Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

A/N: Note that this is not bashing. There are plenty of fics in which the characters can have non-canon relationships, as they act natural. It's when there is no true "character development" at all is what bugs me.

A/N: Inspired by QueenParody's parody.

You walk up to the door on which "Harry Potter Fanfiction Anonymous" is almost unreadably written. Underneath the sign is a notice that states that walk-ins are not allowed. This is almost unreadable too, not because of the writing, but because someone has scrawled "Vampirz rule, wizards drool ha ha ha" all over it.

You knock hesitantly on the door. Someone yells "It's open" and you walk into the room. Chairs are set up in a semicircle around a desk; all of the chairs are occupied except for the one nearest the creepy looking, white bearded guy sitting at the desk.

"Welcome," he says. "Might I add, this is Harry Potter Anonymous, not Twilight Anonymous." Immediately half of the people leave. You move over to a seat by a girl whose name-tag says Helen.

"Do I know you?" she asks the guy at the desk. Now that you think about it, he does look kind of familiar. He starts to lecture, but you ignore him, trying to figure out where you've seen him. Then you remember. He's the guy who wears the chicken suit at that fast- food restaurant; apparently he was shot down for the role of Dumbledore in the Harry Potter movie.

"Now that you've completed the outline of your fanfiction..."t he man says. You start. You look down at the blank sheet of paper in front of you and attempt to hide behind your backpack.

"Now might I add that these are completely confidential and secret," says the man. "Helen, why don't you read yours out loud while I videotape it for posterity."

Helen squeaks in fright, then composes herself. "I wrote a DracoGInny fic from Ginny's point of view," she says quietly. She looks around, then seeing that she is not going to be let off the hook, she sighs and begins.

---Cue parody---

Hi! I'm Ginny! I am a happy and extraordinarily vibrant person, as I grew up with a normal family, unlike some of the characters who are going to show up in this fic. I've never had a problem in my life...Tom Riddle? Tom Who? Of course I'm not mentally scarred from attempting to murder people...as I was saying, I'm very happy, and of course I have that darn Weasley temper.

Which leads me to the only problem in my life- my brother. Always butting into my relationships, ignoring my preferences; of course, I love him as he's my brother but... (checks script)...scratch that. He's an absolute git and I'm determined to show him up by snogging someone he doesn't approve of...(someone comes running in and whispers in her ear)...I mean, oh look, I've just been transfered into a 7th year Potions class. Oh no, I'm late!

I'm running, running...oh no! Crash! Great. Now I've landed on Draco Malfoy. OMG. HOT. As in godlike body, divine muscles (Ginny rambles on for 4 more minutes).

I'm in my Potions class and oh no! I've just been partnered with Draco Malfoy! We spend the class saying "Weasley" "Ferret" and completely ignoring our work.

I'm off to lunch and daydreaming about Malfoy while telling myself that I don't like him when along comes my roommate Mary (checks script) I mean my best friend Luna Lovegood.

What did you say Luna? I couldn't hear you over the glare of Draco Malfoy's eyes. A plot twist? I'm being sent on an exchange trip to Slytherin? OH NO!!! Oh wait. This will be a great way to annoy my brother!

So off I go to my room in Slytherin. Lucky me! I get my own room. I go off to class, but I can tell someone is following me. I spin around. Gotcha! Wait...it's Malfoy!

Later that night as a pass Moaning Myrtle's bathroom I hear someone crying. Who is it? It's... Malfoy? (Cell phone rings. Ginny answers it.) Oh wait, I forgot to list this as angst. Ignore that last bit.

Suddenly I can hear Malfoy behind me. I turn around to scream, so he tries to silence me.... by kissing.

OMG. HOT. (Extra brownie points if you talk about messed up hair). I run away, leaving Malfoy...I mean, Draco, staring after me. I spend the night sleeping fitfully, dreaming inappropriate dreams about Draco Malfoy.

The next day, we kiss again. I tell him he's gotta date me. We are in love after one day.

At breakfast, I chat with Harry Potter. Draco suddenly feels extreme jealously and punches Harry, saying "Get away from my girlfriend!" I don't think it's weird or possessive. I think it's cute.

Of course, that declaration causes all the Weasley clan to attack Draco. I fight against them and we all land in detention. They decide to accept it, because I'm happy (although they are all sullen) and Draco smirks. And smirks. We kiss.

Then comes the epilogue, where the marriage scene is shown. NOTE THAT I AM HAPPY.

---End parody---

The white-bearded man blinks. "Ummm....we'll work on that," he says weakly. "Class dismissed until next week."

You gather your stuff and head off to Twilight Anonymous.

Review please!