Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z.

A/N: I raised the rating because of the coarser language in this one.

Clucky

Piccolo hated babies.

They smelled. They cried, and the noise hurt his ears.

They were pathetic, just lying there like a big fat pile of goo, making strange noises and funny faces, with eyes that rolled around and never managed to focus on anything for too long.

Goten was the worst. Piccolo could tell the kid had power; anyone with the ability could have sensed it. But he just lay there, staring up the ceiling, waving chubby fists in the air.

It was even more horrible when Gohan insisted that he actually hold the thing. Before he knew it the ungrateful little shit had grabbed hold of his antennae.

The bloody kid had a grip like his father's.

Worst of all, though, was Piccolo's physical reaction to babies. It started with an odd feeling in his guts, and spread to his chest, and before he knew it his throat was becoming tight, and Kami and Nail were both urging him to just do it.

Go on, they whispered, you could have a son of your own.

Piccolo hated babies. They always made him feel like laying an egg.