Un-Lucky
A Mortal Instruments Song-Fic
Song: "Lucky" by Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat
Author's Note: This song isn't 100% perfect for these two characters, but the idea and the lyrics work. This is before we find out that Jace and Clary might just be siblings. (I own none of these wonderful characters; copyright belongs to Cassandra Clare. I own none of the lyrics.)
Author's Note: Yes, it's spelled 'Un-Lucky,' instead of 'unlucky.' It's for a reason.
She's not listening to me.
Again.
Sometimes it's like she's on another continent.
I am used to it, okay, should be used to it.
I shouldn't be hurt, really shouldn't.
I know I'm not that interesting.
Hell, that's one reason I started the band with Eric.
Something interesting about me.
And it's something else to think about.
Besides her.
--
Do you hear me? I'm talking to you
Across the water, across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby, I'm trying
--
I try. Really.
I try getting her attention.
I've practiced in front of the bathroom mirror in my house what I want to say.
It's a little pathetic, I know.
But I just can't make myself cross that border.
I'm scared that she won't love me the way I love her.
Yeah, I used the "L" word.
What if she only wants to be friends?
What if she laughs at me?
I'd rather stay her best friend than lose her.
--
Boy, I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard
--
I don't know what I would do without him.
He's been my best friend for forever.
He's like the brother I never had.
If I didn't have him, I don't know how I'd survive.
Sometimes I catch him staring at me.
It's kind of weird.
I don't know what he's thinking when he's looking at me.
People constantly think he's my boyfriend.
Simon? I've never considered it before.
Not sure I want to consider it.
He's just always been there for me.
--
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I've been
Lucky to be coming home again
--
She doesn't really have other friends.
Just me.
Makes her more mine.
I know her backwards and forwards, inside and out.
Well, there's one way I don't know her.
I've never dared to kiss her.
But I have the freedom to touch her, whenever I want.
Though it's restricted by our friendship.
I can hug her and tickle her and pick her up and she doesn't flinch.
So I guess it's lucky to be in love with your best friend.
--
They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you, I promise you, I will
--
I haven't always loved her.
At least, not like this.
But it didn't take me long to fall for the little freckled red-haired girl.
And since then, I've been waiting for my chance
And only recently have I gotten anywhere near to bringing up the idea of us.
You have no idea how long that takes.
She thinks that I hate going to Pandemonium.
But, secretly, I like it.
I get to wrap my arms around her as we weave back and forth,
Her back pressed against my chest.
I get to pretend she's mine.
Maybe, after a little more waiting, she will be.
Patience is something I've learned—something I need.
I'll outwait anyone for Clary.
--
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I've been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
--
There have been other guys who've been interested in her.
I made it clear to them that they don't mess with my Clary.
I've always been a permanent part of Clary.
We're a duo,
Rosencrantz & Guildenstern have nothing on Clary & Simon.
"Attached at the hip" my mom calls it.
Eric adds some other anatomically interesting innuendo to that.
I wish.
I'm lucky I've been her best friend for all these years.
She can't replace me, something I've been striving for
One step closer to where I want to be
--
And so I'm sailing though the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
--
I dream so often about her
And in my dreams—not my nightmares—I've always crossed that last remaining gap
That last ocean that separates us
That damn friend zone
Some day she will have that moment, that revelation where she will realize that I am the one for her
We can cue the Hollywood-Movie-Music
Do the whole run-down-the-beach-towards-each-other-in-slow-motion-thing
I'll finally kiss her and hold her
Run my fingers through her red hair
And we will be together forever
--
Though the breezes, through trees, move so pretty
You're all I see
As the world keeps spinning 'round
You hold me right here, right now
--
Without Simon, things might be a lot different.
I'd probably just have my mom and Luke.
Simon's kept me grounded.
He's the only one who knows about my sketchpad.
The world as I know it has disappeared.
My mother is gone
Vampires and werewolves and demons are real
And I can see them
And that Jace, the Shadowhunter
I don't know how to feel about him
Without Simon, I wouldn't have my sanity.
I love my best friend.
--
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I've been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
--
She's met someone else.
Another male has invaded my territory.
I can see her fascination with him.
Damn him and his good lucks and his charm
Damn that Jace
The way she looks at him—a way I'd have killed to have her look at me the same
Why the hell did he have to show up?
Right when I had found the courage to tell her how I feel.
Damn him.
And I see it now, she'll turn to me for comfort and consolation
He's a warrior, a what-you-call-it-Shadow-Hunter
Whatever the hell that is.
She'll fall in love with this Jace and if he's smart, he'll fall even harder for her
And I'll hear every freaking detail of it
She'll tell me about their first kiss, how freaking wonderful he is.
And I'll wonder how the hell he did it.
And know that I would do better.
That he can't love her like I love her.
Yeah, I used the "L" word again.
I can't be replaced; I know I mean a lot to her
But I may just have lost my last chance to make her mine
I'll always just be Simon the Best Friend
Dammit.
My worst nightmare has come true.
It's not so lucky to be in love with your best friend.
No, it's damn unlucky.
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