AN:

The Twilight saga and all characters therein belong to Stephenie Meyer.

This is my first ever fanfic. This is told from Bella's POV, and picks up during her honeymoon with Edward during the Isle Esme/Distractions chapters. I felt strongly that Bella missed out on a lot of the struggles in Breaking Dawn that she experienced in the first three books, so I am writing it based on how I would want the saga to go. Jacob is my favorite character of the series, so be warned if you are a Jacob-hater and/or Breaking Dawn ending lover.

Starving

I lay back, unfazed. Nothing could bring me down from this high. I was here, on my honeymoon, in the most picturesque locale I could fathom, lying next to my sleeping Adonis of a boyfriend- wait, no, husband. Well, technically he wasn't sleeping per se, but he was playing along well enough. He was flat on his stomach, his arms at his sides, head facing away, chest slowly rising and falling as he breathed entirely for my benefit. He was stark naked, a soft white sheet strategically draped around his marble-like backside- he had even mastered the eyelash flutter of a deep dreamer. Looking at him made my heart hurt.

So what if my ultimate plan for last night had not come entirely to fruition? It only gave me more to look forward to. We had loads of time, here on this stranded, deserted island. We had days, even weeks without distraction, which was all the time in the world. An even greater realization hit- we were married, we really did have all the time in the world. I laughed. I felt rested after a long and peaceful night's sleep, relaxed, all tension from the wedding and travel gone. The cottage was warm, but breezy, and I was lying next to my own personal air conditioner. I couldn't keep the smile off of my face. I was in heaven.

"How long am I to keep up this little charade, love?" Edward inquired in his sweet velvet voice. "You know that I don't get even remotely tired."

"Edward, sleeping naked and cuddling in the morning is what married couples do…" I started to reply, giggling and giddy.

Edward twisted his head toward me, half opened his eyes. "And what's next? A New York Times crossword puzzle? Am I going to have to force down coffee and bacon and orange juice? You know that we're not a normal married couple, silly girl," he teased, reaching out to lightly stroke my hair. The coolness of his skin radiated outward, pure heaven on the back of my neck. It gave me chills.

"I'm not so sure I would warrant the term girl after everything that happened last night, Edward," I said with a smile, "and if you would have let me finish, I would have been sure to say that this is what married couples do 'on their honeymoon', not necessarily 'on a typical Sunday morning'".

I suppose I might have been deceptive in my words; I was still a girl in many ways. I had seen more of Edward last night than I had ever seen of him before, things definitely…. progressed…. closer to what I ultimately wanted. But when it came down to it, Edward just couldn't- go through with things. He was too terrified of hurting me, and instead he held me in his arms and kissed my face and whispered in my ear that he loved me, and to be patient. What else could I say? I was disappointed in the moment, but I knew things took time. I smiled to myself at how long it took for him to first kiss me, how hesitant he was that first time. We were long past that now. Practice makes perfect, mind over matter…

"Wow, you do the New York Times crossword puzzle on a typical Sunday morning? I'm impressed," said Edward, interrupting my train of thought. He rose up a bit, resting on his elbow.

"How about we try what I would like to start doing on a typical Sunday morning?" I said playfully, lunging the six inches that separated us and grabbing forcefully at the sheet, ready to tug. He looked utterly gorgeous; the white sheet made his pale skin appear even more flawless. Edward raised his hands in surrender. I took advantage of his defenseless position to grab his wrists and pin them above his head as I straddled his hips. Though this was intended to be a fluid motion, I managed to accidentally knee Edward in the groin and bang his wrists into the headboard. He laughed softly.

"Bella, I don't know which part of you frightens me the most," he chuckled.

I brought my face down very close to his, licked my lips and then slowly ran my tongue over his lips as well. "I think you should be most frightened about what I am about to do to you," I said. I managed to say it without even cracking a smile. Amazingly enough, my horniness and desperation were starting to overcome my self-consciousness. Thank God.

His expression changed, became serious. His eyes widened. "Bella…."

I shifted both of his wrists into the grip of one of my hands, knowing full well how little they truly restrained him, and started kissing his neck intensely while moving my other hand back to that damned persistent sheet. Started pulling downward….

"Bella….."

"Bella….. I'm so sorry," said Edward, coming up from behind me to spoon me. I lay on my side, gripping the sheet tightly around me, staring off into space. I took a few deep breaths, centering myself.

"Edward, I understand. You are afraid of losing control. I am just…..frustrated," I sighed reflexively.

"Bella, you are the sexiest woman I have ever met, and I will please you a thousand times over when the time comes," he murmured into my ear smoothly, softly, holding one of my hands, gently caressing my face and hair. "Just please, be patient, love. Trust me, you will understand."

"When the time comes? Edward, when is that? What could be a better time than this?" I tried to keep my voice even.

"Not today, Bella, not today. Soon. I promise. Be patient." He was still spooning me and put his hand on my waist, at the same time that my stomach growled involuntarily. "Wow, you sound hungry. Let's get up and I'll cook you a delicious breakfast. What do you say? Coffee? Bacon? Orange juice?"

I sighed again, sat up and stared at him, and then slowly gave him a half-grin. "I'm starving."