AN: Thanks everyone for hanging in there and being patient. I have had a lot of stories swirling around in my head the past month, so it is been really hard to sit down and focus on any one of them at a time. Yes, one of them is a Jas/Bella fic but I won't be starting a new one before this one is done.

I must say that it is very difficult to mirror Bella's POV. Bella's fic had its share of angst, but it was lighthearted and fun, when Jasper's POV has been wrought with turmoil and moodiness. I wasn't planning on doing this chapter in JPOV but a few girls encouraged me too – you know who you are – my Florida chickies. I worked really hard to hopefully make his version better than Bella's. I hope you agree.

With that being said…

I love Cullen818. Thanks Steph, for catching all of my stupidity.

I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. This story is intended for mature audiences only.

"Abstainer: A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure." - Ambrose Bierce

Chapter 23- Obstinate Over Abstinence

"You wanna…mmm…" If I can manage to pull my tongue out of her savory mouth for even a brief second, I could let her finish her question…but she tastes so fucking good. I can't get enough, and I won't let her leave this time until she knows it. "mmm…Jasper…go somewhere…quieter." She says between kisses.

That stops me dead in my tracks.

Did she want to have sex? Was she going to try and pay me?

And as fast as the thought enters my mind I squash it, but I can't will my body to stop retaliating from my brief thought, and I reluctantly squirm out of her embrace.

I am so sick of just not knowing what the hell is going on between us. It appears that she wants more, and now, I am almost sure of it, but I am not taking any chances with my intuition. It had never helped me with Bella in the past.

"I…I don't…do…" I want to say that I don't do that anymore, but my throat closes up in pain, just thinking a granule that she may be here just to sleep with me again.

I am guessing by the vehement way that I am shaking my head in denial, or the hurt I am most likely portraying in my eyes that she somehow comprehends what my meaningless mumblings meant, because her eye brows shoot up, and her eyes widen. She covers her mouth, in horror, but quickly regains her senses, and lunges forward, grabbing my biceps, in a desperate motion. "Noooo, Jazz. Noooo." Her eyes plead with me to believe her.

My panic subsides, and my comfort level rises, since it seems like we are finally communicating… or at least trying to. Astonishingly, it actually seems like we may finally be on the same page here. "I'm sorry, I just thought…"

Her eyes still wide and scared that I plan to flee, she holds me in a death grip. "Talk. Just talk."

God, we are both pieces of work. Neither one of us can get a full sentence out, but we appear to understand each other perfectly.

I have to laugh, and she smiles as she watches me give into my untimely humor.

Fuck. How could I have thought that is what she wanted, when all her body language told me that she wanted more? The answer is simple. Old wounds and insecurities. The band aids are off, but the wounds are still fresh, lying precariously beneath a well formed scab that can easily ooze infectious pain when dug off at the right angle.

She cradles my cheeks in her palms. "I just want to be with you. I just want to be near you. I just want to learn more about you."

My lips meet hers in another scorching kiss. My tongue explores teeth, gums, and flesh. No part of her mouth is untouched. I am amazed at how surreal this is, but I don't get to think about that for too long.

"Hey, Jas…you coming?"

I groan against Bella's lips, recognizing Marcus' voice behind me, reminding me that this night isn't just about Bella and me.

I pull away, and turn to look at Marcus who has a couple large bottles of what appears to be champagne in his hands, and I know that I can't just take off with Bella…and I don't want to. There is a celebration taking place. This was our final performance and I can't ditch everyone when we are celebrating our final show.

"I'll be there in a second," I say. I look back at Bella, who looks just as disappointed as I feel, but she just doesn't understand what it took for us all to get here tonight, and what the success of the set meant to all of us.

I want to ask her to stay, but I don't want her to feel obligated. It's hard to hang with a bunch of strangers, especially since they will all be flat drunk in about an hour. I also didn't want Rosalie breathing fire down Bella's neck the whole night…but I can't seem to let her go. So I ask against my better judgment, the selfish side of me winning the battle effortlessly. "This night was pretty important to all of us, so it would be really wrong of me to bolt. Do you want to stay with us?" I can't help but cringe over the question.

"Welllll…" She drawls out, as she remains thoughtful for a second. "I would love to but…"

And there it is…the "but".

"I would need a ride home. Would you mind taking me home?" My heart swells in my chest. I have to stop assuming… "Please," she whispers.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

I push her back into the wall, and enclose her in a small cage, as I brace my hands on either side of her head. "Of course, I will drive you home Bella." I lean in, and place a small whisper of a kiss on her lips. She has already put herself out there so many times tonight, over and over again she stood and fought for us and a heavy dose of respect and appreciation surge through me as I look at her upturned, questioning face. "You are my girlfriend after all."

She gives me a sly smile, and wraps her arms around my neck. "Am I?"

My arms drop and snake around her waist. I pick her up so that her gorgeous, lithe body is mashed against mine, making me hard instantaneously. I want to rub her sinuously along my frame, but I don't want to give her the wrong idea. I don't want sex tonight, and I don't want her to get the impression that I do.

I want to take this slow. I need to know that she wants more from me than what was so easily procured in the past.

For once, I need to have faith that she will wait, wanting the same thing as I do.

"You better be. Do you need me to mark you, so there will be no mistaking it in the future?" I take the skin, just below her ear, between my teeth and gnaw lightly, adding a growl for better effect. She giggles, and it is the most amazing sound I have ever heard.

"Let me go tell my friends that they can leave without me. I'll be right back." She hesitates, not wanting to leave, and I hold on just a little too long, not wanting her to go, but eventually we both give in and move away.

"I'll be right here waiting for you darlin'."

She blushes prettily, and scampers off. I am glad for the moment of peace that I will have before she comes back and I have to take her to the back room to face the clan.

Hoooooly Shit! I run my hands through my hair and clasp my fingers on the back of my neck; a permanent smile on my face. I can't believe she is here with me. I never imagined that I could see her here. That she would fight for us. I wanted to fucking jump up and down, and take my excitement out in a physical way.

What an amazing woman…and she is mine…for the moment.

Jesus, I don't even want to start making a list of the many ways that I can screw this up. I am unsure of if I am ready to handle a relationship of this magnitude or not, but I know I have to give it a try.

Forgiving myself…or whatever shit, Dr. Brownley is talking about can take years. I can't wait that long to start having a life.

Right now, my life is as good as it is going to get. I surround myself with Rosalie and friends. I go to school full time, and I keep out of trouble. The only thing missing from my life is Bella, and now that I have her I am not going to let the opportunity pass because I haven't found the recipe for absolution.

"Hey you," Rosalie says.

I don't hesitate to turn around and swoop her up in an embrace. "Whatever you said….Rosie, thank you. Thank you so fucking much," I whisper fervently.

"You better put me down. I think your Bella is going to get jealous." She sing-songs.

"What?" I ask incredulously.

"I really think that she thought I was your girlfriend."

"Eww," I say disgustedly. Rosie punches me in the arm playfully, but it still kinda hurts because she is a brute and all.

"Seriously, you should of seen the expression on her face when I said you were my brother," she snorts.

We let comfortable fill the atmosphere, as I bask in the events of the evening.

"Rosie…tell me I am not going to fuck this up," I beg.

She sighs. "Jazz, I can't tell you that." She takes in my crushed expression, and is quick to placate me. "But I can tell you this; you are ready for this…ready for her."

"But Alistair said…"

"Fuck Alistair. He has helped you a lot, but you need more than just him now. You need someone that will love you, and cherish you, like only Bella can. She will show you that you are worth more than you give yourself credit for. If she is the one, don't let her go."

"I love you Rosie." The words trip from my lips without effort. I no longer have any problem showing my brotherly affection toward her. After I lost James, she had pulled me from the deepest pits of hell, and I owe her eternally for that. Without her, I don't even want to think about where I would be. Although, it isn't hard to imagine. I would be dead.

I still have Rosie in my arms when Bella turns the corner and freezes in her spot. Even though it had appeared that Rosalie and she had a semi-friendly and productive conversation Bella looks warily at her.

Rosalie chuckles. She disengages her arms from around me, and saunters up to Bella, like a beast stalking its prey. She gets up in Bella's face and issues a quiet but very potent promise. "If you fuck with my brother I will take pleasure in dismembering your petite little body, throwing the carcass in the abused piece of luggage that I hideaway in my closet for such an occasion, and personally throw it in the middle of Lake Erie."

"Goddammit Rose," I hiss, but she stops me by extending her arm, and holding her palm out, like a crossing guard. The "stop right fucking now" is plainly written in her action, but being the stupid fuck that I am, I open my mouth to defend my girl, but this time it is Bella that glances at me and shakes her head infinitesimally.

Rosalie leans in closer to Bella. "Do you get me, Bella?"

Bella stares into Rosalie's eyes wide with fear and a smidgen of another emotion I would say closely resembling…admiration. She nods once, her only affirmation to Rosalie's threat. They stare at each other, neither one of them backing down.

Finally, Rosalie steps back, and puts her arm around Bella. "Very good. Now, tell me where you bought this lovely handbag, I must have it."

They both walk to the back of the bar where the festivities are taking place, with me following in their wake, shaking my head confounded by their conflicting mannerisms.

We had partied until the wee hours of the morning. The bar owner had asked us to stick around as a house band for a few months while they found a replacement for the group that had just given their notice. We all seemed to cave with little, to no, resistance except Sebastian, but with some gentle prodding from the rest of us he happily agreed to do it.

Yeah, there was a lot to celebrate this night.

XXXXX

I drive Bella to her door. She lives in a nice house, in an upscale neighborhood. I knew that this is the house she shared with her now deceased husband, Edward.

Would I ever to be able to give her everything he did? I didn't lack funds or means. Bella could possibly have all of the material things her heart desired, but am I whole enough to give her the emotional stability required to maintain a healthy relationship?

And that, is the burning question.

Which is just another good reason for my wish for temporary abstinence.

"W-would you like to come in?" She says hopeful. Wide chocolate eyes delve into mine through the darkened interior. I put the car in park, but I don't turn off the engine.

"Bella…I can't." My voice comes out rough, and thick.

"Oh, okay," she says meekly, lowering her head, so I can't see her face.

"Bella…I really like you…a lot. I mean…I want this to be…more…oh, God…" I stammer out. Fuck. I am going about this so ineloquently. Just spit it the fuck out.

As I continue berating myself, I feel her soft hand touch mine. "I want it to be…more too," she hesitates, and then smiles, breathtakingly.

"I have been through a lot since we last saw each other, and before that my life wasn't that great, which led me to the profession in which you found me in. Bella, there is so much to tell you, because you need to know." I look out the windshield, and then back at her. "It wouldn't be fair to you, for me to start anything like…" I wave my hand in between us, errantly. She understands with a nod, waiting for me to continue. "…without you knowing everything, first. It wouldn't be fair to either of us." It is a very real possibility that when I tell her about my past that she won't want to have anything to do with me, and I can't risk going any further than dating, until she knows all of my secrets.

She looks deep in thought for a moment, but she raises her eyes to mine and I can see the sweet acceptance in them. She grasps my hand in both of hers, and leans in to me. "I can wait." She whispers, before her lips ghost over mine in a chaste kiss. "I want to learn everything about you too Jazz. I also, have things to tell you too."

"It may take some time Bella, but I will tell you all you need to know." I push a lock of hair behind her ear, and caress her jaw line.

"I can wait as long as you need me to. I am not going anywhere Jasper."

XXXXX

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I repeat the single word over and over, for the millionth time in two fucking months.

I am such a fucking moron.

I press my hand into my swollen crotch, suppressing a growl, as I arrange my dick so that it doesn't press against the metal teeth of the zipper on my jeans. I don't know what was more idiotic, my little "agreement" that I had wholly instigated, without even having the excuse of duress, with Bella, or going commando anywhere within ten miles of this beautiful girl.

I look over at her and she graces me with a breathtaking smile, and a slow seductive wink.

Fuck!

Stupid. Stupid. I am a stupid motherfucker.

A simple date…that is what this is…well, what is supposed to fucking be…but it never fails to turn into yet another display of my deranged masochistic tendencies, brought on by a mind falling deeper into psychosis with each passing day.

The longer that I hold out on Bella…yeah, it is me holding out –because obviously, my habitual desire to torture myself goes well beyond the familiarly frequent case of blue balls - but the longer I hold out, the dirtier my mind gets.

Last week, when Bella was washing dishes while I "studied" all I could think about was bending her over the counter, and driving my dick in between those supple cheeks, and when she took a mouthful of the steak that I made for her, and some of the juices had dribbled down her chin, I wanted nothing more to throw her on the kitchen table and spread her luscious thighs so I could eat her sweet pussy instead of the uninviting red meat and baked potato that had been sitting in front of me.

I want her so fucking much. I don't know why I still haven't gone there. I've told her everything. She knows everything about my horrid past. I didn't leave out a single detail. I cleaned out the closet, and brought out all of my skeletons, forcing her to see the grim truth of what I had done, and how those experiences shaped my life to be where I am now.

She took it well. Her eyes remained fixed on mine, and still during the most revealing moments her eyes never strayed from mine…even when I wanted her to. I didn't want her to see me looking so vulnerable, but I knew the time had come for me to tell her. She voiced that she is anxious to step up our physical relationship, but I still felt like I needed to give her some time to have everything I told her sink in.

She needs to know what she is getting into, because I am pretty sure that when we finally have sex that I will never, ever be able to let her go.

It's been a month since I have told her, and in turn she told me her story. I learned about Edward's death, and how his parents along with her father made a snap decision not to let her say goodbye to him, and then what happened with Jacob. All of our pasts were laid out, on display. But yet, I haven't made a move, opting to settle for light kisses, and small touches.

It isn't a matter of still needing to figure out my feelings. I love her. There is no doubt in my mind. She is quirky, funny, intelligent, charming, and a little clumsy. She is so endearing, and I just find myself in awe, on a daily basis, that she wants to be with me.

And on the outside…dammit… she is a masterful seductress. Her physique is flawless; she has long shapely legs that lead to a perfect ass, a taut abdomen, and perky breasts that I remember fitting snuggly into my palms. And she knows how to move that body in such tantalizing ways; the gentle sway of her hips, the arch of her slender back…fuck, just begging for me to press her into my mattress, so I can worship every inch of that delectable body for hours, until we are both deliciously sore and spent.

Thoughts are not helping the hard-on.

I casually roll my hips up off of the seat to make more room in my jeans. I glance at her sitting next to me in the dark theatre.

Who wears a skirt to a fucking movie? A tiny, practically non-existent, goddamn skirt. My senses start reeling and I look away angrily. I can't understand why I can't control my bodily response to her. It seems like every little thing she does lately is fucking meant to drive me insane.

Well, I don't know if she is taking care of her own needs, but I sure am. I don't look forward to waking up in a sticky, wet mess, so I perform the perfunctory act of jacking it every morning in the shower while I scream out Bella's name. It was effective in getting rid of the hard-on, but it did little to assuage the constant ache that I still feel. I know from experience that Bella is a sexual being, and I also am aware that she isn't all together happy with our current situation.

After the movie is over we are walking out to the car. "So what did you think of the film?"

I am walking behind her, and I hear what she says, but it doesn't register because all of my attention is on her rear moving sinuously in that slinky skirt.

"Yeah?" I say absently, my mind still in the gutter, and not at all on what Bella had actually just said.

"Yeah? What kind of answer is that?" She asks testily.

"Sorry," I mumble. She turns around stiffly and walks faster.

It is almost comical how moody we have been lately.

Almost.

XXXXX

I put on some Papa Roach, throw together lasagna for dinner, and sit down to study. I have a test next week that is worth a third of my grade in Forensic Psychology, so I take every spare moment to cram. I look forward to a day that I get my Master's and can start my practice. I'm not going to stop going to school until I have my full Doctorate, but I know I won't have to wait that long to start helping kids.

Thinking of kids like James and me, just waiting for guidance and support is my encouragement and motivation to study harder, and be better.

Another source of motivation just walks through the door.

I am nervous about tonight. Tonight we might take another tenuous step in our relationship, and as always, I am worried that I am going to scare her off. Dr. Brownley doesn't think I am ready to take this next leap, but Rosalie thinks I am, and I choose to believe her.

I can hear her bumbling around in the foyer, and I smile automatically and instantaneously. I feel a contentment like nothing I have ever known when Bella is with me.

Rosalie loves her, too. She doesn't admit it…yet, but she does. They talk on the phone almost every day and go out on days that I have school in the evening. Bella is infiltrating herself in my life in ways that will already be devastating should she decide to bolt.

"Hey angel," she walks into the kitchen, and I about fall over in my chair.

"Hi." Is about all I can manage to say without fear of stuttering like a blundering idiot. Bella is wearing a top that molds to every curve in her body. Her tits are pushed up and out, and her midriff is exposed above a pair of jeans that look like they are painted on.

As she comes closer to place a kiss on my forehead, I can see a clear outline of her succulent nipples through her top.

Holy fuck.

"Something smells really good." She walks over to the stove and peers through the oven window, completely oblivious to what she is doing to me.

I practically break my glasses as I remove them to scrub my face in keen sexual frustration. My ever-present and unwelcomed boner is poking against the fly of my jeans.

"Yeah, I made lasagna." I say warily, completely sick and tired of having to remember the reasons why I still feel the need to torture us by abstaining.

"Sweet. You want me to make the salad while you study?" She asks, completely innocent, while I can't seem to focus on anything. Study? Yeah. I'm done. My brain has officially shut down for the night. My libido taking night duty in its stead.

But I am supposed to be studying, so I pretend to read, as I once again try to control my impulses to jump her. "Sure."

I am trying to concentrate on shoving my dirty thoughts aside to have a decent conversation with my woman, but a fire rages in me. I watch, hypnotized by the subtle swaying of her hips, and am mesmerized by her quiet voice singing the words to Papa Roach's Carry Me.

Does she know what she does to me? Does she know how much I care about her? How much I want to see her standing there every fucking day? Before I shout out my very possessive thoughts, and scare the living daylights out of her, I get up and feel safe enough in voicing my first question.

I wrap my arms around her tight little frame, and dig my nose into the crook of her neck, inhaling deeply. "What are you doing to me darlin'?" She groans, and pushes her ass into my pulsating cock. My hips move of their own volition, grinding into her. It takes every ounce of restraint not to slam into her again, so I separate my lower half from hers, but I can't seem to tear my mouth away from her neck.

I run my hand down the length of her arm, and settle over her hand that is holding the knife. It lays dormant as I continue to place tender kisses along the back of her neck and shoulder. Her breath hitches when I reach the spot just under her ear, and the sound of it drives me a little more insane.

When my hips come forward again, looking for contact, I know it is time to move away. Bella and I will, hopefully, be taking another huge step in our relationship tonight, if she accepts my gifts, that is. I don't want to overwhelm her, or I, by putting sex in the mix and having those emotions influence her decision to accept what I have to offer her.

So, resigned, I pull away saying her name on a groan, as the loss of contact magnifies the ache in my groin. I must have made Bella lose her equilibrium because when she swivels around, she dips her arm at an awkward angle, and spills her purse, that had been sitting on the counter, all over the floor.

With a chuckle I bend to help her retrieve her belongings.

Why do women insist on carrying all of this shit in a bag? Do they really need this stuff every day?

Like this thing. I pick up the little pink compact. Does she really need this every single day? "What's this?" I ask, trying to prove the point to myself.

"Oh," she grabs it quickly, with a slight blush to her cheeks. "Those are just my birth control pills."

Fuck me.

I think I said "fuck" out loud, but I am not positive. In a haze, I make my way back to my seat and throughout the course of the meal, all I think about is putting those pills to use.

It isn't until we sit down in front of the television that my mind focuses on my gifts. The suspense is going to eat me alive, so before I can back out, I blurt, "Darlin'? Um…I have something for you."

Is my voice shaking, really? Be a fucking man. Goddamn.

Irritated with myself, I pull an envelope out of my back pocket and thrust it at her. Her eyes widen when she pulls out the concert tickets. I know she is a big fan of the Offspring, so Marcus called in a few favors and got us floor seats, in the fifth row, which in my estimation is close enough to the stage to get sweat on.

But my optimism slowly fades when I see the smile on her face falter, and tears well up in her eyes.

The concert is not for a couple of months. Maybe she doesn't think we will last that long.

I wonder if it is the lack of sex that makes her hesitant, because if it is, I'll give it to her. The realization dawns, that at this point, I will do anything to keep her.

The knowledge hits me like a ton of bricks that it doesn't matter anymore. If she wants to have a relationship based solely on good sex, then I will do it to keep her.

She starts to shove the concert tickets back in the envelope, and I debate on telling her that something else is in there, but when she looks up her eyes are still shining, and there is a difference in them now. A mischievous glint fills her chocolate orbs, and then and there I knew all my last minute worries were unfounded.

She is getting ready to do something, and I am not sure what it is. My heart speeds in anticipation, but her face turns into a slight grimace, and she looks back down at the envelope. She turns it over in her hand and the key falls out into her palm.

The key to my house. Why not? She already has the key to my heart. This is just an insignificant detail compared to that.

"Jazz?" Her breathless plea for enlightenment has me squirming in my seat. I look down at my hands because suddenly and needlessly, I am embarrassed. She stares in awe at the key, and in that moment I know we are both ready for this.

"I thought you might be able to use that since sometimes you could get here before class lets out," I say shyly. I think I throw in a shrug for good measure, but I am not sure, because my head is spinning, with images of seeing Bella already in my house when I get home. I let the feeling of pure and unequivocal happiness wash over me.

I chance a look up at her. Her guarded eyes are penetrating, and her breathing is shallow. She forces nonchalance, which I find completely obvious. "You're right. It would be nice to get dinner started before you got here."

The images in my mind shift to Bella cooking when I arrive.

My God. My house would be burned to the ground!

Thinking that it is a pretty good idea to lighten the atmosphere I vocalize my concerns on the matter. "Ohh nooo, maybe I should take it back!"

"Very funny, smart ass."

XXXXX

This is my favorite thing about this house. The patio. But, the beautiful serenity and peacefulness elude me tonight as thoughts of Bella leaving this evening infect my mind. She looked so forlorn when she left.

I am going to have to give up on my insatiable insecurities about our future, and what it will do to me if she gives up on us. She is already my world, with or without sex. If she left me now, I would be heartbroken.

I shouldn't have let her go like I did tonight. I knew what she wanted and I should have explained better. I should have told her that I am almost ready.

No. I should have said fuck it, and carried her to my bed and made love to her the entire night, and fill this empty hole inside both of us.

At what point is it enough? I know I love her. I know I am in love with her. I know this is real. But does she? I'm not quite sure if the feeling is mutual, but deep in my heart I know that Bella wants more than sex.

She would have been long gone by now. I had no unrealistic dreams that I was that good…that she would suffer my company just for a romp. No, I believe she genuinely likes me. But how much?

I don't expect love yet. I don't need her to confess love for me to have her in my bed, but I have to know that she is in this for the long haul. That she sees a viable future for us. When that is apparent then I will make love to her until I could make her love me back.

And when she does, I will give her everything, I will be her everything, and then maybe she will be able to heal these wounds inside of me. The doc has sewn the gaping holes closed, but they still fester with an undisclosed amount of guilt and shame.

I know I will have to find out soon where she stands, because I can't take much more.

The Jack and Coke in my hand is all but forgotten, as images of Bella blanket my mind, and fill my cock with, the all too familiar, aching need. I swear that I will never forget the look of pure joy on her face when I gave her the key to this place. I couldn't distinguish an ounce of uncertainty on her features. She had wanted that key.

My mind shifts to the impure, and how amazingly hot Bella looked tonight, and I recognized later that she did it for my benefit. She was trying to seduce me, and goddamn, it is working like a fucking charm. My will is crumbling slowly around me. It is only a matter of time now, before I give Bella what we both need so desperately.

I open my fly, and I lower the zipper to create extra space for my bulging member. I readjust, so that my dick pops comfortably through the opening, and I can't help but let out a small "fuck yeah" on a sigh of relief. I had already disposed of my shirt, so my hand rubs over my taut belly, and my exposed chest, flicking the ring on my nip. A moan bubbles up my esophagus, and ends on a choked laugh.

I am turning into a sex-crazed maniac.

I notice that the head of my dick has made its way through the slit of my boxers and is enjoying the fresh night time air. I continue to rub down my torso, spreading my hand wide as it glides seamlessly over my heated skin, and I relish the slow building warmth growing in my chest.

I feel a cooler wind hit the tip of my cock and I know it is because now, there is moisture there. I can't go a day with Bella, and not have a leaking cock the rest of the night. My body craves her, just as much as my heart and soul does.

My hand slips down over my shaft, and I feel the wetness that had gathered over my slit. I look down as I watch my finger graze the area, spreading the bead along the entire head. My dick pulsates in its non-negotiable demand for gratification; and I quickly realize that waiting for my morning wank is no longer an option.

I put the highball down on the deck rail, and take careful pleasure in bringing the band of my boxers over my shaft. I lower my skivvies, and pants midway over my thighs, and look down at my engorged cock.

"What are you doing to me Bella?" I whisper for the second time tonight.

My hand massages the base, and the surrounding area. I shut my eyes, as my hand flows to the underside of my cock. I flatten the bottom of my palm along the base, my fingertips barely touching the rim of my head. I push my cock down, my palm runs down the length, stretching and pressing it along my leg. I let out a hiss as a little more fluid escapes, and puddles on the inside of my thigh.

I circle my fist around my shaft, pumping once, and just before I reach the tip, I twist my hand over the responsive rim. I repeat that motion, sliding my hand down and pulling it back up with a proficient flip of the wrist at the head. My head falls back on my shoulders, as the slight cool wind sifts through my hair.

My hand moves faster, the flicks of my wrist a little more erratic as the pleasure takes over all of my senses. My leg starts to quiver, but I don't want to find my pleasure too soon.

I discard my pants and underwear and make my way over to the chaise lounge. I lay back on the cushioned seat. With my knees spread wide, my feet remain on the ground, on both sides of the chair.

I look down and watch my cock bounce a couple of times, pleading for attention. Both hands descend, one grasping my dick, the other kneading the contiguous area. As I tug at my dick, my other hand treads lower, rolling my balls for a moment before massaging the sensitive area underneath.

My hips undulate, moving back and forth in erotic circles, imagining I am in Bella's white hot heat. Giving her pleasure as I seek my own. Together we will climb, and we will reach the pinnacle…together.

Always together.

I am in a world of my own. A world where only Bella and I exist, and where our pasts didn't haunt us. She loves and wants me, and I am her everything.

I want it so bad…I want her so bad.

Give it to me, please Bella.

My stomach jumps and bobs as my impending orgasm threatens to explode. I place my hand just over my rumbling stomach, enjoying the havoc my body is experiencing, as I find a release. I watch as my hand splays itself, roaming up over my heaving chest, down my tightened abs. A light sheen of sweat coats my torso, as my strokes become erratic and choppy.

I pinch my nipple and it almost sends me over the edge, but I detain myself from reaching the ultimate goal. I stop all movement on my cock, holding it upright, so that my other hand can spread the moisture glistening on the tip around the head of my cock, and then taking a drop of excess fluid to swirl around my sac. I pinch my sac, tightening the skin of my cock.

I groan, my back arches slightly, and my thigh muscles tighten…

and my toes curl…

and I am losing the fucking fight…

and then I hear a gasp.

What? Please, please, please don't be Rosalie.

My eyes shoot open, and there stands Bella. "Bella!" I groan.

One hand is fisting her hair, and the other is clenched at her side. Unadulterated and undiluted lust is thick in her eyes. I grab my underwear lying next to me and cover my throbbing cock.

She watches the action, and her eyes shift emotions, and she is shaking her head minutely, her lips form a grim line, her posture rigid and unbending, but slowly, she untangles her hand, leaving a mass of tangle.

She is determined.

Every ounce of her body shows the clear set of what she is about to do. There will be no denying her.

She moves a step forward, as she grabs the hem of her shirt, pulling it over with one swift movement. The energy between us pulsates in waves that cannot be ignored. "Belllaa!" I beg weakly.

Her fucking perfect breasts are on display in a pale pink bra. She bends over, giving me a better view of the soft orbs, while she peels off the jeans she is wearing, exhibiting matching pink silk panties.

I cannot say no. My dick bounces under my shorts in desperation, reminding me that I still need to finish what I started. Like I need a fucking reminder with what is being taunted in front of me at this very moment.

"Don't worry, angel. No sex, I promise."

What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Doesn't she realize how much I want her?

She shimmies her panties down her legs, and unclasps her bra, letting it fall down her arms onto the wood deck. She stands before me naked, shimmering in the moonlight, displaying her magnificent body for my starved eyes. She watches as I gaze upon her, staring at her perfection. My fingers itch, as wisps of her hair ghost over her rosy nipples, puckered from either the evening coolness, or from the electricity crackling between us.

"You are so beautiful my Bella." I stare, struck by an acute admiration and unrelenting pride. What it took for her to take this chance, and come to me, vulnerable and willing. My heart expands with my love for her. "My God…"

She approaches and stands over me. It would only take the lifting of my hand and I would be able to tangle my fingers in the short curls of her womanhood, but before I can do anything, she places her warm hand on my back, urging me forward. I comply and she slips in behind me, sitting up on her knees so that the place where I just longed for my fingers to be, is nestled into my spine. Her pert breasts poke against my shoulder blades, and I feel her hot breathing in my ear.

I am not prepared for her small arms to find their way underneath my arm and wrap around me. One hand is reaching for my chest and the other reaching for my cock. When she wraps her dainty fist around it, while pinching my nipple, I almost lose my load right then.

There are no words to describe the feeling of her hands on me, like this, again. It has been so long. Too long.

"Just this, angel…just this." When she starts pumping my cock, in smooth long strokes, staying just under the swollen head, I know this won't take any time at all.

My hips have a mind of their own as they lift to meet her hand, thrust for burning thrust. I have to touch her, so I reach back and settle my hands along her supple thighs, moving them up and down at the same pace that her hand is coming down on my shaft, and in the same rhythm as her clit pressing and circling into my back.

I take, take, take, with nothing to fucking give. My position doesn't allow for any kind of a counterattack, but with her writhing against me, and her choppy breathing, I have no worries that she is finding her own fulfillment.

"Oh…God…Bella, oh fuck…that feels…Ah, God…you are wonderful." Shit. My intention is to whisper words of encouragement…or at least I try to, but to me, it sounds like a series of jumbled ramblings.

My head falls back, and she takes the opportunity to attack the column of my neck. I can't wait to reciprocate. I imagine Bella in my position, while I stroke her into oblivion. Those thoughts cause my stomach to jump.

"Oh Bella, fuck…I am not gonna last…" much longer. My vocal cords fail.

The world dissolves around me, and my baser instincts take over. I feel a sharp sting in my neck and I realize that Bella bit me. The feral action sends me into a whirlwind of ecstasy.

Hot ribbons of cum jet out of my cock, and land haphazardly on my stomach and chest, scalding the area for which it resides. Each individual stream causes my stomach to clench, and my hips to burst forth, in waves of uncondensed internal rapture, seizing my entire frame and sanity with each pass.

For several minutes, I grapple at coherency, and attempt to shake free of the tremors that still wrestle through my body.

"Bella will you stay with me tonight?" I ask quietly.

"Sure," she says tiredly, but happily.

I look up at the moonlight, and the landscape beyond, finally finding a peace I have never known in this wonderful girls arms.

As much as I love this patio and house, this is the first time it has ever felt like a home.

So, I added some things that I didn't cover in Bella's POV, and likewise, I skipped some of the dialogue during the dinner, and afterward that was in Bella's POV, so I could fit more of the good stuff into this chapter. If you want to read what wasn't said in this chapter check out Finding Relief's chapters 25 and 26.

So, did Jasper's POV outdo Bella's this time? Reviews make my day, so tell me what you thought. Please.