AN: Hey. I've made quite alot of changes to this story and replaced a couple of chapters so yeah. Hope you like.

Have you ever brought up the courage to do something you wouldn't generally do?

Alex was a coward, sure he had defeated Scorpia and he'd had a pretty tough childhood, but the truth was that Alex was a coward.

So when Alex said no for the first time, MI6 were surprised, they were surprised and unprepared, but they should have expected it because the human mind can only take so much.

Alex heard the phone ring, he picked it up. "MI6 requests that you be at the bank…"And Alex said no. He screamed it down the phone, because Jack was still there and the house was now empty. Because her lifeless eyes were staring at him, boring holes into his mind, searching his soul.

Her eyes were focused directly on him and in his mind Alex saw that they were full of accusations, anger. Red was blossoming over her white blouse. Her fiery red hair was plastered to her face and her lips parted gently, it hurt.

Jack was his sister, his mother, his last living relative and one of the few links to his family. But now he had nothing, everyone was dead.

It his human nature to place blame, to judge, to make accusations.

Alex blamed MI6, but he knew deep down that everything was his fault, because if he'd just said no, then so what if Jack was sent back to America, she'd still be safe, and an orphanage would've been okay, anything would've been better than the life he was living now.

But he was naïve then, he'd been selfish and young. Sometimes truth is hidden for a reason, but Alex was curious.

Even after Snakehead and the horrors of his family had been revealed, Jack had begged him time and time again to leave, to run away, but he was too far in.

The missions, the adrenaline, were like nicotine and he couldn't say no.

Jack stayed, supported him, even when she found him slumped at the doorstep 2:00 in the morning, cut up and beaten.

Alex should've expected that Scorpia wouldn't just give up like that, so they killed her.

He dropped the phone; it slipped out of his hands and smashed onto the floor with a crash.

It hurt so much, he was sobbing and the tears were falling, he was crying for Ian, for his parents, for Ash-for being such a bastard, for Yassen and Jack and he was crying because God had made him a coward.

He gathered his courage or what little he had and just stayed there staring at the wall at the huge scorpian imprinted onto it.

They'd trashed the house, unturned drawers and smashed the TV. But Jack just lay there.

So Alex stood up and just walked out. He didn't bother to shut the door because MI6 would be there in a few minutes to figure out what the hell was going on and by that time Alex would be long gone.

Alex stepped out into the cool fresh air and his feet broke into a run.

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He knew that MI6 wouldn't be at his house for a few minutes yet, but he wanted to get away. He was going faster now, and the air was rushing past him, pushing against him, he wanted to forget but it was so hard because the image of Jack kept flashing through his mind and it hurt so much, so why was it so hard to forget?

The tears were coming back now and he was sobbing, he took another turn and he slowed down to a walk. He wiped the tears away quickly, embarrassed, the narrow street was empty and silent.

Alex wanted to smash something, he wanted to grab someone and just smash them into a wall before forcing out all of his anger onto them, he wanted someone he could control, he wanted them to feel the same pain that had been inflicted on him, because Jack was dead and that was all that mattered.

It was not fair, it was not fair that he had to be the one who was hurt time and time again; it was not fair that he was the one who was blamed, that he was the one who had to kill.

Life wasn't fair and he had to deal with it, but it seemed there were no limits to how much misery it could cause to one person.

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Alex sighed and ran his hand through his messy blonde hair as he walked towards the bus stop; an old man sat reading his newspaper and barely glanced at Alex.

Alex fumbled into his pocket and pulled out a wallet, "Thank God", he thought, he didn't fancy the idea of hijacking a bus; there were two tenners and a few coins, enough for food and to rent out a hotel room.

He slumped against one of the seats at the bus stop and sighed, he could rebuild a life without MI6, right?

Maybe get a job and save up enough cash for a house, he could forget about Scorpia, about the Chinese Triads, about all the missions, the people, his family, MI6, he could forget about them and live a normal life.

He leant his head against the cool surface of the glass wall and gave a bitter smile, maybe he'd think about starting a new family in a few years…maybe.

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Blunt stood and stared at the destruction of the Rider house.

He heard a small cough and turned around to face Mrs. Jones, her face was expressionless, her teeth cracked into another peppermint, "Sir, Alex has gone." She stated.

A flicker of emotion flared up in her eyes, worry? But it was gone in an instant, replaced by the cold mask of experience.

Blunt was worried, had Scorpia got him. No, Scorpia wouldn't make the same mistake a third time, they'd probably have Alex killed on sight.

Then Alex had run away. But what was Rider after? Revenge? Money? Was he going to use blackmail? There was no telling what he'd do in his state.

The missions had already made him emotionally unstable and this final blow had most likely sent him hurtling off the edge.

No. Rider was strong and as unstable as he might be, his moves would be calm and collected, logical.

He was on neither side and therefore neither MI6 nor Scorpia could predict what he'd do next. Alex was dangerous.

"Send a couple of our best agents after him, under no circumstances must he be allowed to leave the country, I want Rider in custody before tonight, alive." Blunt decided.

Mrs. Jones nodded and walked briskly away, to follow his orders, after all, Blunt knew best.

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Alex sat on a seat and gazed outside.

The bus rattled along and Alex looked, Alex saw the trees, the houses and the cars, the people all rushing past, all immersed in their own lives.

It felt like he was the only one moving, flowing with river of time that swirled and danced with the wind, fate. But every so often he was forced, forced to make decisions that would affect his whole life, forced to take a look and firmly plant his feet unto the river bed.

He would stand against the rushing waves, look around and wonder what he should do, where he should go. He couldn't go to Tom or Sabina; they'd immediately be put into danger.

He couldn't tell the "authorities", they wouldn't believe him anyway.

A man stumbled off the bus but as he passed the bus driver he stopped and passed the driver a small bundle of notes. Alex didn't notice.

They drove along for a while and Alex was shaken out of his thoughts as the bus lurched forward, they'd come off the main road and were moving along a dusty path through a dense forest.

Alex called out, "Hey, are you sure you know where you're going?" The driver didn't reply.

He shifted uncomfortably as he felt danger prickling against his spine; he turned around and with a shocking uncertainty realized that he was the only one sitting in the bus, it was empty. He'd been in such a daze he'd barely noticed.

The bus jerked suddenly and came to a grinding halt.

Thnx for reading and please review. :)