Disclaimer : Sadly I don't own Twilight, It's all Stephenie Meyers.

So here's chapter 1. I hope you like it. I just had a random idea for this story and thought I'd try to run with it. Let's see how it goes. Review please.

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His golden eyes were boring into mine, radiating pure love and adoration. I knew my eyes would be reflecting the same emotions.

He leaned in as if to kiss me, but suddenly he was moving further and further away from me. As if he was being pulled backwards by some invisible force. His face changed. Now there was a hateful glare etched across his perfect face.

"Edward!" I shouted frantically. "No! Edward, wait! Come back! Please!" My voice wavered as pain tore relentlessly through my body. "Edward… I love you." I sobbed.

And then he was gone. I was overcome by despair and an overwhelming sense of loss. It felt like my life was ending. I couldn't take it anymore. I began to scream.

I jolted up into a sitting position in my bed, still screaming. I stopped suddenly, realising it had been another nightmare.

Ever since Edward had left five years ago, nightmares had plagued me. I shuddered as I thought about the darkest time in my life. I felt so alone. I wished I could talk to Charlie, but that wasn't possible.

Charlie had left me too. However, unlike Edward, Charlie hadn't left me by choice.

It had been a few months after the Cullen's had left. Just like any other morning I woke up screaming. Charlie hadn't rushed in this time, thinking that someone was strangling me in my sleep. He'd gotten used to the fact that my screaming probably wasn't going to stop anytime soon, so he'd adapted to it.

I had showered and dressed and made my way downstairs. As I walked past the living room I'd noticed that Charlie had fallen asleep in his chair. I went over to wake him up. He had a bad back as it was, and I was sure this wouldn't be helping matters.

"Dad?" No response. I tried again. "Dad?" I said it a little louder this time. Nothing. "Charlie?" I reached out and touched his hand, intent on shaking him.

But my heart spluttered as I placed my hand on top of his. He was cold. Deathly cold. The only time I had ever felt someone who had skin this cold, had been when one of the Cullen's had touched me. The Cullen's who were dead, their hearts did not beat and blood did not flow through their veins.

No. No no no no no no no no no no. Realisation began to set in. But I was choosing to ignore it. Charlie couldn't be dead. No. It just wasn't possible. Charlie was strong. He's lived through so much already. He just couldn't be dead.

Could he?

My eyes went to his chest willing it to rise and fall. But it didn't.

I let out a blood curdling scream. I couldn't stop myself. My father was gone. He was all that was left for me here. I needed him like the air I breathed to get me through each day. I continued screaming even as the tears started streaming down my face.

I guess at some point one of my neighbours must have called the police, due to my never ending scream.

I didn't know if they had knocked or simply barged in. But I knew they were there.

Deputy Mark pulled me against his chest, trying to comfort me. The screaming stopped, allowing me to hear what was happening, what was being said. I heard the other officer call for an ambulance, even though he warned them there was no hope. The victim had been dead for hours. After hearing that the tears that were still pouring down my face were finally accompanied by my strangled sobs.

It had been one of the worst days of my life. The wounds from when Edward had left were still fresh and sore, and now I had the death of my father to add on top of that.

After the funeral I decided I couldn't stay in that house anymore. It held too many memories of both Charlie and Edward. Before when it had just been Edward who was gone, staying here had been bearable but now I just couldn't do it.

Renee had asked me to come and live with her and Phil. I rejected the offer. I just had to be on my own for a while. I couldn't stand the thought of having Renee hover over me 24/7 just to make sure I was ok.

So with that I had moved into my own, small, one bed roomed apartment right here in Forks. I never met the people who owned it. I had sent my application to some random address half way across the world and was accepted without having any question asked, that was also where I sent my rent cheques every month.

I figured my landlord was either too nice or too rich to care about how on time I was with my rent. My job here wasn't very stable so I was often late when it came to paying bills, but I'd never been sent any scathing letters demanding money and no eviction letters had graced my letter box.

It was all of that, that had made me suspicious about this place. The address half way across the world. The kindness and richness. The leniency. The way this place was decorated. It was very modern when it came to appliances, but the furniture was all slightly old fashioned and made me feel at home.

It all had a pixie like touch to it.

Alice. The Cullen's. It would make sense that they would be renting out properties. It would be easy money for them and Alice and Esme would love scouting out new buildings and doing them up as they saw appropriate.

I could never chose what my feelings were about this. I felt safe, and in a way loved seeing as they let me live here (that is, if it's actually them) and treat me so well even though I never ever see them. But it also make me feel sad and angry. Because there are reminders of them everywhere and that's just to much for my broken heart to bear sometimes. It hurts too much to think about the life and family I lost out on. I had gotten so close, only to have it all ripped away from me.

I still couldn't find it in my heart to blame Jasper for what had happened to me. Yes, his attack had set this whole thing in motion but how was he to know that it would make Edward realise that he didn't love me? Exactly. He wasn't.

I missed Jasper. I missed them all, obviously. But I missed the way Jasper would just send me waves of calm. I could really use some of that right now. Sometimes, I had hated Jasper for using his gift on me, mostly when I was angry. However, now I realised it was something I had taken for granted, among many other things.

I sighed heavily and finally dragged myself out of bed and into the shower. The hot water helped relax my tense muscles, but only slightly.

Today was Saturday, so after breakfast I decided to just go get some grocery shopping done. I knew I'd regret it later if I didn't.

Such a simple task. Just another day of the week. Yet it still caused me pain.

I wondered what I would have been doing today if Edward had stayed. Would we be married by now? I was sure I would be like him, a vampire. He couldn't have put it off for this long surely.

I sighed to myself again as I contemplated the future I should have had. Five years had taught me nothing. Even though it tore at my heart, day in and day out I would mull over my would have been life in my head.

I couldn't help it. As I thought about it, it would relax me. I would live in this fantasy world in my head forever if it was possible. But that wasn't healthy. I had to come back to the present.

But I wished more than anything that I could go back to the past. I wished that I could go back and change something, anything that had happened along the way. Just as long as it would keep Edward from leaving me.

My wishes had never been answered.