I know you have heard it before. This is my first fanfic. Yadda, yadda, we don't need the boring details of who, what, when, where, or why.

I want to thank my totally awesome betas, Spellboundagain and Allysue08. My fic needed more meat—and no, I don't mean Edward's meat—and they helped make it possible.

FYI, yes, I know this moves fast, there is a reason for that. Please read my summary ;)

SM owns these characters. I own the computer that steals them…er borrows them *grin*

*Also, I am in the process of re-working these chapters. It's gonna take a while, but this is why some chapters have titles and some do not (and some are horribly awful and some are just a little less awful, lol)*

Ben and Jerry and Josh

BPOV

"God! I am so freaking horny!"

Without even looking up from painting her nails, Rose said, "Sorry, hun, as much as your dripping delta probably tastes divine, I'm not a vagitarian, strictly penivore. You are on your own."

"Rose!" I laughed. "Like I wanted your help! I don't want you anywhere near my pearly panty gates! I'm just craving some meat—I'm sick of taking matters into my own hands…literally."

"Hey, you're the one who suggested us taking a break from bumping uglies, so quit your complaining."

Suddenly, the front door swung open and we heard, "Hey hoes! Get your lazy asses up and help me with these bags!" Of course Alice would have her hands full of bags. When did she ever leave the house and not return with at least 5 shopping bags?

"Sorry, Spunky Brewster, nails are wet. Did you remember the Chunky Monkey?" Rose asked with a look that clearly said, don't mess with me or you will go right back to the store.

"Like I would forget Ben and Jerry—they are the only two men allowed in the house, Thank you, Bella!" Alice sneered at me as I took three bags from her hands.

"Well, girls, you can't tell me you weren't getting sick of the toolsheds we kept ending up with. I am strictly trying to get us to broaden our horizons. However, I am afraid I might get carpal tunnel before its over."

"Not me!" Alice sang. "RR makes sure my median nerve doesn't get overworked while the nerve in my love tunnel gets plenty of work!"

Rose quirked her eyebrow, "RR?"

Alice grinned impishly, "Rampant rabbit!"

"Oh, right, I forgot, you like them bulky and awkward, while I prefer them sleek and discreet." Rose smiled an arrogant smile.

"Guys…do you have to get into your debate over your sex toys again? Can't we just drop the subject, this isn't helping my problem." I huffed while rooting through one of the shopping bags looking for the glorious life force called ice cream.

"What problem?" Alice asked, all concerned.

Rose busted out laughing, "She's horny! The very one who suggested sexual deprivation is so horny she can't see straight!"

I threw one of Alice's brand new high-heeled boots at Rose, making sure to aim several feet above her head.

"Hey! Not my shoes, slore! Throw something that doesn't cost $1000!" Alice grabbed her shoe and cradled it as if it were her first born child.

"Holy shit, Alice! $1000? How could you pay a freaking grand for a pair of shoes?" I screamed at her not knowing the first thing about why a stupid blue pair of boots would cost so much. I mean, yeah, they were adorable shoes, but geez, the most I have ever paid for shoes is $90, and I thought those were expensive!

"They aren't just a pair of shoes," Alice said with her eyes bugging out of her head. "They are Manolo Blahnik." she said in a tone of voice suggesting I should know what the heck that means.

"If you say so. Where are Ben and Jerry? Are you sure your precious Manolo didn't get jealous and kick them out of the car? I can't find the dang ice cream!" I was starting to get pissed about not having my Chocolate Therapy.

"Chill out! I put Ben and Jerry in their own special container. There's no way they were getting close to my Manolos!" She reached in her duffle-sized purse and pulled out one of those hot and cold bags smiling. "Chunky Monkey for you, Rosie; Chocolate Therapy for you, Bells; and glorious Cherry Garcia for me! Come to Mama."

I then cradled the tub of chocolate like it was my first-born child.

"At least you learned your lesson on Coffee, Coffee, BuzzBuzzBuzz, Spunkster." Rose laughed quietly.

"I still like it. I just won't eat it because of you guys….and the neighbor….and my boss." Alice mumbled.

Last time we had wanted ice cream Alice wanted to try the aforementioned flavor. That had been the first mistake. It wasn't 30 minutes later that Alice was doing front handsprings in our living room, meanwhile knocking over everything on our end tables. Trying to salvage what was left of our house, we had convinced her to go 'play' outside. Second mistake, right there. After doing ten front tucks, eight front aerials, seven side aerials, and 15 half twists (I only know these names because she had branded them in my brain for the last eight years—since apparently gymnastic flip names is the key to Fort Knox), I thought she had stopped because she was tuckered out. Boy was I wrong! No, she had stopped because she got a wild hair up her ass and thought the neighbors' trampoline was a better place to do her tricks.

She had run faster than I thought her tiny little legs could carry her over to their trampoline and jumped up on it without even touching the frame. She then continued her display of gymnast maneuvers right about the same time Jessica Newton pulled into her driveway with her three obnoxious little demons. They then jumped out, thinking that there was a new kid in the neighborhood doing totally cool flips on their trampoline. As they took off running towards the trampoline, little Mikey slipped and fell in a puddle of mud. Apparently he had been wearing his "Sunday best" because his mom flipped her lid once she noticed he was muddy. The other two children—I don't care to remember their names, the less I know of that crazy family, the better—jumped up on the trampoline with Alice. Alice, being more high strung than a ferret on crack, didn't even notice the kids had joined her and continued her bouncing and flouncing only to cause the smallest one to catapult off the trampoline, luckily (or maybe not so luckily depending on your perspective) landing in the swimming pool instead of on the hard ground. At this point, Jessica had begun screaming and running like a bat out of hell towards her daughter.

We had thought it best if we got Alice away from the scene of the crime before Jessica called the cops, so Rose and I ran to the trampoline to pull her off, but not before her elbow hit the older girl right in the eye. I was mortified and at that point, wondering why I had ever become friends with that little freak of nature. We had managed to grab her off the trampoline and started heading back to the house just as Jessica started screaming, "You bitch! Who do you think you are coming onto my property and using my things and hurting my children in the process? I am going to kill you!" She had started walking toward Alice with a look more menacing than the devil himself could make.

That had been Jessica's big mistake. You don't ever, and I mean EVER, call Rose or one of Rose's friend a bitch! Them's fighting words!

Rose had flounced over to Jessica, and standing 6 inches taller, looked down on her with a look even more menacing than Jessica, if you can believe that, and said, "Listen here, you floozy! If you EVER call her a bitch again, I will reach down your throat and pull out your ovaries, making damn well sure you never produce another spawn of Satan as long as you live! And I just DARE you to lay one of your filthy talons on her! Now, go tend to your children of the corn and don't even think about trying anything!" With that, Rose had turned her back to Jessica and grabbed Alice by the elbow and said, "You, my tiny psychotic spaz, are getting a time out!"

I had laughed, but immediately relaxed my face when Rose gave me her You think this is funny? I'll show you funny! look that I seem to remember getting a lot of from my mom when I was younger. Yeah, Rose's definitely worked better than Mom's did. I feel sorry for her children.

"You are so lucky you still have your job after the things you said to him on that phone call." Rose laughed, bringing me back to reality.

I jumped up and ran to the kitchen to grab spoons when my cell phone went off. I looked at the caller ID and groaned, knowing that our girl's night was just put on hold.

oOo

"I'm sorry! You think I would stand up Ben and Jerry if it wasn't mandatory?" I said while slipping on my Crocs.

"I just don't understand why they always call you in on your night off! I hate the ER!" Alice whined and slumped down on the couch.

Alice and I both worked at Seattle Grace Hospital in the ER, but for some reason—I think it is because I refused Dr. Yorkie's invitation to "surround his sausage with my taco" (seriously, who would agree to that when you put it that way?)—whenever they were short a resident, they would call me in. Every. Fucking. Time.

Rose also worked for Seattle Grace, but she was much higher on the food chain. Rose was a plastic and burn surgeon. She didn't have as many burn patients as she had patients needing some sort of reconstructive surgery. One thing about Rose, she would only work on patients who had injuries that caused them to be disfigured, believing that you shouldn't change the way God made you. A lot of people hated her for this, simply because she was a complete knockout. She was five foot nine inches of perfection. Gorgeous blond curly hair down to the middle of her back. Curves in all the right places. Legs that never ended. And the most beautiful icy blue eyes you would ever see. Yeah, everyone had a problem with Rose's rules about who she would operate on. They would tell her that if God hadn't made her so perfect she wouldn't be so against it. Only Alice and I knew that Rose hated her beauty and wished God would have split it with someone else. She didn't want to be ugly, but she wanted to be less desirable. She was sick of the looks everyone gave her—the jealous stares from girls never willing to be her friend because they figured all beautiful women were bitches, and the lusty looks from the horny, perverted men who thought all beautiful women were whores. I guess it is true that no matter what you look like you will never be 100% satisfied with yourself.

"Ok, girls, I shouldn't be long tonight, just a four hour shift, so we can still go for our run in the morning. Love ya chickas!" I shouted as I grabbed my duffle bag and keys by the front door.

"You too, Bellarina!" Alice said in her sing-song voice at the same time Rose gruffly said, "Back atcha bizzle."

I rushed out to my truck and hopped in, heading to my dreaded night of chaos at the hospital, wishing I could just curl up on the couch and watch 40 Days and 40 Nights with my girls like we planned. I'm sorry Josh! I promise to spend time with you as soon as I can, my beautiful, perfect man!

God, tonight is going to suck.

"Bella! Thank God you're here!" Angela and her overdramatic self rushed up to me, enclosing me with a gentle, yet hurried hug, almost making me spill my triple espresso.

I giggled, "Hey Ang! Careful, you don't want hot coffee on your Spongebob scrubs, do you? Then you would have to wear some of my boring blue ones."

"Hey! No knocking Spongebob! He's the best babysitter money can buy!"

Angela had an adorable seven-year-old boy at home who just loved Spongebob. Whenever Angela had to study for her internship, all she had to do was play an episode of Spongebob that was saved on her DVR and she had hours of freedom.

"Walk with me to the locker room and fill me in on why exactly I am here." I said as I started walking past the nurses' desk.

"Well, Victoria was scheduled tonight; Riley fell down the steps and broke his leg in four places. James is out of town so he can't take care of him, so she had to stay home since the babysitter can't deal with Riley when he is in that much pain and crying all the time." Angela said in a rush.

"How is she coming in at midnight, then?" I was worried that I would get stuck working her full shift and there was no way I could do that having been up since three am already.

"OH! James got on a plane and headed home as soon as he heard about Riley. He actually should be landing at around ten, but she wanted to give extra time in case the flight was delayed." Angela said with a smile.

"Good, 'cause I have been up since three o'clock this morning and I can't work until eight am."

"Bella, when are you going to do something about your sleeping?" Angela had been on me for the last six months because I could only sleep for three or four hours at a time.

"Ang, when are you going to do something about that haystack on your head?" I asked, knowing it would cause her to freak out and forget all about my sleeping habits.

"My hair? What is wrong with my hair?"

I laughed, "Nothing, Miss Priss, I am just teasing you." I winked.

oOo

Three hours later, I was jerked out of my daydreaming by someone shouting down the hall.

"CALL ALICE! Tell her to get in here! Rose, too! We have ambulances coming with four firefighters! They may be badly injured; we don't know the extent yet! Hurry, they will be here in 10 minutes!" Dr. Shelby said, running towards me and Angela.

I quickly called the girls and explained. They headed there as fast as they could.

Thanks for reading :)