Epilogue 1 – Zelda

It's a whole new world.

And am I… a whole new Zelda? The me that is here right now, is it the proper me or am I an aberration?

From the perspective of time itself, I really wonder whether my existence is welcomed or not.

These are the worthless thoughts going around in my head as I stare at the faces of those around me.

I had honestly thought I would never see my stern nanny's face ever again. That other me, the monstrous me, had so soundly swindled my body from me back then… I really thought I was done for.

And now, here I am. It is the night of the thirty-fifth day of the expedition. In the history that I remember, I would fall asleep reluctantly, be woken up by a mysterious avian attack, negotiate with a giant wolf, and call upon an eldritch-like horror of cold fury and logic named 'Zelda'.

That was the history that I remember, but the very fact that I'm awake and pondering such things means that time has already been altered.

Not only am I saved, I am privileged. The entire world was reverted, except me. Because it was reverted, it feels both as if the world changed to something new quite suddenly, and that it has become unreasonably old.

What in the world am I saying. I'm talking total gibberish.

Time travel. That's interesting.

!%$&*$# %**!

And –saved- was the word you used. Equally… no… even more interesting.

You're here! Did you follow me?

A cold tremor ran through my chest. Y-You! I won't lose this time!

I blustered at the alien voice in my head. Yet I knew I lacked information, technique, power, and even drive when compared to this opponent. She wasn't simply the strongest Zelda. No, she was much more and much less at the same time. She was also the most desperate. With ten thousands or armies of ten thousands men each, I would still hesitate to attack.

They said that nothing was worse than a lover scorned, but I never really understood that until I met that monstrous me.

He sent me! Picked me!

I argued like that. I was a little ashamed because, in truth, it seemed like I was still hiding behind the hero.

Liar.

I'm not! Remember? He said that you're too twisted! That it was my turn now! And… and he didn't want a happy ending!

He couldn't have really meant that.

Oh, he meant it! He was really finished with the Hero's path. How could you doubt his sincerity in those moments?

He said that?

What?

No, I can see it. The Hero… my Hero… why?

You, who personifies the path of heroism…

I don't understand.

You… aren't you the Zelda from the future?

I almost smack my own head.

Of course she's from the future.

I mean, aren't you from the future I just came from? You aren't, are you?

No way, were you always able to just browse through my thoughts whenever you wanted?

Even before I activated the triforce of wisdom? Were you really just in the back of my mind all along?

Don't tell me you could hijack my body any time you wanted?!

Who's body?

What?

Do you really think it's yours?

Even if you thought it belonged to you originally, you are a time traveler now, the very same as myself.

So either that body is mine, or it belongs to the Zelda that you replaced when you were sent back in time.

Either way, it can't be yours.

She's right.

I was neither the oldest form of myself, nor was I the youngest.

I was stuck in-between.

Then… what… what was I?

If I can't give a sufficient answer, then I'll probably, by this monster… be replaced immediately, right?

But do I have anything like that?

The only thing I can think of, which is too pitiful, is just…

I see…

You will do for now.

So she read what I was thinking about just then. Even more, she actually will accept something like that?

That's… kind of sad.

On something like a whim, Link sent me back. I was chosen almost at random, or maybe just as a process of elimination. But that was sufficient for monster me to remain in such an ephemeral state.

Hey… let's…

Let's share.

Share? I must have been really audacious when I was young.

Or idiotic.

I own everything about you. I was you.

I am "you +"

Myself whom I have discarded… you foolish child.

Yeah, right? This is a logic only a child can understand. But that's why it's effective. The target this time, Link, is a child as well. You'll never get him to love you with that tainted maturity.

So let's share. What do you think?

…

…

…

I received no answer to my impulsive request.

Maybe I wasn't even significant enough an existence to warrant such politeness. If she agreed, she'd do nothing, if she didn't agree; I'd have my body snatched by her in moments.

Nothing for it.

My existence was in jeopardy but as I calm down from the panic of both time travelling and meeting monster-me again I start to wonder something.

That was, did I love Link myself? Could I, with my future knowledge, make him love me?

And, most importantly of all, would making him love me be the right thing to do?

I recall the climactic altercations between the Hero and my future self and… I sighed.

Because it just felt like I was talking nonsense again.

"Highness?"

I snapped out of my daze. The night was reaching a late hour. As expected, the drill ravens attacked in the night. One of my Sheikan was injured, but would recover. I also negotiated with Marno exactly as before.

That hadn't been my intention, of course.

I had intended to refrain above all from mentioning Sir Link, or Lost, or in any way providing information to Marno that would cause her to run off and attempt to kill either one.

However, I don't know if I should call that beast stupid or brilliant, for she took one whiff of me and proclaimed me a scheming bug.

No matter what I did, that beast with her keen nose and her sharp senses ferretted out the information. Precisely because I was trying to hide something, her hunter's willpower was roused.

Before I knew it, the second greatest hunter of the world went chasing off after the first, and the situation was again primed for disaster.

I was left with my face buried in my palms and wondering whether fate was predetermined or not.

Your lies are weak.

The monster-me scolded.

Lies are not strong things.

The truth will remain the truth, even under a hail of scrutiny and disdain. But a lie will shatter upon contact with any contrary fact.

For you to dare to step in the arena of lies, you're a thousand years too early.

I scowled at myself, quite literally.

Well, whatever!

Fine then!

What am I, anyways? Just a princess, that's what! Not good for anything but looking pretty, aren't I?!

"Your highness?" Impa insisted. "What are you thinking? What would you have us do?"

I rounded on this nanny of mine. "None of my business!" I insisted.

In the distance, an echoing howl was heard. From the trees burst a scattering of birds taking flight in shock.

Ah, this.

"Hey, Impa." I frowned. "What do you want to do?"

Impa blinked twice. "If you're asking my advice, your highness, then –"

"No." I interrupted. "What do you want to do? In other words, what do you feel like doing right now?"

Imp looked at me in confusion.

"General." I addressed, turning to the leader of my half of our armed forces. "What's your pleasure? Want to run? Want to bunker down? Putting aside the book of strategy, what would make you happiest in this moment?"

What are you doing?

Came the inquiry from that echoing voice in my mind.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing was what I was doing. I was neither lying, nor crafting lies from truth, nor crafting truth from lies.

Forget it, I couldn't do it.

Or in truth, I was sick to death of it all.

I was sick of intrigue that didn't lead anywhere. I was sick of balancing needs of different people that couldn't sit down and talk without something on the line. I was sick of authoritatively commanding people that knew damn well that I didn't know what I was doing.

With a terrible start, I realized that this was the kind of feeling that had driven Sir Link to a world defiant rage.

"No answer?" I prompted my befuddled attendants. "Very well then. We're retreating."

The general and the sheikan looked at each other uneasily. "Highness, putting aside my personal… feelings… don't you think we should do something?" Impa asked. "If the Kokkiri is really important… or if Marno is… either way, it seems that we should make a more advantageous move."

"As a soldier, one must prioritize logic over one's instinctive response. We're already entrenched here, because we set up camp for the night." My general pointed out. "And any retreat would shake the men's morale, show weakness to the enemy, or betrayal to the allies. At most, we could bunker down here. At least, that is my humble assessment."

Another haunting howl echoed in the distance.

"Then stay if it so pleases you." I deadpanned, staring at my general. "Attack if it so pleases you." I insisted to my sheikan. "But I'm scared. It's creepy. I wish you good fortune, but I also bid you farewell."

I made it ten steps towards retreat when I found two adults scrambled up to me on either side.

What the…

Impa and the General…

They were obviously walking beside me with a relieved expression, weren't they?!

"Then the formation-" The general began.

"I trust your judgment." I replied petulantly.

"How should we convince to Terminans to follow us?" Impa asked.

But I had already realized something. It wasn't quite the wisdom that monster-me might specialize in. It was something else.

People's hearts…

"From the perspective of the Terminan delegation, their allies suddenly retreat. With the excuse that they didn't start the action so readily available, you really think they'll have the will to stay?" I pondered aloud.

… were not things that could be put aside, no matter what anyone said.

I stared at the havoc in the distance. Sir… No.

Link was fighting tooth and nail, perhaps literally, with the second greatest hunter, Marno.

He was thrashing around as me and my army watched. From the moment we had begun our retreat along Marno's path, we had not stopped. Even now, I watch the distant fight through a pair of military binoculars, sitting on the top of a caravan's canvas.

"Shouldn't we do something?" A panicky Princess Lillian fretted from beside me.

I considered the girl, and the hands she kept clutched in front of her chest.

I knew what she could do.

There was a better answer. There had been all along. Additionally, my older self must have known that as well. She just didn`t care for it. It did not force Sir Link into a position which would definitely lead to him empathising with her. And so in a perfectly cold sense of profit and loss, it was sub-optimal.

Yet, if I could be allowed to be indulgent, it was the path that I overwhelmingly felt like taking.

I looked the fidgeting princess, and holder of the item in question. "Why aren't you throwing it?" I ask. "You're scared right? There's monsters, right? Isn't that what you have it for?"

Princess Lillian looks at me. "W-What?" So scared. Like a child. Cute.

In place of an answer, I inclined my head towards her clasped hands. The Deku-nut Link had given her laid there, of course. What else would she be clasping? She was always clasping that thing.

Princess Lillian's eyes opened wide. "Do you really think I should? Is that wise?"

To this very topical question, I could only heave a soul-filled sigh through my nose.

"I think," I said slowly, "that we shouldn`t get caught up in what is wise. Wisdom is far from everything. Although it's been a hot topic lately… courage, as well, is also lacking. That's because when placed in a vacuum, they retain no value. It is foolish to fight bravely just to possess courage. It is wrong to deliberate with care for wisdom's sake alone. Such thoughts lead nowhere." Or rather, they led to terrible, awful things. Monster-me was living proof of a self-indulgent wisdom. A wisdom that ignored all that was not wisdom. "It's simply no way to live, Your Highness. The first thing you should ask yourself… the very first thing is: what would you truly wish to do?" I turn to her fully. Chest to chest. Face to face, though I had to look up. "Until then, if you value your very soul, you had better not ask me what the wisest course of action possible would be." I warn her. "I might just tell you."

I reach over then. And, I guess it is crossing a few lines of decorum, so I can't bemoan Sir Link's actions after this. But I use the back of my left fist to rap against her highness on the chest, above her heart.

Courage ostensibly had a purpose. It existed so that one could grasp freedom. Or rather, would not let it go. That was what Sir Link said. And when Marno gave up her freedom, she felt as if dead.

I had never really thought what the point was, to wisdom. Yet like Farore, Nayru was the patron goddess of two. Wisdom, yes, but love as well.

Was it love, in the end, that we should use wisdom for? For all the importance we make of rational decision making, should we still have to bend towards our hearts, ultimately?

I think back on my future self. I recall her wretched form as she proclaimed her feelings desperately to Sir Link's deaf ears.

She sent her lover seven years into the future. She didn't have the chance to love. At that point, she had written off the entire world. She intended from the beginning to undo it all. And she succeeded. She was indeed the strongest Zelda, for I could not imagine a more capable operative or a more pristine victory. She was the woman that saved the world perfectly, because it was as if it had never been in danger at all. And yet, somehow… I can't help but think, as I reflect on that half mad and writhing woman... that she should have done better than that. Not for the world. Thousands of lives were saved for the mere trauma of two? What an unquestionable bargain. But she should have done better for herself. She should have done better by her own heart. Even if it was wrong, her people would have understood. Indeed, they would have cheered for it.

I didn't know if Love really was the whole point of wisdom. Yet I knew now that wisdom on its own... that pure, perfect wisdom… had absolutely no point at all.

"And if you were waiting for me to handle this problem." I gestured vaguely at the warring monsters in the distance. "Don't hold yourself back on my account." I tell her highness. "The hour is so late, I might just retire."

Almost as soon as I had laid back on the canvas roof of this caravan, and closed my eyes, I heard the 'snap' signalling that Princess Lillian had used her final trump card. With even more speed than my future self had managed on her own, the fight between Link and Marno ground to a halt.

The howls ceased, and the gentle wind rustled meaninglessly. I began to wonder if that Deku Nut really did have some ultimate magic cast upon it.

"What… are you doing Lils?" Link whispered. He said so with a strained voice that carried despite all logic. It was a deathly whisper that cut through the air.

Through what means he had covered that considerable distance to arrive here, I had no clue at all. But I'm sure that a I wouldn't be surprised no matter what it was. He was deadly resourceful.

I still did not open my eyes.

Princess Lillian gulped nervously, as the number one and number two hunters both turned their attention to her small and weak stature. "I'm… scared. You said… you said to throw it when I was scared, if I saw a monster, and you'd come running. You'd protect me."

"Don't worry." Link said emotionlessly. "Marno will be dead soon."

"And… the monster?"

Bang.

Critical hit.

Weak.

Shut up, you.

It was good enough, and she knew it.

Link could not possibly continue to fight after that. He was too great a man to ignore the transparent fear and dismay that he himself was kindling within his friend.

But this gains nothing.

Everyone's happy.

This opportunity was squandered.

I am also happy.

Are you?

The question seemed honest.

Well… Princess Lillian was stealing the spotlight…

But I… I just wanted Link to calm down. I remembered how upset he was in the future.

I just wanted him to remain snarky, and brash, and childish for this journey.

I say, perhaps it's a woman's happiness to see a man happy. What a noble thought befitting of a lady of my upbringing.

What nonsense. What's the point in being happy?

The point is I'm winning.

Why? What's the point in being wise?

I asked this back with a snarkiness that was unbefitting of my royal stature. I could only blame Link's influence.

Again… maybe it was because I was still too insignificant an existence to her, but monster-me gave no reply. It was the 35th day of the expedition. As of now, I am still in control of my body.

A/N: That's it. Epilogue 1.

I promise nothing beyond this. I might post another epilogue, or I might never.

And…

What follows is an extremely long spiel that constitutes the story's afterword

Go ahead and skip it.

.

Afterword

Hello everyone, its funkmasterjo here. The weather in Canada this time of year suddenly goes from hot summer to brisk fall. Every year I'm surprised by this phenomenon for some reason.

Million Fang:

When I started thinking about Marno, Million Fang, and what it really meant to be the ultimate predator, I realized that after this reveal, there is no challenge. I would have power scaled my protagonist with not only plot armor, but a plot sword, such that literally nothing could be expected to defeat him. That's why even the most glorious battle when killing Avernus (and I had one thought out) would be an anticlimax. I thought about Zelda killing Avernus, and Gannondorf being revealed to be behind Avernus. But I realized this, too, would be a different anti-climax. It's an anti-climax of Link's battle with himself.

From the time I as an author dared to have badass!Saria say: " I feel like scissors, and Link is rock. And no matter how hard I may be; even if I were harder than any rock, I would still break upon him." my course was set. The wind would no longer change direction. You readers might not have thought much about this statement, especially because it's common that the Hero wins in the end, but that's because the Hero triumphs against all odds. Link at this point was working on Hyper-Hero mode. He was Hero, new game+++. He was so certain to triumph against all odds, that the odds were effectively 100% victory.

I think my Alpha reader was actually a little put off to be honest, because I had to reject a lot of his ideas after that. That's because, really, nothing could beat Link. When he said, how about he fights 'x', I had to say 'no, there's no point to such a fight.' When he said, 'then wouldn't it be interesting if Link lost?' I said 'there is no such thing. He cannot lose a battle. He could only die if the continent he was on spontaneously exploded. That's not a battle.' Of course he said 'it's boring if the main character cannot lose!' and that's very true but there was nothing I could do about that. Link+Defeat could not exist as a concept from that point on. If he had to fight Gannon, I was prepared for him to curb-stomp Gannon, even if there would be several instances where it looked like he'd lose, and the fight took five days and nights in the middle of the Gerudo desert. He would still curb-stomp Gannon because his victory was predetermined.

Even if Din showed up to challenge him to combat, I was ready for Link to 'win'. He would not win in power, nor would he wound the enemy, nor would he acquire a power anyway on par with the enemy, nor could he know more than the enemy, after all it's a goddess, but somehow he would 'win'. At that point, that's the amount of ranks Link had in heroic 'pulling through in the end'.

But it's true that Link should lose.

I believe that sometimes, the climax is where everything that was the constant theme of the story can be violated. When I thought about this, I gradually got more carried away with it, and in the end everything got turned around. The constants of the story were that Link fought a series of badass battles, while heading towards Termina, while hiding his identity as a Hero, with romantic sub-plots, and complaining about his lot in life.

I did my best to mess with every single thing I could on that list.

As a side note, the reason 'The End' was called that was because it was the last time Link would be voicing the narrative. I had no plans to end this story with Link's perspective. I even had no plans to end this story with Link onscreen, but it ended up like that. It's also 'The End', because that was the intention that everyone had. And also because it's the end of many loose plot lines, like the end of romance with Lillian, and the end of Link even pretending not to be the Hero of Time. Also of his winning streak. A lot of things ended. Most of all, it was the most climactic part of the story. Following that was only anticlimax.

About the ending… the end of a story is also a time where we look back and notice all the loose ends, and I saw so many. Really, just a ton. Then I said 'screw it' and grabbed them all and put them in a bag to shake them around. That's the kind of feeling I had while going through the last two chapters. The only reason I managed as well as I did, is thanks to 'This Game – instrumental version'. I'm not even kidding. That song just makes you want to throw in dramatic resolutions with a twist, in every chorus, and the song itself basically one long chorus.

I know that sounds like I was just shooting an automatic shotgun carelessly while on a rampage, but I had a reason for it. That's because I realized the nature of the 'true enemy'. The true enemy which we talk about in the last chapter was 'The Hero's Path' itself. That is, the very idea of a story, or even a fanfiction. That's Link's real enemy.

Because what he wants is freedom. He wants freedom to break out of this fanfiction where the author keeps putting him in situations to complain about. I make him complain about the crap he gets so much, he has to do something about it or it will be a messed up, masochistic story.

So I set about those tasks.

I had Link accept the part of him that likes to go on adventures, and help people, even if he still complains about the 'hero' title itself. What he doesn't like is the lack of freedom, not the work, and he wants to be able to take a break when he feels like it. But it's not just other people forcing him to do heroics. He needed to realize that he had the freedom in himself all along.

Also, the sword 'Resolution' didn't get to cut anything! When I got to the point where I was considering having Link and Zelda do a brief physical battle, I remembered about the sword and then I thought it would be great if it never cuts anything. It's only other point of note, I remember, was its history. So that is actually what sparked off the idea of having him swear that he lost.

In 'The End' everyone also figures out Link is the Hero quickly. And I pushed the romantic sub-plot to a head abruptly with Lillian. Originally, that love triangle was something where I really felt Lillian had the advantage. But I changed after a while. I planned for a months now for Link to pull the 'we're friends' line in order to flip this over.

To do the impossible and make Link lose, I could only leave it to Zelda.

From then on, I had to find a different meaning to 'battle'.

.

About Zelda:

Originally, Monster-Zelda was meant to be a character that only provided exposition, and moved the plot along towards Avernus. She was going to 'awaken' from young Zelda, so there would be no young Zelda anymore. This new Zelda was also meant to be almost as strong as Monster-Zelda, but not as crazy.

By the way, Monster-Zelda's sanity is an interesting topic. Every single thing she has done has made logical sense. It's not even 'oh, through some twisted logic'. If you feel that way, you're mistaken, and it isn't strange to be mistaken.

I want to say here that her logic is very straight. It's only that it stretches from horizon to horizon, and you cannot grasp the scope of the long view she has of events. If you could zoom out, although her plans may branch like crazy, the factor of logic itself would be a totally unbending line towards the future.

For you and me, our logic will avoid certain things in the way. It will bend and twist to move past things like 'morals' and 'decency' without bisecting them into pieces. Therefore it's your and my logic that's twisted, not Zelda's. And I hope no real person can have this kind of logic in practice, in the real world. We would probably call such a person crazy. Therefore, you can call Zelda crazy, but you can't say that she has twisted logic.

The real reason why Zelda stabs Link in 'The End' was not because I wanted a cliff-hanger. I honestly thought at that moment 'Zelda is being very emotional. Well, that was my intention, and it's touching, and this is the end so I can flip that cold character here. However, I should do a perfect wisdom check …" and I found that she had no reason not to stab link, so I had to derail plans and have that guy stabbed. It's that simple.

People might think, boy it should be impossible to write a character with ultimate wisdom. It was actually very easy. If it was ultimate knowledge, it might be hard, but what Zelda has is 'the ultimate ability to make a decision with what's on hand'. Then, what do you do when you make a decision? You, with your values, pick the decision or create the decision according to some metric. Whether you are doing it with love, happiness, or money, you have some things that you are making the decision for. Then, I need the ultimate metrics? I spent $500 dollars each on three philosophy classes back when I was in university, just to be able to tell you that there's no such thing. Not only that, there cannot be any such thing. From a purely objective, philosophical, cold perspective, the ultimate metric does not exist. That means that neither love nor justice nor honour can be the ultimate metric.

That is what makes Zelda an imperfect character. It is because the true perfect decision maker really cannot exist. But she can pick the metric arguably closest to ultimate, which would basically be utilitarianism. Then, you stretch that from one end of time to the other, because she will reincarnate forever.

Then, if you can just think of the literal best way out that fixes everything, then you can write Zelda. And that is not hard. Every Mary Sue writer in the world can do that regularly. Zelda is not a Mary Sue only by the fact that she has nothing but ultimate wisdom. It was this giant hole in her form as a character that drove her. Even though it did not affect her choices, it affected her character. Even though she always came back to the right decision in the end, she allowed herself to do slightly frivolous things, as long as they did not impact the perfect decision, when Link was on screen.

Because the monster-Zelda's motives and actions were very straight forwards from my point of view, I was really shocked when people only reviewed things like 'she's crazy' and 'wow, sad lady.' No one agreed with her way of doing things.

Lastly, I want to say that monster-Zelda really could have pulled the rug from under Link in those last moments, and there wasn't anything he could have done about it.

Not to do it was the one and only logic breaking decision she makes on screen. As a character, that is her finale. She ended with a wretched defeat and a betrayal of what she'd done up to that point, but in those last moments she approached what we would call human.

,.

The story as a whole:

Well, this was a lot of fun. I began this purely as a means to vent while working on a main project. This is the real reason why the plot of this story is so painfully simple. It's just a bunch of people going in a straight line towards Termina. Because of that I was also really reckless a lot. I've certainly been called presumptuous as a writer, or full of myself, or lots of things. I concede the point. I was really reckless at the end. I just did whatever I felt like. I have no excuses, because I simply got carried away. Sorry.

From here on, I can probably do epilogues forever. So, you might or might not see any more on this story.