You've got mail!

That may be the only thing in my life, that is keeping me going. I lift my shaking arm up and wipe the crud out of my eyes. Its a beautiful saturday morning and I'm stuck at home because its my dad weekend to take me. Stupid divorced parents. Stupid slow internet connection.

I click on the little mail icon; trying to be as patient as I can as I wait for it to load. Oh god, what if its just a bunch of fucking spam? That would be way too much pressure. I'd end up punching my stupid wall in for having to wait this long.

Finally, it loads, and to my disappointment. It is just a bunch of spam. Its always a bunch of spam. No ones going to want to talk to a freak like me. Especially on the internet. On the internet, I'm no one. All I have is a gaia which I never even sign onto. I've been told by my one and only friend that it looks 'noobish'. Which I was guessing meant it looked like shit.

I sigh. Click the X button in the top right corner, and rest my chin on the surface of my computer desk. What is there to do? My dad is probably still sleeping. I don't feel like getting up to make coffee nor do I feel like cooking. I only have one friend who is with his father in hell. God, Tweek. When did your life become so dull?

I groan, picking myself up, and staring blankly at my computers desktop.

I feel like writing.

I love to write. I used to write an advice column in my schools new paper when I was in middle school. Everyone loved it so much that when I decided I wanted to resign and hand over the position to someone else, everyone decided they didn't want to use it anymore. They, of course, didn't know it was me who was behind the advice column. To them, I was a girl named Sally Coleman. If they did. They wouldn't have wanted to read it.

Wait,

Suddenly, an Idea comes to me. An idea which would take some time and effort in getting noticed in, but an idea, none the less. And I reach my hand over to my mouse, and move it so the little arrow is over my Mozilla Firefox button. I double click, and as it loads. I ponder if this is really such a good idea or not.

My idea? Make an advice Column for South Park High School, Right on Myspace. Everyone at my school used myspace. It was like their place to chill on the internet. Or atleast, that's what Damien always tells me. He rants on about how lame the website is. And how much all the kids at our school are losers for using it.

But here the thing. At my high school, SPHS. I'm nothing. I was never anything but a shadow in the corner. People will pass me in the hallway and they won't even see me. But Sally Coleman? Shes the one who knows exactly what to say. Shes the advice queen with all the respect.

I want that respect.

Even if I get shoved around in the hallways, pushed into garbage can and constantly am made fun of during the day... Sally Coleman won't be. Shes anonymous. Everyday the kids in my school will walk through their hallways, looking for a girl. Never will they suspect me. She'll—or should I say—I'll- be sitting right in front of my computer screen. Giving advice, receiving compliments. Etc. And they won't have a clue. I grin. My idea is genius. And I can only see small flaws.

I quickly type in the myspace url, and when that's done loading, I click the blue 'Sign Up Now!' Button. I begin to fill out the simple information; stopping to make up a fake birthday. When I click the next button, it tells me to confirm my email address, so I open another window, quickly sign onto my hotmail, and look for the confirmation email. When I find it, I click on the link provided. Which takes me to a plain white page with the myspace Logo. In the middle it says: "Congratulation! Welcome to Myspace!".

When I click on home, I smile when the top reads; "Welcome, Sally Coleman."

Not "Get Lost, Loser."

Or "Suck my dick, spazz."

Just a nice introduction for a little girl named Sally. The first thing I do is edit the about me section. I had a myspace before and know how to use it and its simple html. I enter the correct tags to center my text and images that I want to put in my about me, and change the font size to something smaller,

And here it goes, I begin to write. Trying to sound professional.

When I'm done. I sit back, and look over my work.

Hello, and welcome.

Incase you don't remember or you happen to be new to the South Park School District, Some few years ago in middle school, their was an advice column. Ask Sally. Now, Sally doesn't exist. Who is really behind the column shall remain anonymous. But Ask Sally was quite popular, and me, anonymous, was the person behind it. I thought since myspace seems to be a big community chill site for our school, that I'd put the advice column here. Where you can ask questions out in the open, through comments, or in privacy. In messages. Top friends shall be random.

Just remember:

There are no stupid questions.

Just stupid people.

I pat myself on the back for the whole; stupid questions quote. I feel proud of myself. Like I am taking a step up in life. Even if it was just with online popularity.

The only thing to do now is to really add people. And maybe take Tom off. Because hes absolutely creepy.

So I quickly type in the names of a few kids I know, and discover, that my school has a group. This is fantastic, I think. What better way to get publicity? I click the "Join Group" button and shift a little nervously in my chair.

What if they all hate it?

The thought never occurred to me that they might actually hate it and will try to get it deleted. The thought made me sad. So I quickly clicked the sign out button on the top.

There was only one way to find out.

Just check back later, see if there are any replies.

--

xO

I love this fanfiction! This is my favorite one that I ever wrote,
Oh god, I was orginally going to use it to bash myspace a'lil bit. But it turned out a lot better than that. So haha!
Review, please. They make me happy.