Hey guys, I know its a little short, but its a filler chapter of sorts. Also I skipped the part where our boys would be in jail just because Bella wouldn't fit very well into it, so you'll see it makes sense I promise.

Oh and don't be mad at me for the flashback :) it will be intense and sad. Thanks guys!

"How long are you back?"

The awkward silence was cut in half by the question. Jax stared at Tara as they sat in her kitchen, their untouched coffee growing colder. He saw her eyes shakily moving everywhere; she was avoiding him. It angered him her lack of need for him. They way he had for her.

"Uh-um," She cleared her throat. "I'm not sure. Dad's been feeling sick so I'm just here to get him some help." She stood up and grabbed a wet dish, drying it with a clean rag. Her palms were sweaty, her face red. She was itching for him to leave.

Jax took a deep breath. "Where you been Tara?"

"Here and there." She said cryptically.

Jax was growing frustrated with her attempted brush offs and avoidance. He got up and grabbed her elbow, spinning her to face him. "Why'd you leave?"

She stared at him, fear evident in her eyes. Her small body was shaking, the dish falling from her hands. They paid no heed to the broken glass, instead staring at each other. "You have a girlfriend. Jax please-"

Her voice was cut off as he grabbed her and crashed his lips onto hers. She didn't respond at first, her hands frozen in place. But his incessant persuasion soon had her following his movements.

He knew it was wrong. Knew he'd probably regret it come morning; but in that one moment nothing had ever felt more perfect. He hadn't realized how much he had missed Tara until that moment. Her sweet smell of home; her soft plush brown hair; but most of all her lips, the lips that could give him shivers and confidence all at once.

He knew it was too late to turn back when he shoved them into her old bedroom. Knew he couldn't change his mind when he took of her clothes and his. And knew Bella could never find out as he made love to the woman who still held his heart.
-
"She's pretty."

Allison shrugged. "She's nothing much."

Bella wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Allison had, had the bright idea to stalk (or in her words research) the one and only Tara Knowles. She hadn't wanted to go; Bella had vehemently said no. But her very persuasive friend had convinced her to get in her car and go to Tara's house. Well-her father's house. They had arrived just in time to see the pretty doctor looking flushed and rigorously cleaning the front yard.

She was prettier than Bella had expected. Her delicate features were surprising to Bella's eyes; picturing Jaxs' high school sweetheart to be somewhat Gemma like and fierce in her beauty. She hadn't expected the simple doctor who was anything BUT a crow eater. Hell Bella couldn't imagine her walking into a bar let alone dating a biker.

"Well I have feel so secure about my relationship now." She said sarcastically.

Allison chuckled. "Come off it. I've never seen anyone love their girlfriend the way Jax does you. Nothing will happen. I heard she'll only be here for a month anyway. Then she's gone forever."

Sighing, Bella motioned to her friend to leave. "I guess you're right. I have nothing to worry about."

Yet, she would have never in a million years guessed it.

"So I told Allison, that dress is way to short and you would absolutely kill me if I ever wore it. But she said you'd like it so-"

"Bells," Jax interrupted her by grabbing her hands. "I need to talk to you."

Bella waved him off. "Sure, in a sec. So she ends up getting the dress and I was like there's no way I would keep it. It was just so trashy and she-"

"Bella! We need to talk." He said seriously.

She frowned and nodded her head. "What's wrong baby?" She touched his face. The look of disgust on Jaxs' face had her reeling back. "What is it?"

Jax rubbed a hand over his face. He looked like he was in agony. "Sit down."

Bella sat quietly, her eyes never leaving his. "Jax you can tell me, whatever it is."

He shook his head. "I don't know darlin'."
They stayed quiet just staring at each other, before Bella spoke. "You're scaring me." And he was. She looked frightened of what he so desperately wanted to say.

"Fuck," He whispered. Bending down in front of her, he took a hold of her face. "Do you love me."

"Of course." She responded without even flinching.

"Then promise me that no matter what I tell you you'll always love me. No matter what I do."

She kissed his lips softly. "Always Jax. I'll always love you. I promise." The trust and unadulterated love in her eyes made him sick.

He sighed and took a deep breath. "You remember-you remember-" He couldn't continue. The words refused to come out.

"Just tell me." She urged. Eyes pleading with him.

"Remember Tara, my uh ex."

The warmth of her hands left his body, her kiss forgotten as her mouth now formed a shocked 'O' as if she already knew.

And she did.

The moment Jax brought up her name, the moment he mentioned her, any promise she had made was long forgotten. She knew what he was trying to tell her. Why it was so difficult to tell her.

He had slept with her.

"Bella I'm so-" He stopped as her little palm slapped his face.

"If you say you're sorry-" She couldn't continue. Her mind was reeling, her face red. No tears fell. At least not yet. He tried to reach out for her but she jumped off the chair and held her hands in front of her body. "Do NOT touch me." She was shaking from head to toe.

"It just happened-"

Bella laughed mirthlessly. "It JUST happened? Nothing JUST happens Jackson." She bent over holding her stomach. "God oh God." She whispered. She felt nauseous. Her heart breaking; her body giving out on her.

Jax just watched, powerless to do anything. He felt like scum; worse than scum. He couldn't tell who's heart broke more. His or hers.

"I gave you everything." She scathingly looked at him. "God I gave you my virginity. I left my dad, my fucking dad. Oh God." She wanted to hit him; to kill her. But she was too tired, too defeated. Instead she slid down the wall she was leaning on in a state of shock. Whispering nothing but 'Oh God's' and 'why' over and over.

"I still love you." He whispered pathetically.

She didn't even look up as she responded. "I don't." She lied. Standing up she grabbed her bag, avoiding touching or looking his way. He reached out for her, but she shrugged him off. Walking to the door, she stopped and took a deep breath. Composing herself, her chin held high, she gave him such a look of malice and utter hatred he lost his breath. "You're a liar and a cheat Jackson Teller, and I hope you can live with yourself."

If Jax had known those would be the last words she would say to him for five years, he would have gone after her.

"Well if it isn't the wicked bitch."

Bella gave a toothy smile to the blonde before her and leaned against her doorway. "Yeah well, I need a favor."

The blonde shook her head and sighed. "You've been here a few months and I've yet to hear from you, and you think I'll do YOU a favor?"

As the blonde began to shut the door, Bella reached out and grabbed it before it completely closed. "Allison I get you're mad at me, but it's about my kid." She pleaded.

Glaring at her, Allison rolled her eyes and let her in. She turned her back on the girl and walked inside her house. "Coffee or tea?"

"Beer." As Allison disappeared into the kitchen Bella looked around the small house. The raggedy couch in the middle of the living room took up much of the space. The house was old and in less than wonderful condition, but it felt very homey. There were pictures scattered around the tables and walls of the home. One that stabbed at her heart was the two of them as teenagers, smiling and posing on Jaxs' bike. She remembered that day clearly. Bella had just learned how to ride and was in the process of teaching Allison how to 'properly' get on a bike when Juice had popped up out of nowhere with a camera. She could practically hear their laughter just looking at the picture.

Another picture caught her eye. She noticed it was different than all the others. It was the largest frame in the house and she noticed only one person was in the picture. It was an attractive man dressed in a military uniform grinning as he was photographed by surprise. Bella smiled at the picture. It seemed like such a natural thing to see him smiling so happily.

"That was the day he left." Bella jumped as the other woman's voice caught her by surprise. Allison walked forward and took the picture from her hands smiling down at it. "You know, sometimes I look at this picture and feel comforted knowing this was the way I saw him for the last time. Laughing with me." She kissed the picture.

Bella cleared her throat. "I meant to call-"

Allison snorted. "Yeah right." She set the picture back down and walked over to the couch. She took a sip of her beer and looked at her former best friend expectantly. "So what do you want?"

Bella followed suit and sat next to her. "Sam's gonna be bringing Emily down here in a few days. I'm gonna need you to watch her. At least until I get this shit sorted out with the club."

"Heard about the arrests."

Bella sighed. "Yeah well," She scratched the back of her neck awkwardly. "So will you do it?"

Allison looked pensive before nodding. As Bella got up to leave, she cleared her throat. "Where the hell have you been Bella?" She hadn't heard from her friend since she had left. Since she had abandoned them all. "I mean five years Bell? I was your best friend."

Bella didn't turn around, nor did she answer. She had known this moment would come the second she walked into Allison's house. The animosity Allison felt toward her hung in the air like an old stench. It made her sick and disappointed; and she wanted none of it. So she left. Again.

"Here they come."

Bella looked out the window of the office, seeing a black van pulling in. It was about time. She was sick of being cooped up in a small room with Tara, no matter how quiet the bitch was being. And Gemma-the woman made no small talk whatsoever, so they sat in silence for three hours waiting for Opie to come back with that damn van; and their boys.

She was out of the room first, waiting for her club members to step out as free men. She walked toward them and was ready to greet them until Clay shook his head and walked into the clubhouse. The rest of the men were sullen, only nodding in response to her. But she didn't really care about them. It was Jax her eyes craved; his absence grating on her nerves more than she liked to admit.

He was the worst. Covered in blood and bruises, he ignored everyone and tried to walk away from everyone. Tara and Bella tried to follow him but Gemma stopped them.

Not being one to follow the rules, Bella couldn't help but give a winning smirk to Tara as she avoided Gemma's gaze and walk toward her ex. She followed him to his bike, where he stood for a few minutes in silence, smoking. "What do you want?"

Bella shrugged. "Nothin'," She lit her own cigarette and they stood in silent thought. "You ok?"

Jax grinned grimly and shook his head. "You came over to ask how I'm doing?" He almost laughed.

"What?" Bella asked offended. "I can be thoughtful."

"Nah you came to piss off Tara."

She glared at him beyond angry. "My world doesn't revolve around that bitch."

Jax grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him. "The only BITCH around here, is you sweetheart." He spat. "You fucking crack addicted whore, you talk about MY old lady. The woman I love?" He had no idea where the words were coming from; didn't even know if he meant them. But he wanted her to hurt as much as he was hurting from his earlier exchange with Clay. He wanted someone else to be in as much pain as he was. "You're fucking pathetic." He pushed her away and got on his bike. "Do us all a favor and leave Bella."

Frozen in place, she vibrated with outrage and fury, unable to believe the humiliation she was just put through. By Jax of all people. She wanted nothing more than to reach out and gauge his eyes out of their sockets.

Instead, she snapped out of her stupor and walked back to her own bike. She knew she was going to need a fix. And that's exactly what she intended for the night.