the stone fortress extended forever and a half away, and I would never find the end of it. I don't have a clue how far outside the city I was before I realized the fortress had ended. The valley had narrowed to scarcely fit a couple wagons side by side such that they scraped each other as they passed by, and I rounded one corner at least before it dawned on me — not the sun, thank goodness, but the truth of the matter.

I spun around to get a good look at my surroundings. There wasn't much to see, but my fear melted into unbridled joy. I held Lily close to my chest and spun in place like I was dancing with her. I didn't even hear my laughter. Lily stirred, but she was so exhausted she wouldn't have woken to the roar of a monster —

Nor the sound of a low but clear horn coming from the west. My body wrenched to face the west and my eyes focused on any movement they could find. No one was there, not yet, but a long trail of fresh, distinct footprints rounded the corner into the fortress and stopped where I stood. If anyone had any sort of tracking skill — which was a doubtless fact — I was in huge trouble.

I turned toward Hyrule Proper and ran, brainstorming ways I could erase the footprints and make our escape sound. I just needed to get to a village before the Gerudo found me. In a village, I could explain the situation and ask for an escort!... if they even believed me — if they even understood me.

I shook the negative thoughts away. I couldn't afford to slow for anything. Curve after curve of the cliff-face passed by, and I wondered if the hopelessness of distance was just something that came with a desert. Link never spent so long… besides in Breath of the Wild, I suppose, but there was scaffolding to offer new routes. There would have been other Hylians and—

A distant white noise.

Perhaps wind? I didn't feel anything….

I looked up: nothing to suggest airflow up there either.

I pressed on.

Finally, the path widened and quickly opened into a landing. Cliff edges high above curved outward into a ceiling for the valley, held up by long curves of rock extending down into pillars. Images and designs were carved into the surface, but were otherwise naturally created.

And on the far end — I could almost see it, but I could definitely hear it — a waterfall roared! That was it! I could see the bridge too! I wanted my pace to pick up in excitement, but somehow it managed to slow. The ground began rumbling beneath me.

A stumble in hesitation — then a second.

Would the bridge hold? Rope suspensions, log beams and old, wooden planks were the only things that made up the bridge. And the closer I got, the more the chasm ahead widened.

Just keep moving, one step at a time. Don't think, just go. There ahead I could see a hazy line in the sand where the moon could shine beyond rock above. I ignored my aching lungs. I ignored the pounding of my heart, and I tried so desperately to ignore the rumbling that grew.

Something grabbed my left arm and yanked me to the side. A wave of panic and anger overtook me. Lily's weight firmly held in my left arm, I spun around with my right fingers curling into a fist and threw my weight into a punch.

It never landed. The arm holding Lily was held tight in one strong grasp and the fist in the other. I struggled to pull away, hardly recognizing or caring that the figure was a woman's.

"Samantha — stop! You took too long to leave. They're going to catch up to you." Her voice was hurried, but quiet.

I looked at her a moment, confused. How could she — the mysterious attendant! She knew I was going to — "Let go! I'm so close, I can see it!"

"No, you can't. He will pursue you through Hyrule Field and you would need to reach a town before he would give up… if then. The next town is a day and a half's ride out. And you, on foot...? You'll never make it. Not with her." She nodded to Lily.

I paused and looked closely at her. For a moment — before she masked it — she had a look of regret and sorrow… but there was no frustration, no anger, nothing of the sort directed toward me. It was only then that I processed what she had said before. "What do you mean, I 'took too long to leave?'"

She closed her eyes and sighed. Then I understood;

When she told me to keep Lily awake all day so she'd sleep at night and that it would make travel quieter, when I didn't hear her leave, when she insisted on making sure I had what I needed that evening, when she wished me successful travels, she was planning this the whole time. She didn't mess up. She left the door open on purpose. She did everything she could to make this work… and I screwed it up.

I relaxed my fist and blinked — just to make sure she wasn't a figment of my imagination. "Why are you doing this? Why—"

"There's not time enough to explain. What I can tell you is this:" her evening-byzantium brows hung over stern eyes, and they got her point across. "You have an incredibly difficult decision to make. You'll either stay and go with both your child and our king through the Haunted Wastes, or" she paused, either to find the right words or add emphasis, "you will leave Lily behind and attempt escape on your own."

"What?!"

"She will burden your escape. You do not have—"

"No!" If I stayed, the punishment for this stunt would be… I didn't want to think about it. Leaving Lily… he could do just as much damage to her just because she's my daughter. I couldn't leave her to that! I couldn't lose my second child, not so soon. "There has to be another way."

"There is no other way, and if you don't make your decision soon, your decision will be made for you." It wasn't particularly threatening, but the point was clear—

—and even clearer with the increasing rumble. Even so, agreeing to Lily's capture was horrific. "I can't leave her — not with him! I still remember what he's done to me," what he's done to us, "I can't let him do that to her!"

"If you give her to me, he will not punish her for your mistakes. There would be no point. As far as she's concerned, he won't believe you care."

My chest tightened and a tiny, though terrible whimper escaped me. "No… I couldn't…"

With a heave of her shoulders, she sighed. "Well, I suppose it has been a good run, then. You got a look at the Fortress's ins and outs, you have seen the world he rules and even been taught by him. Now all of that will be stored safely in the Desert Colossus where you will likely live out the rest of your life…." she said more, but I didn't hear it.

Goodbye hopes, goodbye dreams, goodbye Jake, Samson, Chelsea and all the others. I took a swift breath and weighed my options as she began turning me away from the bridge, back toward the fortress. You know, I told myself, If you escape, there will be time to come back. There would be the option to find Jake and Samson, there would be time to tell the Hylian King, there would be time to come back and save Lily. It would take time… but I would have options. And Lily… if I do it fast enough, she may never remember the time she spent here….

I yanked backward and pulled myself, Lily, and the willing Gerudo back behind one of the carved columns. "No, I'll…" I choked on the words before repeating them audibly, "I'll leave her behind…." I did not meet her gaze, and I didn't let the thought sink in: second guessing, regret, and sorrow needed to follow later. I was looking at sleeping Lily. She slept so soundly, despite everything. She was so serene and beautiful, like a fairy. I remembered Grover, and the necklace I got from him. I reached into my pocket — it was one of the only possessions I was allowed to keep — removed it and placed it around her neck. I smiled lightly, lifted her and kissed her in my embrace. "I'm leaving her, but I'm leaving her with you, not with him. And I'll be back for her." One, last kiss. "I promise."

I looked at the woman, but now I had resolve and certainty in my own eyes. From my extended arms, she took Lily in her own. She smiled, but I could tell it was half-hearted. "I will take good care of her and raise her strong and well."

I almost smiled. "I hope you don't get the chance."

At about that moment, the rumbling became clearer. It sounded less like a mass rumble and more like beating. "If you are going, you must go now!"

I nodded and ran. I needed something to focus on — the bridge! The bridge was there, it was only fifty meters away now! Thirty! Twenty! Ten—

A great, gold and black coruscating expanse formed between me and the bridge: a barrier. I stumbled and slammed into it with residual momentum. With a desperate, angry cry, I threw my fists at the wall before turning myself around to weigh my dwindling options. There was the attendant with Lily—but the beating was what took my attention. There must have been fifteen or twenty of them on horseback, galloping toward the bridge. The leader of them all, riding in front locked furious eyes with mine.

They were still some distance away. I looked around me. I didn't really have anywhere else to go, but I couldn't will myself to stay put, so I ran from the barrier along the edge of the chasm. Far below, a wide and ruthless river ran me by. Lower Zora River… that should lead out to Lake Hylia… and Lake Hylia should be well populated….

The valley floor abruptly steepened to a wall. The beating roared around me until it faded to a rumble. Another look around me — and I was surrounded. The riders formed a quarter circle, filling the free space between the chasm and the valley wall. They crowded so tightly together, it was a surprise their horses remained as calm as they did. I glanced behind me at the river below. There wasn't an inch between my heel and the edge.

"You have nowhere to go."

I faced him. "That seems to be your fault, doesn't it?"

He dismounted with a growl, but he did not approach. Others followed suit. "You have toyed with my temper quite enough today. Come to the fortress with me now, or I will tether you to my horse and drag you back across the desert sand!"

I couldn't help but shiver. It would appear maternity leave had ended….

I couldn't respond, but I didn't need to: "Where is Lily?" When I didn't respond to the demand, his eyes narrowed. I wanted to scream at him. You're blaming me for being a bad mother? How about you for being an all-around awful person?!

"My King!" a voice called from beyond the crowd. "My King, I have the child." The red-headed, horse-inclusive crowd parted to allow Lily's attendant through, closing tightly behind her.

Ganondorf's frustration was still evident, but his voice softened when speaking to her. "Nabooru… where was she?"

Wait—Nabooru?! Her name is Nabooru?! She was being so accommodating… was that because she hates the man who ruled her? This couldn't be the same Spirit Sage… no way….

I examined her once more, and she certainly looked in every way the part of the Spirit Sage… but a brief glance to the others reminded me that they all did. With the exception of the Gerudo King himself, they all looked much like the red-headed, dark-skinned, and well-toned figure developed in 1998. Given the angularity of Ocarina of Time as a whole, though, I could neither figure nor assume more than that.

"I found her under the shadow of the Hewn Pillars of Furosa. She's soundly asleep, no clear harm or distress plagues her." She smoothed Lily's hair over her head lovingly. My daughter lay there so comfortably. I wanted so much to reach out and take her back into my own arms, despite the ache they now felt. I remembered what Nabooru had said about living the remainder of my life in the desert, trapped and as much owned by the Desert King as I could be. No. There would be time.

Ganondorf's attention fell on me once more. "You left your child for dead?!"

The assumption shocked me. "Of course not—" he didn't let me explain.

"Your son is fortunate I separated you from him. With treachery like this, you don't deserve to be a mother." His words stung with cruelty, but something in the tone of his voice told me he wasn't just trying to anger or hurt me; the words he spoke were true for him. I didn't want to care, but I did anyway: I was infuriated.

"Y-you— I was leading you away! I set her down somewhere I knew I could find her, but I couldn't get away with her in my arms—I was not deserting her!" I managed to avoid the aching steps toward him and the enraged slap across the face I deeply desired to give him. But I knew if I stepped into arm's reach, they would be the last steps I would take of my own accord.

"The privilege to care for this child has been forfeit. Lily will remain here, raised in the desert, and you will be sent to the Colossus without her."

That was it. In an instant my heart grew cold and my choice made clear; even if I were to stay here in the desert, i would never be with Lily. I didn't trust myself to find my way back through the Haunted Wastes on my own, so if I ever wanted to see her again, I would have to leave her now.

Lily was outside of my reach.

The demon turned from me and looked at Nabooru. He was speaking to her, but I didn't hear him. My mind fell blank, and the throbbing of my heart tensed to a dull ache between my lungs. There was nothing anyone could have done to scare or hurt me more than I had been at that moment, not even if they shoved me over the canyon ledge….

I closed my eyes and hung my head. I felt the rush of wind behind me, dragged down-stream in a turbulent, foamy path. I took a deep breath of this air—sweet and fresh—and let my weight rock from the pads of my feet, to the heel, and beyond. The wind rushed at me, growing ever stronger and as I opened my eyes the figures who had only been mere feet away grew farther and farther. It was incredible how small they got, and how the roar of the wind and water silenced the gasps and cries I saw in their features.

I held my breath, knowing full and well if I released it I may never breathe another. Ganondorf turned with a look of shock that was swiftly replaced with absolute fury.

My back met the water's broken surface with such force I lost all the breath I held. Engulfed and winded in the swift darkness, I panicked. My eyes searched frantically for the surface—moonlight, stars above, the King's magic—anything—

I chanced upon the surface but only for a moment before the current dragged me under again—I barely realized it soon enough to replenish the air I lost, and with the frenzied attempt, I nearly filled my lungs with water instead.

I was underwater for longer that time. I managed to stay upright despite the turbulent waters. The river three was incredibly deep for one of its width. I did not brush the bottom, and the suffocating weightlessness made everything that much more surreal.

I broke the surface again, this time for much longer. The river calmed a bit and I was able to get my breath and my bearings. I was drifting south… so from there west would be…. I looked up.

Down in the river I was still shrouded in the shadow of dawn, but the Gerudo and their King were just kissed by the morning light. Despite this, I couldn't make out details; I was too far away. Ganondorf's fury was radiant, however, and no amount of distance could conceal that from me, but it really wasn't him I was concerned about in that moment. From the rushing water I could barely make out the sleeping form of Lily, tucked carefully in Nabooru's arms. It was the first time I had seen her in the sunlight. She was so serene amid the chaos, and I longed desperately to be with her.

I was dragged around a bend in the canyon, and my line of vision was obstructed. I wanted to move across the river, if only to gleam one more sight of her before I was gone… but I was too exhausted.

Free falling. Water rushed down with me as it turned to mist in a roar—but over the roar of the water I heard the roar of another. A thunderous, demonic roar sounded through the valley, one I know was heard by more than just me.

The roars were simultaneously interrupted with another concussive blow to my back. Bubbles and current moved noisily around me in a frenzy, though I managed to hold my breath this time. Even so, it was not enough to pull me to the surface by itself. My body careened down the river, brushing and bumping against the shallower rocky bottom. The strangest part was when I heard a terrible sound like somebody slamming two rocks together underwater, because in that instant my head kicked involuntarily toward my chest. The sound was pitched high and deafening… and a bone-rattling rumble accompanied it. My head reverberated until a dull ache pounded through my skull.

By the time the ache came, though, everything had gone dark. The ache barely lasted a moment before leaving me completely alone in the void.

Sorry for the wait: real life happened a bit. But I'm still going, and I'm feeling pretty confident in a regular-ish posting :) The next few chapters are leaving Sam in the void, just a heads up! I always love your thoughts!

Writerswand: I know, my husband and I can't decide... My story was supposed to be, you know, post apocalyptic, not a decent alternative :P