The Ultimate Konoha Idol!

By Tru and Neko

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto.

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CHAPTER 10: Youthful Freak vs. Hokage Wannabe!

"Next up is…"

I hope Naruto is next! thought Hinata hopefully.

"…Rock Lee."

"Okay! You caught me!" shouted Lee. He swiftly climbed onstage. At the top, he fell down.

"As soon as I said I wanted to be last, I was thwarted! It's a natural law! You can throw a stone at a telephone pole time and again and never hit it…but the minute you aim to miss, you end up hitting the thing dead center. I didn't really want to be the final act anyway!"

"Go, my beloved protégé!"

"Don't keep me waiting," dared Gaara.

"I'm singing a very youthful song!" said Lee.

"We could guess," muttered Naruto.

The music started.

"I know this song!" gasped Kankuro.

"Young man, there's no need to feel down, I said young man, pick yourself off the ground, I said young man, 'cause you're in a new town, there's no need to feel unhappy. Young man, there's a place you can go, I said young man, when you're short on your dough, you can stay there, and I'm sure you will find many ways to have a good time!"

"Go, Lee!" shouted Sakura.

Lee threw his hands in the air, forming the letter 'Y'.

"It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A! It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A! They have everything for you men to enjoy! You can hang out with all the boys! Y.M.C.A! It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A! You can get yourself cleaned! You can have a good meal! You can do whatever you feel!"

To impress Sakura, Lee decided to perform the forward Lotus on a tree. Unfortunately, it didn't work, and Lee stubbed his foot.

Guy leaped onstage, and a Lee/Guy moment inevitably happened. Guy gave a lecture about mistakes, youth, and why you don't use the Lotus on trees.

This took up a whole verse. Lee's punishment for using the Lotus (or trying to) without permission was to run 500 laps. Lee did this while singing.

"It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A! It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A! They have everything for you men to enjoy! You can hang out with all the boys! Y.M.C.A! It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A! You can get yourself cleaned! You can have a good meal! You can do whatever you feel!"

It took the rest of the song for Lee to do his laps. At the end, he sang:

"And I would run 500 laps, and I would run 500 more just to be the man who ran 1000 laps to fall down at your door!"

"…" said Neji.

"I think he's talking to you, Sakura!" giggled Naruto. "But don't worry. I'll protect you from old Bushy Brows!"

Sakura was wondering if she would prefer Naruto or Lee. The youthful freak with creepy eyebrows, or the idiot Hokage-wannabe. She chose Lee.

"SHUT UP!" she screeched, whacking Naruto upside the head.

"Ow!" he yelped.

Before a full-scale battle could commence, Iruka called the last name.

"Uzumaki Naruto!"

"Finally! It's my turn! I'll show you all my mad singing skills!"

"Hey!" cried Temari. "We didn't judge yet!"

"He sucks," said Gaara.

"I can't argue with you on that," agreed Kankuro.

"Well…" said Temari. "The Lotus thing sucked."

There was the third Lee/Guy moment that day when Lee began crying over the fact that all three judges had said that he sucked.

"Okay, MY TURN!" shouted Naruto.

He began doing a funky dance to the African music that had started.

"I'm gonna be a mighty Hokage, so enemies beware!"

The Third Hokage jumped in.

"Well, I've never seen a Hokage with quite so little hair!" He shook his head.

"Speak for yourself, old man!–I'm gonna be the main event, like no Hokage was before! I'm brushing up on looking down, I'm working on my ROAR!"

At this, Naruto tackled the Hokage.

"The lad's certainly got some energy," noted Kakashi.

"Thus far, a rather…uninspiring thing," gasped the Hokage as soon as he managed to get up into a sitting position. He sung his line, then he fell back down.

"Oh I just can't wait to be HOKAGE!"

"You've rather a long way to go, young master, if you think-!"

Konohamaru and his little friends ran onstage.

"No one saying do this!" Konohamaru shouted.

"Now when I said that-" started the Hokage.

"No one saying be there!" Moegi said.

"What I meant was-"

"No one saying STOP THAT!" Konohamaru overrode him hyperly.

"What you don't realize-"

"No one saying see here!" sang Moegi.

"Now SEE HERE!"

"Free to run around all day!" sang Konohamaru, easily running out of his grandpa's grasp. Giggling, he, the other little kids, and Naruto raced in circles around the Hokage.

"Well, that's definitely out-"

"Free to do it all my way!" Naruto ran to center stage, dancing with his arms in the air.

Iruka climbed onstage to stand beside Naruto. "I think it's time that you and I arranged a heart-to-heart!"

Naruto pushed him aside. "Hokages don't need advice from little shinobi for a start!" he sang girlishly. "Except over a bowl of ramen."

"If this is where the monarchy is headed, count me out! Out of service, out of Konoha, I wouldn't hang about! This child is getting wildly out of wing…"

"Oh I just can't wait to be HOKAGE!" Giddily Naruto hopped around the stage. An interlude in the song began. Kankuro was climbing onstage with all his puppets.

"But you said you'd play ninja with us, boss!" protested Konohamaru.

"Hokages don't need advice from little kids for another start!-Everybody look left!"

He used his Sexy Jutsu.

"Everybody look right," he sang (in a girly voice), like nothing happened.

He transformed back.

"Everywhere you look I stand in spotlight!"

"Not yet!" muttered the Hokage.

"Let every creature go for broke and sing! Let's hear it in the herd and on the wing! It's going to be Hokage Naruto's finest fling!" all three little kids, Kankuro, and the puppets sang.

"Oh I just can't wait to be HOKAGE! Oh I just can't wait to be HOKAGE! Oh I just can't waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait to be HOKAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Naruto yelled.

BOOM!

That was Naruto punching Sasuke while Naruto jumped into the audience, expecting to be caught by fangirls (coughcoughSakuracoughcough), but Sakura was catching Sasuke, and Naruto was left to fall on an empty chair.

"Owww," he groaned.

"Oww," moaned a small voice under him. It turned out the chair was not empty, after all; he had fallen on top of Hinata!

"Sorry, Hinata!" apologized Naruto. He leapt off the chair.

Hinata turned red in the face.

"What's happening?" asked Naruto. "You're all red, and you look like you're going to faint!"

Hinata did faint.

"So…" said Temari, "I guess we should judge now. I thought it was a pretty lively song."

"You kept my puppets in peace!" gasped Kankuro happily. "Only criticism is that there were too many little kids in it."

"Hey!" shouted Konohamaru.

"Boring," hissed Gaara. "If it wasn't for the fact that you were shouting the lyrics at the top of your lungs, I would have fallen asleep."

Naruto was ANGRY.

"WHEN I'M HOKAGE, YOU'RE GOING TO WISH THAT YOU TREATED ME WITH MORE RESPECT!!!!!"

"Right, and Kankuro's going to destroy puppets and become obsessed with Barbie."

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT??!?!?!?!??!! I HATE BARBIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Maybe…puppet obsession is just another really long stage for Kankuro?" suggested Temari.

Iruka intervened. "All right, all right, that's enough. Now, I believe everyone's finished singing. It's time for the final decision. Eight of our twelve – Shikamaru having forfeited and Haku joined – contestants will go on to the next round! Let's hear it for each of them and their bravery of coming up here to sing for us!

"Aburame Shino with 'I Am A Rock'!

"Uchiha Sasuke with 'Move Along'!"

The fangirls went wild.

"Nara Shikamaru with '59th Street Bridge Song (Feeling Groovy)'!

"Haku…uh, not sure what your last name is…with 'In My Head'!

"Tenten with 'Behind These Hazel Eyes'!

"Yamanaka Ino with 'Fairy Godmother Song'!

"Inuzuka Kiba – and Akamaru – with 'Who Let the Dogs Out?'!

"Akimichi Choji with 'I Like to Move It'!

"Hyuga Hinata with 'Hopelessly Devoted to You'!

"Hyuga Neji with 'The Reason'!

"Haruno Sakura with 'Little Voice'!

"Rock Lee singing 'Y.M.C.A.'!

"And last but not least, Uzumaki Naruto with 'I Just Can't Wait to be King', or Hokage in his case."

Iruka waited for the applause to quiet before he continued, "Now, judges, we need your final decision."

Temari and Kankuro glanced at each other while Gaara stared coolly at Iruka. "Uh, huddle," Temari said, leaning toward her brothers. The judges conferred in whispered tones for a few minutes (Gaara didn't say much). Eventually Temari emerged.

"All right, we've got our eight candidates!" she chirped.

To be continued...

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Who will go on, and who will stay behind? :P Find out next time on The Ultimate Konoha Idol!