Look After You

Chapter: 1/?

Rating : T

Pairing: P/T

Summary: Set after the episode "Faces." After their ordeal in the Vidiian mines, two very different people find they share a common ground.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything, apparently. The title comes from The Fray's song Look After You.

Author's note: There will be some back story from Jane Taylor's "Pathways" so it will help if you have read that. This is slightly AU: it follows canon in some ways and deviates in others, especially later. Thanks to Pepper for the beta!

A/N2: I have noticed that all my line breaks have been taken out by ffnet, which means this will be hard to read. I don't have time to change it back, so if you're having difficulties reading, please read it here: wwwAstarry-laaAlivejournalAcom/5547Ahtml#cutid1 (replace A with . )

She can't stop staring at him.

Unintentionally. Deliberately. Subtly. Obviously.

And somehow, his blazing eyes always find their way to hers.

Ever since their time trapped down in the mines, his presence has become a source of comfort to her, and this very thought disturbs her. Everything she ever thought about him seems to be a lie. He's not some arrogant, self-centred, care-free pig. Well, comparatively. He's a man who knows the right words to comfort someone melting with fear and terror; who will stop at nothing to defend a comrade even though he barely knows them. He puts his life on the line not because he has to, but because he feels he needs to in order to do the right thing. She hasn't seen honour like that in her lifetime, and she's met plenty of Klingons.

Lately though, there's been a change in Tom Paris. He flies the ship as if on autopilot. Laughs and jokes with the crew without any true feeling and flirts with women (but not her; never her) with half-hearted interest. The fire in his eyes seems to have died, and she's shocked to find that she can't help but wonder why.

At the senior meeting, his usual rapt attention and witty remarks are gone. B'Elanna exchanges worried glances with Harry, and is relieved to know she's not the only one who has noted.

"He's been different ever since he's come back from the mines," Harry informs her during lunch. "I think whatever happened down there really got to him."

She nods in understanding. Tom isn't the only one suffering.

Every night the nightmares come.

She's being held down on the Vidiian scientist's operating table, and this time she is awake when he separates the two halves of her. It's excruciatingly painful, and she feels as if every molecule inside of her is being ripped apart. She doesn't realise until later that they are. She wants to scream out in agony, but she can't remember how. In her mind, she begs for death to release her from this, but knows it won't happen. Her mind somehow conjures up the image of Paris and Durst.

Kahless, let them be alive, she prays. Let them have escaped. But she knows she's wishing impossible things.

B'Elanna woke up sweating. She cursed when a glance at the chronometer told her it was only 3 am.

Feeling both restless and tired at the same time, B'Elanna pulled on her dressing gown and exited her quarters, aiming to find somewhere where her nightmares wouldn't follow. Her original intention of seeing the Doctor led her instead into the mess hall, nursing a raktajino. Hands wrapped firmly around the mug, she gazed around the completely empty room, and found that comfort did not come. No drugs from the doctor were going to provide an easy fix for what she was going through. The trouble was, she didn't know what would.

Before she knew it, she'd fallen asleep at the table.

Her Klingon half wakes up to find her human side missing. Extreme anger and rage ensures she breaks away to find her. She is aware of the power and strength coursing through her blood. She feels invincible, as if nothing will get in her way.

Until something does.

Her hopes of finding Paris and Durst alive are instantly dashed as she stumbles across the sight before her. In the place the scientist referred to as "Organ Processing" she finds their bodies. They're hardly recognisable, but instinct tells her it's them, just as surely as it tells her there is no hope left.

She kneels down on the cold, hard ground, and looks on in fury at their lifeless forms. Durst's face is missing, along with many of his organs and all that remains is a bloody pulp, that had she still been human would have made her throw up. She turns to Paris and the scene isn't any better. They haven't taken as much from him- his heart and kidneys, judging by the scarring. And his eyes. His beautiful, blue eyes. This seems to snap something within her. She stands up to her full menacing height. She'll find the monsters who did this. She'll rip them apart as slowly as they did to them, and when she found the one who had Paris' eyes…

"B'Elanna! B'Elanna, wake up!"

A familiar voice by her side…

She opened her eyes, disorientated, only to find deep, blue eyes staring back at her. She jumped in surprise.

"Tom?" her voice was raspy. "What are you doing here?"

"You fell asleep in the mess hall," he informed her.

"I did?"

He nodded, sitting down beside her. "It's almost 4 am, what are you doing down here?"

She fidgeted with her now cold raktajino. "I had a nightmare," she confessed, her voice still soft and human-sounding. "And I came out here to get a drink." Replicators in quarters not withstanding, she thinks. But hopes Tom doesn't question her on it. She's not sure he'll understand.

He looked at her intently, and she hated the way he makes her feel as if he can see right through her.

"What are you doing down here?" she asked him, noting the way his lips quirk at the question.

"I had a nightmare and I came out here to get a drink," he echoed.

She raised an eyebrow at him, and he smirks in return.

She wants to ask him about his nightmare, wants to know if they're dreaming about the same terror, wants to know if talking to him about it will ease the pain in her that's been growing ever since their return. Yet she can't seem to formulate the right words to articulate what she wants to say.

A moment of silence stretched between them, but instinctively she knows they're thinking about the same thing.

"Hey, B'Elanna?"

She looked at him again.

"If you ever, you know, need someone to talk to, I'm here."

She's surprised at the earnestness in his eyes. She nods, and he places a hand on hers reassuringly, before getting up and leaving.

It's not until after he's gone that she realised that whilst talking to her, the fire in his eyes had been blazing.

The next morning, she stumbled into the mess hall for breakfast, feeling drained from her lack of sleep. She found a solitary spot at the back of the mess hall, and tried to drink her coffee without falling asleep in the process. For a moment a sense of wistfulness passed over her. Had Seska still been here, she'd be teasing her about her tiredness. Seska wouldn't care about what B'Elanna was going through, nor could she ever understand, but she'd be a comforting kind of company. With her gone, the only people she could call friends were Chakotay and Harry. But Chakotay barely had a spare moment for himself, let alone her, and Harry divided his free time between her and Tom, though spent more of his time with Tom. Not that she was resentful, it just made her realise how isolated she felt at times like this.

Speaking of Tom, she spotted him sitting on the other side of the mess hall, without Harry in sight. She didn't feel like she knew him well enough to sit with him, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to. The Vidiian mine incident withstanding, her opinion of Tom prior to it was dubious at best.

She frowned when she realised she's started to refer to him mentally as "Tom," rather than "Paris," or one of her favourites, "Pig-face."

Another surreptitious look at him, and she found that he looks how she feels. Tired and drained. There are dark shadows under his eyes, and he seems to be struggling to pay attention to the greetings of many passers-by.

As if he could feel her watching him, his gaze caught hers, and she flushed when she realised she'd been caught. He gave her a short smile, but it took a while for her to return what she thought was one back. It took longer still for her heart to steady, although she wasn't sure why.

Gaze now firmly glued to her coffee mug, she refused to look back at him. The movement of people around her told her it was time to begin her shift. Momentarily closing her eyes, she drew out a long sigh.

It's going to be a long day.