I'm so, so sorry about the wait! My other story takes up every scrap of my free time, seeing as I have to update it on a weekly basis with at least a two thousand word chapter. I hope that you guys can forgive me, especially somerandomtwili who, I know, really wanted to see the next chapter of this.
This chapter is really short, but I've become so used to writing my other, serious, story that I've run out of inspiration for this. That doesn't mean that the next update shouldn't be sooner than this one, though, because my other story finishes next week and so I'll have much more time to focus on this.
Anyways, I'm gonna shut up now because this author's note might actually become longer than the freaking chapter...
I hope that you peoples enjoy this mini-chapter :)
Wolf-Link was sprinting through the sacred realm, dodging, weaving, and generally being annoyingly melodramatic as he raced to take back some stick from an incredibly slow chicken.
For some reason, he was sure that something was about to go wrong. Maybe it was because he was heading straight for a tree, or maybe it was because he'd just seen Ooccoo and her creepy son (Link wasn't sure how a severed head resembled an actual living being, but he decided to let it slide), both teleporting away all of a sudden to some unknown location that he would probably never find, he wasn't sure. All he knew, was the tree was horribly close, and he'd been too busy speculating on the subject of mutated chickens to move out of the way.
In short, he crashed.
Midna, being of the helpful sort, decided to transform him back into a human to relieve his agony. Well, this was actually more likely to have been because she didn't like him wearing the Zant badge on his head, and only allowed him to release his inner thoughts on the situation.
"STUPID F***ING TREES! I hope they all burn in hell and release horrible carbon emissions that cause the world to flood and tear down every single one of their f***king tree siblings and their f***ing tree parents and their f***ing tree pet squirrels!" He screamed, clutching his head in agony.
"Squirrels? As pets? I think you might be delirious," Midna pointed out.
"So what if I am?"
"Not my problem," she replied, turning away. "Now get up and go...do something!"
"My head hurts."
"Nobody cares about you! Now get up already."
He struggled to his feet, collapsed, received a kick from Midna, struggled up again, collapsed, received yet another kick from Midna, and then finally struggled to his feet and stayed there. "My head still hurts."
"Like I said, I don't c-" she stopped suddenly, before an excited grin overcame her expression. "I know what you need."
"A councillor for all the mental scarring I've received from ploughing through endless metaphorical hills of random crap?"
"Um...no. Even though one of those would probably be useful...I'll tell you what you need."
"Go on."
"You need a magical little substance I like to call...alcohol..."
"What in Fred's gloriously original name would I be needing that for?"
"It's a painkiller."
"You didn't seem that interested in my wellbeing just a couple of seconds ago."
"That's because I'm a pathetic idiot who is far less superior than Zelda. Ahem! I mean, that's because I like you."
Link raised a suspicious eyebrow. "You...you're actually admitting for once that you like me, instead of dropping blatant hints about it?"
"Got a problem with that?"
"Not really. I was just wondering, wouldn't it be easier-"
"No it wouldn't, now let's go!"
Before he could attempt to ask why they couldn't have just popped down to Malo Mart and stolen a bottle of painkillers instead, Midna had transformed him into a Wolf and warped him to Telma's bar.
When they arrived, it seemed Midna had forgotten to account for the fact that everyone in Telma's bar might be a little bit surprised that a Wolf had suddenly appeared in the middle of the room out of nowhere.
Actually, 'little bit surprised' wasn't exactly the most accurate description. As Wolf Link materialized in the bar, Telma ran away screaming that her chest area was too pretty to be ripped apart by a Wolf. Two of the emos ran away and took back their pledges to the emo religion. Shad would have wet himself, had he been there.
At least this left the bar empty, well, except from one particularly stupid emo, who had decided to stay and play poker with himself whilst a potentially viscous Wolf wandered about the bar freely. Instead of wondering how in the name of Fred's awesome sparkling ass someone plays poker with themselves, Wolf-Link let Midna head in the direction of the alcohol cabinet.
Man, did he wish he hadn't done that.
In approximately ten seconds flat, she'd consumed three bottles of Hyrule's most alcoholic liquors and a can of energy drink from Telma's mini-fridge. He could only wait, terrified, as she slowly turned to him.
Of course he'd been expecting to see her frighteningly demonic smile, but it scared him nonetheless.
"Hello," she stated, before shooting through the roof.
Wolf-Link mentally elf-slapped himself.
There was a pause, in which he just sat down and just stared at the hole in the roof, with absolutely no clue what to do next. That was when the emo spoke up.
"I think...that you should go find my friend Shad and beat the hell out of him to express your agonising feelings of distraught and anger at this situation."
After recovering from the fact that this emo had a vocabulary that extended beyond two words (i.e. he actually had a brain), Wolf Link realised that tearing apart some delusional Harry Potter cos player would actually be a worthwhile use of his time, and hopefully take his mind off the fact that his only form of navigation had gotten pissed again and flown off to Din knows where.
He nodded a silent 'thank you' to the emo, who handed him a 'Freak' tracker.
"That should lead you straight to Shad."
Wolf Link nodded again, and, with the tracker between his teeth, set off towards the unknown.
Next chapter should be up sooner than this one was. Again, a huge apology, because I know I suck at updating this story...
If I get any reviews at all, I'll be extremely grateful, and if I don't, I suppose I deserve it '~'