He'd deleted the crew, Beverly realized as she walked onto the holodeck. The tall ship Enterprise sailed a virtual sea, Captain Picard standing up in the bow, out of either uniform. The USS Farragut wasn't the Enterprise, but being captain still got him holodeck privileges. They'd had little time to talk since the Enterprise had met her untimely end.

Jean-Luc had been quiet, and more reserved than usual since Veridan III. Even after they'd talked about the fire, he had trouble meeting her eyes. Breakfast had started up again between them on the long, slow trip back to Earth for reassignment but there was something unsaid in the room with them.

She'd thought about it all afternoon. Beverly had listened to his story of the Nexus and his discomfort that his wife had been wrong. He couldn't elaborate, Jean-Luc was at a loss for words when they discussed it, but it was bothering him.

She had finally realized what it was. After that, it had been a simple choice.

"You didn't seal the holodeck," she greeted him as she walked across the gently moving deck.

Jean-Luc made a sound vaguely like a snort in the back of his throat. He picked idly at the rope lying at his feet and leaned back against the mast. "Perhaps my desire to be alone is weaker than I thought."

"I've made a mistake," Beverly started. Crossing her arms over her chest, she leaned against the mast above him and stared out at the stars over the sea. "I don't have any siblings. My parents are gone. Nana's gone. In his own way, Wesley's gone. You, whatever I have allowed you to become to me, are all I have."

His head whipped up and the rope in his hands dropped to the deck with a thud. "Beverly?"

"I was afraid of losing you," she continued bluntly. "With few exceptions, letting someone into my heart leads to me losing them. After Kesprytt--"

Jean-Luc reached up and squeezed her arm. "You don't have to--"

"Dammit," she snapped and knelt down on the deck next to him. "Why didn't you follow me into the hallway and tell me I was an idiot?"

He paused, surprised. "You were--"

"Being selfish and afraid," she corrected him before he could finish. "I didn't get to see the Nexus. I have no idea what it's like to get to experience that kind of perfection. I don't know what I would have seen if I had. Perhaps Jack, maybe my parents, maybe myself finally getting over my stupid, stupid fear of being happy."

"We're both idiots," she continued, shaking her head and tossing up her hands. "We're being rediculous. You're alone. I'm alone."

"Beverly--"

"I know what was wrong with the Nexus," Beverly promised as she grabbed his cheeks with her hands. "That woman, your fantasy wife, you expected it would be me."

His stunned expression faded into gentle regret. Jean-Luc held her arms and smiled at her. "There are some lines I am afraid to allow myself to cross, even in my fantasies."

She traced his bottom lip with her thumb before she kissed him. She'd come so close to kissing him over the years and never done it properly. Beverly grabbed him. His ear folded beneath her thumb, his lips parted in surprise and she invaded his mouth. His sigh of surprise faded, his lips relaxed and everything was finally right. The heat of his lips crept down her body and the simulated sea breeze made her shiver.

Her lips were still wet when they parted. Resting her forehead on his cheek, Beverly calmed. Her nervousness was gone. "I deactivated my fertility inhibitor," she announced. "I know it's soon. I know you might not be ready, but it might not happen right away and I thought we should start now."

Jean-Luc pulled his head back, shock etching the lines of his face smooth.

"You and I are going to have babies," she promised him brazenly. "I didn't know it was what you wanted. I idefinitely/i didn't know it was what I wanted." Beverly straddled his lap and rested her hands on his shoulders. "But this is right."

With the weight of her body on his lap, Jean-Luc couldn't have stood if he wanted to. Whatever his personal demons, his body enjoyed her presence on his lap and he started to warm beneath her.

"Beverly," he protested weakly. "We--"

She shook her head and kissed his upper lip. The stubble tickled her lips. "Life is short, seize the day, I've known since Kesprytt I am the one woman you want most in the whole damn universe and I'm here, Jean-Luc. I'm not going anywhere. Stop thinking and--"

He took her advice before she finished speaking. The end of her words were swallowed by his mouth and his hands stopped sitting on the deck and grabbed her breasts hard through her thin green sweater. It was rough, passionate and unrestrained. Beverly ground her hips down and and sighed as Jean-Luc started pulling off her sweater.

Her hair tangled in her sweater and he had to release one of her breasts to free it. His hand ran down her spine and released the clasp of her bra. His mouth dropped to her breast and sucked as he pulled the fabric away. Jean-Luc stroked the smooth white skin of her breast before taking the pink nipple into her mouth. Beverly groaned, surprised at the speed she'd become aroused.

Jean-Luc lifted her off, kissing her neck as he dragged them both to their feet. Pushing him back against the mast, she pulled his simple blue shirt free of his trousers and tossed it aside. He paused and seemed about to speak, so she reached into his trouser front and wrapped her fingers around his penis. Caressing the hardening length of him, she chuckled wickedly and hushed his voice.

"Below," he suggested and it came out in a grunt.

Beverly dropped her bra on the deck. The cool air chilled the damp spot he'd left on her breast. The door to the captain's cabin creaked as she pushed him against it. Pulling his trousers open, she groaned when he toyed with her clit through the fabric. Her pants were thin and the seam taunted her through her panties.

The palm of his hand was almost better than his fingers and he shoved her against the opposite site of the tight hallway. Jean-Luc went for her other breast and sucked until she gasped. Her shoes slipped off. It took a little more work to get him out of his boots but they managed.

The captain's cabin was dark, but everything was against the walls. Jean-Luc guided her towards the bunk, easing her pants lower and lower on her hips as they stumbled back. Her ass nudged the bunk and then he lifted her up onto the edge. Pulling her pants and underwear free of her long legs, he insinuated himself between them and grabbed her upper thighs.

Weaving her hands through his arms, she shoved his trousers and the tight black briefs beneath them down. Beverly ran her hand the length of his dick twice, teasing him fully erect. She bent down and took his penis up into her mouth. Letting her jaw relax, she felt the smooth, hot skin run over her tongue. His sigh made her ache. She took him in again and sucked the tip before she let him go.

His eyes were dark as he lifted her head and kissed her. Wetting them first with his tongue, Jean-Luc ran two fingertips over her clit. She groaned and inhaled sharply as he shoved them down and up. The hard base of his fingers stayed on her clit, but his fingers reached inwards and curled up.

Dragging his hand away, she stopped kissing him. Guiding the head of his penis to the place she'd just torn his fingers from, Beverly pulled him close. Penetration both stung and filled her with heat. Panting into his neck for a moment, she caught her breath. His damp fingers squeezed her breast and his lips found their way back to her mouth.

The smell of wood, sea and sweat filled her nostrils. His tongue was insistent beneath hers and Beverly could barely breath when he began to move. The ship rocked with him, much gentler than his motion, but the counterpoint made her head swim. His hips rolled beneath and up into hers. His first thrust stung, and she moaned. His hand snuck down from her breast and started circling her clit. The tightness of her vagina around him increased and the next thrust was heavenly.

Wood creaked, his breath came in low grunts, and she pulled him closer. Kissing became too intense and she buried her face in his neck. When the ship pitched towards him, orgasm threatened her like a summer storm, but his came first. The stiffening of his body in her arms and the hiss of his breath sent a shiver through her. In her arms, Jean-Luc Picard was just a man, and he felt no shame. Still wrapped together, Beverly felt her own climax fade. The storm was still on the horizon but she'd have to let him rest before they tried again.

She rested her hand lazily on the tight muscle of his ass and tried to catch her breath. He kissed her neck, then her chest, and finally Jean-Luc started to lay her down on the bunk. He dragged her hips forward and bent to kiss her stomach. His mouth left a hot trail down until he hit the reddish curls. Running his hand through them instead, he parted her labia with a fingertip and lowered his mouth. Just having his tongue against her clit was like a cannon shot in her brain.

He chuckled and flicked her clit with his tongue before he sucked it deeper into his mouth. Jean-Luc bent her legs back, letting one of them rest on his shoulder. One hand grabbed her thigh and the other splayed flat over her stomach. His tongue rolled over her clit, forcing it from side to side before he--

Beverly had no idea what. Her physician's mind was spent. The heat ran in dark waves, dragging her from the ability to focus until sparks took her brain. In her right mind, she would have known it was just blood flow. In the bunk, it took her, like a whirlpool sucking her in. She was still gasping when he crawled into the bunk next to her and held her.

Beverly's fingers were trembling and he held them safely against her chest. The water lapped on the hull outside. His breath hummed in her ears. Her own heartbeat rushed louder than anything else, but she could feel his beat calmly against her back.

Jean-Luc kissed her shoulder, then the back of her neck. "Babies?" His voice was gruff and deep.

She shivered and had to try twice before her voice formed words. "I've always wanted a few. Seems like you're up to it."