Runaway Bride
"Right, so, I'll be taking this off your hands—" Okita informed Gintoki cheerfully. With a sword, but, you know, whatever.
Kagura looked at him quite imploringly, and he stroked his chin in thought.
"Okay. I guess I surrender." He folded his arms and patted Kagura's shoulder heavily. "Be good. You're entering the world of adults now, so remember to separate your colors from your whites—"
"Like you ever do," Shinpachi snapped sulkily, sporting a mottled puce shirt. It had once been blue."
Kagura was staring at him disbelievingly. "Ahem. Gin-chan. This nasty pervert is trying to kidnap me and force me to do his laundry for the rest of his life."
Gintoki shook his head, sighing, "It's a turning point in every young woman's life, Kagura. Don't be afraid!"
"But—but!" Kagura spluttered. Okita smiled quite warmly. And then prodded her in the back with his mp3 katana. But, you know, he was still getting used to that whole dating thing.
"Farewell!" Gintoki waved tiredly, sulking back inside. Shinpachi sent him a look of pure disgust. Kagura seemed deeply betrayed.
"You're fourteen, right? Right?" Okita pressed. Her little fists balled, and she raised her chin, locking eyes with her archenemy.
"You don't want me, you shitty asshole. Because—because I'm pregnant!"
The cup of tea Gintoki had been drinking shattered to the floor, and the man bent double.
Okita narrowed his eyes at her. "Eh."
"It's true!" Kagura insisted dramatically, and pointed towards Gintoki with a flourish, "With his baby! So—so back off!"
"W-W-W-W-Where's the panic button," Gintoki babbled feverishly. Shinpachi smacked the back of his frothing employer's head.
"Honestly, Gin-san, this is low. Even for you."
"I didn't do it!"
"Oh, yes you did," Kagura almost shouted, "Multiple times. In rapid succession. There, there, and there." She pointed at his desk, the couch, and the ceiling. Okita stared at her. He scratched the back of his neck thoughtfully.
"Is this because I didn't technically ask you?"
"Perhaps," Kagura intoned stiffly. She probably should have just punched him to begin with.
"Huh. You wanna?"
"NO!" Kagura roared, and two engaged in a brief, but intense battle. Shinpachi watched this for a moment, and then turned his attentions to Gintoki, watching the older man slink across the room towards the window.
"…Gin-san."
"I'm going to Canada!" Gintoki hissed, throwing one leg over the sill, "They'll never find me!"