Author's Note: Thank you to everybody who reviewed chapter two. Numbers went up but I was really busy this week so I couldn't respond to everyone individually. Here's the Monday update but it's late so you'll probably read this on Tuesday if at all. I have an IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT to make. Not just for this story but all my others as well. ALL scheduled updating is CANCELLED for the next TWO WEEKS. I have state exams and I need to study. So sorry. But there'll be major updating after. Maybe a few one shots.
And I am also starting a contest for you to mull over while I'm studying and not updating. i will write a one-shot prompted by the person who reviews and suggests to me the best quote they can find to sum up this chapter. See if you can do better than my own ones.
Thanks again for reading and (possibly) reviewing!
Disclaimer: I do not own the Alex Rider series. Emily is mine.
Just A Simple Fix
We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same - Anne Frank
The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted - Mother Theresa
Chapter Three
Emily was quietly impressed by the lobby of her new prison, Saint Sebastian's Psychiatric Hospital. She wondered who Sebastian was and what he'd done to have such a fancy hospital built in his name. The lobby looked rich; all of the brown and black fabrics covering the lush couches and chairs complimented the paint on the walls. There were plants everywhere and it didn't smell like a hospital. The corridors leading off the lobby were marble and on the walls were different prints depicting scenes of peace and tranquility.
Emily felt slightly more whole when she looked at the pictures. Some elements of the known remained, anyway. Her hair hung down over her eyes, loose. She fidgeted slightly, nervously picking at the sleeves of her sweatshirt. She was thankful it was raining; rain meant she could get away with wearing long sleeves a little bit longer, hiding what she didn't want others to see.
She gripped her duffel bag tighter when she heard the familiar clack of high heels on tiles. It was a common noise in hospitals, feet scuffing the floor. She glanced up and found a woman in a white blouse and black slacks bearing down on her. She had red hair and a dusting of freckles and pale skin. She wore a smile that was supposed to be friendly and welcoming but Emily knew that smile. The 'I-don't-care-about-you-I-just-want-to-get-paid' smile.
The woman held out a hand and it hovered for a minute between the two of them. Emily ignored it and eventually it was removed with another smile.
"You must be Emily Mary Rose. I'm Dr. Grace Ryan. You can call me Grace, if you want. Some of the little ones even call me Gracie. Welcome to Saint Sebastian's" she said, her smile widening. Emily wondered just how many times a year she repeated those exact sentences to the exact same type of people.
The woman, Dr. Ryan, hovered amicably, not leading the way anywhere. Emily would have frowned but she didn't. She didn't like to show any particular expression. It was easier to get past people if they believed you to be relatively calm and well adjusted. Perhaps she was waiting for Emily to say something in reply?
"The little ones?" she said slowly, mulling the words over. Dr. Ryan smiled and nodded.
"Yes. We deal with minors of all ages here for all kinds of treatment. It would be inappropriate to have minors and adults sharing the same building. We work with a lot of young children dealing with death of parents, witnessing of murder, abuse; that kind of thing. But it's mostly teenagers here" Dr. Ryan said, smiling. She turned then as if to leave and Emily did frown. She knew the drill. They were supposed to search your bag and remove any 'detrimental' items.
"You're not gonna check my bag?" she asked incredulously. Dr. Ryan pursed her lips and looked Emily up and down twice.
"Why? Have you got something in your bag that you'd like me to see? I don't what you're expecting Emily, but this isn't some kind of prison. You've trusted me to help you and now I'm trusting you not to bring anything in here that might be harmful to you or to the other patients. Now you prove me right or wrong" she said seriously.
Emily just stared at Dr. Ryan as her smile re-appeared and she continued as if nothing at all was amiss. She began to lead her down the tiled hallway from which she came.
"It's such a shame your father couldn't wait with you. I was looking forward to meeting him and interrogating him about you." Dr. Ryan said to Emily.
"No. He's going up to Scotland. To do some..." it struck her hard that she couldn't remember what her father had told her he was doing. Hadn't she been concerned? When she was younger she used to break down every single time he went to get shopping. Why hadn't she worried about him and what he was doing? She wasn't selfish. She... She wasn't so sure what to label herself with anymore.
"Fishing. Yes, he told me. It's very pretty up there this time of year, you know. Or so I hear. Have you ever been?" Dr. Ryan asked her. She just shrugged and let the matter drop. She didn't like small talk. It was too transparent to be of any use for distraction.
"Well, I guess I'd better do the whol tour of the "campus" with you. That's what some the kids are calling it now" she said with a little laugh.
"I'll be your therapist but you'll see a few other doctors from time to time as well. In the mornings at half past eight, you'll go to breakfast and then there are lessons at half nine. They're online and take place down in the computer wing. Lots of different courses but they do count towards your A levels. Attendance is mandatory. That goes on until two. Then you'll go to lunch and afterwards you choose an activity. Reading, music, art, whatever. You choose it entirely for yourself. At four there's dinner and then two hours of free time. Supper at seven and then a group therapy session where everyone in the group just talks about their day, whether it was good or bad, what they could do to change that or make it better. It's just a time for everyone to get to know each other better" she rambled on and on.
Emily just tuned her out in favour of studying her surroundings. It was a lot more homely than she'd thought. The passages were cream and clean but lacked any kind of hospital air. There were windows everywhere. Doctors' offices where patients were doing therapy, the doors sometimes open, sometimes closed. Emily glanced into one or two and saw various doctors and patients. Some paced the room, some sat like it was a meeting while others lay on the stereotypical couches. It seemed like a very relaxed, informal kind of therapy being implemented here.
They walked up a large, wide staircase and onto the landing of the second floor. Yet another long hallway stretched from right to left. She caught a glimpse of a library as she followed Dr. Ryan along the hallway and through a set of windowed double doors.
"And this is the mess hall where all meals are eaten. Most kids like to sit with their room mates or their group, y'know, for the familiarity of the setting. No assigned seats or things like that. If you're ever still hungry after a meal, by all means, go back for seconds because there's plenty. If you ever want a snack there are coolers in each room and you're welcome to bring anything from here up except the main meals of the day" she told Emily as they entered.
The room was big and spacious with large windows all the way along the walls. The walls were white and large oak tables were spread out across the floor. Kids were in the line to get food and Emily supposed that it was lunch time. Looking around, she realized that there was no way she would ever guess this was part of a psychiatric hospital. Partly because it was so open and light.
But mostly because of the people. They were all young and different but so normal looking. It looked like any canteen in any school. Her eyes lingered on one tiny little girl, no older than seven, who was sitting nearby at what looked to be the kiddy table. She munched on an apple while she happily coloured in a unicorn on a piece of paper. What could possibly have driven such a young child to require help so soon in her life?
She averted her gaze when the girl looked up and her eyes wandered again, halting at the table in the right corner of the room, furthest from her where a small drama seemed to be unfolding. A boy with copper coloured hair placed an apple down in front of the girl opposite him, his eyebrows drawn together with worry. He kept pushing it towards the girl but she just grabbed it and pushed it back more forcefully, shaking her head. Another boy, a blond one, said something then and the girl shot up from her seat and marched away from the table, dumping the apple in the bin. The copper haired boy looked angrily at the blond before getting up and stalking out of the room, fists clenched. Emily just watched the blond one though. He had a self satisfied smirk as his eyes followed the girl and for minute Emily's gaze met his.
It was only a minute and there was nothing spectacular to be seen in them but she saw something that struck off in her own chest. Pain.
"Here comes Kat; she's going to be your new room mate" Dr. Ryan's voice pulled her away from those brown eyes. Then Kat was in front of them and Emily realized just how ill she looked up close. Dark circles under eyes, pale skin, she was even shorter than Emily, which added to the overall effect of unwellness. She was clad in a pair of light wash jeans, with a green tee shirt and a black sweater.
Kat stopped in front of them and a smile lit up her face, like a child who'd gotten just what they wanted for Christmas. It struck Emily that she was very pretty but she would have been stunning if she didn't look so emaciated. Once she smiled the shadows on her face shifted and she looked less like a dead body and more alive.
"Kat", Dr. Ryan said solemnly, "What did we agree on yesterday?"
Kat sighed and looked down at the ground and then back over her shoulder. Her tiny frame seemed to slump when she realized the copper haired boy had left just after her. "That I have to eat at least half of what's on my plate. And I didn't. And I don't even feel bad about it" she replied, chin stubbornly held up now.
Dr. Ryan just nodded. Right. The trust thing that seemed to be in operation, Emily realized. "Kat, this is your new room mate. Emily. I was wondering if you'd like to bring her upstairs so she can get settled. Maybe you could help her unpack?"
"Sure, no problem." Kat said, looking Emily up and down. With a parting smile, Dr. Ryan left them there. Kat led Emily out of the mess hall and towards the stairs and she began speaking.
"All our rooms are on the third floor. Just up these stairs. I guess we're going to be stuck together for a while" Kat said with a chuckle. Emily just followed her up the stairs and watched her open the door of the room nearest the staircase. They both stepped in side and Emily felt relieved. It was just an ordinary room. The walls were light blue; the floors were wooden with a glazed finish. There were two twin beds resting on the left side of the room with a large closet on the opposite. A window was in the middle of the back wall with bookshelves surrounding it; a couple of smaller plush chairs next to them.
"That bed's yours" Kat said with a jerk of her thumb. Emily set her bag down silently and began to unpack. It was a little awkward, unpacking while Kat watched silently, obviously dying to begin interrogating Emily good naturedly. She didn't mind. She was new, after all. In a place where time passed slowly, a new arrival was like a God send.
"No bars on the windows?" she commented wryly. Kat chuckled and lay back on her bed, her eyes never leaving Emily, taking in every movement like a squirrel. Curious. Excited.
"No. So, what are you in for?" she asked.
Emily's hand instinctively reached for her sleeve, wanting to make sure it hadn't ridden up during the time she'd unpacked. Noticing the movement, Kat's eyes flooded with understanding and... sympathy?
"That's depressing. Could be worse though. You could be James" Kat said, deliberately changing the subject. Emily appreciated that a lot. She grasped the change and clung on, desperate for conversation not to swing back to her. She sensed somehow that Kat wasn't the kind of person to do that but she was wary and she knew appearances could be deceiving.
"Why? Who's James?" she asked, not fully understanding. She felt a little pang at the name James. It was too close to Jason for comfort and made her feel slightly hollow inside. She always felt like she was being pulled to pieces when she thought of Jason or Sam or her mother.
"You saw who I was sitting with at lunch?" Emily nodded and Kat continued, "James is the boy with bronze hair who was sitting across from me".
"Why would it be worse to be James?" she asked blankly. She was still quite confused. Kat moved to sit beside Emily on her bed secretively, leaning forward and smiling slightly. Emily unconciously leaned forward as well, curiosity fully piqued.
"He's got Cotard Delusion. Serious Cotard Delusion. He thinks he's dead" Kat said quietly. Emily blinked. She'd heard vague rumours about such an illness but she'd never actually thought it was a reality for anyone. Kat grinned at Emily's obvious sceptic surprise. She laughed then, a happy peal.
"It's true. He thinks he's dead. He's been dead for two years now but he's only been in Saint Sebastian's for a month, like me. His parents live in Texas and they paid to send him out here just because of Dr. Ryan. She's a specialist. The trouble is that when you're dead, you can't work. Or go to school. He went quiet for a year when he was fifteen and on his birthday he told his mum he'd died. Freaked her out, apparently. He wouldn't eat much or talk to many people. You'd be lucky to get much out of him most days" Kat said, slightly bored. She seemed fully reconciled with the strange idea.
"Right. But dead people aren't, y'know, hospitalised. Generally. What did he die of?" Emily inquired. Kat nodded twice solemnly.
"He was sick when he was fifteen with something bad. He got better but he kept telling everybody he was dead. His mum thought he was just a few pennies short of pound. Anyway, I don't want to be insensitive or anything. He gets really upset sometimes because he's full sure he's in hell. His parents were really religious and apparently they pushed him in school. He's got dysgraphia, see, so he was always at a bit of a disadvantage. He thinks he was defective and now he's in hell. Don't treat him differently, though. And don't try and convince him. Grace says just to be as normal as we can be around him. Oh, and don't talk about it to anyone either" she explained.
"What's he like?" Emily asked.
"Sweet. Funny. He likes reading and playing music. Sort of dreamy. Charming. Very smart. He annoys the hell out of me at meals, though. I mean, dead people shouldn't be trying to make you eat all the time, should they? For a dead guy though, he's pretty amazing" Kat said, blushing slightly. Emily would ask her about her relationship with James later, when they were better friends and she was sure she could trust her new room-mate.
"What about the other three you were sitting with? Who are they?" Emily inquired.
"Oh, they're Si, Jess and Alex. You'll like Si. He's hilarious, even about his condition. He's got Neglect Syndrome. According to Grace he's 'lost the ability to give equal attention to both sides of a space'. He's sixteen, a younger than me and the others, but he's very broad. Muscly, really. Plays a lot of sport. It's a bit weird, Neglect syndrome. In the morning when he gets up and shaves, he only does half of his face. Ask him or Grace if you want. He's very open and Grace can explain it better than me" Kat said, grinning again.
"And the others?" Emily asked.
"Jess is a kleptomaniac. She's seventeen and she will steal anything. Don't take it personally or get angry. It's not her fault. Just keep an eye on your stuff or steal it back. Alex is the know-it-all blond who was sitting at the end of the table. He's just your standard depressed, anger management case." Kat glanced at the small clock on the bedside table. "Crap. It's half two. I'd better show you to the 'activity' rooms. You should come and do art with me and James. He's an incredible artist".
Emily nodded and both girls rose from the bed slowly, unfolding there legs and shaking them to wake them up. Kat gave another tinkling laugh as she skipped out of the room.
"And I'll tell you all about Curtis. He's Si's room-mate. He has Stendhal Syndrome. He gets hallucinations and palpitations whenever he goes past the art room" she called over her shoulder.
Emily glanced around the room before leaving and she felt a strange, foreign tendrel wind it's way around her stomach. She had a strange thought. Perhaps she might...like it here.
Fin