Summary: Blitzwing and Shockwave experienced some technical problems and wind up ported to our world. They soon discover the horrors of fan-dom. Rated for crude humor and brief language.

Disclaimer: Cartoon Network and Hasbro owns Transformers Animated. I own the story. Any all additional recognizable songs, culture references, et cetera, belong to their rightful owners.

Chapter 1: Welcome to the Real World

We open with a typical suburbia scene: All the houses look identical with neatly trimmed lawns and differ only in the bright colors that coat the houses, much like the suburbia of Tim Burton's Edward Scissor Hands Children are either away playing at the playground or are in their rooms, playing their video games or watching TV. It is a Saturday morning and teenagers baby sit younger children as their parents are out at work. It's a typical summer morning in suburbia, with absolutely nothing out of the ordinary and everybody is as assuming of this fact as everybody else.

Which is a pity, considering something is about to mess their stuff up.

In the side yard of a blue house a bright flash of purple appeared in the air, turning into a sparkling purple and white hole. From it fell two strange new comers to this realm. First: a one-eyed robot with antennae like a bug, trim and thin, with long, claw-fingers and purple and black in color. He landed on the emerald green, fertilizer-treated lawn on his stomach, face-first. Well, actually, he didn't have a face; just a black expanse with a rather expressive red and yellow optic.

The second figure fell out of the hole just as it was closing and landed on his back on top of the already-fallen person. This person, too, was a robot, light brown, black, and purple in color with guns on his shoulders, jet wings on his back, and dressed up like a German soldier. His blue face stared up at the sky dumbly as the person behind him shifted and groaned in annoyance.

"Blitzwing," the robot beneath him growled, "Will you kindly get your schizophrenic aft off of me!?"

The pinned robot shoved himself up, rolling Blitzwing onto the grass. Blitzwing rolled over onto his back on the grass, remaining expressionless and lifeless. The other robot placed a clawed hand to his forehead and shook his head before looking around, sitting on his hands and knees.

"What in the name of Cybertron…?" he muttered. "What is this place? Blitzwing, do you recognize this place?"

When he didn't get an answer, he looked back down at Blitzwing and rolled his sole optic as he sighed in annoyance.

"Well, can't say that I didn't want to do this," he said, positioning himself on his back end with his feet towards Blitzwing's head. "I just have to make sure not to kick your triple-changing head off…"

He struck out with both feet, hitting Blitzwing directly in the side of the head with a loud clang. Something pinged in side of Blitzwing's head and his optics sparked as gears in side clanked and bumped against each other. The one-eyed robot stared at Blitzwing, and then slowly began to inch backwards as Blitzwing began to shake strangely. The image of Blitzwing exploding was drawn up in Shockwave's head.

I am so dead, he thought.

A bang sounded out in Blitzwing and he leaped high into the air as his Cold face was replaced with the red-eyed-and-mouthed, black face of a jack-o-lantern.

"Woo hoo! I'm free!" Random Blitzwing shouted in his German accent.

The other robot leaped to his feet, catching Blitzwing by his ankle and yanked him down to the ground, pinning him there with one hand over his mouth.

"Shut up, Blitzwing!" he hissed, his optic narrowing in annoyance. "We are in unknown territory here! Honestly, why'd you go pressing buttons on the space bridge like that?"

"Hey, you said we needed to leave before the Autobots scum got us, Shockwave," Blitzwing replied, pulling the hand off. "And so I got us out of there!" He looked around. "Ooh, pretty colors!"

"Yes, I can see that, but where the Primus are we!?" Shockwave demanded. "Look at that!"

He pointed across the street to where some human children were playing in the sprinklers of their lawn.

"The humans here are shaped differently, the texture of everything is more defined and weird, and over all, the colors and-and-and everything is different!" Shockwave listed off. "I can't even detect any automatons or Transformers with in light years of us. And look at the size difference; we mustn't be much larger than a head over an average human. Blitzwing, where did you take us!? Blitzwing?"

But when Shockwave turned around, Random Blitzwing was up against the window of the blue house they had landed by, palms on the glass and looking all the world like a child looking into a toy store.

"Blitzwing!" Shockwave hissed, "Are you listening to me?"

"Look, Shockwave, we are on TV!" Blitzwing said happily.

"We're on human television all the time, Blitzwing," Shockwave sighed, rolling his optic in impatient. "We're on human television every time we break something, now come—"

"Ooh, now there you are killing Blur!"

Shockwave stiffened as something in side of him clacked in surprise. No one had been there when he had killed the Autobot agent, he had been sure of it! And yet, it was on TV?

"Let me see," Shockwave snarled, shouldering Blitzwing out of the way.

They fought for space briefly before Shockwave was able to peek into the human room.

It had a turquoise-blue carpet with pale blue walls and a matching deep blue couch and arm chair positioned in front of a TV on a wooden stand. A couple of girls, one six year old with red hair tied in pig tales and a teenager with short, thick, straight blond hair, were sitting in front of the TV. Sure enough, on TV, there was Shockwave pressing the dooming button that would crush the speedy blue Autobot into a cube in the tunnel systems. A foreboding music track was playing in the back ground and camera angles switched frequently in the fashion of a TV show, zooming in on Shockwave's button-pressing claw and Blur as the poor mech was crushed between two walls in a tunnel.

This is impossible! Shockwave thought, his optic widening in shock. No one could have been there with Blur and just watch him be crushed without my knowledge! But the music and the camera switching; it must mean that this is some sort of show. What money-making fool is making a TV show of our exploits? And where is he getting the information?

"Susan," the little girl whimpered. "I don't like this part. Can we go back to when Blitzwing is talking about turning the Autobots into tossed salad?"

"Sure, Marie, let's do that," Susan replied, picking up a TV remote and pressing some buttons.

A menu popped up on screen and some choices were made. When it closed out, they were watching Random Blitzwing free-fall through the air, shooting towards the Autobots on the ground.

"Hey! There's me!" Blitzwing whooped loudly.

Shockwave jerked in surprise then whipped his head around to Random Blitzwing, optic flaring scarlet in anger.

"Will you let your Cold side out or shut up?" he hissed. "We must keep a low profile until we know more about this world!"

"I can't," Random Blitzwing replied, his eyes becoming up-pointing half-moons as he beamed cheerfully at Shockwave. "You knocked him out with your kick!"

"Well, wake him up before we're discovered."

"Uh, too late, monsieur Shockwave," Blitzwing, looking back into the living room and tapping at the glass.

Sure enough, inside, little Marie and Susan were clinging to each other, staring with dropped jaws and wide eyes at the two Decepticons sitting out side of their window.

Please don't scream, Shockwave thought awkwardly. Please don't scream.

But both girls did scream…

In joy.