"You are?" Teyla asked, caught completely off guard. "Everyone else in the city thinks I've lost my mind. Why are you any different?"

"Because I am different," Stevenson said, sitting down cattycorner to Teyla on the dark lavender mat. "I'm Alterra."

"And that means what?"

"We don't raise our own children, not like Humans do."

"No?" Teyla asked, surprised. "How then are they raised?"

"Children of similar age are brought together at or near birth and form a maturia, usually numbering around 100. They become your brothers and sisters, though to a slightly lesser extent all Alterra are looked upon as family. Each maturia has 20 or so handlers at any given time that oversee and teach the children as they mature."

"You have 20 parents and 100 brothers and sisters?" Teyla asked, wide eyed.

Stevenson shook his head. "No, Alterrans have no father or mother concept. Each of the handlers is assigned a developmental stage, and spends four or five hours a day with a maturia at that stage. When the maturia reaches a certain level, the handler reverts back to a younger maturia and oversees their development. Each child will go through more than 100 handlers while in the maturia, with none lasting more than a few years."

"A relay system," Teyla wondered aloud, "with one parent passing the children off to another."

"Not parents," Stevenson corrected her. "The handlers are more like older brothers and sisters. Once we reach maturity we're all on the same level."

Teyla frowned. "The elders aren't given precedence within your society?"

Stevenson smiled. "When you live as long as we do, what year you were born has little consequence. It's your skills, abilities, and wisdom that matter."

Teyla raised an eyebrow. "How long do you live?"

"If we're not killed and we don't grow stagnant, then we have an unlimited lifespan."

"You don't grow old?" Teyla asked in awe.

"Only if you succumb to stagnation," Stevenson clarified. "What you call 'growing old' is a myth. The years you have lived don't cause the degradation, not even in Humans...nor Wraith for that matter."

"I don't understand," Teyla admitted honestly.

"You have within you many autonomic systems that regulate your body and your mind without conscious thought. These systems include your ability to heal. So long as the damage doesn't surpass your healing ability you won't 'grow old.' Alterran physiology is considerably more advanced, and our autonomic systems are far more robust than yours. It doesn't take much conscious effort to maintain our, for lack of a better word…youth. That said, some Alterra have chosen a stagnant lifestyle that their autonomic systems couldn't fully cancel out, but even then most usually lived over a thousand years."

"I cannot imagine living for so long," Teyla said, dumbfounded. "Our lives are so short, and made even more so by the Wraith, that we have focused on making the most out of the few years that we have. Dying of old age is seen as a victory to my people."

"A victory in escaping the Wraith perhaps," Stevenson said, shaking his head, "but it is not natural. It is a failure of your regenerative systems to cancel the damage accrued."

Teyla tilted her head at an angle as her breath caught in her throat. "Are you saying that Humans don't have to grow old?"

"Technically no," Stevenson admitted, "but the odds are stacked against you."

"How so?"

"During the maturation cycle your autonomic systems control most of your development, limiting you somewhat. When you are fully grown, the autonomic systems release certain elements to your conscious control, which is why adults are physically and mentally more capable than children. However, if that extra conscious control is not used, or is misused, degradation can occur that will exceed what your autonomic regenerative ability is capable of countering. If it can't account for all of the damage, but can handle most of it, you will see a gradual, even subtle deterioration occurring over many years or decades. This is what Humans refer to as growing old."

"How then can we avoid it?" Teyla asked.

Stevenson shook his head again. "There is nothing to 'avoid,' it is a matter of limiting damage and upgrading your autonomic abilities through training. That is why some people seem to 'age' faster than others. If one can get their regenerative ability equal to or above the continual attrition, then their lifespan will be unlimited."

"That sounds too simple."

"Far from it," Stevenson warned. "Life is not constant, and many adjustments have to be made, both internally and externally. Even with our advanced regenerative abilities not all Alterra live forever."

"Because with stagnation there is no training," Teyla began to catch on, "and with no training, one's autonomic systems aren't strengthened."

"And one is more vulnerable to environmental attrition…not to mention internal inefficiency, much like you're suffering from now."

"I am?" Teyla asked.

"The body and the mind are one…they cannot function independent of each other. What affects the body affects the mind, and what affects the mind affects the body. The internal conflict that you are feeling is creating a negative affect on your body. It is lowering your efficiency, which lowers your regenerative ability. A lower regenerative ability allows more damage to stack up…which further lowers your efficiency."

"And the cycle builds," Teyla said quietly. "Can such damage be undone?"

Stevenson nodded. "If you are able to increase your healing rate above your damage rate, then recovery is possible, but it rarely happens."

"Why is it rare?" Teyla asked, beginning to think through various possibilities. "It should simply be a matter of training, should it not?"

"Perhaps," Stevenson offered, "but usually the source of the damage isn't addressed…and at some point people simply give up trying to fight it, which hastens their degradation."

"And what of my source?"

"Sources," Stevenson corrected her, "usually more than you know exist. The big one right now is finding your center, which you're unable to do because of a conflicting loyalty."

"Between my son and the people at risk from the Wraith," Teyla said quietly.

"No," Stevenson disagreed, "between your misguided loyalty to your son and your loyalty to yourself. You have been compromising yourself on his behalf…which only hastens your degradation. We learned early on that those who train the children cannot become engrossed in the task, else they lose their sense of self and live vicariously through their charges rather than their own lives. This creates an incredible amount of internal conflict which must either be challenged or surrendered. When it is surrendered, stagnation ensues."

"So," Teyla said, trying to wrap her head around the concept, "my people…John, Elizabeth, Ronon, even Daniel…they were trying to force me into a situation where I would lose myself and stagnate?"

"They probably don't realize it…but yes."

Teyla thought about that for a minute, becoming slightly nauseous. To think what she had almost allowed herself to me pushed into…

"Which is why I am proud of you," Stevenson explained. "You challenged your instincts through logic and reason, allowing yourself to see the situation for what is was. You made a very hard choice, but it was the correct one."

"What do you mean, 'challenged my instincts?'"

Stevenson sighed, trying to figure out a way to explain the basics. "Lesser species have strong instincts that guide their actions. The most basic is preservation of self. It is the inner drive to save yourself no matter the cost to others. Humans, in general, maintain this instinct, but it is less intense than in more primitive species."

"Another instinct, more prevalent in modern Humans," Stevenson continued, "is to favor the family unit above all else. This instinct is the root of your internal conflict, and I image is the source of the animosity you have been receiving. Your actions have conflicted with the others' instinctual rules and they feel threatened by it. They aren't thinking logically, they are acting instinctually. You, however, are not."

"You have been able to see past your maternal instincts enough to realize that they were at fault. You did not erase those instincts, they are still screaming inside of you that what you are doing is wrong, but logically you know the opposite is true."

Teyla held her head in her head. "How then can I deal with them and clear my head?"

"The key is to first be able to break through their hold on you, which you have done. The second part is being able to see the truth for what it is. The more you understand what's going on within yourself the easier it will be for you to deal with it."

"Wait," Teyla said as another thought occurred to her. "You said the body and mind were one, which would explain the physical pains I've had in connection with giving up Torren…but what of Dr. Weir. Wasn't her mind separated from her body?"

"Yes, and no," Stevenson said vaguely. "Her mind couldn't function outside of her body, and was in a state of…say, stasis when the transfer occurred, then her mind reformed to her new body when…implanted."

"How then did her mind function as a replicator?"

"It was, ah, this is hard to explain in your language. Your vocabulary is lacking. Let's just say her nanite cells acted as her body, and as such had an affect on her mind, making her more replicator than just having a replicator body."

"She became one of them in spirit?"

"Partially," Stevenson explained. "Part of her retained her former identity, another part conformed to her new body. She was both, yet neither."

"For example," Stevenson said, seeing the look of confusion on Teyla's face, "if you and I switched bodies, after a year or so your body wouldn't look exactly the same because it would reform to my…core…and this body would conform to your core."

"Core being your essence?" Teyla asked.

"Yes," Stevenson said, looking as though that wasn't fully correct. "The body takes on characteristics of the mind, or core in this case. What I did was transfer Dr. Weir's core from one body to another. Her replicator mind didn't transfer because it's hardware. Her core was implanted into her cloned body, which with it came her cloned mind…think of it as a computer…and her core is the person operating the computer."

Teyla sat silent for a moment, soaking in what he had said. "You can make a copy of the mind, but not the core?"

Stevenson smiled. "Yes. Quite right."

"How then are clones made?"

"Clones are a copy of body and mind, but one cannot create a core. The cloned body I made for Dr. Weir was nothing more than biological hardware. Other clones are made in a different way. They are 'grown' from…let's just say they pirate the natural development of life in order to create multiple persons of the same form, yet each of their cores is unique."

"Well, what makes someone's core?" Teyla asked.

"That…is still one of the mysteries of the universe," Stevenson said.

Teyla frowned. "If you don't know, how could you transfer Dr. Weir's?"

"I didn't say we knew nothing of the essence of lifeforms," Stevenson corrected her. "We know a great deal, but we do not have the ability to create new ones. How a core is formed is still beyond our knowledge. After its formed we know a great deal, but how and why the core is what it is…has eluded us for a long time."

"That's also why we raise our children in maturia," Stevenson continued. "We have learned that the formation of a core is in no way tied to the parent lifeforms. The body and mind may be derivatives of the parental genetic code, but the core is not."

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning that Torren isn't going to be anything like you on the inside," Stevenson explained. "His body and mind may be similar to yours, but the person he is will not be linked to you. In essence the type of core an offspring has is a random function. We have not been able to find any correlation."

"You're saying that Torren, on the inside, isn't my child?"

"His core isn't. At least, no more than any other child. His body and mind are linked to you in common form."

"So my attachment to him is…"

"Instinctual…a superimposed emotion," Stevenson clarified. "There are no preset bonds. You form those during your life."

Teyla knelt with her elbows on her knees and cradled her head in both hands.

"I'm sorry," Stevenson apologized. "I'm probably talking over your head."

"There's no doubt of that," Teyla said sarcastically, "but some of what you said made sense. Thank you."

"Actually, that's not the reason I came here."

Teyla looked up between her fingers. "No?"

"You have spoken of your conviction to fight the Wraith. How serious about that are you?"

She looked at him incredulously. "I gave up my son so that I could fight the Wraith."

Stevenson shook his head again. "You gave up your son because you were being forced down a path you didn't want to travel. Your desire to save others from the Wraith is what helped you overcome your maternal instinct. Very little of that was really about Torren. So long as he is well cared for, this is an internal conflict that has to do with you and only you. Don't let yourself be deluded otherwise."

"Without Torren…I don't intend to stop until the galaxy is free of the Wraith. Every last one of them."

Stevenson smiled again. "That's what I sensed in you. The desire to help others you know nothing about is another instinctual drive, yet one that is beyond most Humans. I have that instinct as an Alterran by default. You do not. Therefore I can only assume that yours doesn't come from your body and mind…it comes from your core, and that is very rare."

"Meaning?" Teyla asked, though she thought he was giving her a compliment.

"As I said before, cores are random, so even the caliber of Alterra isn't assured. Our instincts and biology have a strong influence over our cores, but those abilities don't make our cores superior to those of lesser species. Our skills, knowledge, and power are superior, but the essence of who and what we each are isn't determined by our race. There were many Alterrans less of a person than you, Teyla. Though your body and mind doesn't match ours, you are not inferior to us...and are in fact superior to some."

"Thank you," Teyla said, genuinely flattered. "I think I understand what you mean."

"Not quite," Stevenson said a bit more rigidly. "You have proven yourself worthy, Teyla. If you wish it…I can make you Alterra."

"What!?" Teyla asked, wondering if she'd heard him right.

Stevenson nodded. "I have been given the power to transform lesser species into Alterra. It is not something I do lightly, but as I said, you have proven your worth."

"I…would become one of the Ancestors?" Teyla asked in a whisper of a voice.

"Not Lanean, Teyla…Alterra. The Laneans that you know of as your Ancestors are not our kin. They were less advanced than the Alterra, yet they were more advanced than Humans."

"I…I don't know what to say," Teyla said, her voice catching in her throat. "What about Sheppard and the others?"

Stevenson frowned. "Sheppard is annoying. Elizabeth is bordering on stagnation. Ronon…well let's just say Ronon's case has been complicated by his time as a runner. As of now, none of them are fit to become Alterra."

"Then I am the first?"

"Second," Stevenson clarified. "A wise Jaffa who I hold in great esteem was the first."

"Jaffa?" Teyla said, thinking. "I think Sheppard told me about them. They are from his home galaxy, yes?"

"Yes, Avalona. His transformation is nearing the end, so as of now, there are two of us. You would make three."

"What would become of me if I did?" Teyla asked.

"Whatever you wished," Stevenson said before starring her directly in the eyes. "But what I had in mind was grooming you into a super-warrior that I would send on solo missions against the Wraith. Would that be to your liking?"

"I would have your abilities then?" Teyla asked, her eyes gleaming with possibilities.

"Most of them," Stevenson said reservedly. "Some of mine are unique to me, such as being able to transform others in to Alterra. However, you will have all the powers that a normal Alterran would have, for you will become fully Alterran. Your Human genome will be completely replaced…including your Wraith genes."

Teyla's eyes widened even further. "The Wraith in me will be stripped away?"

"Yes, and the transformation will be permanent. You won't have any Human or Wraith aspects to revert back into."

Teyla laughed in spite of herself. "I had given up all hope of ever completely separating myself from the Wraith. When I learned of the Wraith genes I possessed a few years ago, I consoled myself with the fact that I could use the abilities they granted me and turn them back against the Wraith…but I have never liked having them. You said they would be completely gone, forever?"

Stevenson nodded.

"How will this transformation take place?"

"I will trigger a slower version of my own transformation. It will take around a year to run to completion. You will not have the knowledge download that I have been given, but your body and mind will gradually alter until you are fully Alterra."

"How will you cause the transformation?"

Stevenson pulled himself over in front of Teyla and stood on his knees. "All I need is a few minutes with you. The most pain you will feel is a headache afterwards. Just do as I do."

"Very well," Teyla said, standing on her knees opposite Stevenson.

He grabbed her hands in his, spread apart on either side of them. "One last thing. If you wish it, I can make you sterile."

Teyla thought about that. "I would be physically unable to have any more children?"

"Yes. If that's what you want. I only offer it as an option."

Inside Teyla fought a battle of wills, but in the end came to the conclusion that if she was to fight the Wraith with every fiber of her being it would be best to rule out the possibility of any distractions from that purpose.

"Please do," she said, trying to steady her conflicting emotions.

"All I need you to do is hold still," Stevenson said, tipping his forehead against Teyla's. She leaned into the familiar Athosian stance, wondering if this was normal or an adjustment Stevenson had made for her. When their heads met she felt an electric tingle along with a slight adhesive pull, keeping their heads lightly joined together. She settled herself into that pose and resigned herself to wait as long as was necessary.

Twenty two minutes later Stevenson broke their connection and told Teyla that it was finished. He also told her to pack for a several day hike through the forest and meet him in the gateroom when she was ready.

Fighting off a persistent headache, Teyla began to gather what she needed from her quarters while Stevenson left her to herself. She felt tingly all over, with an excited anticipation that nearly overrode her former emotional distress…the headache helped with that too.

After grabbing the few items that she needed from her quarters, Teyla stopped by the mission prep room, grabbing what gear and supplies she would need. She didn't know what Stevenson had planned, but she'd lived enough of her life in the forest to know how to prepare for a hike.

When she got to the gateroom Stevenson was standing in front of the already active gate. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"I'm staying here," he told her, "but you need to get away from Atlantis for a while and clear your head. On the other side you will find an obelisk about 80 meters from the gate. From there travel east until you come to a river. Follow it south until it crosses a large ridge. Cross the river and follow the ridge further east. Eventually you will come to a large lake."

"There are three islands. Your destination in on one of those islands. It is a secluded outpost that I visit on occasion to train in private. You will have adequate supplies to last you as long as you need. Take the time and find your center again…and take as much time as you need. You will do far more damage to the Wraith once you're whole than you will going after them while still incomplete."

Teyla flexed her left hand experimentally, then closed her eyes and let out a slow breath. "You're right. I do need to get away. I don't know how to begin to thank you."

"By proving that my assessment of your value is correct," Stevenson said simply. "I'll make sure the Athosians have everything they need, whether they be here in Atlantis or on a world of their own."

"If they do choose to move offworld, I'll make sure their new settlement has an adequate defense system against the Wraith. Torren will have everything that he needs to grow up safe and sound…and you will no longer need to concern yourself with his welfare. Make the break with him now, and fully so. When he grows up you can explain your reasons. For now, Teyla needs to concern herself with her own life…not Torren's, which will now take a radically different path from hers."

"I hear the wisdom in your words…but I fear it will be some time before I can feel them in my heart," she said knowingly.

"Time you have…" Stevenson said, motioning her forward. She stepped through the gate and began the journey to rediscover herself.

"Use it wisely, sister," Stevenson said, looking into the event horizon.